Monday, May 10, 2010

Twitarded Goes To FOOOORRRRKS Update!!!

We haven't talked about FOOOOOOORRRRRKKS!!! in a while, so we figured it's time for an update...

Are we still going? Nope. We called it off.

Just kidding!! Wow that would have been an awesome April Fool's prank had we thought of it, but a little too mean even for us (despite what some people may say about us, we're actually pretty damn nice imho). "Hey you're now the proud owner of a useless non-refundable airline ticket! Congratulations! Wait! Come back! April Fools!!!"

Yes, of COURSE we are still going! And it's going to be AWESOME! But I get the feeling that we need to manage expectations a tiiiiny little bit. Here's the thing: I am afraid that more than a couple people are going to arrive in Forks expecting a carefully choreographed, well-planned, event-filled extravaganza. Um, or you may have thought about how we roll here at Twitarded and realized that this will never happen. Regardless, several people have asked me if anyone famous will be there. And while I realize that I need to up my game and take this beyond "Hey let's all go to Forks and get drunk together!" (not that this won't happen - oh believe me, it will! - but we'll have a tad more preparation done by September/October), the answer is no, there will not be any famous people/Twilight stars there. In fact, I'm pretty sure all their PR reps, girlfriends, boyfriends, hangers-on and family members are doing everything humanly possible to keep them as far from Forks as possible that weekend. They'll probably all leave the country. OK some of the wolf pack and a few Volturi dudes will be at the TwiTour in Portland that weekend (sorry - we had out date first!), but that's as close a brush to fame as you'll have that weekend unless someone pulls through and show up with RPatts [Latchkey, I'm lookin' at you].

But the fact of the matter is this is not a TwiTour convention or anything close to it. Back when people first started joking about "TwitardCon2010," I was laughing right along with you all. What a ludicrous idea!! But here we are, making it happen! Aaaand please know that this is not a professionally planned convention. We're not asking people to shell out hundred of dollars on tickets to events and there won't be anyone there for photo ops. You won't have to decide if you want to go for the still-pretty-expensive "Silver-Plated" package where they confiscate your camera and mobile devices and make you sit in the back of the room, or the "Diamond-Studded Platinum Package" where you get to sit in PFach and Kellan's lap, have a tickle-party with Jacksper, and then get present you with a personalized, autographed cast of Robward's junk (what - you never heard of that one? Sheesh - you really missed out...).

Nope, it's not going to be a Twilight "convention"... It's going to be better! It's going to be a Twitarded par-tay!! It won't cost you a million dollars and Jenny Jerkface might accidentally puke on you! Can you get that at a convention? No. No you cannot. Because this is gonna be special like that!

We'll be announcing some actual details soon (we're not TOTALLY clueless - we will have some stuff planned and you can participate of not - up to you!), and we'll have some additional resources in place for people to coordinate ride and room sharing and things like that...

If you need a refresher on the details - from "WTF are we REALLY doing this?!" to "Here's the specifics as we know them so far!", you can read the original posts -

You can also go HERE to Facebook, where VitaminR70 has been slaving away trying to herd the pile of kittens that is the Twitarded road trip. Go to the FB discussions to find Forks-y information!

We're still trying to decide if this requires a separate blog... There are several schools of thought on the whole "Forks Blog" thing: "Hells no, that's too confusing and I don't want to follow another blog!" is one... Then there's "Please keep it separate because I'm not going and don't want to hear about it!" And on the flip-side of that we have "I can't go and I TOTALLY want to hear about it so keep it right here on Twitarded!"

Probably the single most important thing we need to know right now is how many of you are as nuts as we are and planning on converging on a small logging town in the Olympic Peninsula to hang out with a bunch of crazy broads you have never met??? Because a few of us have been crunching the numbers and we're guestimating that there are probably 50-60 Twitards out there so far who are are fully committed to coming along for this wild ride. WOW! This is going to be epic. EPIC!!!!

On that note: I'd love everyone to leave their thoughts on the Forks trip pilgrimage in the comments, but if those of you who are definitely "in" can start your comments with a separate line saying you are coming (and letting us know if you are dragging along some unsuspecting plus-one/friend/easily-manipulated relative who wouldn't be commenting in the blog), it would be amazingly helpful to us. We need to let the innocent townsfolk know to order sufficient provisions, after all [read: if the liquor store runs dry, there's going to be trouble].

We'll have more specifics on what we have planned (and what we'd like to plan) coming soon, or my name isn't Snarkier-Than-oh-my-gawd-I-can't-believe-we're-doing-this-You!

P.S. I know we need to update the "FORKS!" welcome sign that 17 Forever Lisa made for us - and a few other things around here! It's on the list...


  1. I am attending with at least one other crazy in tow. Two plane tickets purchased :)

    I would like a separate blog but if not, I will survive.

    If you need help with any plans (elaborate or not) let me know, I am willing to pitch in if needed (money, brain power, almost anything).

    SOOOOOOO excited!

  2. I'm pretty sure I'm someone's plus one since if I were stupid enough say no she'd probably handcuff me and hold a gun to my head while she kidnaps my ass lol.

