Monday, January 3, 2011

This Is Your Brain on Twilight.

Do you remember the feeling you had after you finished Breaking Dawn? No, not the "wanting to karate chop Stephenie Meyer in the throat for the last half of that book" feeling. I'm talking about the feeling of "what now?" For weeks I wondered if my life would ever be normal again. I wondered if I would be able to stop thinking about Edward and Bella and hot sparkly vamp sex that may or may not have happened in the book. I wondered if I closed my eyes tight enough, if I could actually visualize exactly how the headboard was destroyed.

What the mother fuck where you thinking SM? Really? This picture gives me the shivers.

What did I actually do with my life before Twilight? If I remember correctly, and it's admittedly a bit hazy, I actually did stuff. I cleaned my house, did laundry, crafted occasionally, shopped - you know, normal female-y type stuff. But it's been two years since I read those damn books and my memory ain't what it used to be.

About a year and a half ago, while perusing the internet, I came across this diagram. I think it probably describes most of us to a T. Or at least it used to. For me, it was a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.

Clearly created by a bitter man, but still funny...

And then I started blogging and reading fanfic and then I found Twitter and well, the rest is history I guess. Pretty much everything I knew in my former life, my "before Twilight" life, then became a big, pain-in-the-ass chore. Like when will I ever find time to do the laundry? I'm looking for hot pictures of RPattz online. I'm reading porn. I'm surviving on Cheerios and coffee. Leave me the fuck alone!

Nom, nom, nom... I don't need no stinking food when I have this eye candy to sustain me.

One evening, way back when I was actually a "latchkey wife" and the hubs was working nights, I decided to do a little editing to the Female Brain and what has happened to it since Twilight. This was July, 2009. I figured it would never last long. Maybe a few more months of this obsession and I'd forget Edward and Bella ever existed. My own personal New Moon breakup. I'd cry myself to sleep for a few weeks, but I would eventually get over it and go on with my former non-Twilighty life.

Fat fucking chance. I pulled out my Twilight Brain the other day to see if it still held true. Yup, it does. And I'm ok with that. More than OK because my brain on Twilight has some pretty excellent company.

Clearly created by a sex-crazed, porn-addicted, RPattz-loving Twilight fan.

I want to know your Twilight time table. How long has it been from the time you finished the books until now? Does your brain on Twilight look anything like mine? Would you do it all over again if you could, or are you wishing for a Twilightectomy?

65 comments:

  1. Depends on the day.
    Sometimes I am downright ashamed at my lack of productivity. Other times I just want to watch n read n surf and feel them good Twilighty feelings. Or have a good ol fashioned Rub Pattinsomething, IYKWIM.
    That period during the Britpackroadtrip was the nadir of my A.T. (after twilight) I was hooked on Twitter like a shaky junkie. It was shameful & I'm surprised no one ripped that iPhone out of my hand & made me do actual work.
    But who am I kidding...I effing love this drug & all my junkie friends. No, I would do it all again.
    Shit, I wish I could!

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  2. Oh my fucking hell. I need to get a full size poster of that Twi-brain. It's pathetically accurate. The only difference I can see is that "Interest in books not about vampires." I'm afraid to read any new vampy books...I just couldn't handle the disappointment. Oh, and tolerance for ppl who don't like Twi...Mine's a bit bigger, but not by much.

    It's been about 2+ years since I spent a weekend in the same clothes and creating a permanent dent in our old loveseat. I don't think I regret it. For fuck's sake, I never would have met YOU. How can that be a mistake?!

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  3. I wouldn't trade any of this for anything. I remember my life pre-Twilight and post-Twilight is soooooo much better. I don't remember when I last read the books but they are a part of me at this point so they are there whenever I need them. And now I have Fan Fiction to fill the gaps and keep me happy. This is where I am supposed to be and I don't want to be anywhere else... well except maybe FFOORRKKSS 2011!!!!

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  4. I read the books between last Thanksgiving and Christmas...5 times. So my Twi-life has been a little over a year old. I felt I needed to get off my Twilight train and started reading anything I could get my hands on. I started with the classics that Bella read in Twilight saga and moved on from there. Took my daughter to see New Moon after I read book. By March I was a full fledge TwiHard. Took my daughter to see Tinsel Korey and Kiowa Gordon at the NM release. Found Twitter right around then.Found MoTU read that too many times to count then I found FanFiction.net. I've found great music, movies and friends. I agree with that Twibrain and I wouldn't change a thing.

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  5. I read all four books in a row in the summer of '09. I remember exactly how I felt. I felt high on life. It was late, but not too late. I was just finishing the last page when the hubs walked in the bedroom. He said "so how did it end?" and I said "happily ever after" and I threw the book against the wall and jumped him.

