Monday, June 7, 2010

Twilight Wins Everything! A Movie Awards Critique.

I'm not going to lie, I fucking hate the MTV Movie Awards or any MTV production with a burning hot passion. Maybe it's because I'm fast approaching 40 and waaaaaay out of their target demographic. Or maybe it's because those people are just annoying ass lickers. But being the obsessed Twitard that I am, I felt the need to at least Tivo the awards and do a quick scan through it. And by quick scan, I mean watch only shit that is Twilight-related.



I apologize for not being able to give you my review of the red carpet crap because knowing that those schmucks from the Joisey Shore were present (and I don't mean JJ and STY), made me kinda throw up a little in my mouth. And I just knew that if Snookie got her pudgy Oompa Loompa orange man hands on the Precious, I would have gone all postal and shit on my television. So I opted to steer clear of that giant circle jerk.

First I need to give a lil' shout out to Tom Cruise and his over-the-top Les Grossman skits. Amazing! I've never been a big TC fan but he makes me laugh out loud with that shit. The dance number he did with J Lo made me nearly piss myself. He's not a bad dancer...


And now, without further ado, here are the highlights (or my highlights anyways, because seriously, I literally watched this thing in less than 30 minutes, paying attention only to our Twilight peeps.)

1. KStew wins Best Female Performance. Makes me wonder if one of the prerequisites for this award was who does the most twitching and stuttering. At least we know she comes by it honestly. And since she nearly pitched her popcorn statue into the front row of the audience last year, she smartly set it down while she gave her arm flailing acceptance speech.

2. KStew and RPattz win Best Kiss. Aw ya they did! And why wouldn't they? I bet RPattz could win that award kissing me! Can someone please give me a chance at that? Huh? Please? And their acceptance speech was absolutely fucking adorable. They acted all clumsy (well, KStew doesn't really need to act clumsy since she nearly took a digger the minute she got up from her seat!) and stupid while trying to reenact their best kiss for the audience. There was a lot of cursing and bumping of heads and it just made me smile...



3. Eclipse clip. Muther fucking crap I can't wait to see this movie. In fact, I need to see this movie right fucking NOW for my survival. And ya know, I don't even give a steamy flying shit about Bella's wig anymore. I can't stop drooling over Edward long enough to even focus on what she looks like. Oh, I think this is gonna be a good one! [Spoiler ALERT!]


4. RPattz wins Best Male Performance AND Global Superstar. He's so incredibly fucking adorkable I just want to keep him in my pocket and stroke him all day long. I love that he thanked his parents for conceiving him. I'd like to conceive something with him... And my GAWD did he look amazingly delicious in that white v-neck t-shirt that makes me damp just thinking about it. I want to gobble him up.


5. Twilight Saga: New Moon wins Best Movie. Quite the fitting ending to what appeared to be the Twilight Movie Awards. PFach, chosen by his cast mates to give the acceptance speech, proceeded to say "fuck" about 27 times while thanking everyone. And I really think he threw the "bleepers" for a loop because they missed about half of them. Fucking priceless. And a perfect ending.


I thank Edward every day for my TiVo so I'm not forced to watch three hours of this shit... but I do love seeing all my Twilighty friends!

*Photos from Robsessed. Click here to see the fucking awesome collection!

49 comments:

  1. WOW! I've never been first before.
    I just posted the JLO and Tom Cruise video on my blog as well. I lurved it. Tom can throw down like a fly girl.

    Rob looked adorable and happy. KStew is a babe. I appreciated their Best Kiss acceptance effort. Too cute.

    Thought Taylor should have won Best Male Performance *hears collective gasp* ...but it's all good ladies.

    Rob thanking Kristen, so sweet.

    Okay, I wasn't nearly funny enough or racy enough for the first comment.

    Carry on...

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  2. I couldn't help but think of Mrs. P and her video contest when they played Sweet Dreams by Beyonce when Rob and Kristen won best kiss!!

    Not a Robsten fan but that was too cute! Sadly, any liking I had to KStew faded when she scowled at Rob's thank you!!

    PS: thanks to Lisa at 17forever I finally able to read The Office! Ah-may-zing!!!!

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  3. LKW: I too am out of the MTV demographic by a few years- but actually enjoyed the awards (PFach's acceptance was priceless!)... One problem (aside from the host & Jacksper being off camera) Why in the hell did Bella willingly get on the bike with Jake?! She basically told Edward to fuck off.

