Thursday, April 23, 2009

I Did It! Sister Snarky Comes to the Twilight Dark Side!

After JJ had gotten me irrevocably hooked on Twilight, I did the natural thing and tried to think of who I could share the madness love with... After considering it briefly, I realized I wanted that special victim person to be my big sis', Sister Snarky. We don't necessarily spend a ton of time together, but we're very similar in a lot of ways and I figured she would be an easy mark. Not quite...

We had talked about it in September and October (OK, I had blathered on about it; she pretended to listen), but she's a h-u-g-e Buffy fan and said that Twilight was just a cheap Buffy imitator (blasphemy!). Refusing to be thwarted (by "Team Buffy"? Really?!), I brought my copy of Twilight to her at Christmas. It was hectic... Relatives were visiting, the place looked like a Toys-R-Us bomb had just exploded, and I wasn't going to insist she start reading it that day--after all, there was always December 26th!--but I was feeling all warm and fuzzy (this may have been the eggnog at work...) and I pressed it into her hands like it was a priceless family heirloom, telling her in that special voice I use when I am trying to persuade stubborn humans that she just had to read it. HAD to!!

And then I waited. And waited... Anticipating the "OME I'm in soooo in lurv!!" phone call that didn't come... I felt like a jilted lover.

In February, after several months of persistent hounding, she promised she would start reading it. I had long since went out and replaced my copy, so I figured I could be patient. You can lead a horse to water, but...

And then it happened. She drank the kool-aid water. And she sped through Twilight in a few days - banning herself from bringing it to a family gathering for fear that she would be tempted to feign some sort of digestive malady so that she could lock herself - book in tow - in the bathroom for an hour or two of uninterrupted reading. We've all been there! And now she was, too [woo hoo! yes!]. And did I mention that she went out and bought New Moon before she finished Twilight because she didn't want to go through temporary Twithdrawal? Well, she did. And I was SO proud! However, I knew I needed to bide my time before inundating her with every cool Twilight-related thing I had ever seen and was dying to share... Unwilling to do anything that might lead her to spoilers, I sent her nothing. Nadda. Zip. Bubkiss. Until I found this over on Letters to Twilight [click on it for a larger version you can actually read]:

This was her email reply:
Wow - Seriously, no seriously that comic could have been written for me - did someone read my thoughts?! Yes, this was me at Lil' Snark's karate class on Friday:
Mommy X - "Oh is that Twilight that you're reading?"
Sister Snarky - "Ummm, actually no I just started the next one - ha-ha, such drivel, can't believe I am reading this - now please leave me ALONE so I can READ!"

Finished "New Moon" (in 3 days) but refuse to buy the next one unless it is in paperback - will try to avoid bookstore at all cost (not hard, our local one just closed - Thank God! - Sorry Book World guys!) or I know I will buy it hardcover be damned (no pun intended).

You are so mean for turning me on to this...! By the way, I thought New Moon was better than the first. My only quibble is seriously, how many times can she describe him like a Greek God? She needs a thesaurus... :)
Needless to say, being the wonderful sibling that I am, I sent Eclipse off to her in the mail the other day... I mean, c'mon - I have a vested interest in having her finish the saga! [She has NO IDEA what she is in for - lol...]

Yesterday, I received the following confirmation that Sister Snarky's transformation from mild-mannered mommy to rabid Twi-Mom was complete:

To: Snarkier than You
Sister Snarky
Lil'Snark as Edward Cullen

Lil'Snark has a children's author visiting his school today that wrote a book called "Bedhead" so all the kids were supposed to wear their bedhead hair. I personally think Lil'Snark's came out looking more like Edward (and he is really HUNGRY!)....

YAY! You don't know it yet, Sister Snarky, but you are an official member of the Twitarded Sisterhood of the Shirking Duties (sorry, Lil' Snarky nieces and nephews! Oh, wait, and husband.). And as soon as you finish reading Eclipse and Breaking Dawn [you don't know it yet but I also stuck Breaking Dawn into the box I mailed to you!], I will tell you the name of my blog so that you can make fun of me and out me to mom & dad...

I had to share this once I found it! Sorry - I know it's a tad creepy... And I want one.


