Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Still Enough Hair to Run My Fingers Through... Phew!

All day long, I've been counting the hours until quittin' time. Not that this makes today any different from other days, but today I had something to look forward to when I got home. Someone very special was patiently waiting for me on my TiVo. Someone, oh, about 6'2" tall, British, incredibly sexy with a spanking new haircut. I have to say it was somewhat torturous spending the entire day trying to quell the urge to hop on over to YouTube to get an eye full of RPattz's visit to Ellen. I normally don't possess this type of restraint, but today I did. I know, I even surprise myself sometimes. I waited mainly because I needed to get the full television effect of the new haircut.

Ellen rarely disappoints me... especially when she interviews Rob. He almost looks as if he's comfortable with her. He doesn't appear to stammer through his answers as much as with other interviewers. Except, of course, when she mentioned dancing. The look of utter shock that flashed across that pretty face was fucking priceless. He was absolutely petrified that she was going to make him dance. Oh how I love frightened Rob... makes me want to hold him tight, and rock him until the scary stuff goes away.

So I got home, changed into my comfy clothes, flopped down on the couch and told my husband he had to stay upstairs while I watched Ellen. When I first saw the preh-tay with his fresh new locks, I'll admit, I really had to suppress the urge to lick my television set. Good thing... because if you saw the thick layer of dust on my TV right now, you would definitely question my housekeeping abilities (which have not been so great since the discovery of all things Twilight nearly a year and a half ago - and I'm looking at you, fanfic... Not good for taming the dust bunnies.) I'm gonna come right out and say it, I absolutely looooooove the new hair! Funny thing... my local radio station reported this morning that the reason he cut it was because Reese Witherspoon refused to work with him if he looked like Edward! Is she stupid? Seriously? Who wouldn't want to work with Rob these days? He mentioned he did cut if for Water For Elephants, but said nothing of Reese's supposed demands.

And then there's his clothing. Oh gawd, the white v-neck t-shirt... it makes me sweaty just picturing it in my head... and in a ball on the floor next to my bed... wha? Where am I? Oh right, the clothes... and of course the layers and layers of clothes. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't it warm in LA? Why is he always wearing so many layers? Jenny Jerkface has a theory: it's because he's shy and wants to hide behind his layers. Well then, how the hell is he ever going to get naked in front of me? It's ok Rob, I'll be okay if you just want to dig your pecker out of your pants for the sexy times. I'm not picky...

So the clothing thing got me to thinking... I know, it's dangerous when I start thinking. What if Rob wasn't a famous person? What if Rob was a homeless person? Would hobo Rob be the type of vagrant who wears every single piece of clothing all at once? It's dangerously close to that right now. Almost like he just rotates through so something different appears on the outer layer every day. (Kind of reminds me of the episode of Friends where Joey puts on all of Chandler's clothes.)

I thoroughly enjoyed Ellen today. She even made him play a game. I seriously wanted to cut the lucky bitch who got picked from the audience to essentially fondle the fuck out of RPattz and two other dudes in the Pattin Pattinson game. It was pretty funny. But shit, if that was me, I'm fairly certain I would have recognized those looooong legs and maybe even the shoes, before working my way up the rest of him - just to be thorough of course! I kept yelling at the TV: "The hands stupid, you can recognize him by his hands!!" If you missed it, check it out here...

*Photos from Robsessed.


  1. Funny. I was thinking the same thing about 'the hands'. Of course if she had been allowed to touch his hair & face that would have been a DEAD give away. I would have gone for the a$$ myself. And, I too wanted to cut her. Sigh....lucky, lucky bitch. Wonder if she copped a feel?
    Oh, and I hope Reese isn't that fucking stupid. Everyone wants a piece of Rob....giggle snort.

