Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Why Telling Your Family You Write a Blog is a Bad Idea

My daughter wrote WHAT about sex?!

I have to admit - sometimes it's insanely a little insanely awkward to know that my parents read the shit I write on this blog. I mean, Mommy (not a)Jerkface is reluctantly okay with it, though she always makes this cringe-y face when I talk about publishing her emails.

Daddy (not a)Jerkface is probably just happy I'm not a stripper**. Or in jail. Or living in some radical commune somewhere where we all worship the Great Lord Sucksacockalot and run around with tampons stuck up our butts or something.

Let's all get on our knees and give thanks to our Great Lord...

Still, it's kind of weird. If I was writing about puppies and flowers and kittens and stuff, it would be fine.

But I'm not. I'm writing about being obsessed with a YA saga about sparkly vampires, one of whom I really want to do the horizontal tango with, which I've expressed, graphically and repeatedly, on this site.


Plus, I swear like a sailor. No, fuck that, worse than a sailor. And since we're being honest, let's just admit that the sex talk isn't just limited to Robward. We talk about fucking-humping-bumping-thumping-just-plain-doin'-it all the time. Oh, and we can't forget our vaginas - we looooove to discuss those, in detail.

Hi, Dad!

Then things got even more... interesting. I had the (not a)Jerkfaces over last Saturday and Brother Jerkface mentioned that he told his co-workers about the blog. Mommy (not a)Jerkface and I were both suitably aghast.

Dude.

You told your co-workers about Twitarded? For real? Your male, scientist-y co-workers? I know you're going to eventually read this and boy are you gonna PISSED but... What the fuck were you thinking? Remember that time you ate my bagel? When I was like 14 and you were 17 and I almost murdered you because I was STARVING and you were totally heartless and ate the last bagel in the house, the salt one that I had toasted and smeared with yummy butter and naively abandoned on the counter to wash my hands? The fuck? So, yeah, I'm talking smack about you on my blog. It's called payback, dear brother. After all, revenge is a dish best served cold.

It was MY bagel, you ass-clown. YOU ATE MY BAGEL!!! [This story is infamous in my family. It gets brought up at least twice a year...]

That's okay, though. Really. Because I need to point out something to you that you probably didn't consider.

Granted, this didn't occur to me until today but there are potential ramifications of Brother Jerkface spreading the, um, Twitarded love (that sentence alone was borderline it's-time-for-therapy) to his co-workers.

Let me just preface this by saying for some bizarre reason, I'm totally cool with everyone knowing I want to hob RPattz's knob, because this would never happen in real life, no matter how many hypothetical Kama Sutra positions I put us in [answer: a lot]. It's equally fine with me that they know about my massive porn consumption, not to mention my obsession with taking a poo in RPattz's trailer. I have no excuse for this - I simply lack shame.

But I am somewhat disturbed about one thing. Not sure why... but I am.

Two words - personal lubricant. Remember this post? It's bad enough that I've had to have dildo conversations with Mommy (not a)Jerkface but now your co-workers know your kid sister uses lube.

Hi people I may or may not know if real life! How are you?! Did you have a good holiday? Just ignore the picture above and we'll be alllll good...

Horrified? Uh huh, yeah, I thought so.

Now, I ended up never buying said lubricant, but still. Not only is my family now aware of a lube called Make Me Cum but so do your co-workers and for some reason this makes me feel a little squiffy inside.

{{Shivers}}

...Okay, I'm over it.

Back to writing some porn.

**Not that there is anything wrong with that profession! I'd do it if I could dance in six inch stilettos and didn't look like I swallowed a beach ball. Whole.

70 comments:

  1. BWHAHAHAH!
    well now we know who the mystery male followers are!

    and the cult thing...if it Rob were the leader of the Great Lord Sucksacockalot cult... We'd all be there in out Master of the Universe panties and submitting will nilly...

    no need for lube there!

    oh...my you make me snort...

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  2. correction.. we'd have our PATTINSON PANTIES ON...

    and would just submit to the MASTER...

