My gift to you is a mental image of this dude and RPattz gettin' it on. Your day now officially sucks as much as mine. You're welcome.
Don't believe me? True story - my lovely bloggy buddy Snarkier Than You sent out a tweet a few days ago declaring that I had been abducted by aliens and replaced with a much meaner (and more evil) JJ and I DIDN'T EVEN RESPOND. At all. Normally, this would have resulted in a full-on Twitter war, possibly followed by me fire-bombing her house. But I did nothing.
Whether or not that tweet was deserved is besides the point, but I do plan on paying her back by tinkling some pee on her toilet seat the next time I visit. Clean that, Snarkface!
Anyway. Despite the work buggery, there was one thing that I absolutely could not miss. I mean, it was like the gasp-heard-round-the-twidom that rivaled the day the shirtless Edward pictures came out from New Moon.
Three words, ladies: Kellan Lutz's UnderBulge
Oops. Wrong picture.
Another true story: Mr. I'm-smoking-hot-in-my-name-brand-skivvies-with-the-reinforced-crotch-that-will-turn-yellow-from-pee told me he loved me.
So, we're like totally married now. I'm going to have a million of his babies.
Okay, okay, not even I'm that delusional and I wouldn't want to marry him anyway because he's probably a really sweet boy and I'll make him cry.
But I feel so much closer to him now that I can make out his nutsack in this picture...
It's very rare that we ogle anyone other than RPattz, I just realized. Guess we're not as slutty as we thought. [Note from STY: When I clicked on these pics yesterday off Twitter, I felt totally slutty. Like REALLY slutty. Like all I could look at was his ginormous package. And his dewy pecs. Yup, very slutty. Thank you, Stephenie Meyer, for making me sluttier now than I ever have been before in my life. Oh the irony...]
That will have to change...
Like right now. Enjoy!