Sunday, June 28, 2009

A Twilight Confession from Jenny Jerkface

Takes a deep breathe...

I have a confession to make. I have to admit something and it may be shocking so you just might want to sit down while you read this.

I have never, ever been interested in a movie/celebrity/famous/infamous person before. Seriously.

Sure, I thought Johnny Depp was cute. I may have also had the hots for Emilio Estevez (DON'T GO THERE!) briefly when I was like twelve but I have never adorned my walls with pictures of these celebrities nor have I ever bought a Tiger Beat, Teen Beat or any kind of magazine like that. The first time an US Weekly or a People magazine even crossed the threshold of my living quarters was when STY brought them over.

I don't recall smoking copious amounts of crack when I was 12 but I must have to find this guy hot...

When NKOTB were all the rage I was listening to The Violent Femmes, Descendants and Nine Inch Nails. I mean, have you seen those guys? Trent Reznor being the exception, those dudes were NOT easy on the eyes. And the fact that I didn't like NKOTB solidified my title, 'the biggest fucking loser in middle school. EVER.' which made me hate them more. Screw you, Marky Mark, or whoever was in that band. I'll show you 'the right stuff', you dumb bastards. Thanks for making my torturous, awkward teenage years even shittier.

Clearly, I am now making up for lost time.

In a recent conversation I had with Mommy (not a)Jerkface about set-stalking, she admitted she was perplexed by my behavior but disagreed when I suggested that perhaps I'm finally having that total psychotic breakdown I've been expecting for some years now.

"You're just... regressing," she said.

"Yeah, but I never did shit like this as a kid, did I?" I replied.

"I remember you wanting to dress like Cyndi Lauper. Honestly, I never knew what the hell you were thinking. You were just in your own weird little world. And you used to write on everything - your walls, the furniture, clothes, and yourself. Between that and Brother Jerkface throwing knives at the walls... You were just very anti-everything as a kid. We used to call you Jenny Contrary."

[I get the feeling my parents probably called me more names than just that but that's fodder for another post. Or a visit to a shrink]

Regardless, I am currently going through my celebrity-crush phase now. I know it's a little late for this (about fifteen years too late) but I'm too deep in to stop now. As you can probably surmise, I've got it B-A-D.

Damn you, Rob Pattinson and your sexy... everything. Damn you for playing a brooding dangerous vampire. Thanks to you, I now have your beautiful face plastered on every computer I own. And let's not forget that I carry a fucking doll in your likeness around with me everywhere I go. What have you done to me?

I visit sites like this just to look at you. I Google-image your name at least once a day, just to look at you.

For crying out loud, I've literally salivated over pictures of you. I have more pictures of you saved on my computer than I have of myself or ML combined! The fuck?

I'm thirty one years old and I have posters of you!! I have fucking posters of you in my office!! Robward, I'm old enough to have an office and it looks like some fourteen year old snuck in there while I was passed out drunk and plastered the walls with photos of YOU!

But it wasn't a fourteen year old.

It was me.

Fuck me.
I'm glad I'm your first, true celebrity crush, Jenny. Let's make out...


P.S. STY and I love to leave little notes to each other in our posts and this is what I found in this one...

I swear if I ever see him I am afraid that I will try to tackle him like that dumb cunt a few weeks back and then I will have to leave the Twidom... sigh... how is he so FUCKING HOT?! I am too old for this shit but I am glad that I am nuts enough not to give a rat's ass about propriety...

90 comments:

  1. I'm loving your Young Guns pic cause when I was 12 i was all about Christian Slater :)

    Don't feel bad, I think RPattz just has that effect on us!

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  2. I have to say that I WAS obsessed with celebrities when I was a preteen/teen - I had magazine photos plastered to my bedroom walls. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, if I were 15 right now with the whole Twilight/RPattz craze, my parents most surely would have me in a nut house right now! *sigh*

    I too hated NKOTB and much preferred... "why can't I get just one fuck, why can't I get just one fuck, guess it's got something to do with luck, but I've waiting my whole life for just one...."

    You're not alone JJ, take comfort in that. We're all here for you!

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  3. That didnt shock me. Not in the least.. LOL. I was the same way as a kid. I didnt have not one celebrity crush until Paul Walker and that started when he was in F&F.. Before that i'd never had a celebrity crush. I also wasn't interested in the "boy bands" I was more n to heavy rock and alternative music. I am the odd child in my family. And yet now I have several celebrity crushes (well just 3 (2 that are bad) and thats it.. It's completely natural I tell myself..) We are normal.. Its everyone else who's screwed up.. ha..

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  4. oh yeah.. I believe I was 21 when the first F&F came out.. lol..

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  5. How's this for confession: I once kissed the lips off of my Kirk Cameron poster.

    Granted I was in 6th grade at the time, but next to that, my little RPatz crush ain't no thang.

