Thursday, January 14, 2010

That Trip to Forks is Gonna Cost Ya'...

I think there may have been a gasp, followed by a fuuuuuuuuuuuck yeah the other day when my occasionally more-practical counterpart, Snarkier Than You, admitted that she does indeed want to go to Forks. Like, desperately. FOOOOOOOORRRRRKKS!!!

And it's all admittedly my fault because - and I say this cheerfully - I know I can be a persuasive little bitch when I want something badly. She said "no," I heard "yes but I need heavy-handed convincing." ML calls this annoying. I call it an art form.

Sounds 'bout right.

Anyway, ever since the Big Announcement, STY and I have been emailing each other back and forth, deciding on what outfits we would bring or what kind of products we could use to keep our hair from bursting into a halo of frizz (frizz makes STY apoplectic). We've also been mulling over the merits of cute rainboots versus those Uggs that KStew wore in the movies. And are we sure there is a bar? Liquor store? Should we call them and tell them stock up?

For example:
To: Jenny Jerkface
From: Snarkier Than You
Re: Fooooooooooooooorks!

you, my dear, are going to have to help me pack because i usually just
throw everything i own into a huge suitcase and sort out the details
later. oh and i have to buy stuff for this trip. like cute rain gear and
boots.
To: Snarkier Than You
From: Jenny Jerkface
Re: Fooooooooooooooorks!

I will help you pack. I was hoping to only bring my backpack as a carry-on but that's not going to happen. I am a pro packer, jftr.
Poor bastard has no idea what she's asking. Despite the fact that I am ridiculously uber-fucking girly, I am fuckawesome at packing light. I've never traveled with STY before but I've seen her stuff. She has lots of it. I'm already forming my battle plan, in fact. I figure if I can't talk her out of bringing two straightening irons, I can just beat her with one of them and call it a day.

My luggage.


STY's luggage.

Hell, we even discussed what manner of wildlife roams the Hoh Forest and how STY will be sipping cocktails while I'm getting my throat ripped out by a mountain lion. In the end, I think I convinced her to go with me, though. After all, I only need to run faster than the slowest person... and neither one of us wants to man the blog solo, so we each have an interest in protecting the hide of the other [note to self: bring a slow person who I don't like very much].

Now that we've gotten the important things like hair products and rain boots hashed out , we even set a tentative date: somewhere in late August or early September. We'll pin this down soon, I promise.

HOWEVER. There is one key thing that STY has not decided on, and it's an important factor in our trip across the country.

She has not figured out how to break the news to Mr. Snarky. Which is very unlike her. It's safe to say he won't be amused (at all), let's put it that way. And frankly, she's not the only one dealing with this sticky wicket. Judging by your comments, STY is in good company and there are veritable scores of you who are also in the delicate position of convincing your spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend/what-have-you that making a pilgrimage to the rainiest fucking place in the US is not only sane, but you're doing it...without them.

Er, when I said I wanted to see Forks once in my life I didn't mean that...

I meant this! FOOOOOOOORKS!!!

Um, not to sound like I'm gloating but I've got freebies for about five weeks of spontaneous excursions such as this one. ML can't say shizzle to me about going to Forks. Not. One. Single. Word.

I'm finally getting my karmic retribution from when he went on tour with his band last summer for five weeks. And left me in an un-airconditioned apartment - we were in the process of buying a house - and I was packing ALL BY MYSELF, DESPITE THE FACT THAT WE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHERE WE WERE GOING AND HAD THE VERY REAL POSSIBILITY OF ENDING UP FUCKING HOMELESS.

Oh, and did I mention that he was extremely... unreachable while he was on tour? So yeah. Not a word. But remind me to tell you about the time he called to regale me with his tales of swimming in natural springs and drinking 'til dawn while I was suffering a serious case of swamp ass and packing up his Grandmother's dishes. [Yup. I'm over this. I swear. Oh, fuck it, I think STY wanted to kill him last summer, too.]

