Friday, October 29, 2010

What the #%&*! Month IS It, Anyway?!?

So yesterday, I took my bedraggled, beat-down ass over to the grocery store after work. As I heaved my overflowing cart to the check out lanes, I remembered that I needed to get some Halloween candy. We don't get that many trick-or-treaters, mostly because the guy next door puts on REALLY loud and REALLY scary scream-y sounds [it would be a stretch to call it "music"], lights torches, and gets a smoke machine going, so most of the neighborhood kids steer well clear and avoid our house, too.

I hadn't seen any big displays of candy while I was schlepping my cart around the store, but then I remembered that last year, they had put all of their Halloween candy up at the front of the store, in front of the registers. I recalled this specifically because at the time I remember thinking "Well that was a REALLY shitty idea - I'll bet you sell almost NO Halloween candy because everyone is already eyeballing the cash register and making sure the stoned high-school kid isn't triple-charging them for that already ridiculously overpriced brie they got dazzled into buying at the froufrou Princeton grocery store..." So I figured if I parked my cart for a sec and dashed up to the front of the store, I'd find a cornucopia of chocolatey Halloween delights.

Imagine my surprise - nay, horror! - when instead of a Halloween candy and goblins and tombstones scene kinda like THIS:

Halloween stuff - YAY!!!

I found THIS instead -

Did someone just hit fast-forward on the calendar???

OK so it wasn't REALLY exactly like this, but for all intents and purposes, they might as well have had Santa and his helpers running around asking who's been naughty and who's been nice. There were Christmas trees (plural), candy canes, inflatable lawn decorations - the works!

Do I sound like I have a problem with this??? Good. Because yeah...I do. I rolled my eyes when I got my first Christmas-themed catalog in the mail over a month ago, and did it again when I noticed Christmas merchandise popping up in the stores not long after...dammit I am NOT ready! I might be dating myself here, but fuck it - I remember the Christmas holiday season didn't start until riiiiiight around Black Friday. These days? You don't even get to let Halloween pass before the Christmas stuff starts taking over. Labor Day passes and BAM! Bring on the wreaths and holly. Thanksgiving? Bah humbug!

Here are a few examples of acceptable Halloween-Christmas crossover moments:

Who even knows what's going on under there??? Someone get her a drink, please...

Halloween Tree. If you must and are feeling all Martha-Stewart-y.

Dirty Mrs. Claus & Her Naughty Elfette costumes, anyone?

Don't get me wrong - when the season is really upon us, I'll be first in line to get things going! I love celebrating the holiday season with my family and friends - I'm no Scrooge. Plus I've been a veeeery good girl this year, so who know what I will find under the tree on Christmas morning???

Oh please Santa oh please oh please - I've been SO good...

Until then? Well, might as well brace ourselves for the inevitable -

'Tis the 4th of July almost-Christmas Season!

Merry Easter to all, and to all a good night!


  1. Amen Sister. I was just at Target roaming the sparse Halloween isle searching for some blood...when what do my wandering eyes behold,errr smack dab right into?!?! THE X-MAS SECTION!!!!!!'s October fools.



    xo J

  2. Happy Valentine's Day cause I love the day of love so much.

    Bah humbug.


  3. It seems like christmas comes earlier and earlier every year. Though, to tell you the truth, christmas candy is my favorite, so I don't mind THAT much. I was just at the grocery store tonight in fact and the "specialty" section was all decked out with halloween goodies.. nothing to my liking though. I was actually thinking to myself.. ya know, I don't really like halloween candy. Bring on the christmas candy! Costco has had a growing christmas section since September.. I would know, I already bought some christmas lights. Gotta get on things early because the good stuff will be gone.

  4. I drove by a house the other night and their entire yard was lit up with Christmas lights!

    It's OK though . . . because they had a pumpkin on the porch!

  5. So, there was a commercial on TV last night advertising this weekend having Black Friday specials! Huh??? Someone has made the decision to move Black Friday up a freaking month?!? I guess the ecomony is that bad!

    Oh, and Snarky...If you get that lovely present under your tree this year, you ARE GOING TO SHARE, right!!!

  6. I am totally offended by the Christmas encroachment on Halloween. They literally put both stuff out at the same time these days. Can't you PLEASE wait until Nov.1?