    (Just wanted you h00rs to know that my job has officially blocked Twitarded.. no one else's blog yet.. just ya'll. Thanks!)

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  4. Hell, I'm so out of touch with the MTV demographic that I didn't even know the MTV movie awards were on last night. Yes, that's right, I live under an "I'm almost 40" rock.

    I'm not a big KStew fan but she's one lucky little spaz. I can't decide if Rob is more adorkable or more "so hot you make my undies damp" in that video. Is it possible for him to be both or am I just one sick twisted individual?

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  5. What I saw of the awards was exactly what I expected.....lame ass crap.

    The only thing that I found remotely entertaining was when Rob looked like he was going to brain Kristen with the award while smiling manically. See for yourself: http://twilightsagapalooza.blogspot.com/2010/06/you-know-you-want-to.html

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  6. ZOMG - Okay, I'll admit it, I am a total effing sucker for the MTV Movie Awards. I lurve them. I lurve them like a fucking h00r loves the cock.

    Some of my favorite non-Twilight moments were Tom Cruise doing the Les Grossman shit, and Marky Mark and Will Ferrell hanging above poor Tom Felton while he gave his acceptance speech - LOVED. Oh, and Sandy B!

    But down to the real Twilighty goodness.

    A) I know KStew catches a lot of shit for all her antics, but for some reason, in the last few months, I've really kind of come to love her. I get that she's awkward and comes off bitchy, but I kind of just want to hug her anyways.

    B) I thought the stuff they did for Best Kiss was adorable, and when Rob finally grabs her at the end... let's just say I had no problems at all putting myself in KStews shoes!

    C) I TOTALLY MOTHERFUCKING SQUEEED during the Eclipse clip! (Say that three times fast)Seriously - I thought KStew was far less twitchy and ROBZOMGCAN'TEVENHANDLETEHHOT! Also? This might be a random thing to note, but I thought Taycob TOTALLY NAILED the line where Bella asks why he hasn't called, and you see his face harden and he goes, "I had nothin to say." For some reason, that totally won me over for Taylor as an actor - that's EXACTLY how I always pictured Jacob when Bella says he gets that look, when he's not "her Jacob," when he reminds her of Sam...

    D) PFACH YOU ARE ONE FUCKAWESOME MOTHAFUCKA!!!!!!! Seriously - this totally made my night. I cannot emphasize how much I fucking loved his acceptance speech, right down to not cursing when it came to Stephenie Meyer - "Cause she's a Mormon!" Oh Pfach, I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you.

    WHEW! Sorry for that, twatwaffles! Had to get it out. And now we know why the Pimp does not have soda after 9 pm anymore.

    vw: cillili. It took me roughly nine tries to type that correctly.

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  7. I just wanted to let you know I watched the whole thing including the red carpet. I hate "Jersey (you'll get herpies from watching us) Shore" with a passion but I wanted you to know that the little oompa loompa did not get her sausage fingers on any of our Twilight peeps, well none that made it on TV anyways. But anyone can correct me if I'm wrong.. but if I am its probably from blacking out at the mere sight of it.

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  8. Well I'm under the *gasp* over 40 rock and caught the last lttle bit of the awards. Got to see Rob and Pfach's acceptance speech that was enough for me.

    Rob was panty scorching hot! Loved when he thanked Kristen and Peter's acceptance speech was priceless I lost count of the number of times he said fuck.

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  9. I honestly don't think Kristen was scowling when Rob thanked her. I've watched that clip a few times, and I think the look on her face at first -- before she realizes the camera is on her -- is like, "Awwwwww..." like she's touched. But then she realizes the camera's on her, and she makes a funny face. Not a scowl exactly, but more like an embarrassed smile/grimace. At least that's the way it looked to me after multiple viewings.

    I don't know -- I like KStew, even when she's nervous and twitchy. I like that she doesn't appear to be a doormat and calls Rob on his self-deprecating crap when he gets too into it. Yeah, I'm a bigger fan of him by far, but I think Kristen has to put up with a lot of shit from fans and paps, and she's handling it the best she can for as young as she is.

    I used to think that Rob was the lover in that duo, but after Kristen's ElleUK interview, I'm convinced she's just as into him as he is her, except she's much less comfortable showing it in public. I think if it were up to him, he'd be shouting it from rooftops and such. He seems to wear his heart on his tattered sleeve for sure when it comes to her.