Anyhoodle, because I'm purely a selfish creature and I want each and every one of you to come, I've been thinking of ways to help out. Unfortunately, I'm so broke I'm considering selling off some of the shit ML has down in the basement so I can't help any of you out in the department. So, all I can do is offer a few suggestions to those of you who might be having issues letting the S/O know you're going to Forks, Washington.

And here's what I've come up with:

1) Lotsa
2) Blow
3) Jobs
4) 2 1/2 Words - World of Warcraft. Dudes, I've heard that this is highly addictive and if he's super busy trying to beat the Gorgonzola Priest on level 39.85, he won't even notice you're gone. Good luck weaning him off of it when you get home.
5) Nintendo, Atari, Wii, xbox, whatever - see above. Pretty much the same thing.
6) Blow jobs (did I mention BJs?)
7) fellatio
8) Give head
9) Give a hummer (and not that massive truck-y thing, either!)

Fuck it, tell him you're going to Forks while his dick is occupying your mouth. He'll say yesssssss to anything then. And then later you can act mad when he says you didn't tell him and doesn't recall thinking it was a swell idea. Wait, what? Tell me I didn't cross that line I've heard rumors about!

Good luck, Twitards. You might want to grab some knee pads...

Let us know in the comments if you have any tricks & tips you want to share!

Fooooooooooooooooooooorks!!!

83 comments:

  1. The best thing about being single? I don't need anyone's fucking permission! Can't wait til y'all have dates set because I'm actually contemplating a trip to Washington State this year anyhoo.

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  2. I'm so pulling the 40th birthday card... I wanna go to forks so there! I'm not happy about turning 40 and I think this will make it all better!

    Ok probably have to give multiple bjs too but that's ok. As long as I'm not required to give a rusty trombone or Alabama hot pocket!

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  3. I.am.dying. right norw. It was like u were reading my mind and the emails between me and Nabs the past few days. I have decided to wait just a bit beforebreaking it to Mr GP and easing my way in with blow jobs and letting him buy whatever he wants for his car while simultaneously whoring myself out to do portraits at a fucking steal of a price to start saving up. Anyone in the st. Louis area need newborn pics or portraits done? We will b there even if I have to tie him up and hide him in the woods until I come back. Forks or bust.....or is it Forks or Divorce!

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  4. Here's the kicker in my deal...told my hubby I was going (didn't ask) but have asked my friends to go with me and so far no one wants to go!!! Obviously they are not the fans I thought they were. So anyway, the hubby actually offered to go with me...I was like dude, you are going to be with 100 drunk, pantiless, rob talking women...oh wait, sounds perfect! Maybe I could get him a "I like Edward's disco stick" t-shirt...that would be a great picture...one dude with a million dorks in forks...freakin' awesome....Oh Lord maybe not, anyone from Utard that wants to go?? I'm re-thinking this hubby thing!!! lol

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  5. Okay so this evening I brought this up with Mr. CC. No, there was not a dick in my mouth. Anywho his answer was essentially "sure why not? sounds like fun" I nearly crapped my pants. No begging, no reasoning, no pleading. Couldn't fucking believe it. I'm going. YAY!

    FFFFFFFFFFFOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKSSSSSSSSSSSS.

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  6. Can't wait to hear the dates! My BF can suck it up and just deal that I'm going.....again!

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  7. I can see the Twilight Examiner article now...."Blogger Advises Followers to Give BJs For Travel Rights To Forks, WA.". Best trip funding idea EVER! Hopefully 'Forks' doesn't come out sounding like 'Fucks' when um, err, um..well you know. Good luck Twitards and Happy Trails to all of you!

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  8. Oh how could I forget.....
    FFFFOOOOORRRRRRKKKKKSSSSS!!!!!!!!!

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  9. WAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!! I WANT TO GO!!!!! but NOOOOOOO i have to go to VEGAS...... i mean really, who would choose to go to VEGAS over FOOOOOORRRRRRRKKKKKKKSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!! i know crazy huh?????? but ya know ive got this "non refundable ticket" and shit, oh well there is always next year, course hubby said i can still give him the blow job..... just laughed at him....keep dreaming, no tripy no licky!!!!!!! and SNY im with ya on the packing babe,i alwaaaaayyyys take 3 times more shit than i should,but if i divorce the s/o between now and then i just may join yall!!!!!