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  3. You brother, and all older brothers the worl over, deserve this. Well done, bitches.

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  4. Just be glad you don't have kids. It's so difficult to shut up once they are teenagers and then they look at you like the perv you are. And EVERYTIME there is a Rob Pattinson reference you get "stink eye" from your husband. This is hysterical in so many ways.

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  5. Dude fucking hilarious. I love the word 'squiffy' and while trying to type it just now on my phone, I misspelled it 3 different ways, all of which looked dirty. Best thing I never did was tell my family about my blog because unlike you, I'm a closet whore. My family still thinks I'm sweet and innocent. I only wish your family felt the same way but noooo... they've been soiled by the LKW filth. Keep daddy na jerkface off the computer please!!

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  6. You're braver than me. There. Is. No. Way lol The only people who know about my sites are my husband and one other friend.

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  7. I can't believe he ate your bagel! I can imagine 14 year old you about to play a lil game called cut a bro! Hi and welcome to Twitarded all of Brother Not A Jerkface's work buddies! Enjoy hearing about Twat Waffles,Cum Pies,and umm ROBERT PATTINSON!

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  8. Oh and I fucking love the pic of the giant cock dude! Priceless!

    And my word verif is 'undingin'. Huh?

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  9. I am DYING to tell friends & fam about my blog, because we work hard & it's been a huge learning curve just to do the technical stuff on the back end (heh heh) of it. BUT, once it's out there, it's out there. I am sure it will eventually leak (heh heh) because Twi-people are starting to friend me on FB (with the wonderful exception of VitaminR, she's been a personal FB friend for ages & has never outed me in any way!) and I am sure that they'll somehow put Anne & Anntastic together and if they find my twitter which is INSANELY FULL of fuck this & hump Rob that & clit-twitch this & panty-splosion that...oh my. The blog? It's not QUITE as balls-to-the-walls as yall (but then again, we're only a month & a half old!) but still.

    My point is, the funnier you are, the more people took notice. And eventually, you're KNOWN (mah babies are all growed up!). Yall are kinda the cool kids at the lunch table in the fandom, so to speak. And that means RL & TWIlife gets crossed. And voila! Your brother's co-workers know you use LUBE!

    BTW, anytime you can use that jpeg of the Make Me Cum???? It's sure to be a favorite of mine. It makes me squeeeeee!

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  10. I am DYING here! I'm going to pee myself from laughing!

    Well, I guess I can be glad I don't have a blog...thought about it, even had a name for it but just don't think I'm that interesting to write about.

    My mother now knows about my Twilight addiction. I brought Twilight to the hospital for my Dad to read (he's in there for awhile). And he did give it a good shot but I don't think it really held his attention. Stayed with Mum over NYE and found Twilight on the Movie Network...Score! When "Edward" walks into the cafeteria, I said, "There, Mum. That's the reason your daughter is going to hell..."

    Her only response was, "He looks like a girl." but she never said a word throughout the movie until the end. Then it was, "Why don't they turn into bats? Where are their coffins? How come Edward doesn't have fangs?" (she's in her 80s..forgive her). I handed her the book and said, "Read."

    BTW - I can see two of my RL friends on the Twitarded's Fan Box FB page.....(waves to Katie and Mirela!)

    I "turned" Katie.....

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  11. Pissing myself laughing here! Where is the giant Lord Sucksacockalot? Priceless!
    Just wanted to belatedly thank @TJB @Sabrina and any others who gave me fanfic recs on Dec 31. XX Looking forward to next week when I can read them in peace, can't do that with husband/teenages in house!

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  12. ROFLMAO!!!! Awesome post JJ, as usual. My family quietly ignores my blogginess in hopes it will disappear...plus I don't think they read. LOL! I've made toooo many references to tooo many family members in posts that would have warranted a phone call by now, and nuthin'. Fingers crossed.

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  13. My dearest domesticated partner is going to dismantle the laptop if I keep being an obnoxious brat LMAOOL!