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  6. LMAO -the caption...."I'm glad I'm your first, true celebrity crush, Jenny. Let's make out..." with the creamer of a photo!
    Me too. I never ever ever effin had a celeb crush..never did I HUNT for pics or "the Latest". I look at the tabloids for the first time like there might be some truth to them. I remember the days of seeing the enquirer in the check out and thinking "who the fuck buys this or even thinks any of this is true".. I have to remind myself that NOW..when i read about nikki, emilie, kristen, camille, and I still can't keep it straight - it's a swirling OK mag in my mind. Rpatzz has glamoured me (true blood reference) for life...or until my clit falls off. haha.

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  7. @LMSE - I forgot about him!! I did have a thing for him, especially in Pump Up the Volume. Yum! And, of course, Heathers. (Holy shit are we dating ourselves!!)

    @Latchkey - I still love Violent Femmes. I saw them play about 10 years ago at some rinky dink college. I had a blast. They did not. And neither did all the little kids that were there. LOL!

    @Aimee - I had to look up Paul Walker, lol. And F&F. But damn, that man is pretty good looking too! LOL!

    @Aunt B - Kirk Cameron!! I definitely did not have you pinned for Kirk Cameron! LOL!

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  8. OMG, Heathers - great movie!!

    @K_InTheFlo - until my clit falls off... I'm dying laughing right now!

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  9. @Aunt_B love it! so funny

    My preteen crushes were Andrew Ridgely (!???) from Wham! (gimme a break, I think I was in 5th grade), John Taylor from Duran Duran, Davy Jones from reruns of the Monkees during Jr. high (super embarrassing)

    I'd have to say that my mother has shared celebrity obsessions with me previously, so she'd be empathetic, at least. She doesn't quite get the RP thing, but I think it's because she didn't see Twilight, and that might be the magic thing that flips the switch.

    Watch, my mom will totally be Team Jacob. EEWwwwww! That's wrong for so many reasons.

    ps did you guys get the pins?

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  10. "How's this for confession: I once kissed the lips off of my Kirk Cameron poster."

    You have just made me feel like a loser. I am no longer going to say what I was planning to say.

    xlfhgkdfhdf

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  11. Yea..im obsessed too! hahaha! lol im trying to cover my bedroom ceiling with posters! its goin great! I got an Edward movie poster..and hung it right above my bed! EDWARD WATCHES ME WHILE I SLEEP!! AUGH!!! lol..i guess i am about 15 years younger than you tho...lol! hahaha

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  12. Yes JJ I was once a Kirk Cameron freak. I can't even say fan, I had my Tiger Beat poster of him taped to the backside of my desk at school! As I'm typing this my coolness lever is dropping dramatically, I know.

    @Lisa Collins - I'm the freak who once sucked face with a poster and you feel like the loser?? LOL Now I'm really curious as to what you were going to say...

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  13. No posters, but I have the Mini E.
    Other than musicians (Simon LeBon, baby!), I didn't have teeny-bopper crushes either.
    NKOTB were popular AFTER I was out
    of high school...wow, I said it.

    A friend & I were talking the other
    day at work and I showed her my Mini E. She said, "Is that? Is THAT Edward from 'Twilight'?? OMG! I am
    stepping down from my Freak Pedestal. You deserve the position at the top now. Wave your flag high, and oh yeah, Go Team Edward!"

    Kindred spirits, I tell ya!

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  14. I have to hang my head in shame. I had a huge crush on Jonathan Brandis (Maybe it was the floppy hair?). He plastered my teen walls until I went "goth" (we are not here to judge). Yeah I was a very awkward teen.

    And now when I though I was on my way to being an "adult" I find myself making a shrine to Robward in my closet (the S/O would have a shit fit if I put it anywhere else), wearing twilight pj's, and ordering a mini E. Atleast I'm in good company!

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  15. Well...how about this? I totally kissed the lips of Rob on the cover of GQ (damn he looks so fine in that picture) and I am 34 years old!!! I can't believe I even bought GQ. I went to the teen section in the liabary and checked out a book about Rob's life. When I go to Hot Topic to get my fix I tell the clerk I am buying things for my niece. I have watched Twilight not less than 68 times! I have daydreams that I meet Rob on the street and he becomes so infactuated with me that he completely overlooks the fact that I am 11 years older than him (and married with a kid!) My husband makes fun of me and my son tells me I am acting like a "sassy teenager". I feel your pain Jenny. But hey...life is short...and this makes me happy!

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  16. OMG ... you are too funny! Ok so I may have had a Kirk Cameron or Corey Haim poster back in the day ... but I also had pics of Def Leppard & Guns N Roses! This is my first celebrity crush (except for maybe a small Leonardo DiCaprio one during the Titanic years)...But being that I am also 31 years old I find it really funny that I am now spending free time in my day looking up a 23 year old! Damn you Rob Pattinson!(as you said before)!

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  17. You say all of this like it is a bad thing! I so understand what you are saying and don't see anything wrong with it. I see it as getting in touch with your innerself! or some horseshit like that.

    U go girl!

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  18. I've had my share of celebrity crushes. But they were all warmups for His Holy Robness.

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  19. @JJ - You funny cow! hahaYou guys make my day.

