Friday, April 3, 2009

Yay! I'm the Crazy Lady on the Train!!

Yesterday afternoon I managed to finally pummel my way through the crowds and find a seat on the train. I was all excited because I got MY seat on the train. MY seat is usually the third from last three seater in any given car (preferably the fifth one from the back) and I get all excited every time I get it. And yes, I'm just a tad OCD (in both ways, natch).

Anyhoo, this nice looking fortyish woman sits next to me and I notice she has Eclipse. I lean over to her and whisper, very conspiratorially, "I think New Moon was my favorite but that one is a close second.'

Naturally, she looks a bit startled that I'm talking to her but gives me a little smile and asks 'Are you Team Edward or Team Jacob?' **

I give a grin that probably, in retrospect, was totally lewd and said 'Oh, I'm DEFINITELY Team Edward.'

She gives a nervous laugh and then pulls out her cell phone, presumably so I will stop talking to her. I immediately text message STY and tell her that the chick sitting next to me on the train had Eclipse. Then I started digging around my bag looking for Edward. This turned into a five minute rummage fest (my bag is HUGE) and the lady was starting to look a little nervous and gave me a squirrely look every now and then. Maybe she thought I was going to pull out my own copy of Eclipse and have an in depth discussion with her (Oh! The humanity!). Or maybe she thought I was looking for a bowie knife and was preparing to fillet her because, just as I wrapped my fingers around Edward's head, she suddenly bolted from the seat and disappeared into the next car. {{Sigh}}. I only wanted to take a picture of Edward and her book!

This incident made me realize something, however. There is a big difference between a Twilight fan and Twitarded fan. As if it wasn't already glaringly obvious which category I landed in, it is now.

**Side note - Talking to a random stranger on the train is a behavior that is actually weirder than running around snapping pictures of an action figure. Seriously. For all of those who aren't in the NY-NJ area - we don't talk to each other. In fact, we actively pretend that the four million other people crammed into a small moving box don't really exist.

Another side note - I had a bitch of a time trying to get pictures of the inside of a train online. And then I came across this picture and realized why - (look at the woman at the bottom of the picture. Dude, she is PISSED that someone snapped a picture.

The photographer of this picture is probably lying with Jimmy Hoffa somewhere.


  1. I would totally talk to you on a train.

  2. I think I need to buy me an AFE.....I can't believe how much fun you have with him!!

  3. i am so jealous...i wanna scare people on trains with mini Edward! haha!
    too bad he only reads mings and not minds, he could have told you what she was really thinking! HAHAHAHA

  4. LOL!

    Ya know it's so much more rewarding being Twitarded. =]

  5. Oh I love your posts, they always give me a good laugh. Probably because I am just as Twitarded as you :)

  6. Seriously, in this neck of the woods, the "talking to strangers on trains" thing just. isn't. done. Everyone has perpetual elevator face 24/7. It's eerie. Yet nice somehow.

    Everyone needs a mini-Edward, imho. Times are tough, people, and the entertainment-value-to-cost ratio here is FANTASTIC! Best ROI out there. Do it. You know you want one.

  7. Omigawd...this is hilarious! i'm def in the Twitard camp.

  8. The husband already thinks I'm crazy, I'd rather not get a little Edward doll - he would send me to the looney bin, for sure. I'm content with just being TwiTarded and not TwiInsane, lol.

    Oh, and the bus on campus when I went to college - same thing as the trains. Everyone tries to look busy and gives someone a stink face if they want to sir right by you. Creepy, but I did the same thing.

  9. LOL, you guys kill me. I'm telling you, loony bin or not, the Edward doll is FUN. Then again, I figure if they throw me in the crazy house I'll have a roommate soooo... (lookin' at you STY)

    And I always find it kinda funny how hard people work to ignore each other. @Kathy - stink face is the perfect term for it, dude.

    I'm proud to be Twitarded!!! Twitards unite! LOL.

  10. I just love your blog, it is hilarious...down here in the great state of Texas...we talk to anyone and everyone that will listen. I love to start of conversations with people...I need to get an Edward doll and carry him around with me...

  11. Thanks Momma T! I have to tell you, when I was in my hotel one morning some guy came up and started chatting and I immediately got suspicious that he was up to something but he just wanted to say hello, lol.

    Get yourself an Edward doll! It's a great conversation starter... :)

  12. My Edward doll has remained on the book shelf since I bought him and hasn't even seen the light of day, but you've inspired me to take him out on the town... ;-)

  13. This is so freakin' funny. Just imagine what she would have done if you had actually whipped out Pocket Edward? BTW I told my friend that did the "Pocket Edward Goes To Forks" video (shameless promotion here if you don't mind with me about your site. She could not stop laughing when I told her the name of your blog.

  14. *sigh* I fall into the twitarded catagory :(
    But thats cool-you guys are there to.

  15. @ Corr - Personally, you guys make being twitarded that much funner. ;)

  16. That is so funny that you ignore each other. Here in the south, we literally wave at perfect strangers while passing each other in our cars. My husband actually is offended when some "asshole" doesn't wave back. Small town life, I guess.

  17. @Kat - yeah, talking to each other is a big no-no. Making eye contact isn't recommended either, lol. Seriously, there are three thoughts that come to mind when a stranger approaches me 1) they are going to ask for me, 2) they are going to take all my money or 3) they are going to kill me.

    We here in the NY-NJ have perfected the art of 'elevator face'. Every time I leave this state I am immediately perplexed by friendly behavior yet defensive at the same time. In my head I'm thinking, 'did that guy just smile? Nah, must have gas. Can he hide a gun under his jacket...'

    Thanks for your comments!!

  18. random and about a year and a half late but I just decided to go back and read Twitarded from the first post (I discovered the blog only a few months ago) and almost every post has me laughing but this is something else. I full on cackled. I think I woke up the neighbors baby laughing so hard.
    Espec at that photo at the end and the comment about the photographer.


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