    I was going to say that big brothers can be *$@*ers, but then I remembered how my LITTLE brother left me a mile away from home with half of my heel slit off from a barbed wired fence (I hopped home), so I changed it to brothers can be fuckers!

    BUT, you mentioned his scientificy co-workers...? I'm sure they have dirtier little secrets like MARSCON, Stargate SG-1 & Deep Space 9 (7 of 9 hotness) fetishes, etc. So, although they may ridicule you, I'm sure big brother could meet your disgrace half way with something equally powerful.

    PLUS, you have some new followers...right? It could have been worse, just like STY said.

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  14. I thought you were talking about me, minus the blog. I also have no shame, have a mouth that would make Tattward blush, & am addicted to twiporn. Worst part is I tell everyone about it.

    I've said this before, glad I'm not the only one. Thank you for Twitarded!!!

    Off to read "The Training" update & finnish my wine.

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  15. You rock JJ! Let's face it, your brothers friends could learn a thing or two about women from Twitarded! All of the sauciness, lube and sparkle peen talk will probably educate them on how to satisfy the woman in their life...or get a woman in their life....or maybe just get a life!


    Ouch... No trouble to tell I've been sipping on what's left of my Christmas whiskey! It turns me into a right viscious bitch! Lol

    much love xxx

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  16. Damn, that's funny! I agree with holdmeRansom, you may have found your mystery male followers.

    And what the hell did you Google to find the Great Lord Sucksacockalot picture? And can we keep him for Twitardia? Can we? Huh? Can we?! It just screams group picture. (Well, somebody would definitely be screaming. Just sayin'.)

    And as for telling your family about your blog? Um. Yeah. Big mistake. Of course, when I started mine, it was just a hobby meant for a few friends and family members to see. Somewhere along the way, my inner smut came out to play. One day when we were together for a family birthday party, my mom pulled me aside and said she looked at my blog. *gulp* She said she had to ask my dad what WTF meant and when he told her (yay Dad!), she was disappointed. I felt like I was 17 again. So I did what any 17-year-old would do, I blamed it on JJ & STY. She wasn't having any of it. My knee-jerk(face) reaction was to shut the blog down. Then I remembered I'm 47, not 17. WTF?! I politely told her that maybe she should just avoid the blog. She then asked where JJ & STY lived ;)

    Lisa

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  17. You do know now that you will NEVER be able to set foot into his office EVER!!!! Because you will always have that one married/balding/60 yr old Chester the Molester, who will give you the "You talk about sex, vaginas and lube all of the time on your blog, so you must want to have sex with me" look. Makes me grateful I'm an only child!

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  18. RANDOM THOUGHT.....

    Dr. Oz just said that the same gene that determines the size of a man's penis also determines the length of his index finger.

    Think about it, ladies...

    http://www.twitpic.com/wv7ty

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  19. @TO Twicat - *THUD* Me and his index-long penis. I like your line of thinking, random or not!

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  20. Ohhh fuck me...that's some shit. Lord Sucksacockalot,bagel thievery,indecent bloggy exposure, and personal lubricant...priceless.
    Hey JJ...at least your life's not fucking boring right??!!
    Love you hard.

    E

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  21. I'm sure I had something clever and witty in my head to say but then I read To Twicat's random thought... Um my train of thought swiftly derailed...what was I sayin????

    Fkat

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  22. ....and Jenny this is why we worship at the temple of Twitardia. You freaking kill me....in the best of all ways.

    Hello (not a) Jerkface family! **waving** Have I thanked you for the wonderment that is JJ? NO? Well, thank you. Did you all know that every time I read or hear the name 'Robert Pattinson' I hear her voice saying it (thanks to the Twigasm podcast). Oh and Brother NAJ I assume you learned your lesson after trying to swipe the bagel.....brave man you are.

    @Anntastic23---I would never out you but I am wondering how you have covered up all those photos I cocktagged you in on FB...or maybe you didn't?

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  23. BAHAHAHA!