  2. OMG 1- his hair AHMAZING
    2- OMG OMG OMG 3 REALLY?????
    3- im pretty sure if any of you guys had the chance you would not have skipped the indigiones zones!!!!! robbed i tell you robbed!! haha

  3. Wow this was a pretty tame post for you LKW...I expected a lot more profanity and definitely tons of sexual perversion. ;)

    Can't wait to watch in on my computer of vino in hand. I don't have

    But it is my Friday JEALOUS?!

    w/v "comant" <~~ lol is that how RPattz says "comment"?
    xo J

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  5. The hair slays me...I am died....ruly truly...wanna run my hands all up the back of his sweet lil noggin.

    I was wondering about all the layers too....I thought perhaps he has lost a lot of weight for the role in WFE...ya know Christian Bale style? I could live with that...I am fond of skinny hobo Rob!

  6. Look, I'm Chandler. Could I *BE* wearing any more clothes??

  7. I skipped your videos. I can't bare to watch her grope him all over - again. I can not believe she didn't for the hands. That would have been the first thing..I think..that I would have done. Course, if she is anything like me (apparently not since she is lucky obviously), she was probably all flustered and under mega pressure. You think she got a talkin' to about not going for the junk?

    While I love his long hair, I like the new cut too! (And we know the long will be back soon enough!). It's just like I pictured for Jakob in WfE. And surely to GOD, Reece Witherspoon did NOT say that, she can't be that stupid.

  8. Oh, speaking of layers, did you notice how the left side of his shirt collar was all tucked under? I wanted SO bad to reach into the tv and fix it for him....

  9. LOL @Joey "Could I BE wearing any more clothes?"

    The hair is dehydrating me, unf. I loved it last time he did it and have been patiently WAITING (hated Bel Ami hair tbh). Last night's highly important google research indicated 1930's style was cropped below and long and slicked back on top. I'm hoping there will be a few scenes when it's flopping down in bangs, though (<3 Pretty's naturally straight hair).

    The clothing layers do seem like protection. He's frightfully thin, so he probably does it for some bulk, too. And he said he's more comfortable because it helps hide how nervous he is and that sometimes he's hyperventilating...he seemed serious when he said it.

    JFC, cute Aussie fanflightattendantgirl. It's all in the HANDS. Don't even get me started...I've got a ridiculously well developed "if that'd been me" fantasy worked out at this point. Did she even think to SMELL him for us, lol?

    Both sides of interview a little flat, though, imho.

    Am I the only one who thought he might have crossed the "you're getting married" Bella/Eclipse question with real life? Cuz he answerred that JUST like he used to talk about proposing to Kristen all the time...

    Oh, and there's one deep chuckle in there...I swear if he chuckled like that into my ear I would not live to feel the second vaginal contraction.

  10. So funny...because the whole time I was watching the lucky fan grope him I was thinking...."the thumb! Grab the thumb!" Poor girl was an amateur.
    I love when he's on ellen...she is so funny in a dry way and the interview always takes a strange turn somewhere.

  11. Oh sweet Jesus...I really wanted to stab that bitch watching her hands rove The Precious.

    I would have immediately gone for the hands, and probably done an accidental crotch pass while reaching for them. Those magnificent hands...

    I LOVE the hair. And I still want to stab that bitch...

    The thing I loved the most was that fucked up collar he was sporting. That is something that would happen to me on national TV. Awesome.

  12. I watch it with my husband who said off hand that If I would been the girl I would not have recognized him either to what I say I would of and only touching his hand !...I guess not so many ppl are as observant as us ..I love the new hair cut and I love how he get so fluster when the girl was groping ( b/c come she was ) him ..As far as the layers go I love that b/c I could easly imagen me taking my time to take them off one by one ..uff need a shower now so was a great interview ...

  13. I hate the hair...there, I said it. I am just partial to longer hair on men and on the precious in particular. It looks uneven in the front and dammit now there's nothing to grab onto in the back (as if I'd ever have that particular delight!)

    Seriously though, Rob is such a good sport. He allowed a total stranger to feel him up on national television. As we all know, it should have been one of us, because we would have gone right for the sweet spots....fingers, feet, ass, beauty mark on by his ear...there is no way we would have gotten that wrong. Damn bitch got to feel up our sweetie!!

    pssst...guess what...he said "ahhh mee!!!