    Plus I don't really have a need to go to TwiTour in Portland since I met most of those guys last year at Vampire Baseball. Peter won't be here so the only person that leaves on the list I want to perv on is Charlie but I can deal with missing it and plus I really have no desire to see Catherine LOL. So it looks like we're having a drunken rainy weekend in Forks instead haha.

  3. I so totally wish I could go :( I hate being unemployed. It sound like you'll have a fucking blast though!


    I am bouncing up and down in excitement right now! I'm with @Dangrdafne for the separate blog - I need little boxes to keep things in or else it gets all jumbled in my head.

    But I'M SO GONNA BE THERE BITCHES! I cannot wait. Madam Toefunny is gonna be my roomie and I'm going out of my mind with excitement.

    I'm also more than willing to pitch in and help where needed - no one responded to my desire for a Twitarded jam session and that made me sad. Anyone, Bueller?

    Anyways, there's no going back now. I broke the news to my boyfriend today that I'm going to be in Forks on my birthday weekend (YOU READ THAT RIGHT, HOS! We gonna get crunked). It went something like this:

    Amanda: So, I have something to tell you. You know that blog I read sometimes (ha, if he only knew)? Twitarded? Well, I'm going to Forks with them.

    Dave: Like a convention? Like a Twilight convention?

    Amanda: Um, not exactly. Kind of. But... with the ladies from the blog. It's kind of like a... community.

    Dave: Where the hell is Forks, anyway?

    Amanda: Um, in Washington. State.

    Dave: (laughing uncontrollably) You know I'm totally telling my roommates.

    Sigh. THAT is how much I love you ladies - I am going to put up with the incessant taunting of a house full of five guys in their mid-to-late twenties BUT I DON'T CARE BECAUSE I'M JUST THAT EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  5. Oops - obvi a different Amanda from the one immediately above me. I need a new handle - suggestions??

    Also - I believe at one point there was a suggestion of a bonfire on the beach? YES TO THIS IDEA. I assume permits are required? I would be happy to help with this.


  6. I so wish I was going. If I win the lottery before then, I am so there!

    Ps. What did this post say? I kinda went blank after reading "have a tickle-party with Jacksper".

  7. I AM COMING!! (I've been wanting to shout/scream/moan that ALL day!)

    Kneedshelp / Kristen from Nebraska will be there will my twiperv buddy Amber. We have our room booked and will be booking our flights this week.

    What? Sparkles WONT be there? Shut the fuck up! (juuuuuust kidding) My only expectation is laughs, drinks, and lots of sparkle peen references.

  8. Raising my hand proudly and jumping up and down with excitement!!! ME, ME, I'll BE THERE!!!

    (Thanks to my Forks Pimp!!!)

    I just made the decision to go last week and I've gotta tell you, I've been suffering from random bouts of hysterical laughter ever since. It is the single most ridiculous and fabulous thing I've participated in a long time!!

    This will be the first time in years that I've shut down my business for a non family or wedding related function!!

    And what do you mean there will be no celebrities...our fearless leaders will be there and they are total ROCK STARS!!

    A suggestion for the Twi-Trinity....maybe a shirt or sweatshirt to commemorate the pilgrimage that can be purchased at Cafe Press or Zazzle. There are so many talented Twitards who could design it for us!!

  9. I am totally going to FORRKKKSSS! And my "plus one" is layna.lane HAHAHA, She knows me too well.

    @STY- per our twitter convo, I knew there wasn't going to be any "famous" people there...I was just being sarcastic. I'm not too hard to please....

    As for the blog situation, my lazy ass votes for you to just keep it here... and if there are those who don't wanna read about put up a warning or disclaimer or something before the post?

    And if there is any help needed for planning this trip let me know, I am down to help as well. Oh and I stumbled across this site, its pretty cool and somewhat useful...

  10. I am in! I have a plus-one, so that's two of us total.

    We'll be coming up from the Portland area (screw you, TwiTour!), so are very close and I also volunteer if assistance with planning is needed. Just point me to what needs to happen.

    Blog here, blog separately, if you write it I will find it and read it. I'm super excited!!!

  11. Hey Twibitches...

    God I wish I was going! Unfortunately, the Pacific Northwest is a teensy bit too far to travel from New Zealand (i.e. the pacific very very south west, I guess).

    Suffice it to say my twi-bestie and I will be waiting at our laptops with baited breath in anticipation of updates from the (no doubt) debaucherous adventures of the Twitards. We'll be watching our New Moon and Twilight DVDs, reading endless fan fic and just generally wishing we were there!

    Awesome work on the blog, ladies, we love you! So nice to see some equally insane fans of the sparkle peen who really GET us. We get you too and long may the twitardedness continue!


  12. Caitlin and Jess will both be going to forks! (add 2 twitards to the list! oh, and my dog Charlie is coming too. no I'm not joking)

    I'll be taking 3 weeks off to drive from san diego to camp the northern california/oregon/washington coast with Charlie dog (yes named after *that* Charlie, he's a police dog reject so it's not that weird...) with FOOOORRRKKKS being the icing on the cakel. SO EXCITED! Jess is going to meet up with us from seattle.

    does anybody know if there are campgrounds in/near forks?