    Oh yeah, I'm one of the one's who doesn't mind Breaking Dawn... in fact I might actually like it. Everyone gets everything [yay!]

    As for the obsession... I was actually a few months out of a major surgery, was unemployed and had a good excuse to do practically nothing. I already had a cyber crush on Adam Lambert so this just added to my do-nothingness. I even found a friend who lives near me that shares my Adam obsession and tolerates the Twilight stuff enough to go with me to midnight screenings!

    I'm lucky I found a part time at-home job so I can still try to be "normal" but easily sneak in my obsessions. I'm not sure what I would do if I actually had to find work outside of the home [shudder]...

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  6. Yep, it's official. I have a Twi-brain. It's been 2 years, and 2 months (not that I'm counting) when I first became enthralled (aka obsessed) with all things Twilight - thanks to my daughters. My oldest worked at Borders and bought the series when Breaking Dawn came out. My youngest daughter requested the Twilight video when it was released. It's all their fucking fault! The house is in a total disarray. I used to be on top of all that crap! Now I'm too busy reading fanfic and blogs when I'm not working.

    On the upside, my sex life has never been better!!

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  7. I don't care that I'm a Twitard..My brain is the better for it..It actually helps me live a happier life..I have read the books at least 6 times some more.I just love the books.I am in Love with all ya'll and Tumblr and all the RobPorn I can get my hands on. I'm letting my Robflag fly around my house and there starting to get use to it.I now have some time to dedicate to a certain lair that needs to be spruced up with everything Twilight. So that's where I stand..Twi brain is good.

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  8. I was told about the books in 2008 when I moved to a new area and a new to me volunteer (I work for a NP)suggested I read the books as she was obsessed. I put it off, I have no idea why but I did. Then I FINALLY broke down when I was 28 weeks prego and read the first book while getting a Gestational Diabetes test. I remember feeling like my son was a vampire sucking the life from me.
    After that I don't think I slept the remainder of my pregnancy or maternity leave. I read and re-read the books and then read some more. Last January I was introduced to FF, thanks to twitarded, and my god I have literally gotten nothing done in a year. I love it, my RL is kind of in the crapper and it is an escape for me.

    I wouldn't change any of it, except maybe read it a little earlier in the game!

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  9. I fell hard for twilight less than a year ago, found twitarded shortly there after, which prompted me following you all to Fffffooooorrrrkkkksssss, where I discovered the wonderful world of Twitter after @STY tweeted about me being on my knees in her motel room, since then my journey down the rabbit hole has been nothing but amazing. I have found a wonderful community of like-minded (yup, the twilight mind) amazing women without whom my life would be void of pervy humor and awesome friendship. So, you ask if I would go back to pre-twilight me...my answer is hell-to-the-fuck-no!!! I fluv you all and wouldn't trade you for anything.

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  10. I've been a twiaddict for about three years now with no sign of recovery (not that I seek it, I'm happily obsessed). My human memories have faded so I really don't know what I did before twilight. I do remember how it started though. My daughter wanted to read it because all her friends said it was good. I thought a book about vampires was gross but I was bored one evening a decided to read a little of it. I could not put it down. I went to the store to pick up New Moon as soon as I finished it and was transformed. I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with Edward Cullen.
    I must have re-read those books a dozen times each. It got to the point that I could find any quote in a matter of minutes. I was not physically able to go one day without reading, it was like my own brand of heroin. I was a snob about fan fiction at first, I mean how could anything
    compare to the original? Then some hoor told me to read
    "the honeymoon, edward's POV" which very nicely filled in
    the fade to black cock block in BD. That changed everything. Now I can't get enough of the fics and am amazed at all the talented, creative, hilarious women out there who share the addiction.

    My brain on Twilight Is exactly like your illustration. My husband is worn out. I cannot read anything that isn't about Edward & bella. I am full fledged twitarded.

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  11. No looking back. Swap Rob with Alex Meraz and you have me in a nutshell. I have met such great people, laughed longer and harder and said peen a lot more than I should. I wear an autographed Imprint Me T-shirt under my sweaters and smirk at having the wolfpack's hands across my lady lumps. Next month will be two years since I found out I wasn't dead. Twilight pulled me out the deathly rut. As for work productivity, I am amazed at what I accomplished so as to make time for my Twi-Life. It was like UGH get that shit out of here, don't you know I have a pack to attend to? For awhile my human memories weren't so much fuzzy as they weren't worth being bothered about when I needed to hunt down GQ.

