Jealous? I thought you would be. When I started reading Twitarded all those many many months ago, I never thought in a gazillion years I'd be sharing a bed with that dirty-mouthed midget. But seriously, don't get your panties in a bundle... it definitely was NOT everything I imagined it would be.
I've generally never the type of person to sleep in the same bed as my girlfriends. When we had sleepovers, guests stayed in the guest room. Maybe it had something to do with only ever having a twin bed growing up, and the only friend I wanted to share that with had a penis.
When planning this epic adventure to Forks, JJ, STY, Myg and I figured why not all pile into one hotel room for our night in Seattle to save some cake. Of course this led to the question of who I'd get to snuggle up to for that one night. Who would I accidentally grope in the middle of the night? And when JJ and I noisily made our way back to the room after closing down the bar downstairs, my question had already been answered. STY and Myg slept soundly in one bed, leaving the other for us vertically challenged.
I've learned to take up as little bed as possible through years of being nearly pushed off the bed by a husband who enjoys sleeping diagonal across the bed. Note to self: next time I sleep with JJ, I need to stake my territory early. Little did I realize that my half of the bed was slowly being invaded... by an army. An ahhhhhmie consisting of exactly one tiny little bed hog.
And imagine my surprise when I woke up to JJ's elbow about two inches from my nose. I was dangerously close to catching that in the eyeball - that would've been a sexy look for Forks! Let me just tell you that all 5'1" of her was sprawled out, hands behind her head, one knee bent... like she was lounging on the fucking beach. And that's not all... that little leprechaun was snoring so loud, I'm pretty sure the hotel got a complaint from three blocks away. Thank gawd STY was able to get audio proof of this because when you tell her she was snoring, she totally denies it like we weren't the ones kept awake by that horrible noise.
One thing you learn before you sleep with JJ - don't wake her up too early (and by too early, I mean anytime before noon.) She's an angry little person, the first word out of her mouth every morning is most always "fuck". And if you don't have a steaming cup of hot coffee waiting for her, you better run for the fucking hills. Because "fuck" is always followed by "where's my fucking cawfee?" Place the cup on the table beside the bed and bolt for higher ground. If you know what's good for you.
What new quirky shit did you learn about your roommates in Forks? Most of us had never met in person, let alone shared sleeping quarters and that's something that takes a whole lotta guts. Were they early risers? Night owls? Crabby assholes in the morning? I'm just glad VitaminR was such a quiet sleeper... a model roommate if you will. I hope I didn't keep her up with my snoring!
Here it is...your moment of Robert Pattinson
2 hours ago