  13. I am so jealous. Attending thee Twitarded maiden voyage to Forks is my ultimate (2nd) wish. (1st one-- having one night w/ Rob duh). Damn it! I hate family reunions and being a poor student! Just know all us sadpandas will be living vicariously through y'all. So go balls out and I want to hear about all the crazy ass (pervy?) shenanigans you get yourself into. Don't forget to take your camera to the slammer.. we want pics! Give Chief Swan my love!

    Oh Forks.. you small, lil' quaint logger town.. you have no idea what's coming to you!!!

  14. I forgot to mention before but you can count me in for helping if needed too since my leader Shelbiferlynn and I are also in the Portland and the Columbia River Gorge areas.

  15. I'll be there with a plus one! I can't wait!! It's gonna' be EPIC!!! I'm so excited!

    I'm happy to help get you h00rs organized. Just lemme' know what you need me to do. Can we make some kind of spreadsheet or something to help us all get to know each other and where we are from? And to keep track of arrival times and who needs a room and who needs a ride?

    And I reckon if a group this large wants to go to dinner or something, we will need some reservations. Does this tiny town have a place big enough for all of us?

    There is just one little problem . . . many people know I'm going to Forks. Some people know I'm going with my Twitarded friends. But I really don't want some people - like any effing idiot who surfs the interwebs - to be able to match up TheRugbymom to my RL identity. I sort of need to keep my job [so I can pay for this trip!] My boss would not look favorably on some of the comments I may or may not have made on this or other blogs. [Some bullshit about moral turpitude clause or whatever . . . douche.]

    Can we figure out a way to do this without publicly outing ourselves?


    I had a big ass dance fest when neverthink sent me an email w/ her flight info! I'm picking her hot ass up in Portland as I drive up from Eugene and we're continuing the drive together. Mutual masturbation is a possibility. Nay, requirement.

    Jesus fucking Christ on a Crutch, I am SO fucking stoked!!! We got plans, bb's. PLANS. I'm already shopping for supplies (in bulk). I love sifting through these comments to see which h00kers are gonna be out and about with us!!!

    I think we should set up a separate blog...Not everyone can go, and that sucks, but that means they definitely won't want to be reading blog posts toward the end of the summer. And the discussion boards at fb are helpful, VitaminR is doing a great job manning that shit.

  17. I'm 90% sure I'm in. Hotel reserved, no plane ticket yet. Tight on dinero these days. If so, it's me plus 1.

    Ppl were seriously asking if there were going to be celebs? Um..YAH...JJ, STY & LKW! Duh bitches!
    This is a Twi bloggy drunken meet up, not a twi convention you fools!
    xo J

  18. @layna - Got travel plans? Caravan maybe?

    And I'm in for helping out, too. Just shoot an email my way, or if you just make a list and we can call dibs on shit that needs to get done.

  19. oh oh! mr koh-tahh! *raising hand*

    here! here! neverthink will be HERE! erm, err there? aaaand with the twatwaffle linds.

    *looks around...shhhhh* *whispers* i totes got her to pick me up and drive us in so i can drink all the fucking way up there *smirk*

    a few points to note:

    1. Ima officially calling it "the abandonment" cuz like hypovag said, "it will be a throw-the-clothes-off running around in the woods in the pacific northwest under the moonlight" kinda event. and stuff.

    2. no expectations on anything. i'm flexible (thats what SHE said - badda-boom)

    3. @rugbymom. yeah, i need to pull a catherine petersen too and keep my RL outta the *cough* press. as long as all you h00rs all promise not to take a pic w/o warning, it should be all cool.

    i am really excited (and not just because of the awesomesauce gif i just created over on fuckbook. heh.) because ima going to get to meet some of the wittiest, sassiest - nee snarkiest - twats to ever grace a blogspot. yay me!

    oh and bonus SCORE! i won't need a FUCKING FILTER!

    so i leave you dreaming of something wicked this way coming.

    and this. This. THIS little ditty mia bella regazza sent to me. *sigh*

  20. I'm in with possibly 8+/- tagalongs... 9/27 is my 35th birthday, so we're making the FOOOOOOOOOORRRRKKS weekend double as my birthday celebration :-).

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  22. @neverthink - you never fail to disappoint you silly twat!

  23. I am deep IN...Twymen busting deep baby.

    @Cetacean34--We can post some campground information when we figure out where and how we are going to start this informational frenzy. There are definitely places to camp. Oh, and I freaking love that you named your dog Charlie...holy shit I love that. I may have to steal that for next pooch. I don't my hubtard would catch on to that...or at least he wouldn't mind so much.

    @The Rugbymom--interesting that you brought up the photo thing. I just sent an e-mail to JJ, STY, and LKW saying the same thing. I don't think there will be any way we can totally control it but I am guessing that if we have our fearless leaders request respect and privacy in this department that people will be respectful.


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  25. OMG I can't wait to go to FOOORRRRRRKKKSSSS!!! My plus ones are Mrs P, 17foreverlisa and Cullenary Curser, and can we all have the Diamond-Studded Platinum Package please? :)

    I'm not on facebook (gasp) and am resisting peer pressure to join, so I vote for a temporary blog or separate link so that we can obsessively talk about the trip without driving too many people crazy.

