True Fact #1 - Yes, we're going back to the great state of Washington in October, 2020 (unless they catch wind of this and ban us all from state line).
True Fact #2 - Some of you may have already heard of a date. If you have, it may be wrong. We wouldn't be us if we didn't royally fuck this up from the jump.
True Fact #3 - It took me and Snarkier Than You like 20 minutes to figure out how to log into Blogger, and another 20 minutes of us trying to remember how the fuck to do this. Thus, bare bones post, my lovely ladies. Also, wine.
Here is all the information we have at this point:
We will be landing in the beautiful state of Washington on Thursday, October 22nd. We will be leaving the state (unless forcibly removed earlier) on Monday, October 26th.
We will not be staying in Forks.
We're not sure yet where we'll be staying.
Ladies (and perhaps the occasional gent) - this is in the VERY early stages of planning. We wish we could give you more, but we're getting older and we have to go bed soon. Consider this post a "To Be Continued".
Our question to you -- WHO WANTS TO GO?? Please leave a comment if you're seriously interested in joining us.
We know that some of you have been getting together in that area for years and that warms our cold, dark hearts. Also? Probably gonna need your help if you're willing to give it.
We'll be in touch and feel free to share this post because we actually don't know how to anymore.
Be safe.
xoxo,
Jenny Jerkface, Snarkier Than You, and the rest of Twitarded.
P.S. - Special, big huge thanks to Dangr Dafne. SERIOUSLY. She is as tenacious as she is absolutely amazing.
Back in late 2008, I came across a copy of Entertainment Weekly with some guy on the cover. I didn't know who he was or what landed him there, but I knew he was damn easy on the eyes even with that popped collar and the big poofy hair. There was just something pleasantly unnerving about that gaze...
First Sight. Well HELLOOOOOOOOOOOO there. You make me feel funny.
Since then...well...you all know how I happily went down the rabbit hole, gleefully clapping my hands and taking as many people along with me as possible. These days - honestly? I don't give it all much thought. Don't get me wrong: it was a super-special, remarkably amazing time in my life and I am always thankful for everything that came out if it. THAT I think of often. I regret [almost] nothing. And I'm going to come right out and say (as if you all didn't already know...) that there's been a lot - a LOT - of blatant, shameless objectification over the years. We've written countless words about this man's hands, his fingers, his eyes, his mouth, his abs (or lack thereof - we didn't even care that they were mostly only there through the grace of a makeup artist), and his general hotness. But perhaps more than anything, we fixated on his hair. That HAIR!
OK, maybe not more than his smexy-times stare, but that mane of hair was a BIG part of the package.
We liked it in Twilight...
...and when he was promoting Twilight...
Rome Rob was nearly the death of me!
Yeah, I know he was under some contractual obligation or something to not cut it all off at this point and I DON'T CARE! Viva la lawyers and whoever else made this possible!
And when he finally did THIS -
...somehow we survived. Because let's face it: while I would have happily glued every strand back on - individually! - if given the chance, he was still blazingly hot and there's plenty of room in fanfic for stubble.
Long, short, in between - it. didn't. matter.
Kinda short? Woo hoo!
Long enough to make me want to tug it? Yes please!
Running his hands through it constantly? ;jbvuhsgs;esr;jbhfd...
We even kept a stiff upper lip and dealt with hats and beanies and various hoods and headgear.
...although I did pout when he showed up at the Times Talk we attended covering up that mane.
In short (well, not so short, but admit it - you liked looking at all those photos), the man has always had good hair.
So the other day when Latchkey Wife sent me a link that had the words "so wtf is up with robert pattinsons hair" in it, I was...concerned. I clicked tentatively, hoping for the best. I mean, how bad could it be??? IT WAS WORSE.
Well this is odd but ooookaaaay...
Wait--what the...?!
JMFHF ROBERT PATTINSON HAS A LANDING STRIP ON THE BACK OF HIS HEAD.
what. the. actual. fuck. Did he lose a bet??? WHY is he lady-scaping the back of his head?! Is his hairstylist secretly VERY HARDCORE Team Jacob and still incredibly bitter? Did his girlfriend issue some sort of "I will if you will" ultimatum and this was his clever way of complying? Does he not know that whoever gave him this bowl cut (and I assume they have since went into hiding) left a patch? As if the "bowl & buzz" wasn't enough?. Whatever - I DON'T LIKE IT. I would prefer that fucked up thing he had on his head at ComicCon that one year, even if it had nothing to do with a movie role.