    Oh man, this was so funny! This is the first post I have read from you guys. *GASP* I know right? But I heard you guys on Twigasm and thought I would take a look. Little did I know that the first picture I would see on this site is a azn statue man with a ginormous peen! HAHAH THAT WAS AWESOME! I will for sure be coming (<-- tehehe) around here more.

    Oh and about your bother saying all that stuff to his co-workers, no worries! You don't ever really have to meet them, right??

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  24. what's so wrong with lube? it makes things fit better :) and i would think all the nerdy guys in the science field might need some extra ass(yes i went there)istance. ok, i love knowing that when i'm burning in hell i can talk about twilight with all my twitarded friends

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  25. The top left corner of this blog says it all.
    Does the the godzilla size penis! LOL!
    If you can't take the splatter of twitardjizz, don't stand in front of the sparkling peen!

    Did I just say that! Mwahhahahaha!! {{twitching}}

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  26. See I can't even write the sentence correctly.

    SO does the godzilla size penis! GeEz

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  27. I lulz'd. Plain and simple. Well done, JJ, well done. *stands and claps*

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  28. HA! I'm sorry I'm laughing at you feeling "squiffy inside" but it's HI-larious!!!

    My new way of saying sexual intercourse is "wrong side business, ya know laying down and tickling" - got that lovely from the movie "Australia." I adore it!

    Hmm, I'm getting a salt bagel while I do laundry this morning. Thanks for putting that lovely gluten (kill my stomach later) suggestion in my head.

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  29. the bagel is sacred territory.
    your brother should have known...

    payback? i say here here!!

    i'ves just imagined you dancing in your bella's dress with FSE taped around the pole!!

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  30. LMFAO you are h-i-larious, I love this blog amongst others (stan)

    I'm sure I know the guy with the big dick, they had statues of him in Greece or was that when I was in the suckscockalot commune, I was brainwashed (drunk) at the time.

    We have a bagel story in our house too except its about a stuffed toy elephant, my brother is like 50 now and still goes on about it. I would NEVER tell my brother about a blog I wrote for various reasons 1) He is weird, B) I just couldn't cope with him knowing about porn, lube, dildo's and me & thirdly) He is fucking weird!!!!!

    WV-numers- This is the name we call weird scientist-y friends of any brother

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  31. So, at christmas, my sister-in-law was being a bit childish and trying to "out-twilight" me in basic knowledge and twilight propoganda. She then brings up "panty-gate". I'm like "oh shit, you read Twitarded don't you?" She tried to play dumb with me, but I could tell she knew exactly what I was talking about!

    Meanwhile, I'm sitting there with my fingers crossed saying, "Please don't tell everyone that you stumbled across Twisoup on their blog-roller, because the last thing I need right now is for my overprotective brothers to see pictures of me wearing fishnets and a porn-stache!" Luckily, I wasn't outed. I can't imagine the awkward moments you two must face when your family reads stories about lube or licking the precious! Thank you Mommy not a Jerkface for being such an awesome person and supporting JJ and STY while they make us all piss our pants with laughter!

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  32. That's exactly what I was gonna say too -- now you know who the mysterious male followers are on here! Holy hell, that's so funny and wrong...

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  33. The only blog I have is about my son, for my family, OH SHIT - I just realized that since I am a follower my family could (if they wanted to) click on your link from my blog. FUCK, I might need to change my posting name. I'll try to come up with something clever...or fuck it' I'm freaking 40 for fuck sake. I can say I want to fuck Rob (and Taylor) into a coma if I want to. Right? Right?

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  34. Wouldn't scientists of all people understand compounds and mixing compounds for the desired effect?

    seem these pics of Rob?

    jawporn, fingerporn, and
    kill-me-now NECKPORN???

    http://www.imdb.com/media/rm2914225664/nm1500155

    or this one

    http://www.imdb.com/media/rm2947780096/nm1500155

    I don't know how long it has been up but I just found it (and died) today. I guess I've been too busy on this blog that I haven't checked over at IMDB in a while.

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  35. holy hell, woman! you are killing me. I am really getting tired of wiping the coffee spittle off the computer monitor. Bwahahahaha!!!