    @cetacen34 - Where in San Diego do you live? I'm in RB, and F-Kat, Z any Mouse and TwiredJen all live around here too!

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  30. My sister and I are IN for the "Olympic Retreat"...rental car booked, tickets soon to be purchased, and hotel in the works.
    Any other Midwesterner's? We will be outbound after classes on Wed. from Minnesota- given my sister doesn't puss out and side with responsibility. This is a once in a lfe time am I right??

    @LKW/STY/JJ: The FB message board seems a bit clogged - if ride/hotel sharing is happening could it be broken down by region? If anyone form our state would prefer not to go alone because they lack a special Twitard in their lives we would be down with coordinating to make it happen just need the venue to post info. : )

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  33. Lindsay Rae- caravan sounds good to me but you'll have to ask @Shelbiferlynn about that, she's the planner in our pairing and I'm sure she'll be the one driving since I'm coming from about 70 miles East of the metro to meet up with her.

  34. seriously? did you just post this? have any of you 3 checked your email recently? Stoney, smartE, and Mr.Pantz sent you a little something about 2.5 hours before you posted this that you may find of interest...

    2 cunts and a cock ready for action


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  36. mr.pantz and smartepantz will be in attendance of course.

    fuckin' right!!!!!!!

    i seriously cannot wait. you've hit it on the head by saying it is a party. that's pretty much all i see it as. one nice long no kids anywhere in sight and no one asking anything of me and no work to get to tomorrow so i better drink myself into a stupor which will last just long enough for me to rest up and repeat cycle.

    not sure what E wants to do. :)

    and i, for one, am ALL for a FFFFOOORRRKKKSSS!!! blog. i work with one simple motto. prepare, prepare, prepare. execute, execute, execute.

    it has worked well for me thus far...

  37. I am in and my plus one is Honolulu Girl.

    She hasn't written yet but HG actually added me. Excited and scared to be there and wondering if FSE should come along since I'm just coming in from Vancouver. I foresee that you'll probably have enough of them though.

  38. I am totally down with a Caravan!! You Best believe "FORRRRKKSSSSS!!! or Bust" WILL be plastered on my SUV's windows! HAHA.
    @Lindsey Rae & @ Musing Bella since we're all from the PDX area we should Totally caravan... We need to work out the details.
    You can email me...

  39. Unless like some miracle happens, I'm not coming... sadly.

    But, I sooooo wanna hear all about it. I don't care either way, whether you have a separate blog or continue blabbing about it here.

    I only have one tiny request though. When you go, bond in alcohol (which we all know is the strongest bondage there is), and come back, please, don't forget about the rest of us who were unable to attend this craze fest. Do we have a deal? :D

  40. I am trying my best to get there – so I am a definite maybe! Coming from across Europe, but hey, its one of those crazy once in a lifetime type trips huh?!!

    Anyhow I really, really want to come and join in the shenanigans, so fingers crossed I can pull it all together!


    PS. Yeah, I am still needing to keep my Twi-life separate to RL – Argh! RL sucks!!

  41. I'm coming *snort* and potentially recruited Mrs TCA, Canadian bestie Jenna, TwiSuperFan and RobPattzNews thus far :)
    - Lorabell *bounce*

  42. I'm actually a river *sobs*

    I'm not coming. How I whish you weren't all living so far *sobs*

    I'd swim from the Mediteranean sea to the pacific ocean if I could (shall I add a *sobs"-thing ? No. You must have understood my state of mind by now)

    I don't mind for another blog provided we read the whole story.


  43. Unfortunately, I won't be there to join the mayhem.

    Please don't start another blog. It's too much to keep up with and I'm sure if it was separated, I'd miss something and if I'm not going and I miss something while trying to live vicariously through you -- I'd be PISSED!!! ;-)

    You rock.

  44. I won't be going, but I'm totally part of the ""I can't go and I TOTALLY want to hear about it so keep it right here on Twitarded!"

    I want to laugh and snort wine out my nose when reading about all the bat shit crazy stuff ya'll will be doing!!

    How's that webcam coming along?? I want LIVE footage ladies!!!

  45. I already planned a trip to Forks the last weekend in July :-(

    Would love to go and meet the celebs. Aren't the Twitarded Trio & Mrs P celebrities?


    It is the only thing that is keeping me going.

  47. Twilove already counted my attendance but yup I'm coming. I think she let you know who else was going to be in our crazy minivan of doom (it's not a minivan of doom per say but I like calling it that)

    I'd like the diamond package please. Oh good lord would I ever like the diamond package. Actually, I'll be happy to even just sit on First or Second beach or whatever and drink.

    As for blogging this stuff - whatever you guys decide will be fine. People will just have pick their own damn wedgie if they so happen to get their knickers in knot.

  48. I'll be there... and I may or may not have a bound and gagged someone in tow... I guess that all depends on if I can locate him. LOL!

    This trip is going to fucking EPIC!!!