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  10. What the fuck is a hummer? I'm serious. I DON'T KNOW. Do I need one?

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  11. My SO can just suck it up.

    He was in vegas in December. Without me. In a five star hotel suite. Fucker.


    FFFFFFFFFOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRKKKKKKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS here we come!!!

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  12. because i'm looking out for you, just so you know, there is a liquor store in forks:

    http://www.liq.wa.gov/services/searchresults.asp

    they're all state run in washington and have sort of lame hours, but there is one in forks at least. i can't help you out with the bar scene though, sorry.

    oh but ps: you can still get wine and beer in the grocery store or corner store, gas station, whatever. just not good stuff.

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  13. I don't have to ask exactly ~ he pretty much goes with whatever I want... we will however be in the middle of a cross country move.
    (Northern NY to southern CA)
    I guess if I get lucky I will already be in CA and get to miss all the unpacking fun!

    @ Myg ~ that's fucking awsome!!
    They are all pretty much the same.
    Welcome to TWITARDED ~ boy will you learn alot here!

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  14. I'll be there in 2011, a year too late. That's ok. I'll be with 2 other members of the Saga Mafia.

    I will be expecting to see the most hilarious posts and pics from your trip so make sure you drink a lot! Drunk pics are the best.

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  15. YOU CAN BUY WINE IN GAS STATIONS?! Oh, so you mean it's like every other fucking state EXCEPT New Jersey. Seriously, NJ has the worst booze laws - you can booze at a liquor store. End of story.

    FOOOOOOOOOOORKS.

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  16. See, I wouldn't have asked. I would have just said, "Honey, I'm taking off for a week in September to go to Forks, Washington with a bunch of cyber Twilight friends." and he'd have to deal with it.

    (sitting alone in her apartment wondering why she's still single.....)

    But a moot point for me anyway. Looks like I won't be able to make this trip. I'm heading back to BC end of June for Eclipse and more time with my girls there...

    (GSO WONDER-WOMAN!! WANNA COME WITH ME THIS TIME??)

    Got a wedding in July, another in September and possibly back to BC in October for a third....

    I expect lots of pictures on the Twitarded fan page on FB!

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  17. My husband has been taking hunting trips with his buddies for years. We've been married 29 years. I'm not asking. I'm telling.

    FFFFFFFFFFOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRKKKKKKKKKKSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!

    @Cullenary Curser - Can't believe you didn't email me with this info!

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  18. I am fortunate enough to have a lovely other who enjoys travels as much as I do even though we often cannot go together...which is why I recently booked a ticket to PDX and said C'ya!

    How to convince Mr. Snarky? Well, firstly, this is for the blog- right? Right. So, it's sort of work-like related. I mean shit, I have a Twitarded mug in my house, in fact - I have TWO so it's certainly more than a damn journal. Also, STY would be going with her partner-in-Twi... I might not mention a cyber meet-up, that might make him leery about stranger danger...and Bella was right when she said you CANNOT get in trouble in Forks, unless you choose to go (way) off the park paths like my sister and I did (THANK YOU RANGER BEN for not hauling us in).

    *Mini-E will have a whole slew of authentic photos. Yeehaw!

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  19. Oh yeah! The only real hiccup I see for my plans is the fact that a LOT of crap is going on this year already. But it's FFFFFFFFFFOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRKKKKKKKKKKSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!

    And also-- isn't it possible to order liquor online and have a whole case delivered to each of our rooms?

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  20. Yay!
    I also am currently without a SO, so no need for me to stock up on knee pads. ;o)

    My birthday is Sept 9 so I will totally treat this as an early bday present.

    Plus Canada has to represent right? And Mini-E really wants to go on a road trip and meet other Mini-Es.

    FFFFFFFFFFOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRKKKKKKKKKKKSSSSSSSSS!!!!!

