I love self-love. I can't recall exactly when I discovered that touching myself was pleasurable but it was before I started smoking cigarettes so I was pretty young. And smoking trumped everything for me in the pleasure department--well, until I discovered pot and penis (but not at the same time). Plus, you can smoke anywhere. I'm pretty sure there are laws in effect that prevent you from diddling your nub in public.
The first time I had an orgasm I thought I was dying or broke something -- like my vagina. It was definitely one of the biggest WHAT-THE-FUCK-JUST-HAPPENED?!?!?! moments of my young life. I suppose I should have paid attention in Sex Ed but I was totally traumatized by the "birthing" movie and was basically scarred for life. I guess I just stopped focusing after that fateful day because I seriously don't recall them ever mentioning anything about women having orgasms. Guy, yes. Girls, no.
Eventually, I realized that I didn't break anything and I wasn't going to die. Everything was going to be okay.
In fact, that shit was more than okay. It was fucking amaaaaaaazing. And I spent a lot of my teenage years humping my hand.
Shit, I had a point to this post. Anyhoo, there are various reasons why people masturbate.
Personally, I can only think of two reasons why I masturbate: when I'm horny or when I'm bored as fuck. Procrastibation, if you will.
Usually it's nice to draw the self-lovin' sessions out--you know, imagine you're in Fifty Shade's RROP, or whatever gets your boat going. Sometimes, it's really just about reaching that awesome big O. Quickly. Like, you're bored and there is a band downstairs practicing and you want to get off before they finish the song, just in case they suddenly decide they need to use the upstairs bathroom or something. Everyone has a moment like that. Right? Moving on...
I'm pretty sure this goes out without saying, but I have toys. A few of them. They don't really differ too much; some are loud, some are small, but they are all basically robotic penises that have one job and one job only: to get me off.
Recently, I got a toy through the Eden Fantasys Ambassador Program that I really like because...that fucker is efficient.
It's called the IVibe Pocket Rocket (in pink, though I'm still baffled why vibrators come in colors).
Like they say - it's not size of the wave, it's the motion of the ocean. This is small but it does its job well.
I think this is considered a clitoral stimulator rather than an actual cave-dwelling vibrator. Apparently one of the pros of this thing is that you can stick it in your pocket (thus the "pocket rocket" part of the name) but, like having different colors, this kind of baffles me. Every once in awhile one of my vibrators goes off in the drawer and then it sounds like I stuffed a lawn mower in there. I can't imagine trying to explain to your boss or in-laws why your purse is vibrating across the desk or kitchen floor.
Even worse -- your cat discovering it. Or something close to it. Actually, that shit is just funny...
Incidentally, the last time I used this nifty little O-inducing contraption, someone decided to power up a wood chipper at the same time I switched the iVibe on. Scared the fucking shit out of me, because I was all holy-shit-that's-loud-and-sounds-violent-is-it-coming-from-this-thingy-I'm-about-to-introduce-to-my-cooter???
Anyway. I'm sure you all have your toys and you all have your habits -- so dish. I can't be the only one who spaced out in Sex Ed class and thought I was having a stroke the first time I came. And I know there are a plethora of fun gadgets out there for those of us that are part of the Bearded Clam Clan. Or something as equally as cheesy.
Be a slut. Give it up.