Thursday, July 29, 2010

Oh! Good Morning Mr. Cullen. Going Down?

I feel like we've been pretty remiss with our FanFiction recs lately... you know, with all the excitement of Eclipse and that fucking piece of awesomeness called Osa Bella - that's been keeping us pretty busy! I hope Myg breaks out of her busy schedule soon so she can get back to the important things in life. Most importantly, entertaining us!

Like most of you, I have so many fics on my Must Read list that I'll probably forget who the fuck Edward Cullen even is by the time I get around to reading them. There are just so many fuckawesome stories out there and every once in awhile, someone needs a little direction in navigating the lemony goodness that is the underbelly of Twilight FanFiction.

So tonight I would like to direct the spotlight to a little story still in its infancy but with the potential to be huge... a little story by one of our Twitarded besties... a little story called "Going Down" by TexasKatherine.

Geezus fuck, even the banner that the lovely and talented Amcas made makes me want to make out with this story. And Edward Cullen. Of course. If you haven't started reading this little gem yet, let me give you a little background. TK initially wrote "Going Down" for the Twi-Fic Promotions "Don't Mess With the Help" contest. Well, turns out she fucking won the contest (wahoo!) and decided to continue on with these characters (thank gawd!).

Story Synopsis:
In "Going Down," Bella Swan is a rising start in her new company, but ascending the corporate ladder is not exactly easy when you are trapped in an elevator. Rated M for language, lemons and flagrant use of snark.

Yup, so Bella meets a very hawt Edward Cullen when they get stuck in an elevator together... over night... and well, some shweaty shit happens. Hmmmmm... sounds... intriguing... Bella's smart inner monologue is so fucking hilarious, I find myself snorking beverages out of my nose. Just a mere two chapters into the story, there's so much more to learn about these characters, and I, for one, can't fucking wait!

Here are just a couple of my favorite examples of Bella's sharp wit...
I'm getting extra pissed because my body clearly missed the memo about how we hate him now. I'd like to rip off his cock and throw it out the window, but I think my vagina would swan dive after it.
Or how about...
Alice, my best friend, would do cartwheels in my honor. Alice, the HR Director, would murder me and use my femur as a pimp cane.
If you follow @texaskatherine on Twitter, you know her for her snarky remarks which fully sparkle through this Bella Swan. I often feel as though I can actually hear TK's voice coming out of Bella's mouth, which makes it all the more hysterically funny!

Do yourself a favor... read "Going Down" if you haven't already. I promise that you'll never feel the same way about riding in an elevator. It'll leave you begging for more. But no begging here. Yet. Follow her on Twitter and harass the shit out of her. I need Chapter 3, like stat.

Oh, and tell her she's a whore. She likes that.


  1. TK's writing more "Going Down"??!! Woohoo! I loved that one shot story! Congrats to TK for winning! That story is so hot and so funny.

  2. Definitely a hot read. And best inner monologue I think I've ever read. Waiting on chapter 3, patiently, sort of.... No pressure...

  3. LKW, how can I love & hate you so much at the same time? I was actually trying to beat chapter 3 into submission when I checked Twitter & saw your tweet.

    Just so everyone knows, LKW is the one who virtually held my hand while I pushed the Publish button & almost puked all over my laptop. Thanks, bb.

    I love all you Twitards. No, I haven't been drinking.

  4. My favorite one shot is now a full fledged fic (ok it has 2 chapters) but it's FUCKAWESOME and it's funnier than - with all due respect to HH - MoBS, I shit you not.

  5. congrats on winning tk! can't wait to read more:)

  6. Congratulations on your win TK, that's amazing. That graphic is doing things to me that it shouldn't because my hubby is an elevator guy...builds them, etc. And escalators. But I imagine a fic about getting stuck on an escalator would be kinda can just walk off those. I'm gonna stop now....keep writing!!!!


  7. LKW, thank you from the bottom of my twific reading heart for pimping Going Down!I read it back in June on my birthday and got all sad, because it was just a one-shot! There is just too much potential in the ending of *squee* chapter 1 for it to just end there! That bad boys is now on my alert list!

  8. I wish you guys would do a rec feature each week! I have loved Everything you've ever mentioned. I used to cruise the blogs but stopped b/c all th same stuff was getting recommended.
    2 sories you HAVE to read...Surrendered by Eviekinz and How to Win back the Love of your Existence by Missypooh.

  9. ooooh, there's going to be more Going Down? I thought it was a one-shot. SQUEEEE.

    So like the true selfish twihoor that I am, I say: GIMME MORE!!

    Pretty please!

  10. @TK - There is no way in hell you can hate me... it's just a fact of life you'll have to face. You should be so very proud of the work you've put into this story... It's so good. I just hope I can get you a few more readers... because I love you hard. *mwah* (And seems like lots of folks didn't know you were continuing on with the story!!)

  11. Going Down is awesome, I think I actually begged for more when I found out it was a OS. Just don't read it at work unless you happen to pack extra panties. Its that good!