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  21. i am afraid my husband might stab me in the face if i tell him i am going to Forks....again. gah! i wanna go so bad!!!!! i lived my whole life in Washington, and then the moment I move to the middle of bumfuck nowhere Alaska, WA becomes cool! dammit!

    i might have to try out the telling him mid bj...i mean who would stab someone thats giving them a blowjob? i mean really!?

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  22. FFFFFOOOOOORRRRRRKKKKKSSSSS!!!!!

    I want to go just to see Lisa holding a sign in an airport that says "Mrs. P".

    Should I wear my boots on the plane, or would they be annoying at the security check points? Are boots out of fashion in August? If I find Edward and 'fork' him, would you guys tell on me?

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  23. @JJ you can only buy alcohol in Liquor Stores here in Alaska too. You are not alone my friend. oh, but we make up for it with the amount of bars we have. no doubt.

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  24. A Mini-E Convention! My boy is rarin' to go.

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  25. twi-obsessionwillbethecauseofmydivorceJanuary 15, 2010 at 2:13 AM

    Still haven't figured out how to tell my hubs yet. I'm as nervous as Bella going to tell Charlie she's getting married. I'm not sure BJ's are going to be enough I might have to break out some Egyptian tea-bagging.

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  26. You have no idea how jealous I am of all of you who are going. If I lived over there I'd be there like a shot. BOOOOOOOOO!

    Well *through gritted teeth* have fun. Watch out for mountain lions *snigger*

    (Did I mention I get bitter when I'm jealous?)

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  27. @Stan - Gemms, I'm here for you! While these bitches are away trampling all over Hoh forest, you and I are going to... do exactly what that could surpass THAT???

    Anyhoo, I've already said in my comment yesterday how hubtard surprised the hell out of me with "I'd let you go anywhere with those women". Fuck, he's been so very much impressed with the effect that hanging out with you has had on our sex life, he'd definitely pay and organize the trip himself if we could afford it.

    VW *synyin* - I want to be synyin in the rain in Forks, too. waa waa

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  28. I just found this site, like last week. Soooo, awesome! I have been wanting to make a pilgrimage to the holy land also, and my man knows this. He has no one to blame but himself, since he made me go to see Twilight in the first place! :)

    FFFFOOOORRRRKKKKSSSS!!!

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  29. Fortunately I don't have to cause permanent damage to my old knees, but asking my parents to watch the kid for a weekend should be interesting. I've made no secret in the past decade how much I hate the Pacific NW (several reasons, some rational - some not. I'll tell you over drinks.) So when I tell everyone I'm going to that dreaded corner to drink myself silly and celebrate Twilight with a bunch of loud crazy bitches ... well, I'll be sure to take pictures.

    I've got to take a family vacation this spring since my daughter thinks the world is flat and ends at the city limits, but I will start adjusting the budget accordingly now.
    FOOOOOOOOOOOORKS!!!!!

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  30. Change in plans. I'd rather go with the Twitarded gang. I can pull the big 4-0 b-day card like Latchkey Wife. Plus the BFF said she'd go with to make sure I didn't make a complete ass of myself. Besides the DH owes me BIG TIME. I think the this trip and something from Tiffany's might begin to cover it.

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  31. A perk of no S/O currently - no need to explain or ask permission :-) - Will enjoy it while I can....

    which airport would be best to fly into WA or Seattle??

    Anyone else thinking of making the pilgrimage from UK/Ireland way??

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  32. Twi_Chic are you really going form over here? So wish I could :o(

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  33. I'm not talking to any of you who's going to Forks!
    jealous much???????????????????

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  34. We can sulk together Mary. Or recreate out own Forks in Derbys or Lancs. We don't need these Forkers *theatrical head toss*

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  35. @Mrs. P - That comment better not have been there just to tease me! The boots are optional, the sign is not. Look out Forks. There may be two Mrs. Ps in town!!!

    @Stan, Mary, & Jelena - Wish you could join us. Please don't pull our Twi-sted Edbrella card!

