Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Twilight Widowers Anonymous

Every now and then, when I look up from the computer or a Twilight book, I get a little pang of guilt at seeing ML eating dinner all alone on the couch. Mind you, it's a teeny little pang, but it's there nonetheless.

And I know he's not alone. I know there are thousands of women that are, at this very moment, glued to a computer, sucking down as much Twi information as they possibly can. Others are probably buried in Eclipse for the sixteenth time, analyzing the exchange between Jacob and Edward in the 'tent scene' and leaving their significant others to languish alone in the other room.

Oh, let's be real here - we're just looking for another glimpse of Robward's hotness.

We are thankful our S/Os haven't burned our books and DVDs because it would really suck having to clean up the blood and hide their bodies but I'm sure some of you, like me, do get a twinge every now and again that isn't related to Twilight.

It is an addiction, ladies. An all-consuming, all-encompassing addition. Our loved ones need help as we battle feed our addiction by ingesting copious amounts of photography featuring Robward, Jacksper and Kemmet. We don't need them hovering around us while we drool on the keyboard, do we? Of course not!

Mmm... Robward...

That's where Twilight Widowers Anonymous comes in. Hubby panting down your neck because you haven't spoken to him about non-Twilight related things in two weeks? Send him to TWA! Of course, this only works if you have two computers. If you don't, make sure you SO never sees this post.

In all honesty, this guy is hysterical. He's got a fantastic sense of humor. And patience, apparently, since he's married to Twifanatic.

Actually, now that I think about it, perhaps we shouldn't let word spread... this could end badly for all us Twitards.

But Twilight Widower, please let us know if you are available for play-dates with other Twilight Widows - ours are well-behaved (usually), witty, and will bring their own booze. They are also currently bored out of their skulls and would likely welcome the distraction. Just don't even think about plotting against us. Remember, you are vastly outnumbered and we will crush you if need be. : )


  1. omigosh...i feel so bad now! i am a sh!iteous wife!!!!

  2. Na!! my one is happy that i never complain about the soccer on tv.. before it used to be a fight! Now the telly is all his!

  3. Thanks for the kind review. I felt it necessary to give voice to the all the "other men" out there.

    I live in Vancouver, BC (I will touch on that, make no mistake) so it might be a bit out of your men's way for purposes of forming a support group. I assure them, however, that I feel their pain.

  4. My hubby would totally get into this.

    As of lately he's been rather jealous of my ROBward time. I remind him he created this monster, but I can understand after what happened yesterday why he would have a problem.

    I'm waiting for him to get home. I logon my computer and pull up my fav Twi-sites. eventually I come across the vanity fair interview from last year. So I start watching it.

    I hear a *cough* which sounds more like someone saying pussy while coughing (I give him the benefit of the doubt though). After a couple of those I threaten to restart the interview if he doesn't shut up. Slightly irritated...I finish the interview and turn off the computer.

    I understood his issue when I looked at a clock and in fact HOURS had passed since I first turned on my computer (3 1/2 to be exact), and he had been home most of them without a "Hi baby" or "How was your day" from me.

  5. @Twilight Widower...did you say you live in Vancouver? Aren't they filming New Moon.. wait, we'll send our hubbies to your house and all us Twitards will go and stalk..I mean check out the sets of New Moon. Perfect!

  6. I saw Twilight Widowers via TwiCrack Addict, and I posted this link on their sites; thought I would share it with you as well. My husband wrote this in response to my Twilight obsession:

  7. @Twi - we love you!! Don't feel bad! I'm sure Mr. TCA understands... ML seems kind of perplexed by the whole Twi thing but I promised him that, one day, I'll make it up to him, lol. Our poor neglected S/Os! lol.

    @Luciana - Agreed. ML definitely gets to watch as many Family Guy/Simpsons re-runs he wants!

    @Twi-dower - your blog really cracked me up. And hey, the twi-men out there need an outlet too!

    @ Heather - I know how you feel! LOL. ML kind of hovers around me with this 'you better pay attention to me' look on his face. Poor guys.

    @Brightredink - lovely post by your husband! I loved it!

    @Honolulu Girl - psst. Do you think they would help us climb over the fences or something? LOL!

  8. Just give your S/O's or hubby a six pack and the remote, what else could they possibly want?? ha ha

    Just remember every man loves a bitch now and then! :)

  9. @JJ Does he realize (poor guy) he's surrounded by them since they're filming there. Wouldn't that be funny if like he bumps into them at restaurants, etc..

  10. We're we all just saying we needed a play group for our men a couple of weeks ago? Way to tap into the collective Twi-addict psyche Twilight Widower!! I'm sending my husband the link to your site now.

  11. Nobody is asking the BIG question: Whose husband is this?!

    JJ and I have our theories - lol...

  12. I have been laughing so hard through all of this, the Twitard blog post, TWA's blog post & comments on both pages that my son keeps asking, "What Mom?" LOL

    Oh you guys make my life for sure.

    @Twi-dower - I'm not sure there is a cure for all this. And honestly if there is I'm pretty sure NONE of use would take the antidote. Sorry about that.

    @Heather - Thoughts of a Twi-dower play date are running through my mind like a BRILLIANT dream. So beautiful. I wonder if they would behave. Do ya think they break out the Twi-smut?

    @ Honolulu Girl- If you are planning a "break in" please please please take pictures!

    @SNY - That is an excellent question? My brain is hurting from all the pondering.