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  12. Not a Creative Screen NameJanuary 3, 2011 at 10:55 PM

    I just skimmed through the other comments so maybe I missed it, but...is no one else as creeped the fuck out as I am by that fucking creepshow of a picture of a pregnant Bella?? Dear lord, that is NOT okay. I'm still getting shivers and I laughed while watching Children of the Corn (it seriously takes a lot for me to hit my limit of creepiness). I was not okay watching my baby move around inside me when I was pregnant (it's just fucking weird, people!) and I'm certainly not fucking okay looking at that! I'm going to go hide under a blanket until the shivers die down. Is it wrong that I'm harboring the hope that the Breaking Dawn movie surprises us all by killing off Bella immediately after we get to see some freaky-deaky sexing and before she even announces that she's pregnant? (fingers crossed)

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  13. Yes! That's an x-ray of my head!

    I've read the books 10 times. And I have to read them in order, including what there is of Midnight Sun. The last time was in preparation for Eclipse, so it's been a while. I'll never read everything on my FFn to-be-read list, but I might go blind trying!

    I've mentioned before that I'm in the process of a divorce. My son said my husband told him he thought I might be having an affair!

    TheRugbyboy said "Yeah! With Robert Pattinson!"

    My husband said "Who's that?'

    Son said "Duh, Edward Cullen, dad!"

    Dad just gave him a blank stare.

    Cluuuue-leeeeesss! (And he isn't even blond!) So . . . any wonder why the divorce? The man lives on lazy-boy island, completely oblivious to what's going on around him! I couldn't even tempt him with all the tricks I learned from FFn! Time for him to go . . . so I can have quality time with stuff from the GBOD!

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  14. I bought BD at 12:01 am release night, however long ago that was.

    Am I happier being Twi-obsessed? Sure! It really helped that the last few years I had a job that pretty much allowed me to surf the internet half the day.
    Healthier? Probably not. Although I blame that more on FF than Twilight. Hours of chair-bound delight.

    I do blame my inability to focus for very long on anything not related to Twilight on Twitardia. You guys have ruined me for real life. But since I don't have much of a life, it's not that big a loss. (Except for my writing, but as soon as I get the WIP done, I can write thinly disguised TWI influenced stories.)

    So other than the nagging of my daughter (She stuffed FSE in my bedroom but he's coming back out!) and the occasional teasing at work (where I have ZERO Twi related accoutrements) I'm doing pretty good.

    And in all seriousness, it is the awesomeness of all of you that makes this so much fun. You understand and do not judge,laugh,or roll your eyes. That is priceless.

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  15. That Twilight brain is pure WIN! You nailed it. I finished the books right before the first movie came out and my life has not been the same. When I think about all the things I'm neglecting I start to feel guilty, then I realize I don't care! Life has been way more exciting . . . sadly.

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  16. I read all of the books in about 5 days in 2008 - right before the first movie came out.

    I spent almost all of my holiday weekend reading inappropriate fan fiction. I also actually tried to explain the plot of a fic to a friend last week and she was looking at me like "holy shit, you are so far gone." I have a non-Twilight blog and I could have written 85 posts for said blog while I was busy reading about Domward.

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  17. still looking for my vampJanuary 3, 2011 at 11:48 PM

    Yep. That is my brain - and I remember reading through your old posts and finding "the map." I thought, "Holy sparkly balls. This woman fucking GETS me!"

    Except I would expand the "Dirty Things I Want to Do to Robward." I have my RPatz 2011 calendar up, and January makes my seat slick. And I would probably make the "Domestic Skills" even smaller. Hell, let's just wipe them off the map.

    Anyhoo, just over a year for me since I willingly jumped down the rabbit hole. I wouldn't change a fucking thing.

    You girls, Twilight, and that guy with the sparkly peen have changed my life. I feel younger, (41 going on 14 anyone??), and I have realized that maturity is so overrated. I feel like for the first time in over ten years I am actually enjoying my life. And that is sad. Or happy. I am going with the glass half full shit on that one.

    So bring on the twisted story that is BD. It is all good in my book.

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  18. It's been about two years. Technically, Thanksgiving weekend is my Twi-anniversary, and last year about that time is when I found y'all ad stopped feeling like a freak with three heads. And that brain picture looks about right. :)

    That picture is five kinds of fucked up, btw. The little hands on her belly? Blargh!

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  19. This is my brain to a T. Quite frankly, I feel like an alcoholic, or any addict. I really do need an intervention. I actually have started missing appointments. I think there's a problem. I wonder if I would get free rehab if I get on the show "Intervention"?

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  20. My brain used to look like that but my Twiobsession is waning :-( I used to read so much fanfiction I couldn't keep my Edwards straight and I checked multiple websites all the time. Hell I bought Eclipse the day it came out but I haven't even watched it yet...not even the special features!!!!!! The only thing that I cling to is Twitarded! I love you gals so much!!!!!!!!! (and Going Down and 15 Step when they are updated) I religiously read your posts every night before I go to sleep and I never want to lose that part my my Twibrain.

