Monday, January 25, 2010

You Probably Haven't Heard Yet, But...

aaaaand now I finally kinda understand why getting to Forks involves a ferry...

I can't focus on anything but Forks right now. I tried to, but I can't seem to manage it. Apparently, I am in remarkably good company. And I'm sorry to all the people who are all "Really? Forks? Again?! She just talked about that yesterday!" But think of it this way - you probably want to go... Even if you don't even know it. So we are going to talk about it incessantly (er, well, as incessantly as people with ADD talk about stuff) until you either give in and come with us or enjoy the Twitarded Forks pilgrimage vicariously through us. Because really, at the risk of someone out there declaring some sort of fatwa on my ass, I have to say that this is more of a pilgrimage than any old vacation sorta dealie. If you can go, you HAVE to go. Or something like that.

I will be buying one of these. Period. [click to enlarge - available at Dazzled By Twilight]

I don't plan on being able to do much of anything between now and the end of September. It's like we all just got pregnant with Forks and now we have to wait an agonizingly loooong nine months before our Twitarded baby pops out (it'll be called "Nessie," natch). Sure, there will be some major high points that will help us pass the time between now and then - the dvd release! Remember Me! freaking Eclipse - yeah, baby! And we do plan on having a little NYC meetup, not to mention a rendezvous in Texas when JJ goes to SXSW. All of this will leave little time for anything that is not at least loosely related to Twilight through less than a degree or two of separation.

I told myself I would have to draw the line somewhere and manage my time more efficiently this year, and frankly the only way that is going to happen is if I stop paying attention to other stuff and really focus my attention here, where it is needed. Oh and I may have to leave Mr. Snarky and marry Jenny Jerkface, because that would further simplify my life (mostly because JJ doesn't mind if I spend all my time on the blog and is totally cool eating with peanut butter for dinner). That said, for the time being Mr. Snarky and I are still an item (at least until JJ and I stop arguing over who gets to wear the strap-on first) and tomorrow is our wedding anniversary! In the spirit of being a better wife--at least for one night!--than I have been for the last 12 months, I have gamely agreed to go out to dinner and not spend the night glued to the laptop, my phone, or either of the Full-Size Edwards (Mini-E still gets to come along to dinner because nobody will be any the wiser).

I found this image (complete with text) while doing a random Google image search for "Edward Cullen standee" and almost fell off my chair...(from My TwiLife)

JJ will be manning the helm of the blog (and everything else) for the next day or two (I suppose I will have to pay a liiiittle attention to work because if I end up unemployed between now and September, guess who's going to have to sell a kidney to get to Forks?). We will get to the contest results - we had some AMAZING, hysterically funny submissions and we can't wait to share them with you later this week! We'll announce the contest winners, too (right after we figure out the randomizer name-selector thingy) - and we have lots of great prizes! In case you missed it, in addition to the Twilight deluxe boxed set and the Creative Cursing book, we have two Twilight-themed calenders and an Edward bookmark (thanks to Dangrdafne and TwiLove1!), custom embroidery of your choice/design from Red Bella, AND we also received a $25 gift certificate from Annette, the proprietor of the Forks-based Dazzled By Twilight empire, to be used at her store either in person (we hope!) or online. For the life of me I couldn't get the image of the gift certificate she sent me to work here, but we're good for it and we'll figure out the details when the time comes (you will hear me say this a LOT in the next nine months).

Maybe we'll get a special after-hours Twitards-only invite to the shop!? I see massive photo opportunities and I want one of everything in the store, please...

P.S. For those who would like a round-up of the Forks trip deets thus far:

  • JJ and I will arrive in Forks on Thurs. 9/30 and depart on Sun. 10/3
  • We'll be staying at the Forks Motel
  • You may be able to coordinate with other people to share rental cars, motel rooms, etc. - VitaminR70 has set up info and discussion groups on Facebook to help facilitate (thanks VitaminR!).
  • Friend us on Facebook (see right sidebar - I can't open FB right for some reason) and follow us on Twitter to keep up with the latest info (STY HERE and JJ HERE)
  • There are a LOT of people who want to join in - we hope you can all make it! It is going to be amazingly fun!
  • If you have questions, we'll do our best to answer, but we still have a LOT to work out (so please be patient, whore flaps).
  • Lots and lots of details to follow, like it or not...
  • Same to you, Forks - ready or not, here comes Twitarded!