  1. This is so my life. My sister hooked me and I hooked our other sister. The men think we need an intervention. We suggested Jamaica. A whole week. I mentally placed all 4 books on the top of my list, when my husband chimed in. "No books allowed." Before I could refuse, I looked up and my sister,(the one I hooked who is still reading Eclipse)had the most horrified look on her face. I guess Jamaica is out. Oh, well. I will have my books and the movie.

  2. Congratulations on converting your sister! I now tell everyone who wants to be part of our school staff that the whole Twilight saga is required reading. I've also loaned (*gasp*) my Twilight copy to my sister-in-law, she's had it for 4 weeks and I'm starting to get twitchy. I try to calmly ask "so where are you in Twilight?" Thank goodness I've got the audiobook on my ipod.

  3. I think of Twilight as a near-pyramid scheme. I found it via that Eweekly article back in July. I passed by the books in Target a few days later. Bought them, couldn't put them down! Then raved to 2 friends. Who promptly went out & bought them, and raved to more of their friends, and so on. We all became addicted & then went to see it at midnight the day it was released. And then again a few days later. There was (and still is sometimes!) much neglect of babies & toddlers & husbands & homes. Madness!!! Yet instead of saying "misery loves company" I say "friends who obsess together, stay together, AND have people go watch New Moon with next November!"

    I am glad to see STY has been able to head up the pyramid of her family!! :) Well played!

  4. PS - LOOOOOOOVE love love the nephew's Edward hair! I must try that with my 4 year old son's... Hmmm....Halloween??

  5. OK, I'll confess, I've turned into a wicked Twi-Pusher! Anyone I talk to lately, I have to try and get Twilight into the conversation.... I can't help myself! I will actually talk about it so much that my friends feel like they have to read it out of fear for what I will do to them if they don't.

    Now here's the kicker... I am a huge Red Sox fan (please don't love me any less if you're a Yanks fan), and today a guy friend of mine, after learning of my twi-obsession, posed this question:

    Given the choice, would you rather be on a beach alone with Rob Pattinson, OR be at game 7 of the World Series at Fenway Park with Beckett on the mound.... without even a second thought, my answer - NO contest - on a beach alone with Rob!! And if you know me and my love for the game, this says a LOT. Needless to say, that really put it into perspective for my guy friend. Then I believe he uttered a "yikes!"

    Sorry to babble on ladies... I'm still a little amped up from the ET story on New Moon!!

  6. Excellent work STY and fellow Twi-Pusher, Twi-Dealer...whatever you want to call it. I find it just makes me feel far less insane when more people my age get the photo of Lil'Snark.

  7. I just laughed out loud!! I LOVE it! That is some Edward hair fo sure! I happily converted one of my BFF's. She just came and got Eclipse yesterday. She read Twilight and New Moon in about 3 days. I have found if you will loan the DVD out first (i know, it's hard to do - note to self: go to store and get another copy of DVD) you get much farther. After they watch the movie it's like they can't get enough and they need to know more. And of course I add in how the books are waaaay better than the movie! I loaned my DVD to another friend today (my second attempt to convert - hope it pays off as well at the first!). I was at Wal-Mart and I was tempted to just buy Twilight for her. I resisted. I'll let her watch the movie and then continue working my magic... I hope she's as easy as the first was! Then I will move on to my cousin... She'll be much harder as she never has time to read! Wish me luck! *GRIN*

  8. YES! YES! and more YES!

    I got one of my sisters hooked immediately after reading the books. She is in LOVE and we had a fabulous time seeing the movies "a few" times together. ::wink wink::

    I'm working on my other sisters (I've got a few) but they are harder nuts to crack. :(

    Little Lil'Snark is an Edward in the makings for sure. :) Can't wait to meet Sister Snaky. And that comic is brilliant and scary true.

  9. You all are WAY better Twicrack pushers than me! I got hooked by my BFF (who by the way has the restraint of a saint, she's only read the books once and never reads the blogs - curse her!) but I haven't been able to get a single person into it. My mom read The Host but won't touch Twilight and my sister (who's WAY younger than me) thinks I'm psychotic. Which I am, but that's besides the point. Thank goodness I have you all to gush over all things Twilight with, or else I'd be crazier than normal. Keep up the good work, the more people we convert the less crazy WE seem!