  49. Sadly I won't be there :-(

    Washington State is a bit too far from the UK, and since I'm still fairly new to this site and don't really 'know' you that well (yet!), I think I'd have a hard time justifying the expense and time away to my (non)Twitarded family :-( [Well, actually, they're not all non-Twitarded - my youngest son is on his 2nd round of reading the books ;-) ]

    Anyhow, I don't really mind what you do blogwise - as long as you let us know where to read about it - 'cos I'm actually enjoying getting all excited for those of you who can go!!!! (And I'll probably spend that weekend getting rat-arsed at home in sisterley unison with you all, tee hee!)

    Can we have some more RPattz pics please - I've worn most of the others out ;-)

    I thank you.

  50. I AM COMING - and probably 2 others with me. We are planning on bring an RV and staying at the camping facility there in town.

    I cannot wait!!!!

  51. @Tina - my 25th Birthday is on 9/28!!! YESSS SO MUCH DRINKING TO BE DONE!

    I know I'm a bit younger than the average Twitard, but I've found my soulmate in you hoors, and the heart wants what it wants, damnit. AND I WANT YOU BITCHES.

    For those of you hoping to protect your privacy - I mean, I'm pretty sure the mug shots will become public after we get arrested for the first time, to let the good people of Forks know we're on the loose. But in all seriousness, maybe there could be a password protected site for picture sharing or something? I promise I won't post any on facebook. :) Twitard's honor.

  52. Mingreader and Outofmyming are IN.

  53. Hi Ladies! Sadly I don't think I'll be able to make it. :o(

    I was totally gung ho about it but I have some major expenses and two other trips planned this year. (A 3 week road trip in July to random places in the US and - don't laugh - a cruise with the Backstreet Boys in December. Plus I just realized how little I make at my current job and it depresses me.

    Have an amazing time and I'll definitely be watching/reading about it.
    I don't care if you have a separate blog or just write on here...I'll still read it. (But if it's here I'll have less trouble remembering to check it. lol)

    If I win money I'll definitely be joining you ladies in September (right after my bday!) It doesn't even need to be big money...even a scratch ticket win. :o)

    WV: iwore. (Which I totally read as iwHore.)

  54. I'm coming!!!! I'll have Annabella and JHB with me.

    Plane tickets have been purchased, hotel and car booked! I can't wait! I'm still a rather closeted Twitard (except with Annabella and JHB, but they live 12 hours away!), so I'm looking forward to letting my Twitard flag fly!


    Fuck yeah I'm coming! (that's what she said) Also, I'm coming alone (typical). Can't wait to descend on that sleepy town to get shitfaced and probably arrested, disorderly conduct is a given with you bb's! I can picture it in my head... after another shot of tequila I turn and slur, "I wuv you Latchkey Wife, I wuv all you guyzzzz sooo fucking much." *run for toilet, insert head, hurl* Good times!!!

    BTW - 9/30 is my wedding anniversary so I'll have to give Mr.M a 4:30am surprise before I drive my tired ass to the airport. It's the least I can do.

    I vote for the blog.

  56. I will be there, and you are so wrong about there not being any guys are the celebrities. I am rooming with cc, twilove, and Lisa... And riding in MOD...(mini van of doom)!!!!!

  57. I am coming w/ another in tow. 2 plane tickets already bought! And do you have a "Probably" column set up? Because one of my friends and one of her friends are 99.5% coming. So there's 2 more! So excited!

    And I vote for a seperate blog...Or not, just as long as there are more forkin' discussions about FFFFFOOOOOORRRRRKKKKKKSSS!

  58. @Amanda-My 25th birthday is 10/10, so right after we leave Forks. Looks like I'm the youngest in attendance so far :(

  59. @ Cinzia - a cruise with the BACKSTREET BOYS?! Please, please please let me know exactly how this goes. It sounds too amazing to pass up. Unless NSync was coming too.

    @Micki_Martini - aw, a 4:30 am surprise on your anniversary! So adorbs! :)

    @MK - YESSSSS Bday girls!!! I'm hunting down tiaras for us all as we speak. And pssshhh, you're like, 12 days younger than me? Rock out with your metaphorical cock out, honey!

    My liver is quivering in anticipation.

  60. I so wish I could go, but I can't go without my teenage daughter. Well I could but it wouldn't be nice to leave her in the hotel room as I get my drink on.

  61. so do we need some sort of FOOORRRKKKSSS!!!! daycare?

  62. HAHA, I can see it now! Twitarded Daycare, with such parenting gems as "Honey, don't pull people's pants down. Not unless they want you to."

    Seriously, that's excellent parenting, Mr. Pantz!! (I'm not being sarcastic - I think it's excellent advice)

  63. I am going to FOORRKKKS! Plus two tag alongs. We are so excited to meet the Twitarded celebrities.

  64. I'm soooo there!! and TOTALLY alone.

    I guess it makes it less embarrassing if I puke on someone or do some naked table dancing. The total bright side of things.

  65. I'm so there as well.

    @Heahter, aka Jake's Mommy - you can puke on me anytime.

  66. I am IN. And a plus one who doesn't comment here but has the liver, vocabulary and sense of humor to be allowed.

  67. I'll be there!!!

    I'll be coming solo from Atlanta (anyone else from ATL going?)