  13. My hubby doesn't at all understand my complete obsession with all things Twilight. I'm sure he is regretting that he surprised me with the books last November (still love, love, love him for that).

    He is an over the road truck driver and doesn't really know how much of my time I spend stalking Robward on the net!

  14. my poor hubster comes home everynight to me on the couch with my laptop. last night he came home at 9:30pm made himself some dinner (leftovers), took a shower, grabbed a book, gave me a sad look and went to bed at 10:30pm. I closed my laptop (its a miracle!) and crawled into bed and made him read to me! LOL then he looked at the PILES of laundry and said "i don't have any clean jeans, you sure spend a lot of time on your computer" *pout* OMG! i felt so bad! i hopped out of bed and put in a load of laundry! i need an intervention!!

  15. Stacy (formerly SEJ207)May 6, 2009 at 8:09 PM

    I'm wondering if it's one of your husbands (JJ & STY)?? I'm curious... I know it's not mine because (a) he has NO idea of the extent of my twi-obsession, (b) he's not that funny (although he'd like to think he is) and (c) I bet for a million dollars, he couldn't tell me who the fuck Optimus Prime is!

    I feel lucky that my hubby works 2nd shift and is gone before I get home from work.... so unless he's checking out the web history on our computer (which I'm not sure he even knows how to do), he will never know the hours in which I spend being a total Twitard!! I've added the TWA blog to my list to follow... will have to keep up with this smarty pants.

  16. This was so hilarious and so right on! I sent the link to my husband but I'm sure he wont read it since it has something to do with Twilight. Just the word makes him tune out. I'm posting your link on my blog because I'm sure my other Twilight obsessed friends are going to love it!

  17. It's definitely not STY'S husband,or ML. If we lived anywhere in the vicinity of Vancouver, ML would have locked me in the basement. Seriously.

    All I know is TWA is funny as shit - I showed it to ML and he asked 'who is Jacob?' Sigh.

  18. I do not feel bad for my Twitardedness (ok, closet addict - DH doesn't really even know the full extent of it)! Why is it that it wasn't until I started reading Twilight that my husband finally peeled himself away from ESPN long enough to suddenly realized how much attention I was NOT paying him??? He was the one who saw the movie and told me to read the books (he hasn't read them), so why am I sitting here reading TWA and feeling bad that I have MY thing now?! I didn't go bashing him when he wanted to see the craptastic Transformers movie....which, by the way Edward and his super strength would crush them like pop cans. I don't think it's jealousy over Edward and the Twiworld I escape to, I think it's plain and simple - he's just upset that for right now he's not the top dog (....and there can only be one alpha). All the movies will be out within the next year and a half and the hype will die down, but until then, let me have my thing. Suck it up, and put on your big boy pants!

    Though I have to say, TWA is effing fantastic. Thanks for the insight.

  19. haha, my BFF Matt could use that. despite his efforts he is DEF NOT my s.o. but he does get screwd over cuz of my twi-addiction. the other day i was readin some twi-smut and he called, and i was like im in the mid of a chapter let me call u back in 15 mins. well that turned into him callin me back 3 hours later asking what happened. poor guy hasnt had a convo with my in weeks that hasnt involved the words twilight, vampire or edward. i think i even insisted he HAD to read some of the fanfics, which is funny cuz he refuses to read the books or see the movie cuz of me.....

  20. I'm am SO lucky. My hubby doesn't mind twilight at all! In fact, I got him to read all four books, and he's watched the movie with me 3 times. :) He's a bit iffy on my whole "I love Rob Pattinson" thing- but understand it, and even excepted the fact when I told him that my "one celebrity freebie is now Robert Pattinson, and Keanu Reeves has been bumped off the list"... *snickers*. He was like "Like I didn't see that one coming!" lol. He's SUCH a good sport about it all- and even got me twilight candy at Easter. And He said he'd go with me at the new Moon premiere in LA if I wanted to go (And we're from Arizona!!) .. Although, that one I think he just wants to make sure I don't get tempted to try to make good one my 'celebrity freebie".. *LMAO*

    But over all, he's a great twi-hubby. But I new he wouldn't diss it too bad since he's a pretty sensitive guy-although he tries to hide it. :) Plus he gets to look at the girls from twilight whilst I look at Rob... :p

  21. Ohmygosh! This is the BEST site!!!! I love the comments, they had me laughing the whole time and nodding my head in agreement cuz' I know exactly what everyone means!!! I think my hubby wants a divorce if I don't stop my obsession!!!!

  22. Great, now another blog I need to follow. Thanks JJ. His blog is hysterical. I showed it to my husband and he read the banner and was like "Yes, that sounds like me." I am not sure if it will go beyond that...not sure if he will be up for playdate action but if there is single malt scotch involved he might be coerced.

    I can tell you one thing for sure, it is not my hubby writing that blog. He is a tolerant man--even sent me flowers at work on my birthday last year (Nov. 21--Twilight release date!)--the card said, "Happy Birthday! Love, Edward Cullen"--I had no idea who sent them but made the delivery girl tell me (clearly he does not normally send me flowers). He even helped me put the Pocket Edward video together (I think he just didn't want me to totally botch the whole thing). He is a good man but does get digusted with the whole thing sometimes. I think like @Anonymous above said he misses the attention being focused on him. He can't complain too much though because he reaps many benefits from all this craziness.


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