Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Dorks in Forks: Twitarded Goes to FOOOORRRKKS!!! Update

So it's been brought to our attention by multiple people that we're apparently expecting everyone just to kind of know what we're doing this year in Forks, when we're going, where we'll be staying, all that good plan-y stuff that I am not very good at - Twitarded minds want to know! I'm not the best planner... I'm a lists person, but my follow through sucks. Regardless, I'll try to at least give out the details on what we have so far so that people who need to know all the trivial shit like "When should I book my flight?" and "Do I need a contingency bail fund for one night or two?" will be able to check off a couple of things on their lists (show-offs).

The dealie as we know it at this point:

We'll be arriving in Seattle on Wednesday, September 28th. We're not sure where we are staying yet. Last year, we spent our night in Seattle at the Red Lion; it was nice and a good spot but I may have flipped the fuck out on the person at the front desk who wouldn't replace my room key when it didn't work because my name wasn't on the reservation. In my defense, the jet lag had kicked in BAD and I was thisclose to passing out on the floor in front of her. I was doing her a favor, really. Who wants a sprawled-out, catatonic Snarky cacking up the lobby? You're welcome, front desk person who was just doing their job and probably would have gotten fired if she'd let me in. I hope you have off that night if we stay there again this year. [Note: me "flipping the eff out" is limited to taking a very cross tone, possibly giving the stink-eye, and walking off in a huff.]

We went to there! And it was good.

We'll be driving to Forks on Thursday September 29th, and will be staying at the Forks Motel Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night (checking out on Sunday, October 2nd). The people at the Forks Motel were awesome and better still, they are happy to host us for a second year. Somehow. I guess they didn't know what kind of nonsense we got up to in 2010, after all... If you are reserving a room, let them know you are with Twitarded - last year they gave us bit of a discount, and I expect they'll probably be willing to hook us up again this year.

For anyone in town on Thursday night, we have no idea yet where we'll be trying to gather; I imagine we'll be doing a hostile takeover of whatever local dive bar we can stagger to from the motel (or the motel parking lot). As most of you are probably aware, the space where we did most of our gathering last year is closed, and it's not like the town of Forks is overflowing with spots able to host a group our size (read: there are virtually none unless we feel like tailgating in the school parking lot).

Tailgating in my parking lot? I'll allow it. Grudgingly.

Friday and Saturday night, we'll be taking over the Forks Elks Lodge and scaring the bejeebus out of some of the elder Elk locals (it's what we do best, really). There will be an admission fee/cover both nights, as we'll have to pay for both the space and any entertainment/catering we have on premises. It will be as inexpensive as we can possibly make it. We're not looking to profit on this venture, but none of us have Robsten money. We'll be buying tickets too, and I can pretty much guarantee that we'll be going more out of pocket for random odds and ends than anyone else present (unless you're bringing lots of hookers and blow) but it will be all worth it, trust me.

We are toying with the idea of a prom theme or vampire theme of Vampire Prom theme one of the two nights - what do you think??? Too corny? Or so dang corny it just might work???

We will likely try to have at least one daytime get-together (possibly at one of the beaches?) for anyone who want to meet up, and we're working on some designated Twitarded-friendly Forks Tours. Mostly because I still feel a little sorry for the two hapless German tourists who inadvertently found themselves on the short bus with me, JJ, LKW, Myg, and a bunch of other die-hard Twitards. They're probably still scarred. Entschuldigung, meine freunde. Whatever, it was a blast.

Looks like an awesome place for a box lunch! No boardwalk here, people...

...you just have to watch out for the bodies that have washed up on shore.

Honestly, as was the case last year, this trip will be what we all make of it - come ready to make new friends and put faces to the online besties you already spill your dirtiest secrets to in the privacy of the interwebs. This was the friendliest, bawdiest, most welcoming and genuinely nuts-in-a-really-good-way group of people I have ever had the pleasure of spending a long weekend with, and we hope you'll be there this year to get your fix of Twitardy goodness. You can connect with people to arrange carpools, room shares at the motel, whatevs - HERE in the Forum. The trip last year had us all on a high, and while it was a bit of a let-down when we all had to go back to the real world, we were all better for having participated in - and created! - a peak experience (I forget who told me this term last year when we were all going on and on about the trip after our return last October, but feel free to take credit in the comments if it was you).

Here's a video that GusGus took last year on our first night in town - it's mostly just a garble of whooping,  hooting, and hollering with some gleeful profanity mixed in and a game of Mini-Edward Jenga for good measure. I can't begin to name everyone in here, but you'll see appearances by Laxplays, Derry Down, Double Dippin, Malicious Mandy, Dangrdafne, All Twied Up (and her rack), Red Bella, Miss Tejota, me, JJ (and her allergies), Latchkey Wife, Twired Jen, 17 Forever Lisa, TwiLove Sue, Myg, Purple Whipped, Sloppy Seconds, Starlit Violets, Musing Bella, Girl in the South, Micki Martini, and...well, I apologize for all the people I know I left out and for the people who might not have been there who I mentioned. Please give yourself shout-outs in the comments! I'll work on my poor name recall this year, I swear (also, I'll be bringing a bigger, wider Sharpie for name tags - think 30-point font, people!). I'll even bring the book I bought to help me remember names. It's very clever. I just have to find it...