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  15. ZOMFG, I was a hot mess today waiting for Ellen. Not only did I have to wade through this illness of mine staring at my twi-facebook account, but I am also on fraking west coast time. So all the updates of "STFU, Rob's hair is SOOOO lickable" and "Why didn't she grab his fucking crotch?!" had me reeling and closing the shit down until 4:10pm (MY TIME). I was not disappointed.

    And seriously...Why didn't she grab his crotch? Or at least take a healthy graze....Seriously. She had fucking 30 seconds to rub someone down? I would have just gone to town on body #1 and prayed. If I was right, it would have been 100% worth it. If I was wrong, I just have to say "oops, my bad." I still get to meet him and possibly hear my name roll off of his fuckhawt tongue.

    PS I loved his wonky faces. There are some stills I saved from fb that made me gigglesquee :)

  16. Okay, I admit it -- I suck at watching interviews. I start and then I'm all fucking "ooooh shiny penny" but jeezus fruckin'cheetos is he so fucking disgustingly adorable. And charming. And absurdly shy and quirky.

    Fuck me. I think I'm having a total 200% fangirl moment over this fucking show.

  17. @hypovag- OH NO NO NO NO---I didn't say I was giving up my spot...and I'll fight ya for it!! I'm still jonesing for that adorkable boy!! It's just hair and there there are plenty of other things to grab!

  18. love his hair.

    loved the pattin pattinson game, i was laughing out loud. how cute did he look in that robe? such a good sport. and so NOT holier than thou.

    i didn't think he was quite himself in this interview though (cause i know him so well:) perhaps a bit tired.

    someone needs to help him get dressed or at least pull his collar out. i'm looking at you kstew. although i think she has inspired him to shower more so than before.

    he's adorable. taking ballet til he was 10. sigh.

    VW:saddleg. can't wait until angry edward makes bella do the saddleg on his bed.

  19. Oh man, LKW, you made me lol at the "Could I BE wearing any more clothes?" picture. :)

    Love Rob's hair in pretty much any way he wears it - adorbs! @Hypohistoricallyaccuratevag, I love that you did research. :)

    Thanks for making me laugh tonight, ladies - it's been a real shitty night and I seriously needed it!

    Oh, and my new Twitarded hat came today!!! I will take a pic of myself in it to show you as soon as I no longer have teh puffy eyes.


  20. THAT FUCKING BITCH WHO TOUCHED HIM WAS FROM MELBOURNE & IT WASN'T ME! She went all the way to the states & she didn't even touch his hands, ass or junk? She should be ashamed of herself making us Aussies look bad. THEN after the game was over she wasn't even talking to him. I would have fucking rugby tackled him & had to be dragged off by security (actually I'd probably just stand there making Homer Simpson do-nut drooling noises & look like a complete tool.
    I so wanted to fix his collar...
    On the subject of hand porn this was tweeted to me today drool

  21. It seems we are all in agreement that stupid-felt-him-up-bitch should've went for the hands. GAH! How can she call herself a fan, I mean really?

    His hair is simply divine! 'Nuff said.

    He looked like he was gonna shit his pants at the thought of dancing! And Rob was right, he's way more beautiful than Julia Roberts. His picture in People Magazine was a panty soaker fo sho!

  22. He is my most favorite when he is on Ellen...he does seem so much more relaxed with her.

    I like the hair too...he could have a fucking mullet and I would still think he looks good...I think...hmmmm...maybe that wasn't the best hairstyle choice to make my point.

    I agree with all previous...why did she not go for the hands...or feel his shoes. If she has been paying attention she would have seen he was wearing a bracelet. Fuck what is wrong with people? Clearly they are just not as observant as us.

    He is so fucking adorable.

  23. OK I just watched it again. She also could have felt for his chest hair. I think I have each of those hairs memorized...I know I am sick. The bracelet would have been the dead give-away. Now whussup with the black bracelet? Does KStew have one too?