Even this is better. THIS.
I think something in me died a little when I saw these pics, or maybe was finally brought back down to Earth. I don't know why it irked me so much; I acknowledge that it's strange that I would give a crap or have an opinion in the first place. OK, actually,
I kinda DO know why it made me rant: I am not bothered that he cut his hair; I am bothered that he is someone who would cut his hair like THAT. I'm bothered because I don't think I would like someone who thought
this haircut was a good idea. There. I said it. So congratulations,
Robert Pattinson, on FINALLY coming up with a way to get at least one of the middle-aged weirdos who was inexplicably spellbound by you to throw up her hands in bewilderment.
*clap.*
*clap.*
*clap.*
*ahem* I will, of course, allow myself some fond reminiscing...
So what do YOU think??? Lay it on me in the comments, people.
Hello, ladies (and the occasional gent)! You're all looking lovely this evening. I thought it was high time we do another beauty post. I haven't been seventeen in...a while and my body is none too pleased with it. Long gone are the days where I could eat Taco Bell without grave repercussions. My knees and ankles are better weather forecasters than a meteorologist. Welcome to a world where you can throw out you back opening a jar of applesauce. Thinking about collapsing into bed without removing my makeup? Better be prepared to have a face transplant in the morning. I have vague memories of some decrepit old people trying to warn me about this when I was a nubile young thing. It's worth noting that I am now older than those decrepit old people. But I digress...
Some time ago, I fell down the rabbit hole of Pinterest. I have a touch of CDO
—it's like OCD, but with the letters in alphabetical order as God intended. I mean, this website is basically the internet sorted into an orderly fashion. How is that not the best thing ever? Like a veritable Ponce de Leon, I've been scouring the web for the Fountain of Youth. My face has been looking older and more tired lately, and I refuse to accept that it's because I'm older and more tired. I've seen quite a few articles and blog posts extoling the virtues of coconut oil as a cleanser. This defies all logic since I'm trying to REMOVE the oil from my face. Well, I got desperate enough to try it, and I fully expected to have to call in the crew who cleaned up after the Exxon Valdez spill to mop up my skin.
SPOILER ALERT: Nothing but good things happened. All I did was smear it on my skin and wipe it off with a damp cloth. That's it. BAM. I've always had these little bumpy things on my face (probably not the dermatological term) that I'm sure no one else can see, but I've spent a lot of time and money trying to exfoliate them out of existence. After one time of using the oil, they were gone. Apparently all I needed to do was fill up my pores with good oil and my problem was solved. My skin tone has evened out. I thought I had rosacea for the longest time (Thanks, drug company commercials.), but now my skin is just a vampirac white. I have had ZERO breakouts, which is a damn miracle all by itself. Can I just take a moment to say how unfair it is to battle wrinkles AND acne at the same time? Pick a struggle, skin.
I really don't know what to do with myself since my skin maintenance routine has gone from six steps down to one. I'm recommending it to all of my friends and neighbors. Most of them have been receptive, but are few were all "How did you get in my house again? I thought I changed the locks." It might be overly dramatic to call this a miracle cure, but I can tell you five cents worth of coconut oil has replaced eye makeup remover, cleanser, exfoliant, a mask, moisturizer, and eye cream. I might try filling the swimming pool with it next, Cocoon style.
It's a good thing that Mr. Snarky and I don't go all nuts celebrating Valentine's Day (too many years in the restaurant biz, among other things? Eh - we're not all that romantic...), because I know exactly where I plan on spending V-Day 2015:
To be honest, my feelings on this whole FSoG movie thing generally range from ambivalent to apathetic (I had zero thoughts on casting before the fact - aside from the impossible obvious; I was "meh" on their choices after...), but I have to admit that Jamie Dornan has a happenin' smexy-times stare. UNF. Also? RRoP FTMFW!
I will NOT go stand for hours on a sidewalk in NYC to see this opening night. BUT, I would totally be down with filling a small-ish theater (preferably one within cab distance that serves booze) with like-minded Twitards for one night... Will you be my Valentine?