    WV: yercor...ummm...oh the places I could go with this...

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  36. "Hi Dad"...

    LMAO. I love this blog.

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  37. Bwahaha! It always makes me feel squiffy (great word!) inside when yet another person finds out about my Twitardedness. My in-laws were over for Christmas when they saw the RPattz calendar and book my daughter gave me, and MIL says "Is he supposed to be good looking or something?". Snort, smirk, and blush all at the same time. I stayed silent because her lame question did not dignify an answer. OMG, if she ever found out about the blogs she would file divorce papers on my husband's behalf. Nope, MIL, you just keep playing solitaire and stay outta my bloggy world.

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  38. Crap I think I got a cheerio stuck up my nose! Its dangerous eating breakfast and reading twitarded!

    Ladies I bow to you genius.. JJ get him girl! That'll teach him for stealing your bagel!

    Hubby outed me to family at Christmas by explaining that part of my Xmas present was tickets to twi tour in Vancouver. Oh well at least he didn't out me about making the panties...

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  39. @ red_bella: Can I stay in the dark closet with the panties too? ;p~~~

    @JJ: I don't know, call me crazy..but I flashed back up to the top pic, then the next pic, then back up to the top pic..ummm..just sayin... oh crap..more coffee...need more coffee...

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  40. A few months ago I googled my blog name (I have a very seldom updated blogsite for non-Twi stuff) and was horrified to see links to my comments on Twitarded in all of my foul-mouthed, Rob-humping glory. I tried to change my blogger ID but I'm so tech-challenged that I gave up and reverted back. Obviously I don't give a shit who finds out about my not-so-secret interests. Yet.

    @Twifiltered Brain - Thanks, for the links bitch. Now I won't get anything done today!

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  41. twi-obsessionwillbethecauseofmydivorceJanuary 6, 2010 at 12:29 PM

    OMG I'm dying here of laughter at the statue of sucksacockalot!!!

    My family knows I love Twi but have no idea to the extent. This is why I can't follow you guys on Facebook, they can see my fan pages. I'd be fucked if they got curious and clicked on your link to the blog.

    Now I had a couple more things to say but got totally sidetracked when I got to the comment about the 'index finger' HOLY FUCK

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  42. OMG...that was awesome.

    You know, oranje juice burns when it erupts from your nostrils...

    Anywhoo...I am surprisingly OK with my famdamily knowing about my blog. They already know I'm crazy. I share everything...whether they like it or not.

    Here's to family!

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  43. Between the index finger idea & the neck porn, I'm having trouble concentrating at work...and I'm a counselor for chrissake, I have to focus & listen to people's problems for 4 more hours. Must...focus....hmmmmmm....index finger...I said FOCUS!

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  44. @JJ - you definitely need to give the KY his & her's lube a go!! If they made them in trial size containers I would never leave home w/o them because you never know when the urge will strike - well okay the urge is ALWAYS there, it's just that so are all these damn people around me. What is it w/ elevators anyways?? ha ha ha

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  45. Hence the reason my dirty lil blog will remain a covert operation to anyone and everyone who feeds me, finances me and fucks me. Oh, and my brother was a bagel monger to....fucker. He's lucky he is a good foot taller than me and can palm my forehead when I attempt to bullrush him.

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  46. The giant cock statue is turning me on.

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  47. Oh, JJ, you are a pillar of strength, I must say, not stabbing your bro with mistletoe for telling his coworkers.
    I haven't read any other replies, sorry ladies (and dudes), nothing personal, my head is just NOT in the game. You see, I just learned yesterday that Rob loves D'Angelo, who is my all time favorite, no one compares, until the end of time musician and has been for almost 15 years. This messes with my head immensely, because now I just imagine sitting around drinking and listening to D'Angelo with him and that is NOT a good place for my mind to wander ;-)
    *sigh* What have you twatwaffles done to me?! I didn't even really think Rob was that hot until you started bombarding me with Rob porn on a weekly basis, it's like peer pressure but SO much worse.