    @JJ & STY - Did you ever in your wildest dreams think you'd get Twitards willing to come from the UK, Ireland, and Illinois (had to throw that in there) to get their picture taken with you in Forks? Becuase there will be pictures ;)

    FFFFFFFFFFOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRKKKKKKKKKKSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!

    Lisa

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  36. You know how much I'd love to come? I even just looked flights up *sigh*.

    Nibbles isn't happy either, I texted her and she's talking Bel Ami stalking trips to London & Barnes lol!

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  37. oh sure I step away for a few hours to get some sleep and all hell breaks out!

    @Stan - did you just call us "FORKERS"?! hahaha!!

    and @Mary - you're not talking to us?!

    Can't we all just get along?!

    : )

    I hope Mr. Snarky is as enthusiastic about my trip to Forks as some of yours have been - VitaminR70 wrote me a VERY convincing note to pass along to Mr. Snarky - it's like it came from the make-a-wish foundation or something, it's THAT sincere in its sentiment that I HAVE to go to Forks!

    FOOOOOOOORRRRRRKKS!!!

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  38. I have been sitting here sulking ever since you started talking about going but have just come up with a cock-knocker of a plan!! One of DH's best friends lives in Seattle and has been harassing us to come out and visit so he can take hubby fishing...(insert evil laugh here) - MUAHAHAHAHA! - he can hang out in Seattle with his buddy and I can spend a day or two in Forks with the Twitards' of the world!!

    Off to price airfare and hotels!!

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  39. Damn...times like these I wish I were dating/married to a woman who wanted to go to forks....cause I'd be like "NO NO NO" and somehow have her read this latest posting. Dear Diary...JACKPOT.

    I do think its a sound strategy. I've agreed to some really dumb things while hammered, or on the receiving end of a kind gift IYKWIM.

    V/w: aulogiz. I know Jenny could do wonders with this word - I will leave it alone.

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  40. You guys are so funny.

    Alas, I am not ready to leave my twins for a trip away yet...although I am really freakin tempted to tow our 5th wheel up there...since it is sounding like the hotels are gonna be pretty booked!!!

    Forks isn't gonna know what hit it!

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  41. I am sooooooo tempted and bitter, but I know there's no way I can swing going to Forks. I hate all you bitches that can go! My reasons are purely financial and that our vacay time will be eaten up by summer's end. Gah! Guess I'll have to content myself with the pictures and lots of twi-porn. Sigh.

    @C4Life: you might actually consider going on this trip. Sounds like a few single twi-freak women will be there, and be drunk. Magic might happen, and inebriated craziness certainly will ensue. Hmmmmm....sounds better than a carribean cruise to me.

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  42. @CF4LIFE - My husband agreed - then after I read JJ's post to him (and he pissed himself laughing) he said "Dammmnnn, I should played hard to get" LOL

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  43. @Stan - Yeah, I am totally considering it! You should come!

    May sound like madness, but I was planning a trip over to the states this year anyhow. Have wanted to visit Forks- but haven't had anyone to go with, and what better way to visit then with Team Twitarded?!

    This of course is still all pending on what the final dates are and from that 1) if I can get the time off... 2) If I can afford it all.


    But if everything falls into place, HELL yeah I am there - if ye'll have me.... :-)

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  44. @STY, yes I did call you all forkers, what of it? ;o)

    @Twi_Chic, am afraid there is no way I could be that distance from my children. If it was only a case of leaving Mr Stan at home I'd be there like a shot, trust me!

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  45. I really want to go! It's all a matter of finace... I'm searching for flight prices and depending on dates it'll be from 775 USD to 1200 USD from Sweden to Port Angeles. And that's not including hotel and hiring a car... I guess my family will have to survive on water and potatoes if I'm going! Don't think the S/O will mind, though. I could use the 35-birhday-card, but I was thinking of using it to get a tattoo. Can't use it twice...

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  46. FOOOOOOORRRRKKKKSSS!!!