    Don't feel bad because we all feel the same as you..... All nutty Twitards together, now doesn't that make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside???? Pour me another better still leave the bloody bottle :)

    I feel like we should call this a T.A. meeting - Twitarded Anonymous in session, please stand and tell us your name:
    Hello my name is Limey, I love The Twilight Saga and have a Mega huge Cougar Crush on RPattz.

    I did however, feel the same towards Tom Cruise in Top Gun (Maverick), soo bloody lovely but then he went all Sci-fi-entologybollocks weird and started jumping on couches with his shoes on.... So that put an end to that! I'm just waiting for RPattz to do something to shatter the bubble but hope it won't be too soon. Hopefully never, but this is Hollywood, so look out!

    @K-in-the-FLo - until your clit falls off. haha Bloody fantastic!Couldn't have said it better myself. Touche!

    Clit crunchers of the world unite!

    :)

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  20. Hi, I have just been a lurker here but love the blog and have to comment today.

    I am 38 and obsessed... here is how I justify...

    When I was 16 I was all about being a grown up... couldn't wait... job, house, children...the works. I never acted like I was 16.

    Well, now I'm 38 and I am going to act 16 for a while and enjoy this unexpected lovely celebrity crush!! Thank you Robert for making me feel young at heart again!!!

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  21. @Limey_1996 - Clit crunchers of the world unite!

    LOL you fucking crack me up!!

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  22. Thanks for validating the crazy, i'm still working on playing the soundtrack at work over the loud speakers... not sure i'll ever grow the pair to do it, but after this, i might be one step closer.

    maybe not, i blame linkin park.

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  23. Jenny, you and I were separated at birth! Something about obssessing over this man is so wrong and yet so right.

    Alayne, I'm the same age and can totally relate to not living out my youth at the right time. I'm not "regressing"; I'm "unconditionally and irrevocably" in lust with Rob--mostly his giggly, neurotic, artistic side. (I swear.) His bod and that face, those eyes, those lips, . . . *heart palpitations* . . . I'll take it all.

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  24. Um...yeah, you basically just described my life. And I am not nearly as embarrassed as I should be.

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  25. LOL, I've only recently found this blog (where the feck have I been?!) and it's the shiz!
    I can totally relate to the more pictures of Rob than myself and those being wallpapers to my laptop, mp3 player, cell phone, etc.
    P.s. I had a crush on Emilio in Young Guns too... and Keifer and Lou ;)

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  26. 1st - I clicked the LINK!!! and then almost forgot that I hadn't finished reading your post! Damn you Rob! you in a blue hoodie! I think I forgot my name of second!

    2nd - Once I was at Robsessed, I was oogling/drooling/ect. over some set pics....Kashmir by Zepp came on. Let me tell you that song plus pic's of Rob damn near gave me a heart attack!!! That song needs to play every time he walks into a room!

    3rd - I still have a box with all the posters, books ect from my prepubescent days! I use to kiss JTT and Taylor Hanson goodnight. (please don't kick me out of the Twitard club...I don't think anyone else will take me)

    My 60 year old mommy gasp and clutched her chest at the GQ pic of Rob! She is crushing haaaard!

    <3 you girls!

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  27. I did have posters on my wall as a teenager, but they weren't of a boy band. I'd tell you the name of the band, but then I'd date myself and have to cry. Let's just put it this way: it was a LONG time ago.

    I really don't understand my Rob fixation, and I'm trying to keep DH from finding out about it. I have a Mini E now, too, and secret stashes of Rob pics. I almost got busted after I added a picture to my Twitter background. DH asked me, "Who's the guy in the baseball cap." Me: "Oh, it's just that guy that plays Edward in Twilight."

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  28. OMG now i'm shocked! You had to look up Paul Walker! Oye! I'm going to have to start sending you pics of him daily or atleast once a week! I need to spread the obsession love..LOL Before Kellan Lutz (yeah so i'm team emmett shoot me) and Rob Pattz it was just me and my obsession w/ Paul Walker. One that the hubby fed willingly by buying me movies he played in.. I love watching him.. eh.. He makes me giddy..

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  29. OK Twitards I have been rolling around in nature (the woods of Washington State no less right by namesake Mt. Rainier--no Cullens sorry) all weekend and now I am back to civilization and I have some things to share. Sorry if I get wordy but my Twitard tongue has been gagged for the weekend and when that happens I get a wee bit edgy.

    I have to point out a distinct difference here. I personally feel that crushing on a band boy/musician is TOTALLY different than crushing on an actor/celebrity. When I was a teen it was all about the cute boys in the band....some of mine were rather obscure....Roddy Frame from Aztec Camera, Ian McCullough from Echo and the Bunnymen, Suggs from Madness, Tom from the Thompson Twins (I may or may not have kissed him on the cheek) and yes, the old man himself, David Bowie (he still makes me swoon--deal with it). Am I giving away my age yet? These were the posters on my wall and I may or may not have kissed them multiple times. I most definitely crushed on actor celebrities as well (yay for Christian Slater--holy hotness back then) but I never had posters of actor celebrities on my wall. Soooo, why is it that RPattz brings this out in us? Is it, perhaps, the musical link? Who knows. Who cares.