In the meantime - cheers!

P.S. If you're joining this Twitardy show and will be meeting us in Seattle/Forks, please SIGN UP HERE (if you haven't already done so). We'll provide updates via email as soon as we get them (and promise not to spam you or sell your contact info, mostly because we don't know how).


  1. Sounds like you guys are going to have an absolute BLAST!

    As many of you know I was unable to take time off work in September and my fabulous trip to the United States is taking place in August instead (17 days to go! Squee!). I will be going to Forks, about six weeks before you guys. I'll pre-warn the locals. ;-)

    As I mentioned in the comments from a previous Twitarded post last week, I have decided to leave gifts in Forks for my Twitard besties. If you'd like one, please head to my blog, FOLLOW IT, and leave a comment on this post:


    Thanks to @Jaymes805 for being my gift-bitch, she'll be handing out the loot.

    Have an awesome time dudes! And for those not going, the pity party will be on twitter and I'm there!

    Amy :)

  2. Just watched the vid. Can I please make a tiny suggestion? (IDK if this is even feasible...)

    When you have video/photos from this upcoming trip, would it be possible for Gus/someone to edit in people's twi-names on screen? So that those of us playing at home can know who is who, because it's impossible to read name stickers online. Just a thought :)

  3. Good times, Twitards, good times. I can't believe we will all be back together in a couple months. I better start refining my Mini E jenga skills and conditioning my liver.

  4. Soooo weird, I knew it was my hand when I was talking to JJ in the beginning of the video!! I love that DangrDonna got in there too. I cannot wait to go this year.

    If you anyone is still on the fence, just do it!!

  5. That video made me so very very happy....as soon as I heard the mindless chatter, squealing and laughter of all the women a HUGE smile broke out on my face.

    I can NOT wait to see all you ladies again. Is summer over yet?

  6. Love the squeeeees! I missed Thurs, but was there Fri, Sat & left Sun.

    @STY, good idea to bring a note pad to write people names in. I know someone did that, who was it? I do remember signing the FS Edward for the gal who was going to Australia.

    @TwiKiwi50, some people requested not to be video taped by the color of the name tags, so might have to get permission on the names.

    @PurpleWhipped & Toefunny , will have to meet you!
    @Dangrdafne, will have to give you a hug!

  7. OH, and if you go to the HOH(forest) be prepared to pay to get in, by the car load. Last time it was $15. If you keep your receipt they gave you, I think, another few days pass to come back? I don't remember. Someone remember?

  8. Who knew a hilarious video could choke me up. Gah! Such a fun night, AND that was just the kick off of many nights to come. I only caught a glimpse of the back of my head sitting at the table in the back with Lisa, Sue & Margaret...

    The Edward Jenga was hysterial! I remember them laughing their asses off at that moment and wondered what was going on.

    Crazy to think that was 9-30-10 and I'm getting married 9-30-11. Wow..maybe it was meant to be.

    Thanks for sharing STY. I wish I could go more than anything. I tear up just thinking of missing out on it this year. Please post more vids if you can. It's so fun to see and absolute encouragement for anyone that's thinking about going.

    Love ya!

    xo J

  9. Oh, this has post has so come at the right time! Thought for a while on Sunday that I wasn't going to be able to come because hubs was being an arse, but - yay! - I talked him round - and better still, if my big sis can get the leave from work, she's going to come too!

    See ya in September bitches!

  10. Going on last year's Forks trip was truly one of the best decisions I ever made and I'm so bummed that I can't do it again this year. Coincidentally, I was feeling Forks nostalgic tonight and posted the "11 things I learned on the Twitarded Trip to FOOOORRRKKS" over at www.twibite.blogspot.com , so come by and say hello! If you're still not sure whether to go or not, take my advice and DO IT! XOXO

  11. I don't know who any of you are. You are all a bunch of crazies who should be locked up for a very, very, very long time. Gah, who am I kidding.....

    Heard my squeal before I saw myself rolling on the chair. Would love to know what we were talking about at the time.

    Anyhow, see you In Fooorkkkss in September!

    Love from the south of France,


  12. God save the Elks!

    There was a German couple in our tour group on Sunday also!! WTF?? They didn't know much about Twilight. Wonder how they wound up there?

    wv: suber
    We had a suber time last year.
    [Not to be confused with sober!]

  13. {Claps hands} IM in Seattle on the 28th too. My flight is nine hours so Im flying up Wednesday and will stay in town {see the space needle?) The morn of the 29then I will be trekking to Ffffoooorrrkkkkssssssss in the morning and after some sleep.

    Im so excited.

    According to the gov website

    Its $15.00 per car to get into the forest. Should I bring my long red cape? I watched the Cathy Hardwick -Amanda Sigfied and almost Edward (Shiloh) movie recently

  14. @TwiLoveSue - great post! Loved it!