  10. Originally my niece got me into it, but then I became the Twi-pusher. I got her mom into it, then her sister, then my other niece, and my mom! My friends are still holding out :( But my brother upon hearing our Twi-chatter one day sent me a text saying he was "Team Buffy" all the way! As he and I are huge Buffy fans. Which totally amused me until he asked the question, "Does Edward have a soul?" OME!!! It was like he read the books, which he never has!! So, I tell him this is under debate. He sends me another text, (which I saved, cuz I'm weird that way) and guess what it said???

    Just this:

    "Tell him we'll be watching him", OME!! I swear to you he has never seen the movie! Freaky huh?? :)

    Keep passing out the kool-aid, I mean Twilight!

  11. am i the only person that cant read/hear/say irrevocably without thing of twilight? cause now that i think about it, a word making me blank out as i have flashes of movie and book scenes is pretty sick. i need help.

    ANYWAYS... im secretly converting everyone i know. i was a twihater for a long time, but learned the error of my ways and now i must spread the word and light to everyone i know. i like to think of myself as a twi-prophet.

  12. I love Twilight conversions! I will talk about it with anyone, anywhere and successfully got my mom hooked. In fact, she still has my copy of Breaking Dawn, which I desperately want back! I don't like to have my books out of my possession for longer than like a week and BD has been gone for over a month. Sigh. . .

    And I can relate to the scenario above by Stacy about choosing between Rob or the Red Sox. I'm a HUGE Tiger Woods fan and a friend asked me if given the choice between Tiger or Rob, who would I pick. I said Rob. My friend responded that was stupid because I would be financially set with Tiger and probably end up homeless in a ditch with Rob. And I said, "yeah, but I'd still be with Rob!"

  13. My friend and I were eating Chinese food yesterday and two men came in and sat down in the booth behind us. We heard the word Eclipse come out of one of their mouths and we both looked up at each other with a knowing grin on our faces. I asked said friend if she thought they were talking about what we think... We both cocked our heads back and laughed. I'm pretty sure they were talking about the Eclipse the car. Either way it was funny in a strange way. I can't get over how everything relates back to Twilight.... I love it! I jus had to come back and add this piece of information! Sorry for the double!

  14. Oh and I left out another part... Right after that another man (yes, a MAN!) came in carrying Breaking Dawn. He sat down and read it while he ate his food! I think we are winning the men-folk over... We just don't know it! lol

  15. Conversions RULE!!! I had so much fun getting Sister Snarky on board! Plus she JUST sent me an email thanking me profusely for the books and debating whether to cancel her lunch plans. Oh, and she signed it "Mrs. Cullen" - lol!! she's still going to think I'm fucking nuts when she reads this blog, but I am ok with that...

    @Anon - Jamaica or Twilight... Tough one. OK, not really. I'll take Twi. When I read Twilight I am in my happy place - in Jamaica you'd just get sunburned and a bad hair-do anyway (do people still come back with their hair corn-rowed and beaded these days? I am old - lol...). You made the right choice.

    @Stephanie (Can I call you "Stephenie"? lol) - I REALLY have to get the audio versions to make my Twilight life complete! Maybe this will be the thing that FINALLY makes me break down and get an iPod (I looove music and am embarrassed to admit that I don't have one...).

    @Anne - I looove the "near pyramid scheme" thing - you are so totally on target with that! What was that commercial back in the day that went "And they'll tell two friends and so on and so on" until the screen is filled with a million people? Because yeah, it's like that. And why wait for Halloween??? Get some product in that young lad's hair!

    @Stacy/SEJ207 - Get OFF of MY BLOG, you Red Sox fan! JK - no worries - I am not a sports fan at all! Just never caught the bug. Or maybe I was too traumatized by playing Little League as a kid. One of those. But I will take "Beach with R-Patts" - or "Beach with Edward" (even better!) over just about any other scenario you could come up with. : )

    @VitaminR70 - Thanks! He IS a dashing fellow (takes after his aunt STY - lol). And I will happily continue pushing Twi where I can so that I look less nutty by comparison.

    @Misty - Interesting theory! I will have to try using the DVD as the "gateway drug" to the "heavy stuff"/book - lol - sounds like it works!

    @cuteangiek - For better or for worse, I've reached the end of my sibling-turning possibilities. Although I DO have a couple of sister-in-laws that I think I'll set my sights on next!