    Just know JJ that you clearly are not alone and I fear there may be no real explanation for all this. I think we will all soon be part of some big psychological study...or committed. I am right there with you all and I have no idea why but it makes me happy and that is simply enough for me.

    Damn you RPAttz! and Thank you RPattz! I heart you.

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  30. I was a Donnie Osmond, David Cassidy, Rick Sprinfield and yes (hunkering down) a Davey Jones freak and now that you know my age here I am, at my NEW age and have it worse for RPay than I do for George Clooney.Gawd forgive me George but with eyes, lips, hair, and button fly jeans I just had to turn.

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  31. Let's just say that my first celeb crush was not a "Puppy Love" and leave it at that! :-P

    I call the area around my computer "The Twilight Zone"...got my books, video, my "Sexy Stars of Twilight" from Us and my Mini-Edward. I tell people that it is an Edward Cullen action figure, not a Rob Pattison doll...that would be life size!

    I mentioned to a friend recently that I was going through my second adolesence. He said how can I go through my second when I haven't left my first one??



    "How old are you?"
    "17"
    "How long have you been 17?"
    "Awhile..."

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  32. Thank you so much for articulating my feelings! I too have a corporate cube (not office) plastered with Rob and everyone thinks I'm nuts. Rob is my first, my only, the best. Maybe he really isn't human and has cast a spell on us all. Who knows, I just know that I like it.
    Lisa in MN

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  33. Man, you guys always sum it up so well- look at all of us spilling our girl crushes and dating ourselves...

    Believe me, girl- I liked NKOTB, but it didn't make me any cooler than the next girl. I don't think my crushes on Rick Astley or Gopher from the Love Boat helped either, though.

    But, like you, I've never been one to ogle over celebs. I refuse to give them the satisfaction.

    But DAMM that Mr. Hunky Spunk- can't get him off the brain! And posts like this only feed my insanity! Damm you , Jenny!

    Oh, and thank you! ;)

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  34. LOL! A friend and I were out with some people Rob's age the other night. She mentioned having a crush on Rick Springfield when she was a kid and I told her I still did!

    We yammered on for about 10 minutes about Rick, "Jesse's Girl" and his role as Noah Drake on General Hospital when we noticed that several of the 20-somethings had no idea who we were talking about.

    That depressed me.....

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  35. First off...have to say, I love you guys!! You make me laugh so hard everyday! I have never commented but felt compelled today...I too have NEVER had a real actor crush/obsession until RPattz! Sure I had a few posters of Rob Lowe and John Taylor in the very early days...NEVER NKOTB (at that point it was more The Cure and Depeche Mode for me!) I have also always thought that Johnny Depp was hot, but I could't tell you anything about him...I don't know what it is about Rob that has turned me into a 14 year old??? I have to find out everything I can about him...so strange...I bought the US weekly Twilight mag thinking that I would just give the posters to my neice - whatever - I'm keeping those - they are HOT! Just glad to hear I am not the only one who is new to this whole obsession thing!

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  36. JJ, you're not alone in your regression into teendom. I did plaster my walls with (I'm not telling who) when I was fourteen, but still I act like a fourteen year old because of this man at age 26. I don't think I ever got it out of my system... or something? Who knows. All I know is, Rob is FUCKHOT and that fact causes much distraction and giddiness in my life.
    p.s. I never used to say things like "fuckhot"... thanks Rob.

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  37. OMG OMG OMG...this is so much fun - reading all of you...
    @ToTwicat...the adolescence:
    "How old are you?"
    "17"
    "How long have you been 17?"
    "Awhile..."
    NOW THAT - is PERFECT..That's my new Mantra. Bam. Done. Thank You!
    @Twilight Moonlighter - If i had been drinking anything - it would have gushed with "Gofer from the loveboat"..now that was a risky admission and I heart you for it.
    @VitaminR - "who knows? who cares." So true. so simple. right?
    @Lathckey if we were 15 right now - we would have sooooo much fun! but our grades would really suck...and we'd have part of our 15 minutes of fame when the Twiworld would reprimand us for attacking Rob on the set of RM. We would be outcasts with sucky grades. Not good..but fun.
    You all slay me and I'm smilin..even though i don't know many of those you have all been crushed out on - and feelin a lil old in yrs but not at heart (and other body parts).
    JJ - you bring this out in all of us...and i heart you bigtime for it.

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  38. @Limey_1996 TA in session..LOL...Hello my name is K_InTheFlo, I love The Twilight Saga and have a Mega huge Cougar Crush on RPattz.

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  39. Wasn't sure I would post until I saw Anon... so here's my Twitard confession:
    When I was really young it was Bobby Sherman and when I was 15 I had an 8x10 glossy of Paul Michael Glaser by my bed. (I always liked older men), but then it was Shawn Cassidy for quite some time. But none of them were quite the obsession today: I refer to it laughingly as my mid-life crisis when friends look too concerned.
    I feel your pain/pleasure, JJ.
    I'm old enough to be his mother, for God's sake, but strangely, I don't feel old ... rather I feel in my 20's again which is why I don't let myself feel too creepy about my infatuation. Raw sex appeal is sex appeal at any age, and that doofus Zac Efron does not have it. Period. You can see Rob being edible at 40 like George Clooney, but not the Jonas Bros. so much, right??
    All right, I've done my rationalization for the night - thanks (as always!) for the forum. - Suz.