    Yes, there is a liquor store, yes the local grocery store sells wine and beer. I was told that there was a bar but never found it. Mind you I didn't look that far after I found the liquor store.

    I'm just telling hubby that I'm going. It's only a Ferry ride away for me. I just need to get my passport now so I can cross the border.

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  47. OMG, so I totes want to go to Forks with everyone! If you all are thinking September... that's a great time away, which is great to save and buy plane tickets and hotel rooms in advanced! Once you ladies find out how many people are confirmed with these plans, it would be a good idea to call a hotel there and ask about a group rate or discount... Wow, can I seriously come along?!?! I need to get out of here.. and meet some real Twilight fans in person, I'm like the all alone in my obsession.

    -Athena

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  48. @STY that's right, I'm not talking to any of you Forkers! actually any of you FUCKERS is more like it! I can't my jealousy is making me want to vomit bile all over my keyboard

    I'll be fine, don't worry about me whilst you're palnning your trip *sob*

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  49. I finally got up the nerve to talk to Mr. TL this morning and convincing him that I should go was way too easy. I think he's up to something, but I don't care. I'm so ready for this!!!

    FOOOOOOOORRRRRRKKS!!!

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  50. So here are a few tips on how to convince S/O to agree to you going to Forks:

    1. Just don't tell him/her until the day before you leave (seriously, this is what my mother did to my dad before going on a cruise with her sisters. Crazy woman!)*this is not recommended as it could potentially cause S/O to retaliate and go on cruise alone. Dad did it, Mom was PISSED!
    2. Try to plan a trip for your S/O to go on with their friends, mind you nothing too fun! Then once plans are settled for that trip, say "Oh, I'm thinking of going on a trip with a group of girlfriends, but we'll talk about it later. Have Fun!"
    3. Say "I'm going on a trip, so deal with it!"

    I've already used up my BJ card. I offered 30 days of BJ's if he pretended to enjoy Christmas with my family. He did good and is still collecting. Not sure if I can handle more BJ's.

    My sister and I really are considering trying to go though. We need to figure out the finances and babysitting. Hopefully we can work it out.

    FFFFFFFOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRKKKKKKSSSS!

    aka - ISeeTwiPeople (Yep! I'm back TwiLove1)

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  51. Send yourself some flowers with a note. "Have fun in Foooooorrrrrkkkksss." Hug the completely unaware S.O. and thank him for being the best S.O. in the whole world for suprising you with the one thing youv'e always wanted. If he argues, suck his nuts.

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  52. For those of you planning to fly in - you want to go to Seattle. Not Port Angeles. (Despite Bella's flight - remember, Charlie was there to pick her up!)

    Seattle will no doubt be the Twitard-West staging site and I'd hate to see you stuck in PA.

    I only wish I had more room in my house so I could host all of you. Hey - we could pitch tents in the backyard! Basecamp Forks.

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  53. Okay, so I'm in shit! no bf/s/o so that's fine, but parents wouldn't approve - who cares? - but I'm jobless, I have no money to fly, let alone to a different country. I'm in Canada, babes. :(

    Despite this:

    I still wanna go to FOOOOOORKKKKKKKSSSSSS.

    Anyone in Canada/Ontario/Toronto that I can carpool with? We should drive down or somethin.

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  54. Aug/Sept does not call for an excess of rain gear. During the summer months the coast can get fairly hot and really nice. Definitely bring some hiking boots.

    STY should get some Paul Mitchell 'heat seal' and 'super skinny serum' to help with the frizz. Those items are on my list of things to grab if my house ever catches on fire. Sadly they are above the cat that shits all over my carpet for amusement.

    FOOOOOOOOOOOORKSSSSS !!!!

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  55. @kintail: Why is Seattle better than Port Angeles? Isn't it a longer drive? We'll have to hire a car anyway I guess. And where do you live? I can totally camp in someones backyard if it's close enough to Forks... Oh, and my little sister totally wants to go to!

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  56. i think i just peed a little....

    FFFFOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRKKKKKSSSSS!!!

    ahhhh, finally a benefit of being single! i wish you all luck in your convincing endeavors!

    oh! and remember to cup the balls!

    FOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRKKKKKKKSSSSSS!!!

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  57. @CF4life... LMFAO at "Dear Diary, jackpot!"

    Mr. XKR's m.o. is "it's better to ask forgiveness than permission." Considering that I know none of you IRL and that there will be heavy drinking involved, he will be concerned to say the least. Which is why I'm not telling him until after the tickets are booked. :D

    I am forking excited!!!

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  58. Funniest shit, ever!!!!!

    Tips for the involved; Halls Cough Drops. Gives the dick a tingly feeling (I've been told) and you have fresher smelling breath after. That's all I've got.

    Any Chicago Twitards out there?

    FOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRKKKKKKKSSSSSS!!!

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  59. @My After Car Is an XKR and anyone else who needs to know - I nominated myself in a post awhile ago to be the designated "driver" for the group or the designated make sure we don't get kicked out, arrested or embarrassed stopper - ok I may not be able to stop the embarrassed part but I will do my best to prevent the kicking out or arresting of any drunk Twitard. I don't drink, at all, so if anyone else has an S/O worried about the drinking part, you can tell them that Dangrdafne will do her best to protect the drinking Twitards.

    PS I LOVE that luggage comparison - Dangrmomma would say I am the second picture - I am working on it.

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  60. @ Drngrdafne == Oh my, now that I know you're going and you're a non-drinker too, I'm re-thinking my pass on the trip! I'd love to help you baby-sit the drunkards and be co-captain of the designated driving squad! He he! Perhaps we'll also be in charge of videotaping the event so it doesn't get shaken and all fuzzy, which it will of course if we let these tankers shoot it themselves, LOL! ;) Plus I guess it'd be good to have a couple of us there who remember everything that happens....or not!

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  61. I connived my husband into driving me to Forks along with my best friend, her baby, and her sister. We stayed in the twilight decked out suite. I used the same persuasion techniques you are eluding too and they always seem to work for me :) I'll have trip planning tips, photos, and reviews up soon on my blog.
    twilightcupcake.wordpress.com
    We're heading to Italy this June and will be going to Volterra and Montepulciano as well. Happens to be our 10th anniversary and my husband was willing to make a sidetrip. Lucky me :)

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  62. @ vermonstermom4edward - I could use all the help I can get as I am sure you can imagine!

    @ Jenny - you will love Italy. I just spent my 40th birthday there with my mom (for her 70th) and we did an almost all Twilight New Moon trip. It was fabulous. Volterra was my favorite.

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  63. I just priced flights and I might just be able to make it. Yay! Sure it'll take me the best part of a day to get there, and with the time difference, the best part of a week to get back, but I don't care! I must be out of my forking mind...

    And no bf to argue with about it. Woohoo!

    @Twichic: Would you be going from London?

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  64. Oops, almost forgot:

    FOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRKS!!!!!!!!

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  65. @Dangrdafne - where did you stay in Italy and did you do the official new moon tours?

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  66. Yay to Dangrdafne and vermonster! I love reliable DD's! I'm glad you'll be there to babysit us all.

    I actually told Mr. SV that a bunch of the Twitarded chicks are planning a trip to Forks and he said, "Oh how cool!" Ha ha! LOVE HIM! He'll get the bj's anyway too. He just doesn't know it yet.

    Of course, it helps that I already live in Washington state. It's a few hours drive away and I've never been. WHAT is wrong with me?

    @Non-Forkers: I'm so sorry to hear some of the ladies I really want to meet won't be there. :( Maybe in 2011.

    @All Forkers - You are all making me SO excited to meet and party with you!!!

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  67. All I have to say is Holy Shit!!! We are actually going to do this!

    So, we def need official dates! My hubby is down with me going, but I'm going to need to plan ahead to get arrangments made for the kiddos. There was an ingenius comment earlier about group hotel rates. I'm so glad we have some non-drinking babysitters, because I have a feeling we are going to need it!