Do you guys read Twilight fan fiction anymore? Because I don't (confession: I never read a lot of fic in the first place, if you can believe that). But that said, that purveyor of all things worthy in the fandom, LeJadaLulu was going insane for a fic a month or so ago and I couldn't help but notice. Not when all my other fandom folks on Twitter were going insane for it. Finally, my curiosity got the best of me and I'm telling you guys, I devoured this fic. Couldn't wait for updates, would drop everything to read them. You're lucky - I'm not even telling you about this until now, when it's complete!
Consequence of Miracles is an angsty read but not traumatic, in that it's not graphic in any way and it's not gratuitous, if you know what I mean. It does tackle a Very Difficult Subject, and let me tell you, this would be the last thing I'd ever put on my TBR list, knowing what it was about but not knowing the story itself. I like reading happy shit, not dramatic stories. But it was handled incredibly well, and the story is actually told through Bella's eyes and manages to be her story, even though the dark, difficult stuff happens to Edward (I'm trying to not be spoiler-y, but give fair warning that the story could possibly be a trigger for some folks). If you're looking for a different kind of Twilight fic, or are just curious, I encourage you to take a look. I feel like it was an incredibly sensitive and hopeful treatment of a painful subject and I've never read a fic quite like it. I even legitimately cried after one chapter and I don't think I've ever done that reading a fic!
Speaking of minor miracles, guess what? I HAVE AN AGENT, YOU GUYS. I wrote something that isn't fic!
It's called LOUD IS HOW I LOVE YOU and it's a smutty, funny romance about indie rock kids in the 90s. I sent it out to a bunch of agents and snagged representation by Brooks Sherman at the Bent Agency and I couldn't be more excited. And nauseated. For a moment, just imagine me having a conversation with this nice man, a literary agent, who is quite lovely but still mostly a perfect stranger, about the possibility of pitching a follow-up book with three-way sex in it. This is my life now. And while it's awkward, it also happens to be awesome.
Anyway, LOUD is out on submission with some publishers and now I wait to see if anyone wants to actually buy it and publish it, so my smutty words can be out there in the actual world.
HOLY SHIT.
Or, maybe more appropriate in this circumstance: Jesus MotherFucking Hamster Fucker.
My new pen name is Mercy Brown. I picked it because I wanted something that would be a statement about where I come from as a writer, and that's right here with all of you. Plus, Mercy is just sexier than Mygdala (but you guys, please keep calling me Myg or I will be totally confused).
Are you there, blog? It's me, Snarkier Than You...
I've been fixin' to post something here since about three days after my last post (give or take), which means that even by my mighty Herculean abilities to procrastinate like no other human on the planet, this has been a long time coming. I've
spent an enormous amount of time since we stopped posting thinking about
what to write and how to write it. I still have notes - reasonably handy - for the review of Breaking Dawn II that we never did, among other things, but after so much time had passed my brain
always circled back to "Welp, you blew it and it's too late now."
I feel like there was an epic fail in not giving this blog a proper
sendoff that would have reflected the love and meaning that we put into it
and got out of it over the years, and that's mostly what's kept me
from writing anything at all. Because it deserved a full-on party with a
21-gun salute, a brass band, possibly fire and dragon eggs, and we gave
you something more in line with an unceremonious backyard burial of a hamster in a shoebox or
the flushing a goldfish... Perhaps even worse - we just let it peter out. Anyway, you deserved better. I know that. But you knew that we were the slowest and most unreliable bloggers when you
started hanging out with us, remember? The Twi-blogger equivalent of the
irresistible "bad boy with a heart of gold"??? Or something like that? Maybe? *wink-wink*
I think at some point it seemed like there was no way I could just sneak back in and write something - anything - to fill the space; it would have needed to be AWESOME. Hopefully you have figured out at this point that I am keeping expectations suitably low. My drafts over the years for writing this look like the beginning of Eclipse, only more contrite and without the cutesy font -
Dean Twitards, I'm sorry... We suck...what did you expect?! Fuck this shit I don't know how to do this anymore...
