Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Vagina Racists Totally Suck

There are so many things we women do to keep up with societal standards of beauty. We shave and pluck our bodies, we straighten/curl/cut/whatever our hair and buy a gazillion cosmetic products yearly (quote from the "close-enough-statistics-of-Jenny-Jerkface).

And don't even get me started on how many women out there have poor body image because the fashion industry has somehow elevated a human/praying-mantis body type to "supreme beauty" status.

Now, apparently, there is a product floating around in India what will cure yet another one of our hideous womanly issues.

A brown vagina.



WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK, YOU VAGINA RACISTS!?!?!?

I mean, really? REALLY??? Even the color of our love petals are up for scrutiny now???

This article says it more articulately than I can, mainly because when I read that this product actually exists I almost punched my computer in disgust. 

Not only is this dangerously suggesting that darker skin is undesirable, it's just... fucking stupid. WHO THE FUCK CARES? It's a love-hole, it should be goddamn pretty because it gives pleasure and births babies and does all that shit a vagina does regardless of what color it is.

I'm going to go our on a limb and say a guy invented this product. And he's obviously never taken a gander at the sad, hairy, wrinkly little sack suspended between his legs because if he did, he wouldn't say shit about the color of our hoohas.

Fuck that shit.

41 comments:

  1. Wrong in so many ways. Aack.

    Saw an episode of My Stange Addiction where this girl with absolutely lovely dark skin was addicted to skin bleaching cream. Who invents this garbage?

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  2. Seriously?! I have no words. The fact that someone thought up, developed, and marketed this shit baffles me. And the sad fact that there are women who will believe the marketing and buy it is even worse. (Ok, I had a few words.)

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  3. OH, THOSE BOTHERSOME VAGINAS. Why aren't they more sparkly-sani-clean? Why don't they smell like lavender and fresh, spring-spangled dewy meadows? Why aren't they bright-spandy-new pink, like adorable little carnations? OH, those bothersome vaginas.

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    Replies
    1. Wait, yours doesn't smell like lavender? Or like blooming poppies on a field of rainbows?? Wow.

      Meh, mine doesn't either. DAMN THOSE VAGINAS!!! DAAAAAAAAMN THEM!!!!

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  4. Holy shit - I'm stunned by this stupidity. I'm with JJ - no vag in the world is uglier than a hairy nut sack. Ugh.

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    1. And even if it is an ugly little shriveled nutsack, I would still never ask him to bleach it.

      Don't get me wrong, I'm strictly dickly but the nutsack? Blech.

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    2. Weeping over here! Strictly dicky....

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  5. I have only one word to say....#twatacide

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  6. Thank god! I've been bleaching my asshole for so long that I have a severe mismatch going on.

    Actually, I've scarcely used a mirror enough to even locate precisely where pee comes out, let alone form an opinion/complex about the hue of my vulva. If your home pornos are making you see too much and feel squeemish about your fleshtones, try changing the lighting.

    That said, be sure that if my travels take me to India, I'm buying this product. It will be a great addition to my collection of bizarre products (e.g. Fancy Man Sex Soap)whose directions are usually heavy on the engrish.

    @ double_dippin- liking "twatacide"

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    Replies
    1. I love you.

      Also, if you get this product I will pay you handsomely in sex toys or something equally awkward if you buy me one too.

      Delete
    2. It'll only be awkward if said toys are heavily used. Even then, I can probably get over it.

      **leaves to start booking travel to India**

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    3. I was wondering when the anus bleaching would come into play here! It was only a matter of time...

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  7. I bet Michael Jackson would've bought this if he'd had a vagina...

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  8. I think her vag was so brown because she was always placing her keys down her snatch. Use your pocket and problem solved!

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  9. I wonder if I can get this online?!?! I just got the new Tampax "Radiant" tampons...Now I just need a spider named Charlotte to write superlatives in a web over my head. My panooch is a total showboater.

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  10. :Puts on war paint, stands on the desk and waves "COOCHIE FREEDOM" flag:

    wtf .... this is cray cray.