P.P.S. I overheard Mr Snarky on the phone earlier explaining to a guy friend of his (who had just seen Twilight) how they had got the sparkle effect all wrong. I love my husband. Aaaaand my work here is done.


  1. Flights are booked and hotel reserved...look out forks, Mrs. P i about to roll into town!!!

  2. ofcourse I meant Mrs. P 'is', not that I'm Mrs. PI now, although it does sound kind of cool. Too excited to type, making typos like a mofo.

  3. FFFFFOOOOORRRRRKKKKKSSSSS!!!!! This is just too fucking exciting. I will be landing in town with Mrs. P at TwiBite, Cullenary Curser, and Twilove1. We will definitely be ding-dong ditching your door at the Forks Motel. Just sayin'.

    Can't wait!!


  4. Do you guys have a countdown going on yet? This Forks trip is the same weekend as my Birthday so its the perfect "excuse" right??? In September i will have already been to Forks twice! I have a trip planned this July!!!1 and i understand the not being able to think about anything else. My mantra at work (well really everywhere) is FORKS FORKS FORKS. its what keeps me going!

  5. Just submitted my reservation request at the Forks Motel. I put in for a single, but will be happy to upgrade if anyone wants to share a suite. I vote for time at the Soleduc Hotsprings, Dinner in Port Angeles and a bonfire/beach party. I'll check to see if there are any Casinos nearby. Washington has high taxes on liquor and cigs (unless you buy on an Indian Res), so keep that in mind.

  6. Hotel is booked, now I gotta get my passport in order and book the ferry over to Port Angeles.
    I'm picking up Eden at the Victoria airport and bringing her across with me! Soooo Excited!!!

  7. Yikes, doesn't look the hotel has high speed cable or wifi available. I'll have to make sure to download some FanFic before I leave.

  8. I'm leaving this post everywhere: If any one wants to share room/car let me know? ^_^

  9. Overwhelmed and can't think anymore. I am going to bed now. Will resume FFFOOORRRKKKSSS thoughts tomorrow. I just want to close with my quote of the day...

    I love all you Twitarded women (and one guy we are aware of)! You are all so funny, clever, crazy and awesome!

  10. Good news donnal14 I was just checking out the Forks Hotel website and it says that wifi is in all rooms! no need to panic about lack o' fanfic!

  11. I think I went into shock a bit when I booked my flight. I was in a complete tizzy pre getting everything sorted! I don't know how I'm going to sleep until the end of Sept.

  12. Ok so the scoop don't have to drive from the airport all the way to Forrrrkkkkss? You can take a ferry??? If so, and it shaves off time, that totally kicks ass.
    I'm coming...with sista' or without her. But, I hope she can come too! ;)
    Thanks for all the info Biotches!

  13. PS I hope their is a hotel near there in case that ones sells out, which it very well might. Can't afford to book air fair right this second...UGH Dirty 30 birthday please come and bring me $$$!

  14. Yes, we made sure that the Forks Motel/Hotel had wireless in all rooms....we don't want JJ curled up all fetal in the corner stroking her Blackberry. There is WIRELESS people...which means there will be blogging, twittering, fanfic updates, instant YouTube uploads (oops did I type that? Shit!)

    I can't even think straight I am so fucking excited. I was picking out my dress and shoes for the prom with everyone on Twitter today...that shit better fit and look good on me dammit!

    This Forks baby is already growing quite quickly in me...I am fearing bedrest and a C-section in my future...because the crazy in all of us is just going to get worse over the next 9 months.

    Love that Mr. STY was discussing the bad sparkle effect in Twilight. That just warms the cockles of my heart.


  15. Thank God for confirming wireless. Here is a link to the Washington State Ferry service from Seattle to the Olympic Peninsula (choose Bainbridge Island it's a shorter crossing and puts you closer to the hood canal bridge)
    Here is the link for the Port Angeles to Victoria ferry
    strongly recommend making reservations if you're taking a car. You can leave your car in PA and spend the day in Victoria. You will need a pass port to get back into the US though.

  16. So there is going to be a Forks Prom????? Did I miss something? VitaminR? Should I be looking at dresses?? Eeee!!

    For all of us whose birthdays are close to that weekend, we should rent out Bella Italia and have a super-party! Best present evah!

  17. That is so funny about Mr. Snarky. My husband is always asking me questions about what happened in the books then he goes and educates his brother on it. It's great! How could I ask for more?