At some point, I realized that part of the problem was that I wasn't willing to pen a farewell because I refuse to let it be over and done. But I also realized something else somewhere along the way: it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if I couldn't (or didn't) produce some epic send-off or reintroduction or whatever I am considering this whole thing at this point. It doesn't matter if this is not the best thing I have ever written or the worst or even if there is nobody out there left to read it. I need this. I miss this. This is my outlet. The gaping hole in my heart? Yeah ok I know you all see what I am doing here... Let's say it's a small tear - not so much a gaping hole as a yearning and a small-ish but very persistent and troublesome spot that will. not. be. ignored. Thinking about writing here has been with me like an iffy tooth that you try to pretend isn't bothering you but that your tongue seems to gravitate towards and worry despite your best efforts to do anything else.
I know that the community has evolved and moved on, but Twitarded has always felt like home to me, and dammit, I'm staying even if it doesn't really make much sense at all (and very possibly dragging Jenny Jerkface, Latchkey Wife, and Myg along with me if I can talk them into it for some not-regularly-scheduled posts about who knows what). I'm rusty and can't promise anything will be particularly entertaining... But before I think about it too much and wait another couple of years before releasing the finger that is twitching tentatively over the "Publish" button, I'd better PTMFS.
P.S. Speaking of comebacks, Hellllllooooooooooooooooooo there, Cannes Rob!
WTF is he doing with his sleeve and why can't I stop staring at it? Because UNGF.
That's right, the original Ficward, Beautiful Bastard, is here! In a real, live legal book that you can go buy and hold in your hands and everything! In fact, you should go buy it right now!
Or, walk right into your local book store and buy it there!
Seriously, folks, back in 2010 when I first got to the Twilight fandom, I never would have fathomed the day when all these fan fiction stories would be making actual paid writers out of fic authors. But it happened. Boy, did it happen. And now, here we are with our very own Beautiful Bastard out in stores today.
I think many of you reading this have read the original fic The Office by Tby789, back when it was around. For those of you who haven't read it and are curious about Beautiful Bastard, I can sum it up like this:
A strong young woman works for a gorgeous asshole at a big corporate firm. They can't stand each other, but they are desperately attracted to one another. A lot of fucking happens, but not just your run-of-the-mill wanky, boring amateurish fucking. Oh no, no, no.
Think of it this way--have you ever been super pissed off at your significant other, and then you get into a wicked argument and in the middle of it think, "God damn, he (or she, as the case may be,) is so hot when he's angry?" And then you end up having sex on the kitchen table, in spite of how pissed off you are? And then when it's over, you're all, "Damn, I can't believe I just had sex with you, you bastard--I'm still pissed off that you put the potato masher in the wrong drawer. You don't live here all by yourself, you know."
Wait, that doesn't happen to you? It's just me? Hmm.
Well, it doesn't matter, because Beautiful Bastard is much hotter than that, and there are no potato mashers involved. Anywhere.
This object does not appear anywhere in Beautiful Bastard.
Lots of writers write sex scenes. Fic writers write lemons. We all love a good lemon, right? Well, the thing that made Christina and Lauren such well-loved authors of fic is that those two can REALLY write sex scenes. And believe it or not, all that fantasy-indulging sex has a purpose--a point. Not just to titillate you, dear readers. There's a story here, between two strong-willed characters who find each other, fuck each other, and come to love each other in spite of themselves. But this ain't no schmaltzy two-bit romance, either. It's smart. It's funny. It indulges all the right emotional fantasies as well as the sexual ones. It's tongue-in-cheek, and it's tongue in other better places as well.
What I'm saying is, it's all that and a trip to the La Perla dressing room.
For those of you who have read The Office, let me tell you, Beautiful Bastard does a masterful job of keeping the spirit of The Office alive and well, yet it also updates and polishes it in ways that you'll definitely appreciate. It's been revised so there are plenty of new things to discover. The writing is as smart as ever and it's still funny. There are parts of this where you're going to literally LOL right before you gasp at how smutty something is, so don't read it at work. Okay, you can read it at work if you work from home or in the adult industry.
But trust me when I say, you will want to read it. Over and over again.
Tell me in the comments, did you order your copy of Beautiful Bastard yet? Did you read it? What other fic-turned-books have you read? What are you hoping makes the leap next?
