Monday, June 15, 2009

My Pathetic (but Successful) Attempt at Seeing Rob Pattinson in the Flesh

If you've been a long time reader of Twitarded, you're probably well aware that I have the worst fucking commute. Ever.

Today, however, has made up for the daily torture I've been enduring for the past three years.

Because I totally got to see RPattz. In the flesh.

It all started because STY kept sending me emails urging me to go down and check out the filming. At first I said no because it was a whopping 10 blocks from my office and I'm astonishingly lazy. But that bitch is relentless so I agreed to go.

Let me give you all a piece advice. Make sure you go to the fucking bathroom before you venture out on an excursion like this!! I had to pee so badly I was hopping up and down like a rabbit on cocaine and then finally had to give up and practically ran the 10 blocks back to the office.

Anyhoo, here are two measly crappy pictures that I took with my cell phone. They are quite possibly the worst pictures I've seen yet, which isn't surprising since I took them and I'm usually a total failure when it comes to shit like this.


His back (squint! Squint hard!)



His front! (Repeat above)

Oh, and RPattz, if you're reading this, I was older, short chick in the plaid dress with the tattoo on my forearm. Because, you know, I'm classy like that.

72 comments:

  1. Dear JJ,

    I love you FOREVER.
    You are my hero.

    The END!!!

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  2. Holy crap!! I can't believe that you did it :) Were you shaking and screaming like a pre-teen?! How bad were the paparazi?!? I feel so bad for him that he can't go anywhere now w/o being followed by them (its ok when we the fans do it :)

    Are you going back tomorrow?!

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  3. You are one lucky lady! I am jealous. Damn city dwellers have all the luck!

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  4. Awesomeness! Great story too! Lucky to be so close to that hot ass man!

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  5. I didn't fart or throw up! I very calmly lurked with the rest of the teeny boppers and, in between taking pictures, whispered breathlessly into my cell with STY like the two dorks we really are.

    I'm totally going back tomorrow, with a real camera but I imagine it will probably be swamped.

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  6. Dear JJ,

    I am now officially in awe of you! And extremely jealous, but that's beside the point. How on earth could you be so close and still have the where-with-all to snap a picture (even one I had to get really close to my computer and squint at?) I would have fainted... *thud* Why is it that I want to just lick him?? Nice stalking work... (so will you tell us what street they're filming on??)

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  7. welp. im jealous. how embarrassing was your public fan girl squeeing? be honest.

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  8. That is incredible! Thank you for letting us live vicariously through you today :-) And hopefully again tomorrow! Good luck!

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  9. YEAH HOO! I swear I screamed out loud! haha

    You didn't lose any bodily fluids either, I feel like a proud Jewish mother (not that I'm Jewish) but gives me a chance to say Muoseltoph and all that jazz! haha

    I'm serioulsy having palpitations, is that a bad thing?? Calm... OM, OM...

    Can anyone say "ROADTRIP".....

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  10. LOL! Shockingly I didn't Squeeee at all. I was too busy climbing over bushes in the park and trying not to moon anybody since my dress is a wee short for traipsing around. lol!

    Plus they kept yelling at us to be quiet, lol. I didn't want to get kicked out.

    Oh yeah, that and I couldn't breathe...

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  11. btw he looks really freakin' tall in the one pic he's like a head over almost everyone else.

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  12. @Limey_1996 - I was actually thinking about you when I almost tripped over the curb. I imagined all of you laughing at me. Or with me, depending on how mortifying the experience could have been. Thankfully I didn't fall! LOL!

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  13. Can we share WHERE exactly this wonderfulnss is?!?! I'm only over the river!!

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  14. @JJ- oh bloody hell, ha ha, it would definately be laughing with you my friend and no worries I would pick you up but would be cracking up at the same time, wouldn't be able to help myself. I find people tripping, falling over friggin hilarious. Like that old commercial - "I've fallen but I can't get up" Makes me crack up all the time, I say it all the time, cos I coould trip over a bloody matchstick. Sick I know, but I really can't help it but saying that, I'm the first person to pick someone and dust them off. :) I've even chased oranges down the street for some old girl nearly got killed doing it but I did it..

    You can now officially say that you are no longer a virgin RPattz set-stalker. Congratulations, take a bow and try not to fart whilst doing it. haha

    :)

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  15. @Christine - They are filming around 8th and 9th near Washington Square Park.