  18. @AnnaBella There is some talk of having a Prom/Dance one of the evenings. I also need a dress and shoes for a wedding in England in March--I am using the double use of said dress and shoes to help justify the horrific cost of said shoes.

    There will be further announcements regarding scheduled activities as they become clearer. Fear not Twitards.

    Also I am going to post important links (like ferry info as posted above) soon on the Twitarded FB page. If there is any info you want there in particular please
    e-mail me at

  19. Hi Everyone,
    just discovered this blog :)
    Sounds like a hell of a trip.. Anyone heading that way from the Vancouver B.C. Area ?

  20. Please, please, PLEASE take a MILLION excellent pictures for me, you guys. Maybe one on First Beach that says "We wish you were here, Christy!"
    Because there's absolutely no way I can get off work AND come up with the money to get across the country. I'm so jealous of all of you. Seriously. I'm pouting.

  21. My hotel room is booked and all I have to do is wait... until October! This is almost worse that the Breaking Dawn/Twi/New Moon releases all rolled into 1.

  22. Here is the link for Bella Italia's web site which includes a menu

    It's a very small place, estimate their seating capacity to be around 50.

  23. The Pacific Inn is right across the street from the Forks Motel. I am concerned about the picture of the Forks motel because I have never seen a pool there.... Also the picture of DBT is the old store Make that original, and now the tour depot. We have some surprises in store for you in the real Dazzled by Twilight.

  24. I can't comment on the Forks bit, cause I can't go (waaay too far).

    But I can say that FSE looks so innocent and unsuspecting, and so much more pleasant than NM FSE.

    Also, instead of "we received some hysterically funny submissions" I read "we received some hysterically funny SUBMISSIVES" - and was, like wtf? Yep, too much fan fic will do that to a gal.

  25. @Lisa I'm in Vancouver BC and would love to join the twitards in Forks.

    @red_bella You're on Vanc Island?

    Would love if Annette had an after-hours shopping exclusive for us at Dazzled by Twilight. Renting out the bella italia sounds awesome too but they were really busy when I went. Might take too much $$$ but a great idea.
    Check out my Forks trip blog

    Thanks to all those who have checked it out so far.


  26. Totally jealous of all of you!
    I wish I could go! Sadly, I'm the only one I know obsessed with Twilight! Everyone else just looks at me and shakes their
    Have fun chickies!

  27. have fun! be sure to go to 1st Beach and maybe check out the Hoh Rainforest too - it's beautiful!

  28. The thought of going to forks seems so lame to me! I think the idea of getting fellow Twitards together is an awesome Idea, but at a rainy, buggy, place... just to stay in a flea bag motel, is NOT my idea of a good time! Can you guys write about something else please!

  29. Altho I haven't broken the Forks trip news to Mr. Monster (must have funds first or I risk giving him an instant coronary), guess what he surprised me with the other night? He totally bought me the Edward fleece blanket from Blockbuster, which is now on our bed! I can't believe he's sleeping underneath Edward! I can't believe I'm sleeping underneath Edward. Ahhhhh.....

    FFFFFOOOOORRRRKKKKKSSSSSSS! Lemme hear a big ole SQUEEEE from the whole room!

    vw: "hipersi" I'm totally hipersi over the Forks trip planning!

  30. Hells to the yeah! The Twiangle gals have been mulling over a fall 2010 trip (The Twication) for the past 9 months. The fact that it might coincide with The Great Twitarded Migration 2010 is fucking epic!

    Will be checking in for regular updates on the planning process and (if the stars and bank account align) hope to see you crazy bitches out there.


  31. I am flipping excited! Its going to be a looooong nine months thats for sure.
    When you booked your room at the Forks Motel do you pay right away or charge your card when you check in?

  32. @donnal14 - ok you almost gave me a heart attack - no wifi?! THE TRIP IS OFF!! lol... but we did make sure that it was available - for sure! thanks! and whew... oh and the hot springs is a great idea! i think? i have never been to a natural hot spring before. could be fun! i'll be the one in the soggy burka...