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  21. hrm I was very frustrated for a few months after reading the books trying to get my hands on anything twilight-y i could incl midnight sun and fan fic etc... now its in the back of my mind :( also haven't purchased eclipse yet although I saw it twice in theatre but oh well maybe SM will release something new for me to obsess over for a while. on another note, hubby came home from work the other day and said "we had a volvo xc90 come in today and we didn't have the tools to do a freakin oil change...so I asked the guys where the hell Edward gets his oil changed...and no one understood, they're all obviously single" and we both laughed :) <3

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  22. I was caught up with Twilight and New Moon eagerly waiting for Eclipse and Breaking Dawn to come out so it's been a looooong journey. I bought BD the night it came out, finished it a few days later and thought WTF?!?!

    I literally have no motivation in life to do anything unrelated to twilight or blogs anymore. I went to the gym tonight and was so bored because I wasn't tweeting or checking out new Rob/Jackson/everyone else involved in twilight pics and blogs. That's some sad shit.

    My mind constantly goes back to all things Twilight. I even had a co-worker make fun of me for my "Be Safe." sticker at work today and then when I left, he said "Stay Safe!" to which I replied with a bitchy attitude of someone who had just been slapped "It's BE safe!". Things like that would never offend me if it came down to any other books and movies. Damn you Twilight, you hurt so good!

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  23. I read the books in July 2009. Then I read them again, then I audiobook-ed them. I remember wondering what to do next, and checking out various twilight websites, but never any blogs. I remember deciding 'enough was enough' and deleting all the links to sites, trying to wean myself. I had Twilight on DVD, but I thought, oh yeah, I'll see the other movies, and that'll be it. Hmmm, I don't think so.

    I've said it before and I'll say it again. I wouldn't change my twilife for the world. I love my twitterati, we twi-h00rs must stick together! Can't wait to meet a bunch of you in a few months time.

    xxx

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  24. After 2yrs and many twi purchases. I am still very enthralled with the story. I agree with needing the Twi-Brain poster! that would be amazing, I love talking with whomever I can convert to the Twi-ways.

    After finally finding fanfiction all i can say is I am so happy for my new kindle! I can take my obsession everywhere with me! :)

    hmmmm my verification has sub in it...........Did I mention Im reading Motu for the 2nd time?

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  25. You see...I'm pretty much a lurker. I never miss this blog. I've only posted once. BUT...My kids were orphans for about a week back in December 2009. I started reading because a friend told me I HAD TO READ TWILIGHT! Okay. I'd made fun of her too long so I thought, what the hell? I read ALL of the books between Christmas and New Year's. My kids didn't bathe, didn't have any meals. I stayed up until 4 and 5am reading because I.couldn't. stop. Whey I was done, I read Midnight Sun. I have a terrible obsession. T.O.D- Twilight Obsession Disorder. I WILL NOT read fanfic. It's cheating. Er, well I feel like it is. I don't want to know any other Edward/Bella story than "the one." My friends all know of my addiction. However, my hubs is SO FREAKING JEALOUS I have to keep it on the down-low or he blow's a fucking gasket. Ahhh, to be jealous of a fictional character...now who's the sane one?

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  26. I love you all! I've said it before and I'll say it again... for me, this community has become less about Twilight - the books and movies, and more about the incredible and life long friendships I've made because of them. Fucking awesome, I say!

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  27. First time poster! I love Twitarded and I just had to respond to your right-on post today. The Twi Brain is SO accurate! My 1 year Twi-versary was at Thanksgiving and my bedtime ritual is read a bit, then fall asleep to either a Twi movie, Rob's sweet voice singing to me, or listening to Iliana Kadushin (?sp) read me the Saga on my ipod. Fanfic owns me daily and has taken over my evenings and an hour or two of my workday. I don't know what I did before Twilight, Rob, and fanfic, but I know I don't want to go back. Hubby has finally come to accept that I adore Rob and NEED to read my updates, so things are looking up! Thanks for making me laugh, smile, and feel normal for a little while each day! Love, twinboys05

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  28. OMG! I feel the exact same way! My obsession started after Twilight left the theater. I was so sick of hearing about this movie. I didn’t want anything to do with it at all. AT ALL! Then one day I was like you know, I need to check this out. I could be missing something. So I got the movie from Netflix. Watched it and got the books from my aunt the very next day. A week later I was done with the books and was like WTF do I do now? Well, of course, you read the damn books again cause you read them so fast the 1st time you coulda missed something. Then I was seriously like WTF now? I need more Edward and Bella! MORE DAMNIT! So I got on IMDB, the New Moon board and learned all about this crazy fandom. I started reading fanfic and made friends who I talk to on twitter, on a daily basis. My husband is still waiting for this "obsession" to go away. I don’t think it ever will. I think this series has changed my life. Is that sad to say? At least I'm not alone though. It seems that you all feel the same way. I was nodding my head the whole time I was reading this article. And that brain diagram that you made, SPOT ON my friend SPOT ON! I have learned about my inner perv thanks to fanfic!