    Rooming with the beautiful @Laxplays (Cazza) and @AGirlintheSouth.

    Oh yeah, I will most likely need a place to live once this is all over, because my husband will probably change the locks while I'm gone.

  68. Er, I can't think of a trip that could possibly be less family-oriented, as far as children go (other than the Twitarded family, such as it is...)- I am pretty sure if there are any kids there in our group that someone is going to feel [semi-rightfully] call dyfs or child welfare or Charlie Swan on our asses... Unless your kids are old enough to [legally] sidle up to the bar with you, I'd say leave them and and their impressionable little minds at home lest we scar them for life. Therapy is expensive, ya'll.

    Now id someone wants to think about setting up a drunk tank, THAT would be a very good idea - lol...

    : )

  69. FOOOOOOOOOOOORKS!!! Mom and I will be there, so add 2 to your total. Flights and Forks Motel are booked. Count me in the birthday circle - my birthday is the Monday before we hop a plane to Seattle (but sadly, I can't offer any competition for the youngest Twitard award).

    @Cupcake Donna, we are coming from Atlanta - LMK if you want to figure out flight times, meet at the airport, etc.

    CAN'T WAIIIIIIITTT!!! This is going to be epic.

  70. wow could i have fit more typos in there? I think not...

  71. I am THERE!!! Me and Fat Girl Slim have had our reservations at the Forks Motel since JJ and STY said that was where they would be staying!
    I don't even care about planning - I just want to see all the twi-stuff and get drunk :) And JJ, I won't even get mad if you puke on me...

  72. @STY- i quite agree. Forks is not the place for children. We can store them in a compound the next town over. we'll just make sure to carck the window and leave out a couple bowls of water and kibble...

    @Amanda- :) Thanks.

    @ALL- you might want to rethink these "rock star" expectations. the reality might be a little less stellar than you think. i'm pretty sure that once JJ gets enough Tequila in her she's going to do enough public defecation to put Ozzy Osbourne to shame!!

    (love you, JJ... thanks for being the unwitting victim of a stellar joke. Mwah!!) :)

  73. @Musing Bella, neverthink, layna.lane, & ShelbiferLynn:

    CARAVAAAANNNN!!! We can work out deets much later.

  74. I'm In for FOOOOORKS +1

    Coming up from Portland meeting up with my hobag buddy in Tacoma and then heading to Forks by way of the liquor store.

    The Foooorks weight loss group is still active if you bitches wanna get your skinny on before you go get your drink on. We have a special motivational coach.

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  76. @Hypocomesithereonmyvag - DOOO IIITTTTTTT :-D

    You kill me, lady :)

    @jessica R - bday tiaras for all!

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  78. @HypopleasecomealloverusinFOOORRRKKKSvag: Jesus Fucking Christ, my heart just stopped. COME ON!!! COME ON!!! YOU CAN STAY IN OUR ROOM AND SLEEP IN NEVERTHINK'S BED!!

    I am shaking in anticipation here...Dammit! PLEASE!!!

  79. I was just in forks 3 wks ago and it was a blast. If you want to pick my brain let me know! We stayed in PA and just drove down for the day but there are some nice places to stay at First Beach in La Push and First Beach is amazing!! The Olympic Peninsula is absolutely gorgeous. I am jealous, I wish I could meet you all out there!

  80. @HypoVag - You showed weakness!!! Now these bitches are going to descend on you like a pack of newborn vampires and needle you until you finally acquiese and agree to go.

    @Mr.Pantz - LOL! I'll keep the biting heads off of doves to a minimum, I promise.

    As far as defecation goes -- two words. Upper Decker. As in, someone may get one that weekend. :)

    Oh, and I'm a whiskey girl (I think I just heard STY groan and make mental note to watch my intake of the amber poison...)

  81. @hypovag - you do know that Amanda is the forks pimp. She talked me into it!! We all have a RL that would be sorely compromised if disparaging pics got out. We will all just need to make a pact of blog names only on pictures!

  82. @JJ- the Pantz are both wishey folks as well. i forsee the loudest rendetion of The Alabama Song on the way from the bar to the hotel only to be sidetracked by a night in jail!!!

    @Hypo Vag- Cuh-mahhhhn. C'moooooon. Nothing I can do or promise to do to you to sweeten the lure? ;)

    wv - chrac - exactly what hanging out with you bitches is like!

  83. My twi-buddy co-worker and I are coming in from WI on 9/29, staying in Seattle, and then driving to Forks on the 30th. Forks Motel reserved, plane tickets will be next.

    Doesn't matter either way on the blog thing. Between Google Reader & FB Updates...I'm sure to read both. :)

  84. I am going to Foooooorrrks!! And I'm rooming with TwilightCupcake *mwuah TC*!!

    Just from reading all the comments, I am now bringing my rosary and a Jesus candle.

    Hey TC, I feel like we need to do something to decorate our window? Maybe some mexican fiesta lights, a neon sign that says open, I dunno? A parrot?

    Can't wait to meet all you biyatchs!

  85. Haha, that's it, I think I have finally chosen my new name: ForksPimp. Expect to see comments under that name in the near future! Identity, consider yourself protected.