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  48. so i totes have been slackin on my twitard reads... *hangs head* i know i know! but fuck if RL hasnt just gone and takin me away from yall! im back though and love that i read this post...it makes me feel better about my fam consitantly askin me about my ridiculous obsession and what it is i really do on the computer all day. ummm...you really dont want to know! lmao but ill get on my knees with the rest of you and serve...errr worship Great Lord Sucksacockalot

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  49. Oh my goodness that second picture! Rofl, where did you find it? Shame on your brother for telling your co-workers and stealing your bagel. Makes me glad I'm the only child and glad I haven't told anyone about my blog. I'm hoping to see Twitarded take over Vegas this summer.

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  50. @Sabrina - you are likely jinxing yourself to have to listen to someone tell you about their problems, and they are going to have absurdly long index fingers (like mine...oh alright...you caught me...I've been stuffing SOCKS in my GLOVES. Damn you stubby index fingers!).

    @Sabrina again - the "f**ked into a coma" comment floored me. I have never heard that before, and unfortunately I have a hyperactive imagination. I've seen how angry women get when I fall right asleep after...I hate to think what would happen if I went comatose.

    Sure wish I could find a way to post my photoshopped creation of RPattz eating Jenny's bagel. And by bagel...I mean just that...not a euphemism for something else.

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  51. Great Lord Sucksacockalot ROFL love it!

    My brother used to chase me around the garden with a bottle of vinegar when I was all tarted up, ready to go out. Evil bastard. I got my revenge by having sex in his bed with one of his mates muahahaahaahaa

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  52. I'm laughing so hard I gonna peep in my pants! For the photos alone in this post, I've got to share with my husband. I may just out myself for being a twitarded fan!

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  53. @Mary - *waving hello* Was just over at Twi-sted Edbrella leaving a comment on Stan's post :) Great revenge tactic for your brother. Remind me not to get on your bad side. LOL!

    @Anon 2:43 - LMFAO!! I wonder what kind of laundry soap one would need to get peep out of their pants ;)

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  54. @17foreverlisa - Are they the yellow Easter peeps? Only acid will work, but the eyes remain.

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  55. try posting your blog on your resume that would kill your chances must delete that section and i was proud of blogging about twilight now I have learned my lesson. sh**t will sign anonymously of course ...love you guys:D

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  56. JJ..while D(na)J is probably happy that you AREN't in jail currently...this blog probably is not helping him close the door on that possibility.

    but tell Pops not to worry though..we'd all pitch in to post your bail--yours too SNY cuz we know you'd be sitting right there next to her in the cell! :)

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  57. @CF4LIFE - Help me, Obi Wan, you're my only hope.....
    I mean...I wish I could take credit for the 'fuck into a coma' statement, but I stole it from someone else who said it somewhere else in this blog. Needless to say, I TOTALLY agree with the concept & would love to try it sometime.

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  58. Ok, so because this post freaked my shit out & because of what I do for a living (I'm a counselor) AND because I can truly see some of my clients visiting this blog...Sabrina has left the building & will now be known as Twilight Junkie!

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  59. I couldn't really access the site at work today, due to the fact that I put a GIGANTIC picture of a penis statue AND a tub of lube but I've been following your comments on my BB and snorting myself silly.

    I sometimes think I can spot a 'little sister' because of their behavior. There is something about growing up having to constantly defend yourself that gives you an... edge.

    @Anonymous - regarding the resume? Let's just say I hope it's a long time before I have to look for another job because once a potential employer gets wind of this blog, my ass is so fast out that door.

    :)

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  60. tina (pattinson) i wish.January 8, 2010 at 2:02 AM

    OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!!! U ROCK!!!!!! I just stumbled apon u and i am freakin hooked, im a 41 yr old mom, who is truely madly and deeply obsessed with all things twilight,but mostly robert pattinson,i would leave my hubby on christmas day for him, and he knows it,i dont go a day without some form of a rob fix, i have all of his music on my ipod,and thats about all i listen to, my twilight dvd is about warped from play, and all of my friends family and co workers,think im crazy,but thats ok , i can live with that, as long as no one tries to take it away from me,so now that i have found u, i wont go a day without u!!!!!!