    @Heather - That is SO unfair!! You really need to tell your friend to get more involved [shameless self promotion time] - have her start with this blog! lol...

    @annacatgw - When my nieces are a little older, they're in bit trouble, Twi-wise. Anuty STY will have some book recommendations for them for sure! If their mom's haven't already taken care of it for me, anyway...

    @kt - Nope - definitely not you. The second I typed the word "irrevocably," I immediately started to type how I was in in love with Edward Cullen. But you guys already know that - lol!

    @Aggie99 - Hmmmm -maybe I should think about dear old mum - she would probably enjoy something like this! But I may have to tell her it has some racier bits - a little white lie won't hurt, right? For the greater good?? : )

  16. @Misty - lol!! and post all the comments you want - we [heart} the comments!!

  17. Funny, funny! Ok, I moved to Hawaii about 4 years ago and most of my friends are on the mainland. So cry me a river, I know, I'm fine. But when my daughter got me to read Twilight and I became obsessed. I didn't know what to do. No lie, I confess. When the DVD came out. I made my husband go with me to the Hot Topic Release at Midnight and then I cried because none of my Hawaii friends cared about Twilight. :) Anyhoo, I did stalk my sister in law just recently and threatened her with physical violence if she didn't read the book. So she went and got the book and was silent for about a week. Little did I know she had blown through all four books and Midnight Sun. Her kids and husband didn't eat all that week (At least that's what I think). But now I'm happy to have at least one person I know be just as obsessed as I am. I'm Twidarded!

  18. I LOVE this , this is absueffinlutely awesome!!!!

    You need to keep us updated...We want all the juicy details...the first time she meets Little Edward, the first time she sees the Vampire Kiss montage, the first time she eats a Twilight Conversation heart!
    I'm so excited for u! (can u tell I haven't been able to turn one single friggin soul!?)

    Please blog about Sister Snarky...I want to remember (even if by association) the first time I opened my eyes to the TwiWorld (it's sorta like Bella's awakening in BD, no?) again!!

    Emmes ("...mmm!" provided by Edward Cullen)

  19. Today my dad said to me "did you know they are making a sequel to the Twilight movie" UM HELLO DO YOU NOT KNOW WHO YOU ARE TALKING TO????? So, I sent them home with my DVD (with the stipulation that they return it tomorrow.) They asked if there was any background they needed to know before watching it and that launched me into a 10 minute verbal diarrhea of All Things Twilight (including but not limited to character background, what Stephenie Meyers vampires are like, box office stats, and Why The Books Are Better). I was obviously beyond excited, though I did warn them of bad sparkling and bad running - for some reason I get HUGELY embarrassed when I have to watch them was so much better in my head - and also super-slow kissing. So, maybe we'll have 2 more converts via film. It's nearly as intoxicating as Edward's breath to convert more people, oui?!

  20. You turned your sis into a vampire! And she didn't thrash around once or complain about the burning either! Nice work! ;)

    That pic of your nephew is too freakin' cute! And the Cheezburger one looks like that 'cold one' pic in that book Bella read in the movie.

  21. OMG....I'm a pusher too. Now my Mom, 2 sisters, and sis-in-law love the books too. I'm stingy with my books though, I give a time limit to get them back to me. I wish I could say I'm joking. I'm not. I did let my sis-in-law watch my movie and thankfully, she knew me well enough to bring it back the next day.

    BTW, you all are hilarious!

  22. I'm way late to the game here, but I stumbled across your website the other day and have almost read nothing else (aside from New Moon, then Eclipse for the 426th time). I was quiet about my love for the series until I finally got a friend to read the series and now it's a full-blown addiction. I actually think that her having read the books has made me worse about it! Anyway, just wanted to share that and the fact that I since I discovered your blog I have shirked all work-related responsibilities in favor of seeing what you and JJ and mini-Edward are up to! Keep it up, you brighten my day! :)

  23. This is so my life. My sister hooked me and I hooked our other sister. The men think we need an intervention. We suggested Jamaica. A whole week. I mentally placed all 4 books on the top of my list, when my husband chimed in. "No books allowed." Before I could refuse, I looked up and my sister,(the one I hooked who is still reading Eclipse)had the most horrified look on her face. I guess Jamaica is out. Oh, well. I will have my books and the movie.


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