    @Limey_1996 - I did almost pee in my pants though... LOL! I don't know what possessed me to run out of the office without using the facilities when I had just finished my second cup of tea. Sigh.

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  16. Yeah! JJ...we are so proud of you! Do it again...please! Frick...saty the night...be there 24/7...quit your job...we need your updates!

    xoxoxo
    Robsten Lovers

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  17. WE love having one of our own in the midst! Yeah for JJ! Can't wait until tomorrow for JJ&RP round 2!
    yOU gO cHICKEE!

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  18. thinking about playing hookie tomorrow! "Permit says they are filming on the 16th as well, and near Washington Square Park" ... temptations, temptations!

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  19. @ jenny -- do you know around what time they will be filming tomorrow?

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  20. well...I just fell in love with you and this site! LMAO! I love your commentary.

    You one kick ass motha for walking that 10 blocks, standing there needing to pee and still being able to control the Pattinson fangirl shake downs(lol..atleast I have em'~ya know, those shakes that start like warm running water through your veins and continues to ignite as your ovaries bounce around happily making you want to explode with jublilant sqeeeing, yeah..that. LMAO!)~but, YOU did~and were able to capture some pics of him standing mere feet away from you! FEEE AWAY HON!

    Cheers
    Peach

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  21. You lucky fuck! I bet you had your cleavage out too!! In case my intent didn't come across right, I'm jealous!!

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  22. @faithisobelle - I have no idea. I actually didn't see any permits but I'm going to head down there around noon tomorrow, I think. I'll tweet on location when I get there.

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  23. @jenny! weeeeeeeee!!!! ok ok... ima see if i can take the day off!!! im coming from nj but im not that far.
    lets see what the bossman says (eeeek!!) ~crossing fingers~

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  24. haha friggin hysterical! You poor thing. That is the worst feeling in the world bursting to go to the loo and you can't cop a squat!

    Oh I've got it! Tomorrow wear one of those "Depend" (adult diaper thingys, you know what the astronauts wear)Then you wouldn't have to worry. haha Just don't drink too much before, have no clue as to how many cc's that thing absorbs and you don't want that thing sagging down to your knees.. YUCK! Very fetching!

    Holy crappola! I must try and get some work done today... :)

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  25. You are so awesome. I totally squeeeed just looking at the pics! You were so close...wow, second hand heart palpitations.

    I <3 you, you are the best!

    And thank goodness STY pressured you into it!

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  26. Totally forgot to congratulate you on keeping it together! Way to go!

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  27. Just read on a blog that he is supposedly filming indoors tomorrow, but of course that could be just to keep the crowds at bay! I would still go and check it out if I worked that close, most bloody definately! Whoo hoo! :)

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  28. You are officially my heroine and my heroin. Go make us proud tomorrow and jump him like we all want to!

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  29. this was a tasty post from the exciting chase and photo op to the desperate need to pee to the awesome combination of plaid and tatt!!

    well done! I'm officially jealous.
    :)

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  30. Well done, Pfc. JJ!

    *Mrs. R erecting "Mission Accomplished" banner in JJ's honor*

    By the way, I just read an article on Robsessed, which proclaimed that RP was seen break dancing on the street today. Are you able to confirm or deny this peculiar detail?

    And for tomorrow's mission: PLEASE bring your mini E to the hunt! He must meet (or at least be pictured in the foreground with) his beloved mortal namesake!

    Or, failing that, hand over your creative cursing guide for RP to sign—you KNOW he will guffaw and blush!

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  31. ........Did I ever tell you you're my hero?
    You're everything, everything I wish I could be.........


    I'm in aww!! High 5!

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  32. Glad to know you didn't lose any of your bodily functions. You should stalk him and bum a cigarette and some intercourse off of him tomorrow.

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  33. i am so happy for you!
    i saw the link for this posted on twicrack addict's blog (i just happened to look there first today) and i sqee'd a bit for you!

    your devoted follower,
    jane

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  34. You guys are the best!! And I'm definitely bringing mini Edward with me tomorrow.

    @Aunt B - Sadly no boobage. It was the one day I decide not to let the kids hang out - figures, right?

    @mmMoxie - bum a cig and some intercourse off him?! BWHAHAHAHA!!

    I have to admit, if he had gotten any closer, I probably would have turned to run away, tripped over some small child, severely injure said child while simutaneously mooning everyone in the vicinity (but no period panties!) and destroying the entire set or something equally disasterous.