    I wouldn’t change a cotton-picking-fcking thing except, I think my husband needs to take a hike. Does it seem to anyone else that this fandom has brought about marital problems? Maybe that could be the next topic for this blog. I would love to see how marriage statistics have changed since Twilight came out.

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  29. @ Dixielou143 - I think the fandom has been both good and bad for marriages depending on the marriage in the first place. In some cases I think it has strengthened marriages (esp. with Fan Fiction) and in some cases I think it has been an issue BUT I would think that there might have already been issues prior to the fandom and this just brings them out to the surface.

    In my marriage, the fandom definitely helped me look at my own marriage and determine there were definite problems. I was not being true to myself and that was hindering us. We went through some pretty yucky crap but now we are on the other side and working on things. I do not think we would be where we are now without the fandom and Twilight. I think I would still be wimpy and quiet and letting things go whereas now I feel empowered and able to speak my mind because you women have given me strength and power and good examples of good marriages.

    It still would be interesting to study the actual effects of the fandom/Twilight on marriage/relationships. Hmmmm sounds like school work for a Psychology class :)

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  30. It has been two years and two months since I first opened Twilight, and a year and ten months since I found Twitarded - and it has been the ride of a lifetime. Frankly, I'm terrified of what will happen after BD2 comes out - terrified that this whole thing will start to fall by the wayside, and THEN WHAT???

    Would I trade the past two years for anything? No freaking way. I'm way happier, marriage is better, I've learned to let the little things (like, y'know, house cleaning) go, and I have something to look forward to every day (that would be you guys... oh, and new pics too).

    If it were up to me, this would never end. At the very least, I think a reunion once a year is a must. FOOOOOOOORKS2011!

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  31. Firstly, thanks for the smoking hawt pic of Rob.

    Unnffff, ok, back to the story.

    I first read Twilight in September of 2008. I had never heard of the series before. It was one of our picks for book club. And the rest, we say, is history. We proceeded to read New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn the following months.
    However, out of all the members in book club, I am the only obsessed (or Robsessed) one. Sure, they all liked it, and quite a few us went crazy waiting for the first movie to come out. But they've all moved on. And I'm ok with that. Because I found this place. (And fanfiction.) Even though I've never met any of you, I feel a kinship to everyone here. If the day comes when I move on from Twilight (pfft), I will never move on from Rob... or from Twitarded. You're like my own personal brand of heroin.

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  32. I started reading Twilight (just by chance) in Sept. 2008 because I picked it up in an airport for reading material on our way to Italy. I finished reading the last book on our third week of vacation in Ireland (it was really hard to find the books). Once I got home from vacation I started spreading the gospel of Twilight to everyone I knew. HAHA!

    Those books were the only thing I read for a couple (maybe a few) months. Eventually I found you guys through another friend that was reading Twilight. She emailed me "Have you seen this? Check it out."

    I do believe the last time I read through all these books was this last September. I read all of them & then I read The Host again. (LOVE IT) So my Twilight obsession is still alive, but probably not quite as...Enthusiastic as when it first started.

    What I love the most about the series though is that Stephenie Meyer got me to read & really enjoy books again. She may not be the greatest author but she sucked me in and because of that I am now a reading JUNKIE. I have also discovered so many other GREAT vampire romance books (much smuttier). lol. I love the Black Dagger Brotherhood books.

    But anyhow, this is my timeline of Twilight and how it's affected my life. And of course I read THIS blog everyday, and you girls always get me pumped up more about it all. :-) Love you ladies! MWUAH!!!

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  33. I'm w/ @Lindsay Rae - we need full posters of that image! I will even buy ine for Jenny Jerkface's new lair. : )

    sometimes i forget how i felt when i first got sucked into the world of twilight... and i don't remember exactly what life was like back then (only that i think my house was cleaner). but i wouldn't have it any other way...

    vw = "suctedl" - a world without twilight, sparkly vampires, and all you guys would really suctedl.

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  34. Oh LKW. I can't believe its going to be 2 years for me in May as well! I was actually just trying to think of what the hell I wasted my time doing before I found Twilight which then turned into an all encompassing need for Robert Pattinson.

