For those of you who follow me on Twitter, you may remember that I mentioned having to take my furry, stinky little companion of 8 1/2 years, Gizmo (aka "Chicken" - long story...), to the vet. Unfortunately, Gizmo's heart gave out and ML and I made the agonizing choice to put him to sleep.
It's amazing how much of a presence such a tiny little creature can have in a home, and both ML and I agree our house seems so much quieter and emptier now that Chicken is no longer here to divest our bags of all our belongings (where it would take us days or weeks later to find them hidden away in a closet or under the couch). We'll miss his giggling and the way he'd pounce on whatever it was you were doing because "pay attention to me gahd-dammit." And we will most definitely miss his adorable little ferret face and his ferret-y little kisses.
But, really, we'll just him most of all.
Gizmo was an awesome ferret from the get-go and it was essentially the reason why I got him from the pet store all those years ago - he just didn't seem to fit in with all the other ferrets. He was big, doofy but so, so sweet and gentle. When I got him home that first day, he shot out of the box like a rocket...directly into the leg of my coffee table and almost knocked himself out. I stood there, appalled that he almost killed himself within 20 minutes of being under my care, but I just knew he was the one companion for me. Because, really, what animal in their right mind would do that?
He was with me through about 5 moves, a break up or two, and even a couple of deaths in the family. He would lick my tears when I cried and then he would steal my cigarettes when I wasn't looking.
I respected that about him.
He was just a good chicken. Snarkier Than You was a tad apprehensive when her and the chicken were first introduced but soon enough, she was even cuddling with him.
Now! On to the funny. I do admit that I'm recycling this post from an old blog from a long time ago, when Gizmo was just a spring Chicken but it explains my sweet old ferret-face to a T.
Junior Is Up To No Good!!!
Ok, well Junior actually goes by the name Gizmo. Or Chicken (long story). Anyway, Gizmo is a ferret. For those that aren't familiar with these cute little critters, ferrets like to hoard stuff. And they steal what they hoard and, quite honestly, make excellent little thieves. Actually, the ferret's Latin name roughly translates into 'Stinky Mouse Killing Thief'. So there is your useless knowledge for the day - do with it what you will.
This is Gizmo:
Gizmo's 'room' is actually the box spring of our queen size bed. We were not happy with this but, as I've said before, ferrets are very resourceful and quite determined to get their way. It was a good, long hard battle but Gizmo persevered - the box spring was his.
Gizmo also really really likes plastic - you crinkle a plastic bag in the kitchen and he comes out of nowhere and will go ape shit to get the bag. So, naturally, Gizmo hoards plastic bags. And anything they contain. I've found books in plastic, shoes in plastic (that I carry to work with me), jewelery in plastic, etc. Every month I go through his hidey hole and clean out the contraband and make sure that he doesn't have anything valuable, important or dangerous in there. After this month's sweep, however, the box spring is going far far away.
This is what we found:
Apparently Gizmo's plastic fetish has reached epic proportions. That big mound in the middle of the bed is comprised of plastic bags of every shape and size from sandwich bags to gigantic Target bags. He must have been pulling them out of the pantry behind my back and hiding them in the box spring.
I honestly could not understand why I was going through pocket tissue packs like crazy. It now appears that someone has figured out how to open my purse. Which I hang up on the doorknob, by the way. How he even gets up there is a mystery.
That, my friends, is a FUCKING PEANUT BUTTER SANDWICH!!!! And it was inside my box spring!!! Gizmo apparently really coveted this gem of a find because I found it inside a plastic bag that was already inside a plastic bag. Oh, and that's also some important looking cable and a maxi pad.
Just for the record, Gizmo has no interest in chewing or eating any of his finds. He just likes to hide them. His box spring days, however, are over.