  7. Why is Rob's bottom half missing in that box o' Rob? I am extremely disturbed by this...perhaps moreso than Christmas in October.

    More on topic....I, too, am pissed that they push this I mean Christmas (which is in fact my favorite holiday) earlier and earlier every year. Time is going to fast as it is. Why? Rhetorical question. But really? Before Halloween? We will have rules against this in Twitardia.

  8. I, too, am baffled by the x-mas push. Costco started stocking shit like 2 months ago and I was in Wal-mart at 7:15 am today(don't ask why cuz it was the beginning of a very very very long day!) and the poor employees were busy filling an entire section of the store with ornaments and other christmas "essentials". I haven't even bought halloween candy yet, for christ sakes. They expect me to be ready for christmas...WTF!!!

    I would however like to find Rob-in-a-box under my bed, I mean Tree, this year.

  9. My darling hubs just asked me "What are we doing tomorrow then?" I told him I'm putting a sign on our front door saying "No trick or treaters please" cuz, frankly, my dog goes into a frenzy every time someone knocks >:-/

    I was met with a very withering stare.

    Call me what you like, but if I see one more bag of chewy body parts, plastic pumpkin lanterns or fake cobwebs I won't be responsible for my actions.

    Don't even get me started on Christmas decorations....... ;-)

    CC x

  10. This year when going out for stuff for Thanksgiving (middle of October for us Canucks) I spotted Christmas stuff. WTF!?!?

    Mr.CC used to work retail and they started playing Christmas music in the November. Made him homicidal.

    I really really hate this aspect of Christmas.

    @VitR Agreed - Twitardia will have a rule about this. No Christmas until December 1st sound good?

  11. I think when we were younger we were always caught up in the magic of xmas. the lights and decorations, the gifts and giving... but as adults, xmas is just so commercialized. it's all about buy this and buy that. there's no magic. it's all stress, check-out lines and credit card bills.

    I miss being a kid. OK, maybe not, but I miss being young enough that I didn't realize how much responsiblilty comes with the "freedeom" of growing up.

  12. oh yeah, and you are totes right STY, they bring out the xmas stuff waaaaaaaay too early these days.

  13. Why has every store turned into a year round Christmas store? It makes me crazy. I refuse to buy Christmas decorations early. It seems like I'm one of the few holdouts as the shelves are half bare by Dec 1. I almost had an anuerism the other day when the Hobby Lobby had 1/4 of a row of Halloween decorations, but at least 19 rows of Christmas decor.

  14. I feel your pain. The Frontgate store at one of our malls put up their Christmas lights on their exterior balcony in August!!!! I seriously wanted to set fire to the display....I live in was 100 mutha frigin' degrees down here in August.

    Also is it just me or does fall feel a little weird this year without the anticipation of a Twilight film???? (Not that I am not totally stoked for Harry Potter!!!! YAY)

    The last two years Thanksgiving has truly been a gluttons holiday for tons of food and then take my fat arse over to see my preh-tay?

  15. I get stabby when I see the first signs of Christmas decorations in September. I was pissed when I went looking for a witch's hat at Target yesterday and the Halloween section had been taken over by xmas lights, ornaments, etc. ugh. I REFUSE to put up any Christmas decorations until after Thanksgiving. Although, I do have to admit that I bought eggnog last week... slightly hypocritical of me but it tastes so damn good in my morning coffee that I couldn't help myself!!!

  16. I totally agree with you Snarkier! A new Walmart just opened in one of our suburbs and surprisingly when I went in to find Halloween Candy - they did not have the christmas stuff up yet. I was discussing with a friend how some of the radio stations will be starting their "Holiday" music soon. I'll be tuning in to see if they start on Monday. Crazy I tell Ya! Crazy but it has happened! Nov 1st!

  17. I will be the lone early-Christmas-lover here; I'm not ashamed! I am already literally fighting with myself not to start the Christmas music yet (FWIW, I haven't, but it's a close fight). I don't put up my decorations until after Thanksgiving, but I salivate for a month thinking about it. I get sooo much joy out of the whole thing, I can't help it.

    However - I don't actually buy any Christmas decorations until the week after Christmas (when they're 50% off - using the noggin, yall), so I am not the consumer driving this Christmas-decor-in-October thing.