    All that said, I'm WAY too old for this award show, but I watch it anyway. Fuck'em. Nuthin's gonna keep me away from The Pattz, not even MTV with all its assorted fuckery.

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  10. @Jude- I can see that, the not exactly scowling thing. Perhaps I should watch Robs speech a few more times for clarity :)

    I agree to that Rob seems to be the one who wouldn't mind a little PDA, but once they officially let that cat out of the bag, she'll be facing questions like " What"s his O face like??" Not like many of us wouldn't like to know ;)

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  11. I knew this was your post immediately you filthy twat!

    Well done, well done.

    xo J

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  12. I watched it this afternoon online, where I could skip over all the ads at least (mostly) which I'm sure cut about an hour out of the program.

    I too Loved TC and the Les Grossman stuff. That shit is just funny, I don't care who you are. And when he told Will Smith "oh, Fresh Prince says your ready" I horked on my coffee. I have no love for TC, but this character is awesome and I'll watch him in anything.

    On to TwiNM stuff: I hate KStew more every time I see or hear her. Right after I found all those pictures of her giving the finger to the press in Australia during a boat ride with Taycob, then she mocks MTV while accepting her award. What did she say at the end, "peace out"? Oh pulleeeeze. She just comes off as such a bitch IMO all the damn time. She's not good enough for him. He deserves someone sweet and she's a total prickly pear. Yuck.

    The Precious on the other hand can do no wrong. He's right up there with Jesus in my book at this point (except I never wanted to do dirty things to Jesus -- ok, maybe I just went too far...). He's so sweet and funny and self effacing. I loved that he thanked his parents for conceiving him too. And what was that shit with trying to fake the kiss? I didn't get that. I wish they'd just kissed. And I didn't see Runaways but the kiss btwn Kstew and Dakota looked pretty hot to me.

    I loved Peter's speech at the end too. He's a class act, no doubt about that. Even while saying "fuck" he manages to remain classy. Is that even possible? But where was Jacksper, did he miss the party? And Kellan?

    I can't wait for Eclipse, that trailer has me drooling. I do hate that they fucked with the school confrontation scene so much. She doesn't go off with Jacob and ditch Edward in the book, wtf is that about? Bella never would have walked away from Edward in the book. Creative licence? Maybe Steph wasn't on set that day. I still think they need a Twitard on set to keep them honest.

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  13. I guess I'm going to be the one to break out onto the other side of the spectrum and say I wanted to punch the Stew in the throat- he thanks her and gets an eye roll. The only good thing about the Twi portions of the awards were Rob winning Male and Global Superstar, Movie (Peter's fantastic fucking speech) and Anna. The Kiss display was rigoddamndiculous either kiss him or don't but get over yourself already. The explanation about how it takes the smoke and mirror and blah blah blah- please. I mean shit if she doesn't want to kiss the pretty I will gladly step in and do it for her. Next year I say they cut the bullshit, take their awards, say thanks and leave. The clip was also disappointing because they made Edward look like the asshole boyfriend and he's not. Sorry to be the Debbie Downer and spew here guys but I've had enough Stew love for the last two days...

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  14. Thank you @vermonstermom4edward she pisses me off the more I see her too. I was really just neutral about her for a long time but she just keeps proving to me time and time again why I just can't like her. If she wasn't so condescending all the damn time. She needs to get it through her fucking head that if she wants to continue with her career and make non saga movies it's going to be her saga fans that pay the money to go see those movies and keep her employed because no one else is going to go see her shit.

    And I'm with you on Rob too, the kid just kills it every time. He's the only reason I voted for them for kiss, if getting him a win included her ass too so be it.

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  16. stilllookingformyvampJune 7, 2010 at 11:59 PM

    Didn't see the awards, just caught the vids online today. I am also a year or 10 out of their demographic.

    First, TC's best roll EVER is Les Grosman. He just rocks it.

    When I saw the pics of KStew in Australia, she just pissed me off. I have tried to cut her some slack because she is young, she has been thrown into this mega super star roll, she is twitchy, uncomfortable, etc., but honey, flipping off the press isn't the way.

    Now RPatz, he made my panties catch fire and melt away. Sweet Jesus. 'Nuff said.

    That scene in Eclipse really, really bothers me. WTF??? That scene makes Edward look like a total pansy ass panty waste. Yeah, gonna let the girl he loves with every fiber of his being jump on the back of the motorcycle with the "other guy." Huge disappointment right there for moi. Won't stop me from seeing the movie though.