    Hypovag, consider yourself set to be harassed for the next four months! Unless, of course, you decide to come to Forks with us, baby!

    I need to stop commenting at work. I was just typing something up about transportation benefits, and mistyped "commuting" as "cummuting."



    And yes folks, I'm coming all the way from SWEDEN, because that's how fucking big this is! Oh, and I'm bringing little sis as well, so it'll be two swedish twitards there for ya. She is turning 30 in september, and I turn 35 in december, so it's kind of our birthdaypresent to ourselves.

    Forks Motel is booked, flights are bought and paid for, and the ride to Forks is taken care of. Yay!

  87. I would love to go but all my fun $$ is going towards my first trip abroad in September. Dammnit. Forget the fact that I literally made my first post here last week, I'd still totally go. I'm already bummed just thinking about missing out on it. We need a Twitarded benefactor.

    Jam out with your clams out ladies, I know you will have a unholy amount of fun!

  88. jealous, but my twitarded ass has been saving for a twicon before the fooooorrrks trip was brought up :( Maybe there will be another! Either way, I can't wait to hear about all the debauchery of Twitardia!

    WV: appic (i.e. "This Twilight Forks trip will be awesomely APPIC!")

  89. My daughter (Jessica R) surprised me for Mother's Day with the trip and we're going together. I think we should get some black tee shirts with the Twitarded logo and something about the dates in Forks as a momento of our first pilgrimage. FFFFOOOORRRRKKKKSSSS!!!!


    P.S. if you find the place is missing a fence post, Red Bella might be able to help you find it. That's all I'll say on the matter.

  91. I am dying to go!!!!! $$$ is a little tight right now (now -fuck- always), but I am doing my best... I am coming from the Chicagoland Area, so if there is anyone out there going from the area, give me a shout! AND if anyone is on the fence about going and would like a roommie to help keep the cost down let me know... soon, so I can make my maybe a Fuck yeah!

  92. I really want to go to FOOOOOORRRRRKKKKKKSSSSSS! I have an unused plane ticket that really wants me to use it, and I can try and convince my DH that this would be the best 30th birthday gift EVER. I am just not sure how to approach him on it. For some reason I think that he will just laugh at me if I blurt out "Do you mind taking off work and watching the kids so that I can fly across the country and meet some people that I have never met in person but I have been reading the blog for a year now and I am sure that they are lovely people?"

  93. My plus 1 is my daughter, but she will be 25 by October. She will try to drink me under the table! So . . . why am I bringing her again? She won't be a fit DD and I'll have to pay her freaking' way everywhere. Well. Maybe I didn't think this through enough. I'll bet she learns a few things about her MOM that may be TMI.

    Whatever. I just need to do this to give her that little push that will make her totally Twidarded like me! Maybe then she won't marry that Goober of a bf!

    So I guess that makes me the OLDEST in the group. My birthday is the week before we fly out and this is my present to myself!

    And don't you bitches expect me to be buying all YOUR drinks every day/night! I'M NOT MADE OUT OF MONEY!

  94. @hypoallergenic vagina you are so CUMMING!

    make those reservations now! just consider it Christmas, birthday, anniversary, etc. for the next year.

    you only live once bb!

    I told my dh that we are going to Washington for the weekend. He thinks that is D.C.! This is exactly what the secret checking account is for!

  95. @ casch = good to know there will be more than one mother/daughter team in the house (or motel) (or jail cell) (or whatever)!

  96. @ Ellie - a Brazillian wax goes a long way towards motivating your dh to see things your way

    . . . just saying' . . .

  97. @ellie. here's how you position your plea:

    find a moment when you are at the computer and he is in the room (all errm spontaneous-like)

    ellie: *making hmmm and hmph sounds*

    oh, t h a t ' s interesting...

    mr ellie: what's that?

    ellie: there's a big twilight fiction event in sept.

    *pause for effect*

    says here its going to be attended by the top fan fiction writers & bloggers in the US.


    ooh! they even have a guest signing by someone coming in from sweden!

    *stare up at ceiling, hand on chin, all dreamy like* (trust me, this shit works- do not doubt)

    mr ellie: well, i don --

    ellie: HEY! don't we still have that extra air ticket that's about to expire? (they DO expire ya know ;-0) what a great opportunity to expand my book knowledge and broaden my horizons!

    *jump up and throw arms around his neck*

    oh honey! it's only one quick weekend and you can have a bonding weekend with the kids!

    mr ellie: well, I --

    ellie: oh thank you! I love you for not being a controlling, oppressive, neanderthal like those other husbands! i am the luckiest wife in the world!

    *seal it with a big, long, hard wet kiss*

    vw: dentes

    i dentes know 'bout you, but i don't think mr. ellie will know what hit him.

  98. ps. yeah, a naked-bare twat will work too.

  99. loveuandiwishiwasgoingokloveylotskaythanxbye

  100. I'm IN!!! I'll be traveling with Laxplays, Cupcake Donna and 3 more from Houston - 6 in our travel group. I'm sorry to anyone sitting nearby us on the airplane as Laxplays and I are prepping to throw pretzels and M&Ms at anyone we feel like. Yep, I have 5 friends who are as insane as I am. We're counting on getting our own wing at the mental institution some day!