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  35. Woot Woot!!! Yay for keeping it together and not losing any bodily fluids OR your skirt!

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  36. chicas!!

    are we gettin any "real" work done today? you know... they kind they actually pay us to do?

    lol

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  37. Wow! I am jealous! At least you aren't one of the girls that attacked him this afternoon! It's AWESOME that you were able to see him in person!

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  38. And now through you I have been that much closer to Rob. Would love to see Mini E and Big Foxy Robward together in some type of photo. Your clever, I'm sure you'll figure how to get them together. :) How fun. I wish I was there.

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  39. This soooo totally rocks!!! You did it girl! Can you photoshop in Pocket Edward? The two could be about the same size.

    Plaid totally stands out--I know he saw you.

    Woofreakinhoo! I feel like I have to pee now I am so excited for you. Woohoo!

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  40. i just saw the scary pics of the attack...Yikes..Can we all cringe together? Sigh! Tomorrow will be even more of a zoo..Get your whip out JJ. good luck in the tween zoo!

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  41. I have to say, I was worried when I saw my google reader and it had separate headlines saying 1) You had seen RPattz today, and 2) RPattz had been mobbed by a fan. Fortunately, the two were not one and the same incident, but is it sad that I connected them? :)

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  42. Wooo-hooo JJ I'm so excited for you!!!

    At least if some of us can't be in NYC and be the lucky bastard we all know you to be, we can live vicariously through you! So if you get to go back and see his holiness again, please, PLEASE try to remember that you are representing all of us, and we are counting on you to somehow seduce our boy and drag him into an alley somewhere!! And we'll want all the deets :)

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  43. I love it.. The rabbit on cocaine had me ROFL

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  44. So I am older than 30 too and I say it's ok to get hot and bothered over a 20 something guy. Especially Robert Pattinson. Geez, I'm sweating right now just typing his name. What would life be without this chiseled man getting us wet????

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  45. I think I hear some sarcasm in your statement "because I'm classy like that"... but the truth is, I would dare to say you're the classiest of all the women who took photos of RP today. Especially those 4 nasty girls who got super up close and personal on his poor bottom.

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  46. The whole Rob attack thing really fucking pisses me off. I stood across the street, as the guards asked and took my silly little pictures.

    Those girls who jumped on the poor guy are absolute twats. Who does that shit? Do they really have no sense of common courtesy?

    I mean, listen, I'm a pretty big asshole but I would never do anything like that to another person.

    Those girls need a swift kick to the 'gina.

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  47. sweet holy hell! kudos, jj! I mean, it would've been insane for you *not* to go...

    I hope he doesn't end up doing a Howard Hughes due to the fan "attack" (I'm thinking of Leo DiCaprio in the Aviator... babbling crazily in a locked hotel room)

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  48. JJ - Thank you for not being one of those crazy stalkers that attacked our poor boy. He looked a little frightened! You'll need to be there tomorrow to protect and service, oops, serve. Because of them, I'm revoking my stalker status.... I never want to be one of them! (And I never want to have hair as bad as checkered shirt crazy!)

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  49. I understand they are filming inside tomorrow. However, given the situation that happened today... I'm not so sure I would go back.

    Them bitches fucking crazy! I don't want to be a part of that mob scene, lol.

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  50. If JJ [my hero, too!] doesn't come back tomorrow with a pic that has RPatts and mini-Edward in the frame there's gonna be trouble!!

    OK this was a very exciting day here and you know what that means: time to celebrate!! JJ - I'll be there shortly with something fancy to drink. I may ask to lick your eyeballs. You've been warned - open your door at your own risk - I'm throwing myself on you like those bat-shit crazy, evil fan-girls on Rob...

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  51. You're my hero.
    Kthanxbye
    p.s. Can I touch you or something? Because some molecules of air that touched Rob also touched you... possibly... (I'm JOKING!!! kind of)

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  52. I would be bloody terrified if that happened to me. Poor guy! I freak out when my kids throw themselves around my neck and I know them. Sorry but his security were total wankers they should have thrown the cow to the curb and she should have gotten arrested. I mean, I know we joke here but that was totally out of order and dangerous. Say he got hurt and couldn't continue filming.

    The thing is now all the "sane" people (yes, us Twitards are somewhat sane for the most part!) that want photos from afar will suffer, as they'll probably block the whole block off now. We would have been at a safe fainting distance where no one would give a rats arse if we keeled over, tripped, walked into a lamp post etc, we would have gone on our merry little way with a big smile on our face! Now they'll probably block off the whole vacinity.