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  17. I'm gonna say it. I'm soo disappointed in the clip of Eclipse we saw. My heart sank about a million feet through my feet at how screwed up it was. It does not give me hope for the rest of the movie. I almost cried at how awful it is. Is it me or does it seem like they are soo trying to make the movies about Bella and Jacob? I swear Melissa must totally be in love with Jacob b/c she writes him in so much and makes him out to be the good guy and soo different from the books. It hurts that I am not as excited to see Eclipse as I was b/c Eclipse is my all time favorite of the 4 books. If ends up being shite I'm gonna be pissed. I am holding out hope that that one scene is the only fucked up scene there is. I am keeping my fingers crossed.

    About KStew OMFG I can't stand that girl, sorry but she annoys me more and more. Oh and I'm soo over her acting like life is just soo fucking miserable to be a star and be involved with Twilight. Everytime Twilight something or another is said or fans cheer she is rolling her eyes or mocking it or acting like OMG Not again. She acts like she doesn't want to be associated with it. How many girls out there would die to be in her spot right now? To be Bella Swan and she acts like it's such a fricking chore. Ugh she just gets under my skin. I have never liked her, can't stand her acting (and yes I have seen her in everything but the Runaways) She is not a good actor by any stretch of the imagination.

    Ok I'll get off my soapbox now but Ugh was soo annoyed by it her and the clip and I haven't seen anyone else who felt the same.

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  18. Speaking of that HIDEOUS turquoise jacket on JR, I'm watching TV out of one eye and 2/3 of way through a Criminal Minds rerun it dawns on me that he's the crazed serial killer. Now I wish I'd been played closer attention! He does weird psycho pretty well.

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  19. I ruv roo, Latch Snatch! I knew we could count on you to cover The Prehtay's night on the town. G-DAMMIT he looked fine. And I'm with Hypo...Where the HELL is the crotch cam?!? I know there were cameras on the catwalks...The least they could do was zoom in!

    Rob winning best male performance cracked me up because I think the voting public was R-tarded. Stay with me for a minute. The only way Rob would win for his performance over the others is if they do what we do: fast the fuck forward. Otherwise, it was total bullshit. Not that I'm not grateful!! I LOVED watching him stroke both of those awards at the same time with his fingers from the gods..molding his hands over them like they were my tits, fondling the kernels....shit. Lost my train of thought.

    The kiss was hilarious. And I am completely learning to love KStew. Twitchy bitchy hottie that she is. Except I was not feeling the D&G get up. Her makeup was bangin'....and her shoes...Speaking of...

    HELLO, MAMA ESME! She was looking KICK-ASS! As was Anna K. Her shoes made me want to lick her. I'm pissed that the whole clan didn't get camera love (WTF?! I needed a Jacksper fix!), but Daddy C's speach was CLASSIC. Especially when MTV 'forgot' to censor one of the "fuck"s. I only know about this from fb/youtube since I'm on the west coast, and by the time it got played out here it was all bleeped.

    All in all, pretty much win for the Twidom. Except for the Vaginaward trailer. WTF.

    **********************************
    OH OH OH OOOOOOHHHHH!! And I just finished The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner. When are we gonna talk about this shit? Tomorrow? I CAN'T WAIT THAT LONG!!

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  20. I have to agree with EVERYTHING @vermonstermom4edward & @layna.lane had to say. I can tell you now she won very few friends here (Australia)carrying on the way she did. I got the distinct impression last night that Rob was wanting to be affectionate & she just brushed him off at every chance she got. The time that stuck in my mind the most was when they were going up to the stage to accept the best kiss (I think) and he went to put his arm around her & she pushed him away. WTF is wrong with her? And as for putting her hands on his face (grrrr) & pushing him away...Even my 12 yo daughter thought that was awful. She needs to grow up, smell the napalm & get over herself or her career will be over after the Twi shit wears off.
    Les Grosman is fucking priceless!
    I love Jaxper but WHAT THE FUCK was he wearing???? AAAHHHH....
    Peter Fuckinelli is my hero & I'm super envious of his wife right now, lucky bitch.
    I love the way Anna wore a dress that "made my boobs look good" wish Rob would notice them too.

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  21. Don't you think at 20 years old Kristen should be able to cope with the press and the paps and the stupid ass awards shows a little better? Kristen is a grown ass woman. Look at Dakota Fanning. She's not flipping people off and rolling her eyes at the camera, and she's only 16 for cripes sake.