    Can I blame/credit @Casch for this? She taught me to love Christmas... and to only choose interior paint colors that coordinate with Christmas decor. Love you Mom! :)

  18. I am so anti-early Christmas. For starters, I am a procrastinator for life. "What? 25 page term paper due? On Monday? It's Friday? Guess I better get to the library." Yeah. Like that.

    I don't carve pumpkins/buy candy/pick a costume until ... Yesterday. So I am ALL SORTS OF PISSED that according to the great cash register in the sky, the Holiday Season starts on October 15. According to retail America, I am supposed to dress up as Santa for Halloween. It's the only fucking costume out now. This is ridiculous. I know the economy is down, but does that mean I need a tree skirt and the new Dickens Village figure right the fuck now? Maybe you could just add a Black Friday to the day after Halloween. I'm all for saving $$, and it's not like you don't have the shit out on the shelves already.

    I'm just not in the mood for Martha Stewart to show me how to coordinate pale blue and silver ornaments on a white fake tree while Bing Crosby assults my aural faculties. N'thanks, not yet.

  19. Love you honey (My After Car is an XKR), wish we could go nutzo decorating together! It would be twice as much fun and we could validate each other buying secret Twilight Christmas stuff!!!

  20. When we were on vacation in August - yes August - we went to a local discount store and there was a fully kitted out Santa's Grotto complete with reindeer and elves. As far as I am concerned, Christmas starts on 24th December at 4pm.

  21. So right before FOOOORKS *sniffle* I was talking to Demanda (@amandakmelby) and told her "I feel like so many things are happening in October! Forks, Our HS reunion, your birthday, your bf's birthday, halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years.........." and what I MEANT to say was "I feel like so many things are happening starting in October." But that's not how it came out. I'm wondering if someone overheard me and thought "Shit! Christmas is in October?!?! We better get those decorations out ASAP!" I'd like to think I'm to blame...and hopefully it won't happen next year. :)

  22. I agree that christmas seems to come earlier and earlier, and I hate it! Don't get me wrong Christmas is one of my top three favorite Holidays, but It's in December, not September. My husband and I went Halloween shopping at the end of September and we were headed back to the Halloween section in Target and all of a sudden I heard Christmas Music...I covered my ears and yelled "I'm not ready yet!" and ran to the Halloween section where surprisingly I couldn't hear it anymore. Then I realize I had just done that in the middle of a store packed full of people. Not my most mature moment. I've always believe that you can put Halloween stuff out towards the end of September, Thanksgiving stuff out Nov 1st (some things that are just "FALL" things all in between), and then Christmas on Black Friday (we usually put our tree up the fallowing Sunday.) In Fact I barely saw any Halloween Decorations and the majority of them sucked. I think the only new thing we bought this year were our costumes and a scary door bell.

  23. I remember too when th Christmas decorations in town went up the day after Thanksgiving. We drove around and looked at Christmas lights on people's houses and got excited even over a string of lights on a house (hey - we were kids!). It wasn't called Black Thursday then.

    Stores suck and they have crappy Hallowe'en candy now too!

  24. still looking for my vampOctober 30, 2010 at 9:34 PM

    Christmas stuff before Black Friday is just fucking WRONG. Blasphemy, I say.

    I try to ignore it the best I can, but I have come close to kicking down a Christmas tree or two while making my way through Tar-jay.

    I have also been a very, very good girl Sty :) What I wouldn't do for that package under my tree ;)

  25. Christmas in Oct? Halloween in August? When the fuck did they make that candy, anyway?

    One of my friends who works in a candy store (the really good, expensive stuff) told me they melt dwn the unsold stuff and remold it for the next holiday. Whatever has been sitting around for months gets recycled into the next holiday. Appetizing, isn't it?

    As a church musician, I am working on music weeks in advance.My cantors REFUSE to practice Christmas music before Halloween. Fine with me.

    Great post, as always!

  26. HERE! HERE! I agree completely! I love Christmas but it shouldn't start until after Turkey Day! Because I honestly love T-day just as much!! MMMMmmmmm!!! Food! GOBBLE GOBBLE! I look forward to these two holidays all year and I like to celebrate them each seperatley.


Comments are our life now. Leave one!