I saw Eclipse for the third time tonight. I feel like I'm waaaaaay behind the 8-ball compared to everyone else. The shitty part about movies coming out in the summertime is that there's just soooo much stuff going on, it's hard to find time to sneak away to the theater. Fuck, in the winter, what else is there to do?! So yesterday I blurted out to my husband that I was going to the movies with friends. And he asked to see what? And I said Eclipse. And he said but you already saw it twice. And I said what's your point? And the conversation ended.
Hey shorty! Come over here and stand on this box for a minute, 'mkay?
Jeezus fuck I love this movie but I can't hold my tongue any longer. I have to air my dirty laundry and if I don't do it now, I may spontaneously fucking combust. The number one, top of the heap, thing that bothers the shit out of me is vertically challenged Jacob. Now don't get me wrong, I love short people. I'm short. Jenny Jerkface is short. Shorties rock. But Jacob is NOT SUPPOSED TO BE SHORT!!! (And yes, I'm yelling now.)
It's been a long time since I've read Eclipse so it's not totally fresh in my mind (maybe STY can help me out since she just read it) but isn't Jake supposed to be something like 6'8" in this book? [Note from STY: I remember reading this at the time and tsking but I don't recall the exact measurement, lol - I was too busy freaking over Bella's whining!] Isn't he supposed to be a fucking giant? I just picture someone with the stature of Daniel Cudmore - almost menacing looking. And what do we get? Someone that barely even grazes 6 feet.
How hard would it have been to put the little guy up on a milk crate when he's standing next to someone? There's really only so far down Bella can slouch so she's looking at his chest - where she should be looking! Or maybe they should have fashioned a platform (to decrease the risk of falling off the milk crate) so he could be a little more active - like say in the Angry Edward shoving match. THAT'S when it bothered me most... Edward is NOT supposed to be looking down at Jacob! Although in all my Team Edward glory, I sorta liked the fact that Edward almost towered over the pup. Totally makes him look wicked tough.
Oh hello little puppy dog... aren't you little and cute.
Honestly this has bothered me from the beginning. As much as I think Taylor is right for the job, I really think the production crew could have done a better job at least feigning Jacob's height. Maybe they needed to hire someone who would have been listed as "Mr. Lautner's Heightener" - I don't care what you do - lifts? moon boots? blocks of wood strapped to his sneakers? Just something to make him at least appear to be way taller than everyone else.
I often wonder if I'm the only one that feels this way. I rarely hear anyone ever complain about it and yet, it's probably the one aspect of these films that I have the most difficult time with. It even bothers me more than spider-monkey-flying-Edward, and fuck me, I have to look away when that mo-fo is on the screen. And it's not that I don't think Taylor does a good job, because he does. Even though his teeth blind me. Which is probably a good thing so then I won't have to actually see how fucking short he is...