    It's not cute, it's not awkward, it's not shy, it's immature. I hope she's getting some professional counseling because at this rate, she's going to self destruct by the time she's 25. I mean seriously, would you tolerate that behavior from your daughter, sister, cousin or anyone? No, you'd smack them.

    I could go on for hours but instead I think I'll just flip everyone off and roll my eyes.

    Peace out

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  22. I didn't watch it.. completely forgot it was on. I usually don't have the patience for MTV anyway, most of the time. But I did watch all the Twi related clips online.. of course! Btw what IS the MTV demographic any way???

    Okay I'm just gonna say it.. I love Stew. I love that she's a feisty little biotch and doesn't seem to or feel the need to pander to anyone. And she looked pretty foxy last night too.
    @mmMoxie: *shrugs* Maybe she was just rolling her eyes, trying provoke Rob's palm to.. twitch???... never know!....

    And Rob? Well what can I say that hasn't already been said? --Equal parts a-fucking-dorable and panty melting hawtness all in one tall lanky package. Oh and never did I expect Daddy C to break out the F bombs but I nearly pissed myself and he no doubt got extra Twitarded points.

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  23. I thought the awards were great,I don't care if I'm in my mid 30's I'm a watchin them anyways. I didn't even mind the clip even though they changed it from the book,after seeing the first 2 movies I EXPECT them to change things from the book. I would prefer that they didn't but oh well.
    I also have to say that I like KStew,I may not be a fan of all of her movies that I've seen but I like her. I like that she's twitchy and clumsy and yes,sometimes bitchy. It makes her a real person in my head. She doesn't try to be anyone else but herself and I like that. I wish people would lay off her a bit. She tries and people still bitch about her. They say she doesn't smile enough so you see her in more pictures smiling and then people pick on what she's wearing instead,she says she doesn't like speaking a lot because she's worried she'll say the wrong thing and upset people but she tries and then people freak out and take what she said wrong. I get that she's famous but it doesn't mean she has to like being followed around and harassed 24/7. I'm sorry,but if I had a camera in my face all the time I'd get pissed too and flip the finger. She's aloud to have bad days,we all are..the difference is she has to have them in front of the world and she screws up sometimes. Okay,I'm hopping off the soapbox now.

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  24. Amazing, I was watching last night literally yelping whenever they won something! Brilliant! And oh my god RPattz is adorkable, I just love him. I mean who thanks their parents for concieving him when recieving an award, just Rob and we love him for it!

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  25. Um, PFach's dirty mouth makes me want to make out with him... hard. Jennie is one lucky bitch.

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  26. @LindsayRae - CAN WE TALK ABOUT IT NOW? NOW? PLEASE? PLEEEEEASE??

    @Canadiantwitard - I'm so with you! I give props to the girl for tryin! It's one thing to be cool with being famous, but it's another thing to have people constantly harassing you - a lot of times I imagine how I'd act in the same situation. Honestly? If someone was following me and taking pictures while I was just trying to catch a smoke break, I'd probably just burst into tears like "Please I just want to smooooke and if you take pictures then my mom will bitch at me!" and then the paps would be like 'FOOORKSPIMP CRIES!" and there would be pictures of my blotchy crying face all over the news and THEN I'd cry every time I saw them (I cry sooo easily), and they'd be like "FOOORKSPIMP IS DEPRESSED!" and I'd be like "Shit! But what about that movie I'm in? Can't you talk about that?" And things would be bad all around. I also tend to have verbal diarrhea ever time I'm nervous and people are looking at me to say something, and I start talking about TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE STUFF like how I forgot to put on deodorant this morning and everyone in the conversation takes a collective step back. So in short, I have a soft spot for our twitchy girl :)

    Whew!/rant!

    Also, @LKW - PFach's dirty dirty mouth makes me want to do SO MUCH MORE than make out with him - Sorry, adorable wife and children. :-/

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  27. I am so over KS acting like every bit of publicity is an intrusion in her life.
    Yeah, I am in Oz and thought her flipping the paps was really immature.Made her out to be a real diva. The paps are everywhere she goes. Why act out here?
    Did she think she was going on a press tour to hicksville and only the kangaroos would be interested in taking pics of her??...wtf???

    Her nervous 'performance' at the mtv awards just made me dislike her even more.
    If she is such a great actress who has been in the biz for years why can't she 'act' her way through a 3 minute acceptance speech?