ZOMG! On March 2nd, we're going to get eight more minutes of Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 1. Eight minutes of what originally (wrongly) ended up on the cutting room floor. Eight minutes of Edward and Bella goodness. Eight minutes. EIGHT FUCKING MINUTES!
Do I really need to dish out $29.99 for eight more minutes on Blu-ray? HELLZ YEA I DO! I'll be tossing that puppy into my Walmart basket without a second thought. That's the thing with Twilight... I can feel poor and like I don't have a penny to spare, but I don't even bat an eye at buying yet another DVD or another movie ticket or another magazine featuring Edward's sparkly mug.
Bill Condon says:
“As Twilight series devotees know, there was a lot of ground to cover in adapting Breaking Dawn to the screen,” said Condon. “Between the wedding, the honeymoon, the birth, and everything in between, naturally there were things that didn’t make it into our final cut. But I wanted to make sure that for all the Twihards out there, there was a chance to see some of these cut scenes – several of which are fan favorites from the book.”
So what are we going to get in that eight minutes? Eight more minutes of honeymoon headboard demolition? (Ohyespleaseohpleaseohplease) Eight more minutes of talking wolves? (Iwillseriouslycutabitch) Eight more minutes of bony broken Bella slurping blood through a bendy straw? (Interestingbutnothankyou) What could it be??
Come on, Twitards and tell us in the comments what you wish for in those eight beautiful bonus minutes!! I can think of a lots of wishes and I'm pretty sure they all involve Isle Esme...
This letter from Bill Condon was posted on the Twilight Facebook page a couple of days ago (I think...wtf do I know about Facebook??? I am a fb holdout!) and it made me a little teary... Get the tissues out - again! *sigh*
On the flight now from Madrid to Berlin, I wanted to check in one
last time, as you're finally getting a look at what we've all been
working on so intensely. It's hard to believe that after our Berlin
premiere tonight, my TWILIGHT journey will finally come to a close.
It's been almost three years since I first wrote to you. I'm very
proud of what we've created together since then, and I hope that PART II
fulfills your expectations for the grand finale to Stephenie's
sprawling saga. Fingers crossed that you've also managed to stay at
least mostly spoiler-free, in order to enjoy the twists and parting
gifts we have in store for you...
Thank you again for making me feel like a member of your fandom
family online...for sleeping in The Line in San Diego in order to laugh
with us in Hall H...for traveling great distances to join us in L.A. for
last year's Tent City and this year's Fan Camp. Above all, thank you
for trusting me with this universe you care so deeply about - we tried
to match your intensity in our attention to every detail. That said, I
don't think I'll ever live down the shame of being spied on by Twihard
covens around the world on our very first night of shooting in Rio.
Thanks to photos shot and instantly posted online of Bella and Edward
on their honeymoon, we were called out in real time for missing a
certain engagement ring... (Sorry -- again!)
As with you all, what I'll take with me from my time in Forks are so
many great friendships - our massive cast of talented actors, and new
creative partners such as Melissa Rosenberg, Guillermo Navarro and Phil
Tippett. I hope to know them all for years and to work with them again
soon, making movies yet to be dreamed up. At the L.A. premiere Monday
night, Phil said we should make a "bloody, giant monster movie." But is
there room for a musical number?
Ok so we're a bit behind the times here what with that pesky holiday last week and all. But if you haven't seen it yet, feast your eyes on the latest gem from those hysterical Bad Lip Reading folks. Just make sure you don't have to pee because if you do, you're gonna go in your pants. This is some funny shit.
If I ever get a pet rabbit, I'm naming him Dougie.
Nearly four years ago, a friend handed me a book called Twilight and said, "here, I think this is a book right up your alley." I shrugged, took the book and never looked back. Over the next two weeks I did nothing but work and read and work and read and when it was over, I started back at the beginning. Like all of you did. Several times.
And now, I sit here in the silence of my living room, still a bit emotionally fragile after finally seeing Breaking Dawn Part 2 and I feel a little like New Moon Bella... I'm curled up on my couch in my sweats watching the last four years flash by like changing seasons. And looking at what my life has become. I almost think I waited to see the movie because I knew that was admitting it was really over.