    Seriously! What did I do? Was I actually successful at work? I have no idea. Its like a black hole of Rob & fanfic.

    Either way I always check in with Twitarded :) love you ladies!

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  35. Okay, I'm not lying when I say I have a twi-brain but it's mainly a Rob-brain at this point. I think I love Rob more than Twilight. *gasp*

    Either way, Twilight will ALWAYS be a part of me.

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  36. I feel like i'm suffering badly with the Twilight Brain, I'm okay generally then something like oh say RPattz and KStew come to my county, and Im not in the same pub as them - fuuuucck!! And then mushy brain becomes me. A mixture of anger, resentment, jealousy and then I remember how double-fucking sexy he is and its all forgotton and so is everything else.

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  37. I first read the books (the first time) in July 2009. I'm not nearly as obsessed as I was pre-New Moon movie, but I still think about it in some way every day, either listen to, or read a snippet from one of the books every day & check this & other blogs every day. I have had the time of my life & wouldn't change it for anything. I DID think I would be sad when my obsession started to wane, but it has been ok. I am now able to say, 'someday I will look back at this obsession & realize how silly it was...GOOD thing I didn't get a tattoo'. :)

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  38. The said this once on Twigasm (you came for the 'twi' but stayed for the 'gasm')& I think it fits with you all to....we came for the 'Twi', but stayed for the 'tarded'.
    Love you ladies!

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  39. @dixielou143 - I'm with @dangrdafne, I also think that this obsession brings out the good/bad in our relationships. I know for me, that it brought to light a lot of issues that otherwise would have been ignored. I have also found strength in this fandom and am no longer willing to lay down and take it. I am standing up for what I want and need, before this fandom and the wonderfulness that is Twitardia, I would not have done that. Hubs and I are still working on our shit. Hopefully, we will come out on the other side a stronger and happier couple. But if we don't I know I will have all of these wonderful h00rs to help me through it.

    P.S. I heard that twitter is a leading cause for divorce these days.

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  40. It's been a little over 2 years since I made the leap. I used to read regularly, but shit still got done as needed. Then I was introduced to Twilight and shit stopped getting done. I also thought it was a phase and once I got all the books out of the way I could move on...never happened. I read the books and then figured I would be ok waiting for the movies, but I'm not. I read fanfic like my life depends on that shit,and I'm always on blogs and whatever else I can get my hands on. My house used to get cleaned every single fucking day and now it's like 3x a week and that's on a lucky week. I'll tell myself that it's only for a little while than I'll do my shit for the day, but by the time I look away from the computer, its like 4 a.m. WTF....how the fuck does that happen?? Do I regret it?? HELL NO....I love Twilight and the feelings I get from all the fanfic, pics, blogs, and everything. I feel like I have something in my life for me..you know? And god knows I could use that shit!!

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  41. It's funny, because I feel like Twilight has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember... I don't even remember what it was like before Twilight! But honestly, I only read the books for the first time in July 2009! That's only like 1.5 years ago! I watched the movie for the first time immediately after finishing the first book -- also in July 2009. It's crazy.

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  42. Wow...looks like I'm relatively new to the addiction we all seem to share. I first read the books this past May (2010). I'm a huge True Blood fan & thought sparkly vamps were ridiculous!!!

    I was studying for my nursing state boards & the day before I finally picked up Twilight & read it (my sister was basically shoving it down my throat)...needless to say I panicked when it was over since I didn't have the rest of the books!! I got them & read all 4 books in 4 days....I didn't eat or sleep. I watched Twilight, New Moon, & luckily Eclipse was just coming out so it was awesome not having to wait long to see the movies..........don't know how you guys do it - don't know how I'm gonna survive waiting for BD!!! I also don't know how I passed my nursing exam..but I did :)

    I soon discovered FFN & my life has definitely not been the same!! My sis & I are absolutely addicted to Robward/FFN/Twilight & it's awesome having someone to share this crazy obsession with!

    I wouldn't change a thing but as someone mentioned earlier on here...I do feel bad for not being as productive on my days off. But...oh well, Rob owns my ass now!!

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  43. @norcaltwitard and @dangrdafne,
    I agree with both of you ladies. I am a romantic at heart and the whole idea that there is a "soulmate" out there for me makes me wonder why I chose the road I did. Why did I choose Mike Newton when I could have my Edward? It's just opened up a lot of questions in my head and in turn caused problems.

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  44. That LKW is always in my head...that might as well be a cross-section of my brain on a microscope slide.

    I started reading Twilight in Dec. of '07 people....yep that is just over three years ago. I did finally stop re-reading the books over and over about two years ago...thanks to fanfic....and then I found Twitarded in March of '09....then all was right in the world.