    @TheRugbyMom - I don't know if the Elks Lodge knows what they are getting themselves into, lol.

    Watching that video made me so nostalgic and I can't wait for this year!!

  15. @TwiKiwi - I am SO sorry we're going to miss you but that's a super sweet idea! I love it!

  16. I AM SUPER DUPER EXCITED!!!! Oh man I can't wait!!

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  18. Going to FORKS with you whores was seriously a life-altering experience and I CANNOT WAIT to see you all again. Bringing the Unicorn Papa this time around and I wish you guys could know how adorable he's being about it, he's so excited to meet you all. Finally, someplace he can wear his "Alice is a VILF" shirt around people who will get it. ;-)

    BE not afriad people....COME.

    (In my best Edward voice:


    OhmyGod, I think I just came up with a badass t-shirt slogan.


  19. Okay, so I JUST got my shit together & watched the vid.


    I cry because we are seriously the coolest bitches on the planet and I love us.

    Together, we are the very definition of "the sum is greater than the whole."

    And yes, I'm acutley aware that JJ is probably twisting that shit into "the cum is greater than the hole."

    Saw my fat arse with amaretto & coke in hand right behind Micki_Martini (whose hubs is a cutie...met him in Chicago last week) and why the camera finally fell upon Myg, I started sobbing.

    Because I love you guys and I'm so blessed to have found you and all that sappy shit. KWIM?!?


  20. Just watched the vid and as if I wasn't already excited enough! Is it September yet?!


    I'm going to keep asking this until someone answers it. Why do you guys keep saying that this is the last time we're going?

  22. @MyAfterCar - We'll likely get together again. Probably. But it probably won't be in Forks. It's a swell town & all and it's amazing fun to be in
    Twilight Mecca, but like most good pilgrims, even WE don't feel compelled to return EVERY year - lol... We'd likely pick another location if we were going to get together again in the future.

  23. OOOOoooo!!! Yeah! Next time we should totally pack up & go to that island they used for Isle Esme. LOL! Whaaaa??

    Too expensive?? ;-)

  24. I can't wait to see everyone again! I just had wisdom teeth surgery yesterday and I am high, and sore and swollenand in pretty much HELL - but this video brightened my day and reminded me how exciting it will be to go to Forks again (and to stay more than just two days this time yay!)

  25. (*subliminal whisper to STY and JJ*)

    You want to go on Twitarded trip to Las Vegas in 2012...

  26. GAH! I'm all teary and laughy at the GusGus vid! Look! THERE'S ME! Thanks for rekindling the flame (again) for FOORRKKSS!! Not that it takes much. I've been so bogged with wedding planning that I keep forgetting to plan for this trip, too! Shame, shame, shame.

    I can't believe the fun we had, and I can't believe we're going to do it all again. Fan-fucking-tastic. This made my day.

  27. First of all, Edward Jenga FTMFW!! I absolutely love the startled looks on all of your faces when Laxplays lets out that banshee shriek of hers. Priceless!!

  28. @TwiloveSue I'm with you in the Vegas trip! Mainly because I'm local and have the police department in the back of my pocket...okay more like one of them.

    I will start a fund for our bail.

  29. @STY Thanks :) I don't care where we go but the thought that this might be the last Twitarded-y reunion kinda breaks my heart a little. So, anywhere is fine, but I don't want this to be our last rodeo together!

  30. I'm the one in turquoise cackling at the stacking edwards :) with miss purple whipped & miss sloppy seconds

    do you think we were having a good time? obviously!

    -caitlin aka cetacean34

  31. Hahahahaha
    Im not sure how I posted under my word verification BOTARR??

  32. I can hardly wait. Trying to get my sewing room put back together to have some goodies made up for this year. Last year was such fun!

    @Mama Cougar Papa Cougar is coming this year! Can't wait to see you two again!

  33. Video is great, looks like you had a great time and will have a great time again. Suggestion for next year - you need somewhere wet and green to recreate the "near constant cover of rain" vibe, so where not have the 2012 meet in Ireland?!!!
    ps this is not a biased suggestion at all :)

  34. One question... how on earth will we drunk-walk home from the Elks Lodge? Noooooooooooo! We need to hire a shuttle bus. Some 17 yr old kid will work for minimum wage just to cart us back and forth, right?

    v/w: plogies. My plogies for the gratuitous boobs in that video. NOT. ;)

  35. @alltwiedup - we are actually working on the drunk bus - lol. not sure if it's do-able, but it's probably more economical than all of us getting a ride home (with a pit-stop) from Charlie - lol...

  36. FFFFFOOOOOOOORRRRRRKKKKKKSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  37. My friend Amber and I were going to come this year, but NOOOO, we both had to go and get knocked up! OH well, there's always next year...right?

  38. Some of you may or may not know, a few members of The Saga Mafia and myself were just in Forks. We stayed in the Forks Motel in room 112. We're hoping Musing Bella gets that room, but if she doesn't one of you Twitards MUST! We left a little limerick scavenger hunt there for you. I'll post about it soon on Twilight Saga Palooza.


  39. Have fun in Forks too! (I swear I'm not drunk)


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