    What a dozey bloody cow, I mean did she think that was attractive and that he would ask her out? Nutter! She definately needs a kick in the vag!

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  53. I saw on TCA's blog that you got to see him today! Lucky girl!!

    Is he just really tall or does he just surround himself with shorter people because he looks like a giant. ****sigh****

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  54. Holy Crap! We are so proud of you! and you didn't even shit yourself! LOL! I can't believe those twat waffles that mobbed him! WTF?! They really do need their asses kicked! No wonder the poor boy is afraid to go out in public. Ms M

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  55. Can you organize a NYC fan patrol to keep away those lunatics from Rob? Seriously! He needs our help! WE HAVE TO PROTECT HIM!!!!!

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  56. JJ - You are my hero. I've never wanted to suddenly go visit my sister in NYC SO BAD in my entire life!!! (U suck. J/K!)

    Bring a better camera tomorrow!

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  57. STY - i'm LMAO at licking JJ's eyeballs and throwing yourself bat-shit on your girl.
    Shit-If you Twitards weren't here - it be a very tweeny, sad, sad, universe full of the youngins who continue to ask every Rpatzz tweeter - are you really rob? OH Yeah for you!

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  58. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  59. Anonymous, re: NYC fan patrol: Over on Robsessed, we have called up an emergency, National Guard-style contingency, known as the Robsessional Guard.

    Our mission, for RP's summer in NYC: Operation RP Freedom.

    And JJ, STY: You ladies are KILLING me with your relentless wit!

    JJ—I hope you have some Doc Martens to strap on, for that well-placed kick.... ;P

    Sorry for my bloodlust, ladies—I'm just very flushed and fired up, after viewing the video of that disgusting, insulting attack on dear RP, and I have been commenting vociferously about it on Robsessed...and now here!

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  60. I'm with K_InTheFlo, I nearly peed my pants at the whole picture in my head of STY licking JJ's eyeballs! You guys kill me!

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  61. wow lucky you! tsk tsk I'm envious

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  62. Yay! I'm so glad you actually did it!!! AND you got pictures!

    Im trying to figure out what time all this was so Jeremy can try to get his ass down there tomorrow and be as respectful as you were, and just take a few pictures for me and the blog.

    I'm so proud of you and I think your pictures are pretty awesome! I hope you have good luck tomorrow and if you see Jeremy down there looking clueless, plz help him out. He probably won't even be able to see which guy is Rob.

    Keeping my fingers crossed for you!

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  63. Go go girl... Actually laying eyes on Rob... I'm so jealous!!!
    Stock up on depends next time eh! Hmmm wounder how much boobage your gona be showing tomorrow??

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  64. JJ's eyes taste like lavender and Robward. 'nuff said. It was a good day. (ftr i walked to her place and it started POURING when i was half-way there [no turning back or mr. snarky might rightfully suggest i stay in...]. without an umbrella. and i totally wrapped my bad self around her like a wet dog.)

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  65. All right, I'm heading back into the fray today. If it's a mob scene I'm turning right back around.

    I've got another plaid dress on and cowboy boots. They might not be docs but they sure are pointy...

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  66. I´m so jealous :-) and so happy you got there, just awesome !!! Now i start thinking about a trip to NYC....

    I desperately hope that he comes again to Munich for the New Moon Release in January!!!! The good thing is, Munich is so small and here are just a few really good places where he could spend a evening.. ;-))
    I´m just thinking what i would do if i cross his way , honestly i would just do nothing. To scared to say a word.... (Maybe i should prepare a ingenious masterplan :-) )

    Anyway, wanna see more pics JJ !!! Have fun and good luck !!

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  67. Don't forget to wear your lucky 10-year old holey period knickers when you go back!

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  68. Yeah! JJ...we are so proud of you! Do it again...please! Frick...saty the night...be there 24/7...quit your job...we need your updates!

    xoxoxo
    Robsten Lovers

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  69. That is incredible! Thank you for letting us live vicariously through you today :-) And hopefully again tomorrow! Good luck!

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  70. LOL! Shockingly I didn't Squeeee at all. I was too busy climbing over bushes in the park and trying not to moon anybody since my dress is a wee short for traipsing around. lol!

    Plus they kept yelling at us to be quiet, lol. I didn't want to get kicked out.

    Oh yeah, that and I couldn't breathe...

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