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  11. To quote Tosh.O, this sounds like "coochie carnage"! And those are the whitest Indian folk I've ever seen. But will it make your vageen sparkle though? Hmmmm....

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  12. You said it JJ!! Can I get an AMEN?!

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  13. Ummmm.....ummmm....I just....ummmm....not sure what to say about this post. Ewww comes to mind pretty quickly. I think I'll spend the rest of today trying to un-know this information. Thanks, JJ! *sticks fingers in ears while rocking back and forth*

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  14. Dear GAWD the video that came up after this one?! Looks horrifying!!

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  15. I wish my vagina was purple. I'm going to create vagina dye so we can make our vaginas whatever color we want. Who gives a flying fuck what color it is. It's usually fucking dark when someone's all up in mine!!

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    Replies
    1. Ya know, I hadn't thought about colour options. Purple would be nice, maybe even blue? Maybe a glow in the dark option would be good too!

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    2. Ohhhhhh! Blue. Totally blue. How about like two tone or tie dyed. Lol

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    3. Oh my goodness - glow in the dark!!! What a great idea! Then he can never miss or get lost LOL!!!!

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  16. ...If I was a snatch snacker, I would rather have one that tasted like snatch than one that tasted like bleach. JS.

    This is horrible. Is nothing sacred? *pfft...not here* But seriously. What kind of world do we live in? Does the sex talk with your daughter now require full disclosure on beef curtain tints?

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    Replies
    1. ILY. Could you imagine your daughter coming to you and being totally distraught because her the tint of her lady bits isn't "pretty"?

      If any guy ever told me my twat wasn't up to par, color-wise, I'd laugh and laugh and laugh. Because nothing is as creepy as a set a nuts.

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  17. Seriously? I was just complaining about the sad sad state of my lady parts!!!! AFter 3 kids delivered vaginally and years and years of hard sex, what the fuck is it supposed to look like? a glistening pink butterfly? fuck off!

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  18. Guys will bone anything from fruit to picnic tables. I doubt they care about the color of a vag, they're just happy to not be doing it by themselves! Brown, yellow, white, and pink twats unite! Be proud of yourselves! Or be like me, and just don't give a shit what people think.

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    Replies
    1. So, so true. Men don't care if your twat is pink, white, brown or orange with purple spots, otherwise those skanks from Jersey Shore would never get laid. Amen, sister!

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    2. LMFAO at the "fruit to picnic tables"!! So true.

      Unfortunately, there are going to be a lot of women out there they could see this commercial and feel that they are somehow now inadequate because of their "darker" lady bits. Shit like that pisses me off.

      Delete
  19. Did you people not realize how that woman's life was miserable with a brown vag? Such sadness and longing caused by having her hooha be the wrong colour. Did you people not see her misery??? Her fantastic man couldn't even look at her!!!!!!!

    Listen, her problem was totally solved with that magic, wonderful wash! It's clearly an amazing product. He loved her after that! Her vag now smells like a fresh sprinkling of rose petals! How awesome is that? Their relationship was saved and totally amazing after she started using that shit!

    I mean, if it can do all that - what else can it do for that woman??

    I fear for humanity.

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    Replies
    1. I love everything about this comment.

      Lately, I feel like women are being forced a few steps back (at least in the US). This just adds fuel to my fire.

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    2. I think women are being forced back a few steps these days. It isn't limited to the US though. Here's what was making headlines here this week. http://www.thestar.com/news/article/1162357--female-feticide-is-it-happening-in-ontario?bn=1 I think the dialogue is just a bit more open in the States. It's everywhere. Sadly.

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  20. ain't that the truth funny, funny blog today

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  21. That last paragraph made me laugh to tears. Thanks. I needed that. And it is TRUE. Double standards piss me off.

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  22. what about the nips???? I might want pinker ones....JS

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  23. *Mouth Agape* Well said JJ, well said.

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  24. This reminds me of a show I saw on women that get labioplasty, although that's a little more extreme.

    I love the dude who commented on that article you linked. Lol! "Bring back the 70's!!". Hahaha!

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