    Sigh.

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  45. I read the entire series while on mat leave in 2008 - in less than a week! Then I read it again, and again, and again...I'm really surprised my child actually got fed and diapers changed LOL! Then the obsession began...and I began to discover who out of my friends had read the series and we would whisper about it in frantic, passionate whispers at work...then the 1st movie came out and it was all over from there!

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  46. we are pathetic aren't we?i'm trying to obstinate but still....i'm leading a normal life but i go back for my robdose once in a while.of course i'm fb and twitter-linked to get all the news but i don't blog anymore.i think that was the life-eating ''thing'' about me; blogging all day long.but like bella in nm i'm terrified to forget!
    we cannot go back now my bitches!
    but i would not change it a bit!

    To all my fellow twiaddicts:love,peace &twilight forever!

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  47. Actually it will be 2 years ago this week that I gobbled up all 4 books. Your Twilight Brain is pretty close to mine. And you know...I wouldn't change a thing about it. It got me through my parents divorce and my best friends death. Honestly, I don't remember anything else about 2009 besides those 2 horrors and Twilight.
    Cat hearts Twilight 4ever

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  48. Been 2 years since I finished the series. Still think about Twilight every day, mostly thanks to your kind who keep me coming back for more! And new RPattz films! Considering we ended up in marriage counseling over Twilight, sometimes I wish I'd never read it, but most times I'm all too happy to lose myself in it when life is kicking me in the ass.

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  49. That Twilight brain looks very familiar...

    I guess it's been about a year since I finished BD. I have a habit of turning any conversation to something Twilight. I'm forever quoting the movies, much to the(mild)annoyance of my son.

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  50. that first brain diagram is ridiculously offensive. i cannot believe you actually think that describes women 'to a t'. how unbelievably irritating of you to perpetuate such a stereotype. and as a woman yourself!

    huh. unless you're actually a man. and a pretty dickish one at that.

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  51. Oh wow! We just HAD to blogg this. You guys rock!

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  52. Oh wow! We just HAD to blogg this. You guys rock!

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  53. I read the entire series while on mat leave in 2008 - in less than a week! Then I read it again, and again, and again...I'm really surprised my child actually got fed and diapers changed LOL! Then the obsession began...and I began to discover who out of my friends had read the series and we would whisper about it in frantic, passionate whispers at work...then the 1st movie came out and it was all over from there!

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  54. It's been a little over 2 years since I made the leap. I used to read regularly, but shit still got done as needed. Then I was introduced to Twilight and shit stopped getting done. I also thought it was a phase and once I got all the books out of the way I could move on...never happened. I read the books and then figured I would be ok waiting for the movies, but I'm not. I read fanfic like my life depends on that shit,and I'm always on blogs and whatever else I can get my hands on. My house used to get cleaned every single fucking day and now it's like 3x a week and that's on a lucky week. I'll tell myself that it's only for a little while than I'll do my shit for the day, but by the time I look away from the computer, its like 4 a.m. WTF....how the fuck does that happen?? Do I regret it?? HELL NO....I love Twilight and the feelings I get from all the fanfic, pics, blogs, and everything. I feel like I have something in my life for me..you know? And god knows I could use that shit!!

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  55. Okay, I'm not lying when I say I have a twi-brain but it's mainly a Rob-brain at this point. I think I love Rob more than Twilight. *gasp*

    Either way, Twilight will ALWAYS be a part of me.

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  56. Oh LKW. I can't believe its going to be 2 years for me in May as well! I was actually just trying to think of what the hell I wasted my time doing before I found Twilight which then turned into an all encompassing need for Robert Pattinson.

    Seriously! What did I do? Was I actually successful at work? I have no idea. Its like a black hole of Rob & fanfic.

    Either way I always check in with Twitarded :) love you ladies!

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  57. OMG! I feel the exact same way! My obsession started after Twilight left the theater. I was so sick of hearing about this movie. I didn’t want anything to do with it at all. AT ALL! Then one day I was like you know, I need to check this out. I could be missing something. So I got the movie from Netflix. Watched it and got the books from my aunt the very next day. A week later I was done with the books and was like WTF do I do now? Well, of course, you read the damn books again cause you read them so fast the 1st time you coulda missed something. Then I was seriously like WTF now? I need more Edward and Bella! MORE DAMNIT! So I got on IMDB, the New Moon board and learned all about this crazy fandom. I started reading fanfic and made friends who I talk to on twitter, on a daily basis. My husband is still waiting for this "obsession" to go away. I don’t think it ever will. I think this series has changed my life. Is that sad to say? At least I'm not alone though. It seems that you all feel the same way. I was nodding my head the whole time I was reading this article. And that brain diagram that you made, SPOT ON my friend SPOT ON! I have learned about my inner perv thanks to fanfic!