  33. Hello all - it's ISeeTwiPeople here!
    Ok, so Mr. ISTP is collecting on all the BJ's and dirty whore time he can and is really appreciative to you guys ever since I brought up going to Forks. He said "It's possible" even though he hasn't committed. I think he's trying to draw out the BJ's.
    Few issues to work on though:
    1. He wants to fly w/me and stay in Seattle. If he goes, what do we do with our two kids?
    2. I am in the process of looking for a job, so I will have to make sure to go ahead and mention that the end of Sept. will be vacation days. Is that bad?
    4. Sister - volvobackseater- wants to go as well and we aren't sure what to tell our mother. No way in Hell are we telling her this has to do with Twilight. She HATES that we are really into it.
    Any good ideas for us to tell our Mommy-not-a-fan? Of course, we are adults and should tell her to mind her own effing business, but I think she might be needed to babysit. :)

    So, just to be clear...the best place to fly into is SEA, right? Then it's about a 3 hour drive to Forks?

    P.S. I think a little Twilight "Scene It" or Trivia game is in order as well. I have two board games and no one to play them with. A Fanfiction trivia game would be awesome!
    Ok, gotta go and find my knee pads and Catholic School girl outfit.

  34. First, let me say how much I love Twitarded. They are the best Twi-blog and have inspired many of us to launch our own blogs.

    Secondly, STFU about Forks. Yes you are excited. Yes many of your bloggy BFFs are going. I expect an occasional post about the trip. Have you considered that even if 120 of your bloggy buddies join you then 90% of your followers will not be able to go???

    If the majority of posts between now & October are about your trip, we folks who can't go may have to unite and create an evil plan. Maybe hacking in and taking over Twitarded while you are without wi-fi? We have 9 months to plan and very evil minds.

  35. So I guess now is as good a time as any to start a support group for those of us NOT going to Forks...I have a feeling we are going to need it. :(

  36. @fanficzombie - *raising hand* I'll be the first to join. I'm so happy for everyone that is going, and looking forward to posts of the incarceration that is sure to take place, and equally mortified that I won't be able to join in. Call the waaambulance, I'm feeling sorry for myself!

  37. @STY - Oh good! I was worried I was the only one going to be sporting a burka for the springs!

    @Rob's Swiss Miss - "The Great Twitarded Migration 2010" Love it! Snorted tea out my nose.

  38. @Jennifer - Welcome back! I hope the move went well :)

    @Zany Mouse - you know I heart you, so I promise to make you feel like you're taking a virtual trip to FFFFOOORRRRKKSSSS and I'll buy you all kinds of cool stuff

    (I got my plane tix today - squeee!!!)

  39. Calm down, anti-Forkers - lol!! We hear you! And we get it - really! JJ and I were just saying that we need to talk about other stuff for a while. So while you can expect that we'll be bringing it up here and there, we promise not to bore the shit out of you/make you angry (with that, anyway)/blather on about nothing else. Really! We love all you guys and while I think the Forks trip is going to be far from "lame" [ahem - really, anon? you doubt the ability of this group of women to have a fun time wherever they go?], we know that the majority of our readers are not going/possibly not interested/fed up with it already.

    RELAX! (that goes for the half-dozen people who unfollowed me on Twitter yesterday, too - lol)

    We will be bringing everyone back to our usual Twitarded wonkiness this evening and JJ had promised to not mention Forks for at least the next two days. At least not here... We DO have some planning to do, people!

    : )

    veriword: faings - ok twat waffles, put your faings away and chill - we'll talk about something other than Forks soon!

  40. This was bad enough when I only thought 4 of you were going...with so many of you the odds of a major scandal just increased drastically!!

    Someone had better take pics for those of us "left behind" so to speak.

  41. I am looking up flights from phl to sea. And one of the ones available has a layover in Phoenix... I think this is meant to be!

  42. i am soo jealous!! its like you said i never knew i wanted to go to forks but you girls have uncovered aneed in me!
    unfortunately for me my life is getting and in the the way of living out my twilight yearnings ( damn living in the uk and young children!) but definately want to live vicariously through your adventures!
    listen seriously, who doesnt fancy a weekend of hard drinking and constant twicrack at the mecca of twiland?! boo to you miserable gals /whore flaps.....!

  43. I live in WA. Forks will be a blast chicas. I am hosting my own little Twilighters escape there in June for Eclipse. Word to the wise. Pacific Pizza is FABULOUS!! It is in downtown Forks. I have it on great authority the Bella Italia place sucks or blows, whatever your preference!
    Any way you look at it, fun will be had. Plan on 4 hours from Seattle to Forks, ferries are not quick and lines are VERY long. You can prebook a ferry ride but must show up 45-60 minutes before said ferry leaves. Do it that way if you can. Here is the link for you:

    have fun ladies!!!!

