I went to the grocery store after work yesterday just because the one near my office has a HUGE magazine selection. Sure, sure - I suppose I also needed something for dinner, but that was absolutely secondary: what I really wanted was the US Mag "Sexy Stars of Twilight" New Moon Edition. Bad. And in fact, I thought I DID buy it right then! I even took a pic and tried to tweet it saying "SCORE!!!" but Princeton is like the black hole of cell phone service because everyone who lives there has three cellphones but nobody wants a cell tower within eye-shot of their million-dollar mansion. But I digress... Anyway, I had previously chastised people for not buying the Twilight "Sexy Stars," but tonight I sat down to write this post with the intention of telling you how I felt: "Don't waste your money--I did, and I am majorly ticked!!! I spent 1/10 of a Bella dress for that piece of crap, and it totally wasn't worth it. I feel robbed (and not in the good way I'd use that phrase if I was Tweeting Jenny Jerkface after a rough and tumble night of unbridled debauchery with RPatts...). Ummm, but just now- literally - I ran out to Rite-Aid aaaaaaand I was faced with the harsh reality that I had bought the wrong fucking $10 magazine. Fuck me.
I knew when I picked it up that it felt a little light on content, but I was in a rush and was still elated to have it in my greedy little mitts. Despite the fact that the picture on the cover was kinda pretty lame (which makes more sense now - but really - how did they take almost the same picture and make it look like his mom in drag? no offense to Mrs. RPatts, but really???) . I laid it in my cart face down in an effort so save face. No dice.
And as I started to skedaddle from the magazine section, I stopped in my tracks when I came face to face with the tweeny mag section. I may be partial to "my team," but I was a little surprised? creeped out? a touch of both? by the plethora of the teeny-bopper magazines featuring Robert Pattinson on the cover [read: all of them] alongside a lot of little kiddie stars that I don't recognize. He's inevitably the oldest dude in the group. I don't even know who Justin Bieber is, but I looked him up and he's only 15. When I was a tween, I don't think I had the hots for many people in their twenties. I'm gonna go ahead and totally date myself here: Matt Dillon was probably the oldest "older guy" I had the hots for (and he's not THAT much older than me, for the sake of full disclosure). It would appear that like the way women OUR age are making exceptions, the younger set are also stretching the rules a bit to
I had almost broken free of my spell and moved on, but it wasn't to be...
...and it also didn't offer me a an inconspicuous back cover for my cart.
I saw the mag above and said "Hello! What do we have here?? An all-RPatts magazine? Oh I shouldn't..." And then I started flipping through it and realized that it was probably more useful than the US magazine (or at least the one that I THOUGHT was the US magazine) and there were a couple of pictures I actually wanted to use for the blog. If it's for the blog, well then, I HAVE to buy it, right? I swear that at times like this, I am acting as if I have some sort of expense account associated with the blog or it's a tax write-off if it's blog-related. Which of course isn't the case, but it helps me to rationalize anyway. Just don't tell Mr. Snarky that I spent thirty bucks on Twilight magazines tonight, OK? It'll be our little secret...