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  40. I am glad I'm not the only 30-something that is acting like a 14-something!!

    I have to stop myself from going to google at work because once I start I don't stop which leads to a very unproductive day!

    and here I go again

    your fellow-obsessive-compulsive-Robward-addict

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  41. My Rob-related temper tantrum:

    http://www.twilightmoonlighter.com/2009/06/rob-related-temper-tantrum.html

    Jenny- what have you and these pics spurred in me? Insane jealous fangirl gone wild....

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  42. LMFAO! I love you two! I am 32, mom of 3 and I too love, love, love Robward - I even carry the Eddie doll in my purse....yeah, the kids love that!! My BFF and I have loads of fun with, *cough* the doll - shit, that sounds bad! Thanks for making us feel "normal".

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  43. this post made my day.i am so happy that i am not the only one going crazy about my rob obsession. I google him like every hour at work and this has been going on for like 7 months already. I try not to but it's so hard to resist. I also didn't have any celebrity crush when I was in my teen years. Btw, I am 33 years old and married. Shirtless rob in Italy is my screen saver and wall paper. My colleagues know who robert pattinson is and I am the only non-Chinese speaking in the office. My husband has agreed to watch all of Rob Pattinson's movies with me. Thanks for sharing. You rock!!!

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  44. Ms J is draggin me to a NKOTB concert this weekend...she was one of "those freaks"-and I agreed to go with her to that if she went to Kathy Griffin with me. But I will be taking Mini E, I figure-I will have already lost all "coolness" when I walk in the doors there, so why not bring him along. "Whoooa ooooa ooooa oooooa ooooa ...hangin' tough"

    Aimee: Paul Walker..drool drool. I especially like the movie where he is banging the chick on the washing machine...Y.U.M. I think Ryan Reynolds can be pretty easy on the eyes too!

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  45. JJ (or should I call you Jenny Contrary?):

    I'm going to make the argument that your current behavior is exactly in line with your behavior back then -- you rebel. You are going against the "conventional" norms and saying "Fuck you, I'll obsess over anyone I want." This is exactly in line with how you behaved back in the day. So at least you can say you are consistent.

    I was not immune to the Tiger Beat/Duran Duran/Stand By Me River Phoenix craze. And then I remember that Stand By Me came out the same year that RPattz was born and it is just on the verge of depressing. But then you have to say, “who gives a shit?!” He’s on my laminated card, so I get a free pass in the fidelity department if I’m ever so lucky to get my hands on him. Huzzah!

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  46. Omg you describe exactly how i feel at the moment! i´m so happy that i´m apparently not alone, which makes me feel sooo much better :-) Thanks to JJ, STY and all your Twitarded chicks out there!

    During my teenage years a just had a phase where i loved the NKOTB boys, but also this was just half-hearted, i´ve never been at a concert, i never wanted to have an autograph or something like this. I mean, i never cared soooo much about celebrities. Actually it was not so bad, that internet didn´t exist at that time!

    Internet helps really a lot with such an obsession. Good that we have it now, just imaging you would be without!!!

    Now i´m so glad to find people in the internet which are as crazy (or even more) as i am! I mean, have to admit that i even dream about this guy, heeellooooo?? with my husband lying next to me, THIS is fucking crazy, really! ;-)
    I read this books 5 times, i´ve seen this movie god knows how many times and when i´m not reading THIS books i start reading FanFics to feed my obsession! All my bookmarks a full with Twilight-blogs, - news, -gossip and RPatzzzzz!!!!

    So this time is definitely something special and honestly, i wouldn´t do something else and i wouldn´t miss it !

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  47. I never thought I would comment, but I couldn't pass this one up. Thanks everyone for making me see I'm not alone in my Twilight/Edward/Rob obsession. Seriously, I thought I was going to have to go therapy.
    I was a huge Shaun Cassidy fan (loved The Hardy Boys), but this obsession seems much worse than that - maybe it's cause I can imagine all the dirty things I would do with Rob!!!

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  48. Teen crushes included:
    Tony DeFranco
    Donny Osmond
    Bay City Rollers (hangs head in shame)
    Leif Garrett

    Oh god I'm old... The Bay City Rollers thing was short lived after seeing them in concert (watching two guys hug each other was a little weird) and yes I lamely went to the concert dressed in a plaid getup... I can't believe I'm confessing this...

    I haven't had any crush's in years and if you would have asked me before November of last year I wouldn't have dreamed of doing any of the things that I've been doing of late. My hubby swears I've reverted back into a fourteen year old, and Yah it kind of feels like it. I have the posters I just haven't crossed the threshold to put them up yet. It’s good to know that I’m not alone in my twitarness.

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  49. I feel like you jumped in my head, stole my thoughts and memories and wrote them into this post. That's all I have to say about that.