  44. HOLY SHIZZBALLS, BATMAN! My home town is on your blog...on that map! why does that make me want to go to Forks with you even more? I don't know but it's like we have a special connection. one that comes from seeing the words "twitarded" and "Yakima" nestled so close to one another. *snort* I am a nerd.

    now just because you know I'm from Yakima doesn't mean you can stalk me.....cause I'm not there anymore. if you would like to stalk me, send me an email. *wink*



    Fuck ME girls.....I would literally whore out on weekends to do this!

    Probz. I'm already going on the Twilight Cruise to Alaska on 08.08.2010 and I'm trying to envision an economic recovery from that polar cluster fuck that will allow for the Fantastic Forks Fuckery weekend.

    PLEASE keep the deets coming. I'm going to round up some "clients" ASAP.

    Belle Du Jour


    Mama Cougar
    The Cougar’s Den

  46. @Twitarded Mom and
    @fanficzombie - me too. STFU about Forks. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ wake me up when you get back and have cool stories, otherwise take it "off-line" for the most part.

    Yes, I'm jealous, but too much of this gets boring. Thanks for listening.

    BTW, who won the Twitarded 1st anniversary prizes? Wasn't the 'drawing' on Sunday night?! Wha' happened??

  47. @ Twi-Me? - I'm going to direct you to STY's comment above.

  48. Man, some of you guys are total ass waffles when it comes to blog topics.

    JJ & STY - You two could spend a week talking about naked surfing on First Beach or prom dress shopping in Port Angeles and I wouldn't care. You are always funny, no matter the subject at hand. So please, carry on.


  49. This is awesome and I'm "meeting" so many cool people b/c of this Twitarded invasion. Can't wait.

  50. Idea for next years trip.... Italy!!! For St Marcus Day! Twitarded goes global!


  51. Dude I think just for the haters you should post about FFFFORRKSSS every day for the next fucking 9 months! It's your damn blog, you write about whatever the fuck you want to write about. This is your blog, your world, you just get the opportunity to read. Some pretty damn entitled people to expect people who do this for fucking FREE and our entertainment to take requests and not write about the things that make them happy

    One year you found Twilight and it was brand new and awesome and captivating. You started this blog to talk about that. Followers start reading and think it's entertaining, but you write about what you freaking want. Now you have a new part of the Twilight world that is fun and awesome and captivating again, and makes you excited. I'd rather read about something you are thrilled about than anything else. I think people should take time to remember that

    That being said, is there a place to go talk to organize all this? I'd like to go- is there a Facebook group?

  52. Noooooooooooooo! Not October! I think I'll need to reserve a spot on the waaaaambulance after all. I'm pretty sure I can't go in late September/October, but I won't know for sure till August and that's just too late. This blows. I'm off to curl up in a ball of misery till Eclipse comes out.


  53. I'm so annoyed that I can't be a part of this trip! You better take an ass load of pictures, streaming video, you get the point. Document, document, document. I'm so JEALOUS!!! Maybe I can hoard my tax return (without my husband knowing), sneak away for three days (without my children noticing) and join you, but alas, I know it will not happen. I'm jealous, but extremely excited for you!

  54. ***HEY GUYS! FYI. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT TAKE THE FERRY OVER! It takes much longer that way due to the waiting!I am saying this having been to the Seattle/Port Angeles/Vancouver Area in October. It's also more EXPENSIVE!If you're driving onto the ferry with a car it's like 20 bucks plus the per person charge. Sooo...It's prettier to drive and cheaper too! So anyways I wish I could go but my credit cards are still in pain from the trip we took in October I'll be there in spirit though!

  55. @Twilove1 - Awww, you're so sweet. I know you will have the time of your life with all the other whoreflaps in Fooorrkks.

    To all you haters out there, let's be happy for them. Just because we can't go doesn't mean we have to rain on their parade. Besides, Rob will be here with us, sharing our cupcakes.

  56. Ok, so I'm going to out myself as one of your followers who has no desire to go to Forks. Well, more like no funds, but I feel better if I say no desire. But, it doesn't irritate me in the least to hear about your plans. Should be a great time. I'm trying to save my twi-funds for something maybe Eclipse release related and/or attending the Twilight convention in Northern Virginia in April. So, enjoy the planning - the 9 months will certainly be better than my pregnancy was. I hope.

  57. I am a hop skip and a jump away and will deffo be there <3 Though I quickie to Vancouver should be added to this trip heh heh


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