This would sound extremely strange to any non-fan, but to you, it will sound normal. Twilight has made my life better. Those four books, innocently penned by Stephenie Meyer, have given me so much to be thankful for. Frankly, I'm so jealous of those of you who got to meet her in LA at the premiere and tell her things. And give her notes. I sent her a fan letter years ago. I don't know if she ever received it but if she did, she knows.
I have met some really awesome folks along the way. Not only here in Maine, but clear across the country, across the pond and even down under. People that, regardless if there's another Twilight movie ever, will be an integral and important part of my life. These are people I talk to on a daily basis, at times more often than my own mother (you know who you are). People I turn to for support and advice and my daily dose of laughter.
At the end of Breaking Dawn this afternoon, I sobbed. Not so much because the movie itself was sad, but for the memories Twilight has awarded me. (Ok, I sobbed because of the movie too.) If you haven't seen the movie yet... trust me, bring the tissues. I had a pocket full of them that were not easily accessible and ended up using my sleeve. Have them ready. Seriously.
Lastly, I would like to extend my biggest "thanks" to Jenny Jerkface and Snarkier Than You -- because without them, there is no us. I love you girls more than you'll ever know and I'm grateful every day you're in my life.
Hi! Sorry it's been a while... We've kinda dropped the ball here, almost four years in. FOUR YEARS! I feel like we have let you down. As The Grande Finale approached it was hard to wrap my head around it. I have such mixed feelings - when we started this blog, 2012 seemed as impossibly far away as Edward is impossibly fast and strong. And yet here we are, almost four years and TWO MILLION page views later. The weird thing? We got our 2,000,000th page view TODAY, according to Blogger stats. The EXACT SAME DAY as the U.S. release of Breaking Dawn II. How's THAT for a coincidence??? I had long guestimated that the two would happen at roughly the same time, but it's kinda eerie on some level that it's the same freaking day. In a good way. I think...
Anyway, I've been following along this past week - Tent City in LA, the press tour, Kristen Stewart's "I refuse to wear clothes you can't see through" bender -
Granny panties and see-through lace! Also? Nice ass (not that I was wondering...) & she looks gorgeous.
Nipple-cover-uppers and see-through and lace!
OK - JEEBUS! We get it! You're gorgeous!
Now put some clothes on before you catch the death of you!
But of course it didn't matter, because she had the best accessory of all time on her arm (and I am not going to address the whole "Kristen Stewart Took a Shit in My Happy Place" debacle here - maybe another time but it bummed me out too much to write anything witty about it so probably not - moving on!) -
A little "cat who ate the canary" smirking... Well played. *slow clap*
Rob wore green houndstooth (that apparently he apparently picked out and had custom made) and a fresh haircut. I kinda wish he
hadn't gotten a haircut - he was almost at Rome Rob hair epicness! - and
didn't loooove the suit, but the whole package was still magically
delicious -
He could wear puce polyester jorts and still be the hottest dude on the black carpet (sorry, wolf-pack).
Well now you're just being a TEASE! Carry on...
Stephenie looked amazing, too, and girlfriend has worn some dud outfits in past years.
London - *swoon*
Really the only thing keeping me going right now is the fact that there will be LOTS more red carpet struts in his future - near and distant. I am not keeping track, but I am pretty sure he already has something like 27 dozen other movies in the works. Give or take.
The other thing that makes me feel ok about the end of this particular era? All of you. The lasting friendships out there that started here and in other corners of the Twidom and have done nothing but get stronger over the years. But we'll have plenty of time to reminisce and plan future hijinks. For now, let's just stay in the moment and have our last Twilight-y SQUEEEEE moment. Tonight I will be in a local theater hopefully wedged between JJ and Myg (sadly LKW, Texas Katherine, and VitaminR couldn't be here for various reasons - *sniff*), where I will be squeezing their respective hands like my life depends on it and snot sobbing all over them (consider yourselves warned, ladies - bring wipes). Speaking of warnings, I have never actually seen a Twilight movie on opening night where it wasn't an adults-only group, so this should be...interesting. Please make sure the bail fund hasn't run dry because I am reasonably sure that "clocking a loud tween" is punishable (even though it shouldn't be).