  24. Yeah! The legs, hands and the fact that he started laughing while she was doing it would give it away to me. I like the hair too, although I kept thinking he looks alot like my ex w/that hair and considering they're the same size, height and have gorgeous blue eyes and are both pretty I was kinda freaked out but Rob has a better personality than the ex idiot does LOL. I cracked up so bad when she mentioned the dancing and his eyebrows shot to the ceiling and his eyes looked saucers I thought he was going to shit himself and oh gawd don't even get me started on him and his shirts- one side tucked in, the other flipped out too funny.

  25. loved him on ellen. so carefree.
    loved the hair. reese just wanted the precious to look more like her ex (which we all know is not possible - no one can touch the precious).
    i would have gone for the hands too - no brainer! (as if - i know i would have passed out before i even got to the stage)

  26. LOL @ the Joey reference.

    Okay, not HUGE fan of the new haircut, but of course I don't have to say I'd take him any which way... Freaking DUH!

    And why that girl didn't go for those beautiful phalanges is beyond me! She really did not take advantage. I'm fairly certain I'd be disqualified for at least grazing the no-go zones... coping a feel or just running my fingers through that magical hair or tracing along the line of the sexjaw. .. it'd be worth it.

    Btw loved seeing Rob in that lady robe.. maybe 'cause I have one kinda like it, but it gave me the giggles.

  27. Ok, lets talk for a second about the "not thinking" portion of the interview, which was pretty damned funny btw! I'm not ashamed to say that I've been watching lots of old Rob interviews on youtube lately, so here's my humble opinion. I actually think that his brain moves pretty damned fast in fact that shit comes flying out of his mouth at break-neck speed! And a lot of it is really fucking funny (We have the same sense of humor...we would so get along!!) The problem, is that that boy has NO fucking filter! Stuff is out of his gorgeous mouth before he's had time to process what he's saying and it comes back to bite him in the ass! Poor boy.

    I'd also like to officially submit my application for Rob's Pre-Event Wardrobe Checker. Duties would include, but not be limited to, fixing his collars, properly buttoning his shirts, making sure I zip or re-buttoned his pants, tying his shoes, mussing or un-mussing his hair as the occasion warrents ect. Thank you in advance for your consideration.

  28. I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought that chick was stupid for not going for the hands. I wonder if there was a rule against sticking his fingers in your mouth? All I hear was that she couldn't touch his head... did that include both?

    And I meant to put a little warning about the Reese comment - I heard this on the "daily dish" segment on my local radio station and sometimes I think they get their information from places like the Enquirer so I'm not sure how reliable it is. I really hope she didn't say that.

    I also wanted to give myself a shout out yesterday (LOL) and I totally forgot. It was ONE year ago yesterday (5/19) that I jumped into the world of blogging and starting Ramblings of a Latchkey Wife! Wow, doesn't feel like it's been a whole year.

    Happy Thursday everyone!

  29. The contestant has to realize she is the luckiest fangirl in the world right now!! Annnnnnd then she blew it....not literally of course...

    I would have def. at least TRIED to get an ass grope or squeeze those thighs and biceps :)

    I wonder what Rob was thinking when they asked him to get in a silky robe???

  30. Am I the only h00r who would have grabbed the hip-booooooones? I would know him from the hip bones, I'm telling you! OK I'd double check with the hands, but first thing first -- hip booooooooooones!

    Uh oh where's my sham-wow?

  31. Pimpin, I know

    I posted this yesterday. I get to play "Pattin' Pattinson"

  32. Holy shit this interview is like fucking torture. I mean, seriously, is he trying to kill me with his adorable schtick? Between the new hair and the vision of little Rob doing a ballet dance to the Batman theme song? *thud*

    I am ruined.

  33. @cupcake donna - you had me at "I stop dead in my tracks, my head snaps in the direction the beautiful sound just like the Velociraptor in “Jurassic Park.”"

  34. Dooood - I was totes mentally (because I watched it at work) screaming for her to go for the hands too. Serious, 5 seconds on the hands, 30 on the ass - done!
    - Lorabell ;)

  35. Hmmm perhaps the braclet was a birthday gift from Kstew??? I'm loving the new hair, he could be bald for all I care...
    I would have gone for the hands too!

