Note: if you are not as comfortable as everyone else seems to be with the fact that Twitarded's sensibilities are currently planted firmly in the gutter, read no further and whatever you do, don't follow any of these links. Really. We [heart] you, too, but come back tomorrow (we mean it this time). And, er, Mommy (not a)Jerkface, we need another day. Sorry. Oh - and btw, your daughter is corrupting me. Just sayin'. Did you have any idea your kid was such a slut?
OK, OK - I hope that everyone isn't going to be disappointed by any of this! Some of you have probably already happened across some of the links I'm posting, so if you know of anything particularly juicy that I haven't included, let us know about it! And everyone else here, too, for that matter, since we all seem to be dying for some M-rated Twiporn. Tworn? Twirotica???
Anyhoo - these tend to be incomplete - as in, they cover certain "missing" parts of the honeymoon or whatnot, but they are not complete stories (so don't get mad at me when they end - lol). Then again, it will keep you from having to dig through each one to get to the good stuff.
THIS is a version of "Isle Esme" that is probably the most well-known... [Bella's pov]
THIS one - also called "Isle Esme" is a little longer, and a little juicer imho... (It has two parts, too - don't miss the second one!) [Edward's pov]
Image from here.THIS one is called "The Cottage" - there are several similar variations out there (at least). [Edward's pov]
THIS one is called "The Submissive" - as you can guess from the title, it might not be everyone's cup of tea. But if you're into that kinda thing (and I've read your comments and I have a feeling you just might be...), it has 37 chapters and oodles of juicy graphic details. It does not stick with the basic Twilight story the way Isle Esme does, which is usually a bit of a deal-breaker for me, but somehow it still works. Did I mention is has 37 chapters?! Think "Story of O" meets "Twilight" minus the vampire stuff. I realize that's a lot to wrap your head around, but trust me... [Bella's pov]
THIS one is ok - also not all that Twilight-esque but kind of interesting...
And if I can get something out there that's not TwiPorno but is rather rather just really fucking funny, please go and read THIS - I came across this when I was over at TwiCrack Addict one day and clicked on a link to the manuscript. Unfortunately, the manuscript had been removed (stupid copyright laws!) - but this was hysterical (and not rated M or XXX) - if you are mad because my TwiPorn didn't pan out for you, read this before coming after me, ok???
I may have not looked before I leaped earlier when I chimed into JJ's comments, but I promise to come up with new recommendations in the future! I have to admit, I'm still a newbie when it comes to fanfic (mostly because I don't think I have room for it in my day given my current level of Twilight obsession, but I can say, having read nearly every form of erotica that I can get my dirty little paws on--from The Pearl to Carrie's Story to X--that I love me some racy fanfic...
There was another person I came across who basically was picking up where Breaking Dawn leaves off (and I thought doing a pretty good job of it) but I can't find it for the life of me... I will keep looking... Stay tuned!
P.S. Added bonus section: "things that didn't make it into JJ's Breaking Dawn post":
- spooge (this is why you got "love custard," folks - you're welcome...)
- The Purple-Headed Warrior
- fuck juice
- cum dumpster [note from JJ: what?! What's wrong with that?!]