We'll be coming back to post and hopefully we can all get uber-sappy, but more immediately, what are you all doing for this last hurrah??? Those of you who have been lucky enough to have already seen the movie, please no spoilers in the comments - and I MEAN IT. Don't make me come after you - I know where a lot of you live. Smooches!!!
Well, Twitards... lower your Team Edward flag to half staff. I have some sad news.
If you made the trek to Forks with the Twitarded crew the first year in 2010, you probably spent a ridiculous amount of time and money in Dazzled by Twilight. I know I did... If you made the trek in 2011, you might have tried to shop here but it may have been closed. It didn't keep the most regular hours last fall. And if you were lucky enough to get out to Forks for a third time this fall, you saw that the store was no longer in operation...it closed earlier this year. *sniffle sniffle*
Blue sky? In Forks?
It's too bad the folks that originally opened Dazzled by Twilight (and were so helpful and welcoming to our group that first trip) couldn't keep it running as a successful business. I guess that's what happens to a town whose tourist industry is fueled primarily by a movie franchise. Nothing gold can stay...
Even sadder news came out of the tiny town of Forks, WA yesterday morning. The building that housed the Dazzled by Twilight caught fire early Monday morning causing irreparable damage to the structure. When firefighters arrived on scene at 4am, they knew the building, built in 1925, could not be saved. The fire started in the three story building next to the store and then quickly spread to the vacant business after an explosion -- most likely a propane tank. Thankfully, no one was hurt. *sob sob*
Since I didn't make it to Forks this fall, I wonder if there was still loads of Twilight merchandise in the now bank-owned Dazzled by Twilight? Did no firefighter risk their life to rescue the poor innocent full-sized Edwards and full-sized Jacobs and full-sized Bellas? Did a family of cardboard standees perish in the flames? I shudder to think of the army of Edwards shriveling in the intense heat. *wails wails*
We all spent some quality time with a few of those standees. So you can imagine the pain runs deep. Farewell... FSE and FSJ.
Like I wasn't already sad enough with the final movie hitting theaters in just a few short weeks. And now this. *sigh* Can't things just go back to the way they were?
Remember when the Twilight trailer came out and we all huddled around our computers and watched it over and over again? Okay, maybe only Snarkier Than You and I did that. Or you guys are just lying and don't want to admit that you watched it on repeat, clutching your heart and sighing at every second Edward was onscreen.
I know you, people. I know how many times you watched it. Don't you fucking lie to me.
That trailer was straight up magical. There will never be another trailer (not even the other Twilight trailers) that made me as excited for a movie as that original Twilight trailer.
Hell, it was better than the movie.
Anyway, ML sent this to me last week and I watched it a bunch of times too, but I didn't get the tingles or anything.
I laughed my ass off instead.
Not only do I love Twilight, I love things that make fun of Twilight. Because, it's hilarious.
Oh, and I just wanted to mention, "SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, mother fuckers!"
On the one hand, I'm so ridiculously excited for November... but on the other, I'm incredibly sad to see this amazing journey come to an end. Don't think just because the Twilight Saga is coming to an end, I'm going to stop loving any of you.
I happened across this on Gawker today and after pausing to consider how sad it is and how lame a blogger it makes me to be getting my Twilighty updates from Gawker (seriously, I might need my key-card to the fandom revoked if I keep it up) I bounced right over here to make sure I shared the goodness. Because I know some of you lazy poor, misinformed people actually get your Twilight giggles from us and us alone (I'm sorry).
So those of you who watched Robert Pattinson and his hair (I am still mad about the hat thing) on Jimmy Kimmel last week got to hear him talking about how he buys "everything" on Craigslist -
I might have a few things laying around that I can sell on Craigslist! Here's my listing:
Mixed Lot for Sale SUPER CHEAP!: Includes AWESOME vintage guitar (formerly owned by Van Morrison!), a gross of HotPockets (assorted flavors), too many ugly hats to count (for display purposes only - cannot be worn), invisibility cloak (great for hiding from paparazzi and rabid fangirls!). Buyer must be well-coiffed and willing to come to LatchKey Wife's basement for pickup. Of the HotPockets. You know, because they have to be kept frozen, not because we are going to do anything inappropriate.*
Seller is very VERY motivated to make a face-to-face sale [*ahem*] and is willing to negotiate (poorly) with inexplicably thrifty millionaires. Serious replies only. Must include photo.