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  28. @Lindsay Rae- LOL!!! I thought/daydreamed the same thing about how he fondled those buckets of golden popcorn!!!

    going to re-watch that acceptance speech now...

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  29. If you end up watching the whole thing... Believe it or not, it was actually funny this year! And they mention Twilight like every 5 minutes... They know how to get our attention!

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  30. You mirrored my thoughts pretty much to the T. I LOATHE any awards show, particularly those on MTV. I'm 32, so yeah, I'm past their demographic and I can't stand 99% of those schmucks. They are all so damn self-righteous and they think that what they do matters so much, when in actuality, it SO doesn't. I would have rather been waterboarded than watch those freaks from The Jersey Shore. But, I digress . . . I ended up watching the damn thing live, although I set out to record it and do what you did, skimming through to Twi-related stuff. I loved Peter's "speech!" I'm not sure why the censors suddenly fell off their game when he started spewing the f-bombs. They were on it all night, but I guess they didn't figure anyone (except maybe KStew) from Twilight would say fuck that many times. I also loved when he said he wouldn't swear for Stephenie because "she's Mormon." And, as always, "The Precious" was beautiful and awkward. :)

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  31. @Latch Snatch: FUCK! I want to, but I'm getting ready to head out the door! Can I count on a Bree Blog Post when I get home? I don't want to miss the party. And I have SO much to say. (PAGE 78 MUCH?!?!?!) All I have to say is

    Big Announcy-style Voice

    THE SHORT SECOND LIFE OF BREE TANNER SHOULD BE REQUIRED READING FOR ANY AND ALL TWIHARDS/TARDS WHO ARE GOING TO SEE ECLIPSE. EVER.

    Fuck. I want to sit and talk with you about this right now, but I have to peace out.

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  32. @HV - Your ability to go from Mothering the Precious to wanting to do dirty dirty things to him in a blink of an eye never fails to slay me...

    @Lindsay - I'm glad I wasn't the only one who wanted to be those buckets of popcorn!!!!
    AND PLEASE...lets talk about BREE!!!

    PFach stole the whole damned show, except of course for those moustaches...they were...well, can words really describe their awesomeness?

    Kstew...that damned eye roll when Rob thanked her....I almost threw my remote at the TV.. WTF!!! Get over it already. I don't give a damned shit if they are or aren't together at this point, but at least be nice to our Precious!!

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  33. Loved the post, LKW!!!!

    I tried to resist the MTV awards, but after the RPattz commercial I had to watch.

    They pulled me in right at the beginning with the Bad Ass Cops....seriously...this could be a movie and I would go see it. The 70's porn staches KILLED me...All they needed was Billy Burke in the middle and I would have died right then and there.

    I puffy heart PFach and his filthy mouth.

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  34. Rob was sweet and gracious and gorgeous as usual. I loved when he kissed Kristen. Adorable.

    I want to hate KStew because frankly, she drives me sort of nuts. But I can't. Why? Because she is me. Well, except for the flawless beauty part of course. She reminds me so much of myself at age 19/20, I really can't hate her. If I had been in her position at that age, it would have been me flippin' the bird to the paps with a ciggy hanging off my lips. I can only say, she is young and she will learn a lot in the next few years.

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  35. I'm 40 and always watch this award show because it is always entertaining & I'm always interested to see just how far they are going to push the envelope.
    The show made me remember why I used to love Tom Cruise back in the day.
    I'm with FreakyBella, they mentioned Twi constantly & were always showing Robsten or Taycob in camera shots. Definately worth over 2 hours of my time. Oh, and let me just fucking mention that I fucking love Peter Fuckanelli even more now than ever before. And, epic FAIL MTV on missing all of the F-bombs.
    Finally, I'm kind of neutral on Stew. I like her & like that she's an individual. I don't take the stuff she says or does to seriously, just like Rob (remember 'allergic to vaginas' anyone?)
    Also, I like Rob's new haircut, but I like a little bit of hair at the nape of the neck to grab on to.

    wv: finges. I'd love to have Rob's finges running all over my body like they were those statues.

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  36. Alright I'm feeling PO'ed so I'm just gonna come right out and say it. Why the F*ck can I find NO clips of PFach's F-bomb on YouTube! All the MTV clips are 'not available in my area' and I'm deprived. DEPRIVED I tell you! No Robsten! No kiss/not-kiss whatever! How is a twitard supposed to maintain this addiction when the interweb declines me??? Oh well...