  36. He was ADORABLE on Ellen. He's so awkwardly delicious. And yes, it's all about his hands. Though I think I would have stood back to back with him and just rubbed up and down. Gah, mmm, ok, where was I. I don't think I would have been able to exhibit much control if I'd been the lucky wench playing that game. And I so did not notice the shirt collar, my attention elsewhere.

    Oh, and I dig the new hair. Still prefer the longer locks but I like that it's still a bit long on top. Still enough to get your fingers entangled in. Oh ah my, mind wandering now, excuse me.

  37. @Toefunny - I too loved the "not thinking" part, too funny! It totally reminds me of this running joke my bff and I used to have about my now-boyfriend. He tends not to think, like, at all, before he speaks, which leads to some interesting situations. And by interesting I mean highly offensive. But we used to joke around that sometimes, when he got this particular pensive look on his face, all that was going on was elevator music.

    Sometimes in rehearsal she'd lean over and point at him and just start humming a few bars of elevator-type tunes - good times.

    @LKW - congrats on your one year anniversary my dear!!!

    @Cupcake Donna - clever girl :)

    PS - I printed out and read the new MoBS update on the metro today on my way to work and literally sat there grinning like a motherfucking idiot the ENTIRE WAY. GAaaaahhhhhhhh!

  38. i think i would have risked getting hauled off by security for a chance at running my hands all over his head... either one.

    and i like his hair longer too but aint't nobody cutting my place in line while it grows out (shit - it's a looooong line - it'll probably grow out fine while i am waiting...)

    : )

  39. and BTW i didn't know that the second clip was going to launch RIGHT INTO the clip from the movie - gah! i was all "LOOK AWAY! LOK AWAY!!!"i don't want to watch anymore if i can help it. g'head - call me a pansy again, LKW you beyatch.

    AM i being a pansy?? i'm at that point again where I am questioning my committment to my twymen. Just like me - a little heavy petting and i'm all "Stick it in! Stick it IIINNNNN!!!"

  40. I swear to Edward, do you get through your day lately? The trailers are all the fuck over the place now. Oooh, that reminds me, the Twilight Soundtrack special is on in my time zone at 11...shweet.

    You're my favorite wannabe virgin.

  41. @lindsay rae - it ain't easy, sister! let me tell you... i think being crazy-busy irl keeps me out of trouble - if i were bored all day it'd be all over and i'd be whoring it up with the rest of you! : )

  42. Sweet Lady Gaga, STY, how the hell are you remaining a spoiler virgin??? You KNOW there were like eighty comments about how freaking hot that clip is. Give it up you closet spoiler slut! :)

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  44. bwahahaha!!! sorry, bed bella...

    : )

  45. @foooorkspimp - idk i watched the first two trailers that came out a while back and that was it. haven't seen most of the other images and whatnot. only what i have accidentally stumbled upon (and i don't stick around staring at what i do come across). i don't want to see the whole thing again before i get to the theater lol! it got ridiculous with NM...

    pansy? not pansy? i have no idea... maybe i should dive in and be done with it... the next 5+ weeks aren't going to get any easier - lol!

  46. "bed bella"?! haha!!! i am in raaare form today, typing-wise...

  47. @Snark - I do have to hand it to you. I, like so many others, have donned the clear plastic pumps that light up when you walk up and down the catwalk and have openly declared myself a ho0r. You're commitment to chastity is remarkable. I'd bow down to you if I wasn't so unashamed. I saw the first of the 30 sec. TV spots this morning and needed a fresh pair of panties before I even got my jeans on!

    @mypimp - That must be the BEST train ride EVER!! I was thinking of doing something like that for the cross continental plane ride to foooorrrkkss!!!! Obviously great minds think alike!

  48. An off-topic rant:

    I was at the mall today and clipboard guy walked up to me and asked if I wanted to see the Eclipse trailer (I've been avoiding Eclipse stuff since New Moon was a bit of a letdown, having seen so much beforehand)- I asked if he was joking as I whipped out my Twilight keychain. He had no clue the two were related.