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  50. this was beyond hysterical and hit WAY TOO close to home

    34, um, yeah....too old for this shit

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  51. i am seriously having trouble picturing u dressing as cindy lauper, JJ.

    i feel bad for my mom now that i think about it, she got hit with an nsync hurrricane with me. and no, i will not be embarassed to admit it. im secure enough with my inner teeny bopper to fess up to that. ALTHOUGH my twilight addication has quickly come to the same levl, if not greater than the nsync thing. in fact, twilight is here to stay, and nsync faded as ai grew, although mr. timberlake's hotness is still around...... rob is still fucken sexier tho

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  52. I feel EXACTLY(I thought I was reading my own story) the same way and i'm 41yrs old! It's crazy I know but oh well what can you do but continue to obsess over him he is just so gorgeous!!!

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  53. I had no idea there were as many 40-something chicks on here! I feel marginally better - and after reading this post last night, guess who I dreamed about? My poor 7-year-old asked if I was going to marry Rob after I replaced her picture with his on my desktop wallpaper. (Bad, bad, horny mommy!)
    By the way - what's the movie with Paul Walker and the washing machine? There was no sex in 'Eight Below' - I would have remembered that! Thanks for the validation, ladies! - Suz

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  54. Just when I think your posts can't get any better!

    I am soon to be 38 and back in my early teens days my BFF and I were gaga over the Beatles (esp. Paul) when all our friends loved Duran Duran and Wham. Then in 1986 the Monkees staged this weird 20th anniversary comeback and we both got sucked in to the recycled Tiger Beat hype. (can you guess that we were both major losers with no boyfriends until college?) My literary leanings as a teen were toward Anne of Green Gables.

    So when I look at my obsession with Twilight the book/Edward Cullen the character- I can see that SM modeled her character after Gilbert Blythe from Anne. My obsession with RPattz falls in line with my leanings toward British men.

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  55. Hello...my name is Nicole and I am a Robaholic.

    I am also in my 30's and I am obsessed with Twilight and especially Rob. My husband thinks I'm nuts! I have loved reading your blog and everyones comments. I was beginning to think I might be crazy also....lol.. but I now know I am not alone in this. :)

    I was even in NYC last week on vacation. Hoping of course that I would somehow "accidentally" run into Rob while there, but no such luck.

    Does anyone else have to hurry and close this screen when there husband comes into the room? LOL...Damn him he keeps coming in.

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  56. It is said that women hit their sexual peak in their thirties and men in their twenties. So in point of fact thirty-year-old women should find twenty-year-old men much more irresitible (sexually at any rate). It's in the DNA...you know survival of the species and all that.

    (Well, I may have just barely reached thirty but that's my story and I'm sticking to it!)

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  57. I'm going to date myself here. My teen crush was on Shawn and David Cassidy from the Partridge Family! Gaagaa-Googoo! I'm clocking 46, married, with a grandson. Heck, my daughter could date RPattz if she wasn't already married! Yikes!

    I have never, ever blogged in my life. I'm the closet Twi-crack Addict who's been lurking around the different website seeking solice that there are others out there like myself.

    RPattz is completely and utterly gorgeous! HELL YES!! Deelish!!! Easy on the eyes and everything in-between! LITERRALY IN-BETWEEN!!!!Although I don't have posters and dolls to comfort me, he's been in my dreams a lot lately! Keep me dreamin'!!!!

    Fortunately, I have a grounded husband who finds all this quite humurous and has been up for some healthy competition.

    Rock on JJ! Your not alone.

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  58. I'll fess up, I've had several celebrity crushes over my (ahem) nearly 42 years..the longest being my relationship that is nearly 35 years old with Paul McCartney. Poor Paul is probably jealous over my severe crush on Rob/Edward.

    seriously, I have a son who is 17 and his 3 best friends are 20 and I look at them acting like weiners at my house and I'm all like-hmmm, Rob is only 3 years older than these guys, and then I get a little freaked out.

    BUT it doesn't deter me :)

    I laughed out loud over the Emilio comment and the reminder of the Edward action fig in your bag ;)
    LOL

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  59. Daaaaammnnn! Well, it's safe to say that I am DEFINITELY not alone. LOL!

    Do you have that friend who, every time he or she gets drunk, starts telling everyone in their near vicinity how much they love them?

    Well, I'm stone cold sober but... I LOVE YOU GUYS!!! Muhwa!

    I am laughing so hard at your comments!! You guys are hysterical. And I LOVE the fact that the celeb crushes go from The Beatles and the Partridge Family all the up to 'Nsync and, of course, our lovely Robward. LOL!

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  60. I'm 33 and have 2 kids. I have an Edward scroll on my bedroom wall and a poster on my freaking ceiling. Scares the hell out of my cat. I have every know merchandise product, including 2 fleece blankets cause one had to stay pristine in the bag. My cube also looks as if my 12 year old decorated it for me.... And I love every freakin' inch of it!!

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  61. Anonymous: The Paul Walker Movie was Running Scared...I don't remember much about the movie except for him and the washer...mmm mmm mmm!

