Saturday, May 9, 2009

Twilight Fans Kick Bruce Springsteen's Butt!

Well, not exactly...

And before you all wrestle me to the ground (or just plain kick my ass), let me preface this with a few details about me:
  1. I'm from New Jersey.
  2. I am dating a man who may or not want to make out with Bruce Springsteen. I mean that in a purely musical sense, natch.
  3. I'm from fucking New Joisey folks. The Boss? Brooooooce!! Get it? [note from STY: Nobody in New Jersey talks like this. NO. BODY. Somehow JJ speaks Long Island. Sorry, Long Islanders, but you know it's true.]

This is my living room. I shit you not. Those are framed Bruce Springsteen albums (OME plays a mean air guitar).

Granted, I'm honestly not a huge Bruce fan, though I have the pleasure of listening to him frequently (((sigh))). I get what he's done for music and all but... Well, let's leave it at that, just in case ML ever decides to read this...

Anyhoo, rumor has it that Paramore and The Boss have both been nominated for "Best Song From a Movie" at the MTV Movie Awards (apparently this is MTV's feeble attempt to include some actual music-related content in its programming). Paramore's Decode and Springsteen's The Wrestler are both contenders. And please for the love of all things holy keep Mickey Rourke away from Robward's pretty face. Or better yet, please make sure that R-Pattz is in Italy on the night of the ceremony. Because Mickey Rourke is probably still smarting over Rob stealing his two seconds of audience-camera-time-thunder just by being in the shot, smoldering over his shoulder. And Mickey Rourke is crazier than a shit-house rat.


From the Idolator article:
Given that the MTV Movie Awards are decided by the always-democratic process of Internet and dial-in voting, there is no way that the Twilight-affiliated Paramore song does not walk away with this “honor.”
Um, yes. That's absolutely correct. If Paramore doesn't win this award, I expect there to be riots the likes of which we've never seen. Hormonal teenage girls stampeding down the streets of New York, Chicago, LA, and everywhere in between, upending cars and setting fire to stores. Their molotov-cocktail-hurling mothers will be right behind them. It will come out in the grisly postmortem details that only stores carrying Twilight merchandise were spared.

Give me Twilight or you DIE.

Meanwhile, people in New Jersey will be rioting and upending cars and setting fires to stores in Newark, Camden - oh wait, that happens all the time anyway. Never mind.

Say you'll protect me from Mickey Rourke. Say it out loud!

24 comments:

  1. Holy crap you never cease to crack my ass up! I loved the part about the hormonal teenage girls and their molotove-throwing mothers!! Priceless, and true to boot! I think I'm gonna borrow "crazier than a shit house rat" if that's ok...LOL

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  2. So, forgive the idiot, but what does OME stand for? I know what you are referring to, I just can't figure out what it stands for, and I like to know what the acronyms I'm reading mean.

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  3. You so crazy! (But not as crazy as Mickey Rourke)

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  4. "And please for the love of all things holy keep Mickey Rourke away from Robward's pretty face" hahaha that was too damn funny!

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  5. @Kira Leigh - I'm assuming OME is Oh My Edward?? Only because I heard it a million time when I went to the midnight showing of Twilight. Yep, I was one of those... Anyway...

    @STY- Now for my OME moment. I am from Lindenhurst. From now on, when ever I read this blog, I will hear my Grandmother voice & her LongIsland accent.

    Micky Rourke is CRAZY. Which I of course LOVE.

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  6. Oh crap! I got all confused due to beer drinking & sleep deprivation. I meant the comment for JJ cause JJ wrote this wonderful blog. LOL Okay I'm gonna have another beer & stop blogging. SORRY!

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  7. The Oscars pic cracks me up. I remember watching and when the camera was stuck on Mickey, I was like "oh, crap, I gotta look at this train wreck!" Then I said, "hey, wait a minute, is that, OMG it's Rob right behind him!" That's when TiVo comes in handy... rewind, pause, focus on Rob, make pretend Mickey isn't there!!

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  8. JJ is off all day doing mother's day stuff but i'm only on the hook for a phone call or two, so i'm going to act as her temporary stand-in! maybe she'll be able to chime in later...

    @Aunt B - you are welcome to use any colorful language you find on this blog as you see fit - that one's been around for a while but it's still got a lot of life in it ihmo!