    Between now and the trip I'm saving my pennies for BOOZE AND BAIL and praying that I'll have enough...of course, perhaps I could just pimp out Laxplays to the Quileute boys if I need some spare change?

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  102. @AGirlintheSouth and Laxplays - YAY!! Can't wait to see you again.

    @Hypo-vag - that was just fucking priceless. And beyond.

  103. I'm totally going to Forks!!! JJ I bet u said that through gritted teeth about seeing us again.

    Rooming with @CupcakeDonna and @AGirlintheSouth. We have managed to persuade 4 other Houston chums to come with us (thatswhatshesaid), two who really couldn't give a shit about the twilight thang but who don't want to miss out on the fun.

    I am expecting a full bloody schedule of daily activities or I want my money back and your signed Bobby Long photo JJ!

    Cazza / @laxplays

  104. @Cazza - Um, the last time I saw you I ended up at an airport five hours later, drunk off my ass with the plastic tip of hookah stuck in my bra, WHICH I didn't notice until AFTER I passed through security.

    So I'm going out on a limb and saying I can't wait to see you bitches again.

    And no fucking way are you getting that bobby long photo back. Ever. Try it, I beg you... lol.

  105. I'm going to FFFOOORRRKKSSS!! Can't wait to meet everyone. RL has been killing me lately, and this trip is the light at the end of a very long tunnel.

  106. I would just bloody love to go on this crazy trip but unless I win the lottery, I'll be reading your blog from sunny NJ...

    So..... will you be makin your own Stars of Forks Map???

    Can just imagine you crazy clitsters on an open top double decker bus - Tour bus extraordinaires! Fuck sake! haha

  107. @hypyvag - HAHAHAHAHAHA That looks about right!

  108. I will most definately be there and am bringing a friend!

  109. I'm so going to FFFFOOOORRRKKKSSSS!!!!

    Booked my flight tonight. Cannot wait to see what mayhem Mistresses JJ, STY, and LKW have wrought on this poor, poor locale.

  110. I'll be in FFFOOORRRKKKSSS!!! with Mr. SV in tow.

  111. uh, so how many men is that now that are coming on this trip?

    is this a couples retreat now?

  112. In the words of Joe Dirt, "DANG!" Here's the sad thing, I want to go but can't until March of 2011. Why? Two reasons. 1: Three words; income tax refund and B: even though I live in Eastern Washington, I do NOT drive in the snow. So, I guess I will go in the Spring with my cardboard Edward. (do not judge me) Have fun my soul sista's. (I say that because I'm 35 and Twitarded along with ya.

  113. I'M COMING (and if any of you dare say "I don't want you to come" then you get your flasks confiscated ASAP.)

    Anyway, yes, I'm COMING! @VitR, we still on? I realize I 'm so busy with my own blog that I don't comment as much any longer & I don't know most of you. But I can't wait to meet some of the names that I've seen on here regularly since about this time last year.

    VitR, Kitty_E, I'll be flying in... Probably SW into Seattle? I MIGHT bring the hubs with & leave him in Seattle to sight see & visit some friends. He knows exactly my level of involvement in this Fandom & trust... he wants no part of the FORKS part of the trip :) THough he will readily listen to the details & laugh at us after. So VitR & KE I might have to call on your for ride sharing or caravan-ing, etc. Is that OK

    Anyway, I just wanted to say yep... I'm in. ComicCon AND Forks in one year... WOW. I'm of the excite!


  114. E keeps saying something about, "i'm gonna have to go all Bella and push my shield out around you..."

    the fuck is she talking about?!


  115. I am so there.... with my plus one! We wouldn't miss it for the world!! My plus one is *Princesspottymouth* AAHHH I can't wait!!!

  116. There's a pretty good chance me and my sissy-in law will be all up in Fizzzorks! :)

  117. I'm in.

    As in bent-over-the-back-of-the-couch-all-the-way in.

    My liver shall be in training all summer, and I look forward to the depravity that awaits...

  118. Wow, I counted about 90 people in these comments going to FFOORRKKSS!!! I bet it will be more than 100 when it is all said and done (and Oprah didn't think this was something to point out on her show about Twilight???)

    I can't wait to meet each and every one of you to say hi and to thank you each for being a part of this awesome place called Twitardia and to thank you for making me laugh every day :)

    LOVE IT!!!!

    JJ, STY and LKW YOU ROCK!!!!

  119. @Dangrdafne SERIOUSLY? 90 peeps? That is CRAZY!

  120. @ SwedenSara - I went back through the comments and made a mark for each person that said they were coming and their plus people (minusing out those that had multiple replies for the same people) and I got 90 but it is not an exact science of course :) I was just too curious LOL

  121. I am so there.... with my plus one! We wouldn't miss it for the world!! My plus one is *Princesspottymouth* AAHHH I can't wait!!!

  122. I'm going to FFFOOORRRKKSSS!! Can't wait to meet everyone. RL has been killing me lately, and this trip is the light at the end of a very long tunnel.


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