    As for ideas to convince s/o.....we compromised! I thought of the one thing he has been wishing for (in his case a new outrageously expensive bow) We decided that we would both cut back on little things we do on a daily basis and put the money into our fantasy fund. By the time September rolls around, we should have enough money saved up to do both! Don't worry, I remembered to seal the deal with the timeless art of fellatio!

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  68. @Jenny - We stayed in Florence for 6 days/5 nights at Hotel Casci - highly recommend it. We did not do any official New Moon Tours. We used a private driver to take us on day trips to Volterra and Montepulciano. We also got a free trip to Siena/San Gimignano from the hotel for staying 5 nights. We did our own touring and the tourist centers at both Volterra and Montepulciano have maps and information for Twilight fans. You can see my pictures here:
    http://photobucket.com/dangrdafneNewMoonTrip using the password Edward if you are interested. Feel free to ask me any other questions about Italy... you can email me at dangrdafne@gmail.com or use the comment section.

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  69. @Dangrdafne - thanks for the photo link. Can't wait to Montepulciano.

    @JJ and STY - Wow, quite a group you've got going to Forks. They won't know what hit 'em. Would love to go back with you.
    The Dazzled by twilight store better get ready ;) Can't get enough of that place. Also got to check out 98331 gear - the biggest collection of RPattz autographed stuff I've seen. Drool...

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  70. This all sounding great!

    Banshee713- Sorry for delay in reply. Not sure where i am going to fly from. I am in Ireland, but if its cheaper to fly from London, I might do that. Will have to see what the flight sales are like at the time.

    What about you?

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  71. I'm in Ireland too. I'm not sure if it's cheaper from London but I think there are less stops from there. Will have to see how things work out too. I was just curious.

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  72. @Banshee 713 - Cool! Well we'll just have to keep an eye out on flights....Hopefully I won't have hassle getting the time off.

    It'll be some craic, won't it?!!

    FFFFFFOOOOOORRRRRKKKKKKKSSSSSSSSS!!

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  73. Check this out.... TrekAmerica apparently does a 12 day Twilight Tour - taking in film set locations and more.....

    http://www.trekamerica.com/tours/twl.html?CMP=KNC-PPC&HBX_PK=twilight%20tours%20forks&HBX_OU=50#tour-info-0

    There's camping though! But I am sure we can round up the wolf pack to keep us safe!

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  74. @Twi_Chic: Woooooooooo!!!!! to everything except the camping. Unless the wolf-pack thing were actually possible, natch ;)

    ps. I know someone who narrowly avoided getting arrested for saying they were in Portugal 'for the craic'

    Veri-word: antents. Everyone's trying to get me to go camping...

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  75. Okay ladies, for all of you trying to plan your Forks trip I've finally got my Forks trip blog up. Hope it helps with planning or gives you a taste of the wonders that await.

    twilightcupcake.wordpress.com

    See you all in Washington state!

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  76. WAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!! I WANT TO GO!!!!! but NOOOOOOO i have to go to VEGAS...... i mean really, who would choose to go to VEGAS over FOOOOOORRRRRRRKKKKKKKSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!! i know crazy huh?????? but ya know ive got this "non refundable ticket" and shit, oh well there is always next year, course hubby said i can still give him the blow job..... just laughed at him....keep dreaming, no tripy no licky!!!!!!! and SNY im with ya on the packing babe,i alwaaaaayyyys take 3 times more shit than i should,but if i divorce the s/o between now and then i just may join yall!!!!!

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  77. My SO can just suck it up.

    He was in vegas in December. Without me. In a five star hotel suite. Fucker.


    FFFFFFFFFOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRKKKKKKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS here we come!!!

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  78. I don't have to ask exactly ~ he pretty much goes with whatever I want... we will however be in the middle of a cross country move.
    (Northern NY to southern CA)
    I guess if I get lucky I will already be in CA and get to miss all the unpacking fun!

    @ Myg ~ that's fucking awsome!!
    They are all pretty much the same.
    Welcome to TWITARDED ~ boy will you learn alot here!

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