    On a different note, we need to discuss Bree. Little tart. I know we're all pissed that SM wrote this *commercial opportunity* novella instead of finishing a certain EPOV that we'd much rather had... but what does everyone think?

    W/V - Pokett. I'd poke it if I had the chance...

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  37. @Stacked Like Sookie - Peter Fuckinelli... LMAO that is perfect!!

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  38. I am KStew neutral. She seems so high maintenance, but if she makes the Precious happy..... that's all that matters. She does need to get a grip however. The girl needs to smoke a big bowl, listen to some Jerry Garcia lyrics, and calm the fuck down already.

    I should get a name here. I have to stop posting as one of many anons.

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  39. @ Heart 50- I would love to have a Bree discussion. Read it last night. Don't want to give away any spoliers to those who haven't read it yet, but I was like "WTF!? Red headed? Which Cullen has RED fucking hair?"

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  40. See more MTV movie awards red carpet videos on My Celebrity Cafe.

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  41. Anon- that is hilarious! I was thinking the same thing. IT'S F*CKING BRONZE!! How insulting...

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  42. You know, MTV used to actually play music. It was a beuatiful time, up until about 1995. That was when Road Rules started and then BAM the fucking realty show idea took over EVERYTHING! I actually watched, ecited to see the stars, hopng to catch a glimps of Rob and all his hot glory. But no, instead, MTV decided the stupid fuckers of Jersey Shore we're more important. I think MTV owes everyone a major apology for traumatizing us with that shit. I could feel my brain cells drizzling away. GAH!

    I had to resort to chatting with another blog site and got my head bit off for pointing out how god damn boring those triute things are. It was Sandra Bullok and I said she looked awkward. She did, I swear. And this one girl started biting my head off about the insensitivity to her situation. *sighs* I swear, I'll never do that agian. Im traumatized.

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  43. **SPOILER ALERT**

    @Anon- I read it the other day and I'll never look at Bree the same again. I was practically in tears at the end.

    Imagine how awsome it would be to be discussing MidnightSun instead of the short second life of Bree Tanner? Im glad she wrote it; it gave us a clearer insite into Jaspers world. We read about on week in that environment, imagine his being decades? God.

    Lets discuss.

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  44. You mirrored my thoughts pretty much to the T. I LOATHE any awards show, particularly those on MTV. I'm 32, so yeah, I'm past their demographic and I can't stand 99% of those schmucks. They are all so damn self-righteous and they think that what they do matters so much, when in actuality, it SO doesn't. I would have rather been waterboarded than watch those freaks from The Jersey Shore. But, I digress . . . I ended up watching the damn thing live, although I set out to record it and do what you did, skimming through to Twi-related stuff. I loved Peter's "speech!" I'm not sure why the censors suddenly fell off their game when he started spewing the f-bombs. They were on it all night, but I guess they didn't figure anyone (except maybe KStew) from Twilight would say fuck that many times. I also loved when he said he wouldn't swear for Stephenie because "she's Mormon." And, as always, "The Precious" was beautiful and awkward. :)

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  45. @LindsayRae - CAN WE TALK ABOUT IT NOW? NOW? PLEASE? PLEEEEEASE??

    @Canadiantwitard - I'm so with you! I give props to the girl for tryin! It's one thing to be cool with being famous, but it's another thing to have people constantly harassing you - a lot of times I imagine how I'd act in the same situation. Honestly? If someone was following me and taking pictures while I was just trying to catch a smoke break, I'd probably just burst into tears like "Please I just want to smooooke and if you take pictures then my mom will bitch at me!" and then the paps would be like 'FOOORKSPIMP CRIES!" and there would be pictures of my blotchy crying face all over the news and THEN I'd cry every time I saw them (I cry sooo easily), and they'd be like "FOOORKSPIMP IS DEPRESSED!" and I'd be like "Shit! But what about that movie I'm in? Can't you talk about that?" And things would be bad all around. I also tend to have verbal diarrhea ever time I'm nervous and people are looking at me to say something, and I start talking about TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE STUFF like how I forgot to put on deodorant this morning and everyone in the conversation takes a collective step back. So in short, I have a soft spot for our twitchy girl :)

    Whew!/rant!

