I didn't really mean to! I swear I wasn't looking for anything else. I mean, I was more than content loving the brooding, sparkly goodness that is Edward Cullen. His protective almost-bordering-on-psychotic nature, his tousled I-just-had-the-best-sex-of-my-life bronze hair, that smirk, oh! That smirk.
It's all Neflix's fault. At first it just merely suggested I check out my new man and he would pop up every now and then again. Steadily, as I starred more and more movies and television shows, he began to show up more often, until eventually he was a permanent fixture on my Netflix homepage.
So I decided to give him a go. You know, maybe watch one episode, get to first base.
But he swept me off my feet and forty-eight hours later I was curled on my couch, glass of wine shaking in my chubby paw as I whimpered and gasped and watched my man in action in the last episode. I literally watched over thirteen hours of him this past weekend. We barely got
That Thracian, Spartacus, stole my heart. And possibly my vagina as well.
Spartacus: Blood and Sand. (For some reason whenever I see this, I always read it as Spaaaaaaaarrrrrrttttaaaaaaaaacus and it must be spoken specifically in a deep announcer's voice)
It was glorious.
Seriously, Spartacus: Blood and Sand is a must-see series. It's thirteen episodes of man-chiseled godliness in loincloth. Sure, sure, it's got a shit-ton of blood and guts but that's only rivaled by fuck-like-bunnies-everywhere scenes, not to mention the naked dude-wrestling, naked-wine-drinking, naked... fuck it, according to Spartacus: Blood and Sand, the Romans were a bunch of debaucherous horndogs who liked to hump in the streets and show their tits to the winner of the arena. There is enough sex in this series that even Caligula would be proud.
More importantly, it has this dude in it:
And lots of other hot dudes.
And dudes fighting other dudes (who knew grown men in diapers was hot?)
Sorry, my vagina apparently managed to gain control of my brain there for a moment.
I can't recommend this series enough. It's got everything you could ever want - intrigue, betrayal, girl-on-girl, guy-on-girl, guy-on-guy, full-frontal, awesomely graphic bloody deaths and Lucy Lawless' nipples.
I now have intimate knowledge of Xena: Warrior Princess' areolas. Not sure I how I feel about that...
If you have Netflix, this is streaming for free! Or you can buy it on Amazon, er, or something like that. I didn't really do the research because I was too busy wiping drool off my laptop. Do it!! You know want to watch it. Not convinced? I'll leave you with a little teaser...
Go on, check it out. You know you want to. Don't worry, Edward will wait for you to come back to him. He's got all the time in the world...
Update from Snarkier Than You: Looks like Jenny isn't the only one cheating on Edward! AllTwiedUp has already documented her sordid fling with Spartacus over at Dirty, Hot and Nerdy - check it out!