    @Kira Leigh - "OME" is "Oh My Edward" - er, we usually use it as a stand-in for "mini-Edward" when we're feeling lazy or pressed for space... and there are no stupid questions. : )

    @Ang - nobody is as crazy as the Rourkester. If he reads this he will hunt us down and kill both of us.

    @marie - i just don't want Rourke getting all jealous and stuff you know? because his face used to be kinda handsome and now he's morphing into joan rivers or that crazy cat woman. put the scalpel down!

    @cuteangiek - hey you had it right - the staten island comment was my add-on... not sure if hearing your grandmother while you read twitarded is a good thing or not but that's funny!

    @Stacy - we had a bad "tivo moment" on oscars night - sure, i did get my r-patts pic (yes i actually took that picture of my television set) but then it missed the VERY ending at like one in the morning (so no best picture winner) - i was PISSED! i loooove my tivo but when it effs you like that it really smarts... : )

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  9. Ha!! Hilarious, as always. Ladies, cross your fingers for me. It's Mother's Day and I'm hoping my husband bought me a little Edward of my own. Long shot, for sure, but still hoping. And Happy Mother's Day to all you twimoms!!

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  10. "Give me Twilight or you DIE."

    Still laughing at that one!

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  12. Yuck! Mickey Dorke gives me the creeps - His lips look like a cow's Vag!! That or it's "Octuplet Mum" on a night out! ha ha

    Then salvation over his shoulder - RPattz thank god, as my eyes are still stinging.

    Actually, Bruce gives a good concert especially at Giants Stadium.

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  13. @ Ana Christina - I swear that's what those girls in that picture are thinking, lol. I can see the Crazy in their eyes.

    @Limey-1996 - A cow's vag? Holy crap that mad me laugh. I think I'm stealing that...

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  14. LOL I can't believe you wrote shit house rat - I thought only my crazy Boston Irish family said that!!!

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  15. When I was eight, we were in Disney World and a cast member asked where we were from. I said "New Jersey," to which she responded, "don't youy mean Joisey?" I had no idea what she was talking about. My parents stepped in and told her we weren't from "that" part of Jersey (I'm South Jersey/Philly all the way!).

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  16. @brightredink - LOL! In my defense I don't say 'Joisey'. I do, however, have a really wretched Jersey accent - dawg, tawk, wadder, etc.

    And there is a HUGE difference between South Jersey accent and North Jersey accent. I have the North - just think Sopranos...

    And that, my lovely Twi friends, is your lesson on Jersey accents for the day... Muhwa! :)

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  17. @STY - It's a great thing. At least in my mind. My Grandma (heck my whole family) has the THICKEST LongIsland accent you can imagine. While I can hear a New Jersey accent, the LongIsland accent has been breed into me. Yeah, know what I mean? It gives the whole blog a new feel to it. LOL I'm a dork. Don't listen to me anymore! I'm not even sure why I am going to press post on this ridiculousness of a failed comment. :)

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  18. If there's one thing I miss about living in Philly, it's hearing the annual tales of those crazy kids in Jersey trying to burn down Camden on Mischief Night.

    And OMG, WTF did Mickey Rourke do to his upper lip? Have some fat taken from his dead chihuahua and injected into it?!

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  19. Ah yes, Camden - the epicenter of hell. Gotta love it. Heard the rent is pretty cheap though... lol.

    And Mickey Rourke reminds me of the scientist guy in A Nightmare Before Christmas. You know, the one that made Sally. I think it's those lips...

    And did that just take me to a whole new level of dorkdom?

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  20. i cant even lie, mickey scares the crap outta me, hes crazier then bella is during new moon. fuck, sum1 needs to protect poor robs face.

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  21. Jenny, I just wanna' know who Mickey's plastic surgeon is...so that if I ever decide to get some myself one day, I don't use that same doc! Gah!!

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  22. @brightredink - LOL! In my defense I don't say 'Joisey'. I do, however, have a really wretched Jersey accent - dawg, tawk, wadder, etc.

    And there is a HUGE difference between South Jersey accent and North Jersey accent. I have the North - just think Sopranos...

    And that, my lovely Twi friends, is your lesson on Jersey accents for the day... Muhwa! :)

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  23. "And please for the love of all things holy keep Mickey Rourke away from Robward's pretty face" hahaha that was too damn funny!

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  24. So, forgive the idiot, but what does OME stand for? I know what you are referring to, I just can't figure out what it stands for, and I like to know what the acronyms I'm reading mean.

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