    He asked how old I was for the survey. I said 51, and he told me I was too old, but my 17yo daughter who was with me qualified.

    She's not into Twilight (so she must not really be mine!), but was going to do it so I could see the trailer.

    We left because they were completely disorganised and I was ever so not-slightly pissed off.

    Too old my ass.

    Scummit, I want a refund of all the money I've spent on all the Twilight crap I've bought (and will probably continue to buy in the future).

    Cheryl, still slightly pissed off. :)

  49. @mytwilightdiet - fucking scummit - they sure know how to make the fans feel loved, don't they??? sheesh. too old my ass!

    : )

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  51. Dear Twitarded Goddesses,
    I recently was without my laptop and subsequently my internet for one week. That's seven days. Seven days where I was completely shut off from all things Twilight and RPattz... Thank Edward for my Twilight Audiobooks which is the only thing that has kept me sane. Regardless, my mother took pity on me and let me borrow her laptop until we buy a new one on Saturday. (This may all be a TMI but I felt it imperative to give a backstory) Thanks to my equally Twiobsessed friend I was informed of "The Ellen Episode". Thank Edward for her! I neglected to mention that I am also 20 weeks pregnant and am delightly suffering from Pregnancy Dreams. Vivid, hot, erotic dreams which truly have rocked my world at a time when my body is only rocking in the sense that well, I'm like a rock. Anywho! It was so amazingly hot watching Rob get Patted like that (despite the Aussie's obvious hesitation- as my friend put it, Nothing would have stopped her from double fisting that ass and never letting go!) triggered the hottest dream.
    Rob's limo breaks down in front of my house. I'm uber pregnant and apparently non threatening and poor Rob uses my facilities while his driver calls the tow company. The lustful seduction that ensues will def. land me in divorce court (unless pregnancy can be considered a legal defense of INSANITY). Let's just say when I woke up my kitchen island made me blush- and I mean blush- down there.

    This is all a long tangent to this topic... The second thing I did with this borrowed laptop (I had to check my baby registry first! and I want to add Twilight onesies!) was check your website.
    I'm never disappointed by your dirty, filthy minds and if I could fly in my 3rd trimester I'd be on a plane so fast to Forks, sans invitation, just because I want to meet you Twitarded Goddesses.

    Love you!


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  53. @Hypoallergenic Vagina - OH SWEET JESUS!!! Those Rob/Jacob/Water for Elephant shots are H.O.T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    For all thats good and holy, how can one be so FREAKING HOT AND ADORABLE!!!!!!!!!!!


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  55. @HV - I'm giddy...I'm seriously giddy. And I think I'm definitely over the edge. (could be the 3rd glass of wine on a Thursday night...) Nope, not the wine. It's definitely the hot Precious with his new fuckin' haught hair, dirt smudges on his face, and suspenders. And that one where he's leading the beautiful horse...what the fuck? That's like straight out of a freakin' fantasy or fanfic, right??? *fans self*

  56. @hypovag - That pic of him with the suspenders and the horse...thud...

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  58. @STY - I am in awe of your self control. You're so Zen I feel like you should be schooling us in how to catch errant flies with chopsticks. Wax on, wax off, mothafucka!

    @My ho Toefunny - it WAS the best commute ever! Except that I needed a new pair of panties by the time I got to work. Also, I was trying to hide the dirty dirty porn from my fellow commuters.

  59. "It's ok Rob, I'll be okay if you just want to dig your pecker out of your pants for the sexy times. I'm not picky..."


  60. I have to admit that I agree with Toefunny...I do NOT like the new haircut. Is he playing someone who is mentally challenged in his next movie? Or someone who let their 6 year old sister hold the hair clippers? I'm not up on my RPatz news right now (work + kids = damn that real life interfering with TwiTime) so I'm not sure WHY this haircut was necessary for his next role. Not to say that I wouldn't still do grin and I'd be a puddle at his feet waiting for him to dive in!


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