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  62. Thank you Ms. M - I may have to look for it at the video store, then go do some laundry, of course! (Bad, bad horny mommy.) - Suz

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  63. Amen sister! It's like "reading into a mirror". I feel just the same. I am a 40 year old crazy obsessed Rob fan too! You rock. We all rock!

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  64. I have been in love before. Justin Timberlake and the rest of NSYNC will always have a place in my heart.

    When I bought my Sexy Stars of Twilight mag the other day and was ripping out the posters like my like depended on it, I was like, "Hmm... I was 13 the last time I did this. Oh well!"

    I love you guys.

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  65. @Ms.M--love, love your profile photo. Damn I think I might just have to get that silly mini-Bella now.

    @anonymous @amcmunn--totally forgot about the Shaun Cassidy obsession. I was in 3rd grade then and got into a kicking fight with my friend over him. I still have tape recorded interviews that I pretend did with him and talked to him about his girlfriend (me, of course)--they are hysterical.

    All these new names here--welcome to all you newbies!

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  66. Jenny thanks for the post. I'm a 33 yr old mom w/four non teenage kids so I have no excuse but my own obsession. I was a Kiefer fan so the pic cracked me up. I have fallen for twilight hard and my D/H is a little freaked. I do have to say I lucked out though he is my own personal Edward/Rob my hubby looked like him in his 20's no it is like looking at our old photos. I have been following your post for a while I die from laughter a little each time. Keep it up!

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  67. @Red_Bella...

    Regarding Bay City Rollers....





    ....my favourite was Woody.....

    :-P

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  68. Dear Jenny:
    I LAL with your confession.This psychosis doesn´t respect languages, boundaries, ages ... I´m from Argentine, and every day I check the daily news about our dear RP. I check them on way to work, at work, come back home, at home ... every time!!!! I know more about RP than news of my country!!! (I haven´t time enought to) and, obviusly, I prefer RP news... I have much more pics of him than my family in my personal computer. I didn´t buy twilight stuffs because they don´t sell them here (I think). But I´m listening all day Twilight songs with lyrics I can´t understand very well. Not even I was younger and Luis Miguel was the latin top (he´s my age) I never, ever, did things like that. So ... what have you done to me, Rob!!!

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  69. @Ms. M

    If memory serves correctly he also banged a chick on a washer (or was attempting to) in Varsity Blues.. LOL.. Running Scared was a damn good movie! Hmmm.. more than made my heart stop.. He made other parts come to life.. LOL

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  70. Aimee, now if only Rpatz would make a movie like that...YUMMA!!!

    LOL!

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  71. JJ - I am so right there with you, girl.
    I love having this crush on Rob. What I don't love is being about 5 glasses of wine into a dinner with some executives from my husband's office when one of the other wives asked everyone at the table what celebrity would they have sex with (yes the conversation went there) and without hesitation I said Robert Pattinson. Damn loose wine lips! That's the closest I've ever come to being 'outed'!

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  72. wait...that last sentence should have ended with 'as a huge Twilight fan'

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  73. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  74. You are my soul sister! I had written a confession awhile back (and added you later). I wasn't brave enough to post it until now. :D

    http://groovininthesun.blogspot.com/2009/06/confessions-of-robaholic.html

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  75. I have come to validate you my friend. You are in no way weird. Set stalking IS NORMAL. All of the twifeelings you have for Edward are rational....many of us have them....on a daily basis. Sometimes all day.

    *looks down at feet*

    I sent RP a letter. To the British address.

    *kicks shoe at floor*

    I know he probably won't get it. But I was compelled.

    *blinks wildly*

    I fought the urge for 5 weeks. I couldn't stand it anymore.

    I was so relieved when the man at the post office didn't look at me all fangirl weird.

    So see, you are NOT alone lol.

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  76. Ok - I just discovered your blog last night and this post was the first one I read. I laughed my ass off and have gone to the beginning to read all of your posts. I called my sister in the middle of the night to read her this post & you had her rollin! I want to get an Edward doll just to see what kind of pictures I could get with him! Not only do I have to conceal the intensity of my obsession with everything Twilight from my DH - I now have to hide my obsession with reading this blog! I have tried, unsuccessfully, to pretend like I am reading something else, I can't cover up the tears streaming down my face & the frequent outbursts of uncontrolable laughter! THANK YOU SOOOOO much for this blog!

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  77. My first and only celeb crush has been Donny Osmond and now I'm hopelessly obsessed with Rob, to the great amusement of my husband and kids. I don't know what it is about him that makes my heart beat frantically and start thinking about the all the things we could do together (I guess the fan-fic addiction isn't helping either). This is just so wrong on so many levels, but I don't care :)

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  78. Whoa - first Twitarded, then no kids, then Man Man, now this? I am seriously karmically connected to you somehow! Separated only by geography apparently, above are all instances where I went 'I LOVE YOU' in my head. Although my musical tastes ran to Pink Floyd and the Doors before the Femmes and NIN. But seriously, I too had no crushes on any celebrity, and now I'm all wha the fuck?? But it's cause we all fell in love with Edward a bit, and he didn't wreck the portrayal. Lethal combo. We're all screwed.