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  61. JJ :):) on my resume post..just moved to another country can't find a job and i'm totally totally not from ur side of the world and I thought just in my own twilight bubble that some sweet employer will find my long resume attractive just because I have that cute twilight blog your post did open my eyes to the fact that we twihards will remain an oppressed minority to any sane employer because I guess they will be absolutely positive we won't be productive with our chronic obsession Gosh! hang on to that job hide your face and any clues hanging in that therapeutic blog of yours love you tons:)

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  62. It gives me much grace this because it is a reality, which of us would not have spent that warn us of this, hahaha thanks for the space.

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  63. ohhh Jenny your blog is hilarios!!!
    so much enjoyed reading it, made me smile a few times and laugh too :)
    thnks,put some more please.
    tim.

    How to Attract Ladies

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  64. Wouldn't scientists of all people understand compounds and mixing compounds for the desired effect?

    seem these pics of Rob?

    jawporn, fingerporn, and
    kill-me-now NECKPORN???

    http://www.imdb.com/media/rm2914225664/nm1500155

    or this one

    http://www.imdb.com/media/rm2947780096/nm1500155

    I don't know how long it has been up but I just found it (and died) today. I guess I've been too busy on this blog that I haven't checked over at IMDB in a while.

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  65. what's so wrong with lube? it makes things fit better :) and i would think all the nerdy guys in the science field might need some extra ass(yes i went there)istance. ok, i love knowing that when i'm burning in hell i can talk about twilight with all my twitarded friends

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  66. I am DYING here! I'm going to pee myself from laughing!

    Well, I guess I can be glad I don't have a blog...thought about it, even had a name for it but just don't think I'm that interesting to write about.

    My mother now knows about my Twilight addiction. I brought Twilight to the hospital for my Dad to read (he's in there for awhile). And he did give it a good shot but I don't think it really held his attention. Stayed with Mum over NYE and found Twilight on the Movie Network...Score! When "Edward" walks into the cafeteria, I said, "There, Mum. That's the reason your daughter is going to hell..."

    Her only response was, "He looks like a girl." but she never said a word throughout the movie until the end. Then it was, "Why don't they turn into bats? Where are their coffins? How come Edward doesn't have fangs?" (she's in her 80s..forgive her). I handed her the book and said, "Read."

    BTW - I can see two of my RL friends on the Twitarded's Fan Box FB page.....(waves to Katie and Mirela!)

    I "turned" Katie.....

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  67. The top left corner of this blog says it all.
    Does the the godzilla size penis! LOL!
    If you can't take the splatter of twitardjizz, don't stand in front of the sparkling peen!

    Did I just say that! Mwahhahahaha!! {{twitching}}

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  68. I'm sure I had something clever and witty in my head to say but then I read To Twicat's random thought... Um my train of thought swiftly derailed...what was I sayin????

    Fkat

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  69. I am DYING to tell friends & fam about my blog, because we work hard & it's been a huge learning curve just to do the technical stuff on the back end (heh heh) of it. BUT, once it's out there, it's out there. I am sure it will eventually leak (heh heh) because Twi-people are starting to friend me on FB (with the wonderful exception of VitaminR, she's been a personal FB friend for ages & has never outed me in any way!) and I am sure that they'll somehow put Anne & Anntastic together and if they find my twitter which is INSANELY FULL of fuck this & hump Rob that & clit-twitch this & panty-splosion that...oh my. The blog? It's not QUITE as balls-to-the-walls as yall (but then again, we're only a month & a half old!) but still.

    My point is, the funnier you are, the more people took notice. And eventually, you're KNOWN (mah babies are all growed up!). Yall are kinda the cool kids at the lunch table in the fandom, so to speak. And that means RL & TWIlife gets crossed. And voila! Your brother's co-workers know you use LUBE!

    BTW, anytime you can use that jpeg of the Make Me Cum???? It's sure to be a favorite of mine. It makes me squeeeeee!

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