Last night JJ and I were out at our favorite local dive bar where DH's band was playing some good old-fashioned punk rock. Pre-show, we milled around upstairs (the bands play in a subterranean lair) shooting the shit and throwing back some strong cocktails [remember in a previous post how I said we'd had the week from hell? yes? ok then.] I was in a conversation with a women whom I begrudgingly remain friends with despite her foiling JJ's and my best efforts to indoctrinate her into the Twidom when she suddenly stopped blathering mid-sentence to blurt out the following:
Non-Twi-Friend: Oh!! That girl from that stupid vampire movie you love so much chopped off all her hair!
Snarkier Than You [freezing mid-sip]: WHAT?! That's impossible!!
NTF: Yup - it's true! And it doesn't look good. I mean, she's a beautiful girl, but that pixie cut is SO not right for her...
STY: Where did you hear this?! Are you sure?!
NTF: I was surfing Yahoo's OMG news - that "What Were They Thinking?!" thing where they show all the worst style offenders?? It was definitely her, and Lady GaGa and a few other people in awful get-ups.
STY: When did you read this???
STY: [Exasperated] No no no - what time today???
NTF: [looking at me like I am effing nuts] What time? Why?? Er, I have no idea... Maybe around 4:00? Why??
STY: Listen, I hate to admit this in public, but I am so tuned into all things Twilight that I follow several blogs who would have posted about this before the first shorn clipping of hair had hit the ground. And I didn't hear about it.
NTF: [sullen] Well, it was her.
Unfortunately, it was really REALLY late when we got home so I wasn't able to confirm or deny the aforementioned rumor but when I woke up this morning, it was still on my mind and I went to check it out. I went straight to Yahoo, where I found this:
For those of you who may be as clueless as I am when it comes to this kind of stuff [have I ever mentioned that I stopped obsessively reading Perez Hilton when I started obsessing about Twilight? Well, I did.], that is Jena Malone. I've heard her name but had no clue who she really was, although over at IMDB it says that she was in one of my fave movies, Donnie Darko and also, coincidentally, was in Into the Wild With K-Stew. Maybe I just don't recognize her current look... Anyway, clearly, she is not Kristen Stewart. I don't think Robert Pattinson would tap that, do you? To give NTF her due, that haircut isn't the best (can anyone say "The Jamie-Lee-Curtis-'do"???) and that outfit is a disaster (people, can we please keep the knee-high stockings in Grandma' s dresser where they belong? Please?! Because they flatter no one, ok??). But it's not The Stew (who to her credit either has better taste, a better stylist, or--more likely--both).
P.S. I just spoke to NTF a few moments ago, apprised her of the falsity of her story and my bloggy intention to share her faux-pas with the world, and asked her if she had any further on-the-record comments she's like to share. All I got was "Don't you dare put me on that stupid blog of yours!!!"
Sorry, NTF, too late! But I still [heart] you. And admit it: you're a secret Twitarded reader. It's ok; I know alllll about it. : )
P.P.S. DH was not too happy with me this morning when I jumped right into blogging without any consideration for our breakfast/brunch-y needs. He looked at me petulantly and stated "I can't live on Twilight news. I don't get nourishment from it like you do."
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