    Also, @LKW - PFach's dirty dirty mouth makes me want to do SO MUCH MORE than make out with him - Sorry, adorable wife and children. :-/

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  46. Alright I'm feeling PO'ed so I'm just gonna come right out and say it. Why the F*ck can I find NO clips of PFach's F-bomb on YouTube! All the MTV clips are 'not available in my area' and I'm deprived. DEPRIVED I tell you! No Robsten! No kiss/not-kiss whatever! How is a twitard supposed to maintain this addiction when the interweb declines me??? Oh well...


    On a different note, we need to discuss Bree. Little tart. I know we're all pissed that SM wrote this *commercial opportunity* novella instead of finishing a certain EPOV that we'd much rather had... but what does everyone think?

    W/V - Pokett. I'd poke it if I had the chance...

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  47. See more MTV movie awards red carpet videos on My Celebrity Cafe.

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  48. ZOMG - Okay, I'll admit it, I am a total effing sucker for the MTV Movie Awards. I lurve them. I lurve them like a fucking h00r loves the cock.

    Some of my favorite non-Twilight moments were Tom Cruise doing the Les Grossman shit, and Marky Mark and Will Ferrell hanging above poor Tom Felton while he gave his acceptance speech - LOVED. Oh, and Sandy B!

    But down to the real Twilighty goodness.

    A) I know KStew catches a lot of shit for all her antics, but for some reason, in the last few months, I've really kind of come to love her. I get that she's awkward and comes off bitchy, but I kind of just want to hug her anyways.

    B) I thought the stuff they did for Best Kiss was adorable, and when Rob finally grabs her at the end... let's just say I had no problems at all putting myself in KStews shoes!

    C) I TOTALLY MOTHERFUCKING SQUEEED during the Eclipse clip! (Say that three times fast)Seriously - I thought KStew was far less twitchy and ROBZOMGCAN'TEVENHANDLETEHHOT! Also? This might be a random thing to note, but I thought Taycob TOTALLY NAILED the line where Bella asks why he hasn't called, and you see his face harden and he goes, "I had nothin to say." For some reason, that totally won me over for Taylor as an actor - that's EXACTLY how I always pictured Jacob when Bella says he gets that look, when he's not "her Jacob," when he reminds her of Sam...

    D) PFACH YOU ARE ONE FUCKAWESOME MOTHAFUCKA!!!!!!! Seriously - this totally made my night. I cannot emphasize how much I fucking loved his acceptance speech, right down to not cursing when it came to Stephenie Meyer - "Cause she's a Mormon!" Oh Pfach, I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you.

    WHEW! Sorry for that, twatwaffles! Had to get it out. And now we know why the Pimp does not have soda after 9 pm anymore.

    vw: cillili. It took me roughly nine tries to type that correctly.

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  49. I watched it this afternoon online, where I could skip over all the ads at least (mostly) which I'm sure cut about an hour out of the program.

    I too Loved TC and the Les Grossman stuff. That shit is just funny, I don't care who you are. And when he told Will Smith "oh, Fresh Prince says your ready" I horked on my coffee. I have no love for TC, but this character is awesome and I'll watch him in anything.

    On to TwiNM stuff: I hate KStew more every time I see or hear her. Right after I found all those pictures of her giving the finger to the press in Australia during a boat ride with Taycob, then she mocks MTV while accepting her award. What did she say at the end, "peace out"? Oh pulleeeeze. She just comes off as such a bitch IMO all the damn time. She's not good enough for him. He deserves someone sweet and she's a total prickly pear. Yuck.

    The Precious on the other hand can do no wrong. He's right up there with Jesus in my book at this point (except I never wanted to do dirty things to Jesus -- ok, maybe I just went too far...). He's so sweet and funny and self effacing. I loved that he thanked his parents for conceiving him too. And what was that shit with trying to fake the kiss? I didn't get that. I wish they'd just kissed. And I didn't see Runaways but the kiss btwn Kstew and Dakota looked pretty hot to me.

    I loved Peter's speech at the end too. He's a class act, no doubt about that. Even while saying "fuck" he manages to remain classy. Is that even possible? But where was Jacksper, did he miss the party? And Kellan?

    I can't wait for Eclipse, that trailer has me drooling. I do hate that they fucked with the school confrontation scene so much. She doesn't go off with Jacob and ditch Edward in the book, wtf is that about? Bella never would have walked away from Edward in the book. Creative licence? Maybe Steph wasn't on set that day. I still think they need a Twitard on set to keep them honest.

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