    Oh and while we are on Fan Fics...JJ I am needing a 15 Steps update also.

  12. I am soooo on it. Like NOW! Thanks for filling us in!

  13. Holy Hot Pants, Batman! That was awesome! I really want to know how their going to reconcile the work situation. Even with Alice as the HR person, things are going to be sticky. heh, heh, I said "sticky."

  14. Shit. Not another FABULOUS fanfic!!! My list might be longer than yours and I'm on my way to forgetting cannon Edward to CRAP! I'm knee deep in a cannon fic myself! How can I get work done and keep the family fed when there is so much LEMONY GOODNESS to read???

  15. Added to the motherfucking list. But I moved it up because I love TK. Fanfic must-read lists are really quicksand...Even when you think you're getting somewhere, you get dragged in again. Especially lemony-smutty action. For chrissake...Writhe, Read, Repeat. Writhe, Read, Repeat.

  16. WAIT! Only 2 Chapters?!!

    Fuck that noise. Imma read NOW.

  17. THAT WAS FUCKAWSOME! YES I AM YELLING! Really, thought it was great. You know...........TK You should really really keep writting and who knows! Great read, great writting. Thank you!

  18. YES!!! I read the one shot- can't wait to read the rest...

    @Texaskatherine - You're a h00r.
    (don't look at me, LKW said to call you that!)

    Happy Friday y'all.

    v/w: rehot

  19. Oh dear Gawd! Why did I not listen to "I find myself snorking beverages out of my nose" as a pretext to my stupidity? I had to stop reading Going Down in order to finish my lunch! Lunch is over... back to the story!!!

  20. @Mrs P--LMFAO! Now I want someone to write a crackfic about 2 dolts getting stuck on an escalator.

    Thanks for all your sweet words. I'll eventually respond to reviews. And finish chapter 3. And start chapter 4. Wait. Which one of you is coming to pack up all my belongings since I'm moving in 2 weeks? Eh, RL can wait. Priorities first.

  21. i fucking love it!

    refreshingly funny and sexy.

  22. Loved it, loved it, loved it. This Bella is great! Can't wait for more.

    Oh, and by the way, @TK....YOU'RE A WHORE....JJ told me to tell you that.

    Of course, I mean that with love.

  23. Hey TK - I love that your Bella is fecking cheerful - love you long time xx

  24. My poor kids... FF is causing a lot more kiddo TV to happen in this house... sigh!

  25. Love this OS and why the hell aren't more chapters on the way? Too busy on Twitter, TK? I follow you, and you're pretty funny and pervy there, too.

    You'd think it's July or something, no updates of 15-step, Osa Bella, All of Me, This Buried Life, etc. etc. Shit. I might actually have to clean my house or cook or something.

    C'mon authors!! Help a Mom out.

    Oh, and TK, you're a whore (are you really OK with that?)

  26. Two friggin' chapters?! That's all?!?!

    This was great! Write more now, please!!!

    Love it, love it, love it!
    Can we all have this Edward? Pretty please?


  27. I read the one-shot prior to this and was soooooo happy that Texaskatherine is going to keep going with it. LOVED this one! Congratulations on the win! I'll be waiting for my alert on chappie 3!

  28. can anyone help me? i'm looking for some good completed fanfic! i can't deal with waiting for updates! suggestions? i wish i could tell you the ones i've read, but there have been so many i can't remember. i will add Going Down to my list once it's completed :)

  29. LKW, a big thanks for recommending this fic! I am already hooked and ready for more going down with Mr. Cullen!

    TK, two words...fucking awesome! The perfect mix of sex and snark! A fuckhawt masterpiece in the making for sure! Keep up the good work!

    P.S. The whole over and out/ten four good buddy thing...yeah I laughed til I peed a little. Fucking brilliant!!!

  30. Dick for Hire is an amazing completed fic! i think i read it in two days!! my laptop almost burnt out on me!!

  31. @fragile little human

    i'm sure i haven't read as many as a lot of these ladies! but here they are:
    wide awake
    the office
    master of the universe
    clipped wings and inked armour
    the lost boys
    tropic of virgo
    the submissive/the dominant/the training
    breaking trinity

    all are excellent.
    most are on but a couple are on

  32. I absolutely love this fanfic!!! I cant wait for another chapter. I also read Edward Wallbanger and its totally awesome and I know you guys here in twitarded would love it. :)

  33. How in the world did you pick just a few lines from this story??? I love to post lines I like as I read stories but part way in I realized with this story I would have to post the entire thing! I LOVE this story and I love TexasKatherine!

  34. @jane is a vamp- *mwah* thanks for the recs. i have read some of those, but there are quite a few new ones on that list. i thank you, my husband thanks you :)

  35. @fragile little human

    you're quite welcome. happy to help :)

  36. @fragile little human, you totally have to check out The University of Edward Masen, its hella long (did I just say "hella"? what is this 1994... any way) and almost done (the author posted there's only one more chapter to go...) It's an awesome story and I would just love to meet Proj. Masen, cause I'd do anything to get an A.


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