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  79. I loved that...you just described every computer I own and my office and quite a bit of my life now. I just saw him in person and I wanted to tackle him but I did not. Can't wait to check out the rest of your blog!!

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  80. My first, and really only hard-core celebrity crush was Gary Oldman. I sweated that man real bad when I was in junior high. This was before the proliferation of the internet so I rented every movie he was in, saw every new movie opening weekend. Tracked down obsure interviews and anything he was tied to. Carried a laminated photo of him as Sid around in my wallet for years. Even stole the poster to Immortal Beloved from the local video store (and yes, I may have kissed it once or twice - ok maybe more as it didn't make the trek with me to college).

    Now with Twilight and Robward, the desire to accumulate related stuff is even greater. Photos, pins, posters and now even water bottles - I can't get enough. I am officially dazzled.

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  81. Oh my. Oh my. I know, I'm a year after you originally post this entry but I feel compel to comment. I am still trying to hide my addiction.  I simply don’t understand what’s going on with me, why I love all things related to twilight and Robert. I find myself still googling for news on both (which are often similar news), and it’s been like that for over 6 months (my addiction started only last fall (2009)). I NEVER DID THAT BEFORE. The only poster I ever had up in my room, I believe I was 10-11 years old, and it was Micheal Jackson, beat it/triller time. Now, I am a 34 mother who have read a teen book and seen the movie several times, and obsessed about a 24 years old actor. God! I am happy to ready that I am not alone! Although I not sure it really helps me understand... !
    Thanks for your post!

    Roxie2602

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  82. Oh my. Oh my. I know, I'm a year after you originally post this entry but I feel compel to comment. I am still trying to hide my addiction.  I simply don’t understand what’s going on with me, why I love all things related to twilight and Robert. I find myself still googling for news on both (which are often similar news), and it’s been like that for over 6 months (my addiction started only last fall (2009)). I NEVER DID THAT BEFORE. The only poster I ever had up in my room, I believe I was 10-11 years old, and it was Micheal Jackson, beat it/triller time. Now, I am a 34 mother who have read a teen book and seen the movie several times, and obsessed about a 24 years old actor. God! I am happy to ready that I am not alone! Although I not sure it really helps me understand... !
    Thanks for your post!

    Roxie2602

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  83. My first, and really only hard-core celebrity crush was Gary Oldman. I sweated that man real bad when I was in junior high. This was before the proliferation of the internet so I rented every movie he was in, saw every new movie opening weekend. Tracked down obsure interviews and anything he was tied to. Carried a laminated photo of him as Sid around in my wallet for years. Even stole the poster to Immortal Beloved from the local video store (and yes, I may have kissed it once or twice - ok maybe more as it didn't make the trek with me to college).

    Now with Twilight and Robward, the desire to accumulate related stuff is even greater. Photos, pins, posters and now even water bottles - I can't get enough. I am officially dazzled.

    ReplyDelete
  84. Whoa - first Twitarded, then no kids, then Man Man, now this? I am seriously karmically connected to you somehow! Separated only by geography apparently, above are all instances where I went 'I LOVE YOU' in my head. Although my musical tastes ran to Pink Floyd and the Doors before the Femmes and NIN. But seriously, I too had no crushes on any celebrity, and now I'm all wha the fuck?? But it's cause we all fell in love with Edward a bit, and he didn't wreck the portrayal. Lethal combo. We're all screwed.

    ReplyDelete
  85. Dear Jenny:
    I LAL with your confession.This psychosis doesn´t respect languages, boundaries, ages ... I´m from Argentine, and every day I check the daily news about our dear RP. I check them on way to work, at work, come back home, at home ... every time!!!! I know more about RP than news of my country!!! (I haven´t time enought to) and, obviusly, I prefer RP news... I have much more pics of him than my family in my personal computer. I didn´t buy twilight stuffs because they don´t sell them here (I think). But I´m listening all day Twilight songs with lyrics I can´t understand very well. Not even I was younger and Luis Miguel was the latin top (he´s my age) I never, ever, did things like that. So ... what have you done to me, Rob!!!

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  86. wait...that last sentence should have ended with 'as a huge Twilight fan'

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  87. this post made my day.i am so happy that i am not the only one going crazy about my rob obsession. I google him like every hour at work and this has been going on for like 7 months already. I try not to but it's so hard to resist. I also didn't have any celebrity crush when I was in my teen years. Btw, I am 33 years old and married. Shirtless rob in Italy is my screen saver and wall paper. My colleagues know who robert pattinson is and I am the only non-Chinese speaking in the office. My husband has agreed to watch all of Rob Pattinson's movies with me. Thanks for sharing. You rock!!!

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  88. LMFAO! I love you two! I am 32, mom of 3 and I too love, love, love Robward - I even carry the Eddie doll in my purse....yeah, the kids love that!! My BFF and I have loads of fun with, *cough* the doll - shit, that sounds bad! Thanks for making us feel "normal".

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