(*You
should probably also shop for a lie detector - I hear Jenny Jerkface
might have one for sale CHEAP on Craigslist. Local pick-up only, natch.
Although I suppose she might be persuaded to deliver it to a hotel room in
the city next time you're in town if you prefer...)
What would you sell to Rob on Craigslist? Give us your best PattinBait in the comments but please keep in mind
that it is illegal to sell sexual favors or body parts. Probably.
We got a really sad e-mail from one of our long-time readers and commenters yesterday. Our dear Vermonstermom has been through a lot in the last couple of years, including the loss of her father after a battle with Alzheimer's, and the fact that she can still form coherent sentences is amazing. Another tragedy has struck her family and she gave us permission to post her story below. I'm inserting part of the background from her husband's Caringbridge site. Click that little link-y right there for more info and to stay up to date on his progress.
First of all, thanks to all of you who have offered your prayers and thoughts and help to me, MJ and the girls. It is the support and love of my friends, family and various communities that will get us through this I know.
The Story: MJ took the girls to the West River in Dummerston VT to go swimming on Wednesday afternoon (8/22). I was supposed to go but didn't (insert guilty feelings here). Apparently MJ got into deep water with Abbi (our youngest daughter, 5) and must have found himself in distress somehow, maybe he swallowed some water, I have no idea really what happened. It is my thought that he was trying to hold her above the water and found himself drowning. Alice my 9 year old was trying frantically to get the attention of people on shore to help. Miracle number one: that there were other adults there to help as often you are alone at these swimming holes. A woman came to Abbi's aid first and got her on to her shoulders, and was yelling for others to come and help MJ. He was brought out of the water with no pulse, no heartbeat, not breathing, eyes open, and blue. Second miracle: someone there knew CPR (here's a plug for everyone to learn it). He had never practiced it before, but it worked. They brought him back and worked on him till the rescue and police arrived. Someone had to run about 1/4 mile to get a cell signal to call 911.
MJ was taken to our local hospital, Brattleboro Memorial, where they immediately decided he needed more care than they were capable of providing neurologically. So he was lifeflighted to UMass Worcester, about 2 hours drive from our house. He is in ICU, on a respirator but he is currently (it's Friday afternoon now) initiating breathing on his own and the machine 'helps' him get a full breath. Miracle 3: they are not concerned about severe neurological damage at this time. He is responding to requests to squeeze hands, wiggle toes, and can answer basic yes and no questions by non verbal means. He can't speak due to the intibation tube down his throat. He is pretty heavily sedated in order to tolerate that tube.
The main concern right now is his lung function. His right lung has water/fluid in it and the xrays are "yucky" (didn't know that was a medical term, learn something new every day). Medical team is waiting for the deterioration of the lung to stop, or to start getting better, before removing the intibation tube. They don't want to have to take it out only to put it back in, running the risk of further infection. He is bound to have pneumonia to some degree I expect. He is on preventative antibiotics, is running a slight low-grade fever and that is being treated appropriately.
We are in a waiting game, which is not the one I want to play. I want the "he sits up in bed and is ready to come home" game. Not gonna get that. This will happen in God's time, not mine. I have had many voices speak supportive and encouraging words, have many friends, family and others praying and hoping for the best possible outcome for MJ. I am optimistic that he will make a full recovery, this is my deepest prayer and wish. I am beyond praying, I am begging God for this to happen. I need my husband and my daughters need their father.
Her story really touched us. We are a crazy, drunk, dysfunctional, strange non traditional family here and if something happens to one of us, it feels like it happens to all of us. If you'd like to jump on the sparkly Twitarded bandwagon to help financially while her family's sole breadwinner is in the hospital, her PayPal address is vermonstermom@gmail.com. You can use the same e-mail address to send thoughts, prayers and hopes for a quick recovery.
Obsessed with Twilight? Think you're too old for this? You've come to the right place!
We are a bunch of over-forty *cough*andfifty*cough* chicks who never really meant to fall in love with Twilight... but somehow we did. Hard. Inexplicably, we've still got a lot to say about it. And other stuff. Join us!
.JPG)
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