    I wouldn’t change a cotton-picking-fcking thing except, I think my husband needs to take a hike. Does it seem to anyone else that this fandom has brought about marital problems? Maybe that could be the next topic for this blog. I would love to see how marriage statistics have changed since Twilight came out.

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  58. My brain used to look like that but my Twiobsession is waning :-( I used to read so much fanfiction I couldn't keep my Edwards straight and I checked multiple websites all the time. Hell I bought Eclipse the day it came out but I haven't even watched it yet...not even the special features!!!!!! The only thing that I cling to is Twitarded! I love you gals so much!!!!!!!!! (and Going Down and 15 Step when they are updated) I religiously read your posts every night before I go to sleep and I never want to lose that part my my Twibrain.

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  59. This is my brain to a T. Quite frankly, I feel like an alcoholic, or any addict. I really do need an intervention. I actually have started missing appointments. I think there's a problem. I wonder if I would get free rehab if I get on the show "Intervention"?

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  60. That Twilight brain is pure WIN! You nailed it. I finished the books right before the first movie came out and my life has not been the same. When I think about all the things I'm neglecting I start to feel guilty, then I realize I don't care! Life has been way more exciting . . . sadly.

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  61. Not a Creative Screen NameApril 29, 2011 at 10:57 AM

    I just skimmed through the other comments so maybe I missed it, but...is no one else as creeped the fuck out as I am by that fucking creepshow of a picture of a pregnant Bella?? Dear lord, that is NOT okay. I'm still getting shivers and I laughed while watching Children of the Corn (it seriously takes a lot for me to hit my limit of creepiness). I was not okay watching my baby move around inside me when I was pregnant (it's just fucking weird, people!) and I'm certainly not fucking okay looking at that! I'm going to go hide under a blanket until the shivers die down. Is it wrong that I'm harboring the hope that the Breaking Dawn movie surprises us all by killing off Bella immediately after we get to see some freaky-deaky sexing and before she even announces that she's pregnant? (fingers crossed)

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  62. I've been a twiaddict for about three years now with no sign of recovery (not that I seek it, I'm happily obsessed). My human memories have faded so I really don't know what I did before twilight. I do remember how it started though. My daughter wanted to read it because all her friends said it was good. I thought a book about vampires was gross but I was bored one evening a decided to read a little of it. I could not put it down. I went to the store to pick up New Moon as soon as I finished it and was transformed. I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with Edward Cullen.
    I must have re-read those books a dozen times each. It got to the point that I could find any quote in a matter of minutes. I was not physically able to go one day without reading, it was like my own brand of heroin. I was a snob about fan fiction at first, I mean how could anything
    compare to the original? Then some hoor told me to read
    "the honeymoon, edward's POV" which very nicely filled in
    the fade to black cock block in BD. That changed everything. Now I can't get enough of the fics and am amazed at all the talented, creative, hilarious women out there who share the addiction.

    My brain on Twilight Is exactly like your illustration. My husband is worn out. I cannot read anything that isn't about Edward & bella. I am full fledged twitarded.

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  63. I fell hard for twilight less than a year ago, found twitarded shortly there after, which prompted me following you all to Fffffooooorrrrkkkksssss, where I discovered the wonderful world of Twitter after @STY tweeted about me being on my knees in her motel room, since then my journey down the rabbit hole has been nothing but amazing. I have found a wonderful community of like-minded (yup, the twilight mind) amazing women without whom my life would be void of pervy humor and awesome friendship. So, you ask if I would go back to pre-twilight me...my answer is hell-to-the-fuck-no!!! I fluv you all and wouldn't trade you for anything.

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  64. I wouldn't trade any of this for anything. I remember my life pre-Twilight and post-Twilight is soooooo much better. I don't remember when I last read the books but they are a part of me at this point so they are there whenever I need them. And now I have Fan Fiction to fill the gaps and keep me happy. This is where I am supposed to be and I don't want to be anywhere else... well except maybe FFOORRKKSS 2011!!!!

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  65. Depends on the day.
    Sometimes I am downright ashamed at my lack of productivity. Other times I just want to watch n read n surf and feel them good Twilighty feelings. Or have a good ol fashioned Rub Pattinsomething, IYKWIM.
    That period during the Britpackroadtrip was the nadir of my A.T. (after twilight) I was hooked on Twitter like a shaky junkie. It was shameful & I'm surprised no one ripped that iPhone out of my hand & made me do actual work.
    But who am I kidding...I effing love this drug & all my junkie friends. No, I would do it all again.
    Shit, I wish I could!

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