Sunday, March 13, 2011

Flashback: Am I Ready To Out Myself Like This?

For those of you who never read anything from my old blog, Ramblings of a Latchkey Wife, here's a little blast from the past. I originally posted this on July 8, 2009 - you probably don't know this but the summer of 2009 was horrible in Maine. It rained almost every day in June and I started to go a little stir crazy. After reading this post again after so long, oddly enough, I still often think about doing this. But what really made me laugh was STY's comment (which I've included at the end) - it really was the start of a beautiful friendship.

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I've always wanted a vanity license plate, but never could actually find one I would commit to. I mean I've come up with some clever shit, it's just taking the leap into actually ordering the damn thing and then sticking with it. Mr. Latchkey had a vanity plate on his old, piece of shit pick-up truck that said NUYORKA - clever right? - a kid who grew up on Staten Island (or is it 'in' Staten Island?) now living in Maine. There's usually some smart-ass who will ask him to say "hat dawg" or "cawfee." Jizz nuggets.

Tonight, I was extra bored. It's been raining here in Maine for oh, I'd say the last 40 fucking days so there's not much to do but blog and read FanFic! Not that I'm complaining about more FanFic time, but shit, I think my house may float away. I'm pretty sure I saw my dog trying to turn his doghouse into an ark. (I actually heard on the radio this morning that the last time the temp hit 80 was May 22nd! What the fuck?!) So where was I? Oh ya, I decided to see what was available for clever vanity plates... and as you can see, well, I got a little carried away.

Obvious, I know, but I had to see if it was available... the problem with this one is that I would have to explain it to everyone and well, I would risk a total outing of my secret bloggy lifestyle! Yikes! {starts sweating profusely}

Ultra boring but to the point. Yep, I like Twilight and I'm not afraid to admit it. OK, maybe I'm afraid to admit it to some people... and then I'd just make up some bullshit about how it's my favorite time of day. (Aw gawd, I'm making myself feel a little pukey.)

This one is a little boring too and there's really no room for wiggling out of what this really means. Yep, die hard fan. Love the shit more than my husband. (Crap, did I say that out loud? Sorry Mr. LKW.)

Yes, my friends at Twitarded, it IS available in Maine. And I would totally get this one - in honor of two of the funniest bloggers around! Plus, I really do feel Twitarded most of the time! And everyone would get it - except my husband.

This is actually the style plate I want (but you only get 6 characters) - and one day, when I asked Mr. Latchkey to check to see if it was available, he asked me why on earth I would want my license plate to say Twit Rd. Oh you stupid, stupid, not-privy-to-my-deep-fucking-infatuation-with-anything-Twilight man.

OK, I nearly fucking died when I saw that this one is available. Holy shit! Why don't I also try to find a bumper sticker that says "If you talk Twilight to me, my panties will disintegrate!" or better yet... just get a plate that says...

I'm not shitting you - it's available! Not sure if the state of Maine would actually allow it. Sometimes they can be a big plate tease and say you can have it, but then they snatch it away! (Hehe, I said snatch!)

Alright then, mind out of the gutter (for not anyway 'cause you know it always ends up back there!) Just in case there are any members of Team Jacob (or as I like to call them - PETA) out there who would question my allegiance! Shove this up your hairy dog's ass!

Aw, nothing like putting your boyfriend's name on your car. Almost like a fucking tattoo!

Inching ever so closer to the cutter... I honestly tried CULN FKR and it came back unavailable and I don't think it was because someone has it! Damn.

Oh how I wish Mr. Latchkey's name was Edward - the fucking fun I could have with that! Hmmm... wonder if he'd be willing to change it? Probably not... shit head.


Ok, ok, I just had to do it... not that I would ever have the balls big enough to pull off either one, but it's totally stalker-ific! And surely enough to scare the pants off RP. (Shit, if that's all it takes to get his pants off, then sign me the fuck up!)

And lastly, I thought this was fairly benign - not committing to any particular vamps. It could encompass all my past, present and (most certainly) future vamp loves! For the record, VAMP LVR and VAMPIRE were both taken!

What would your vanity plate say?
Comments:

Snarkier Than You said...
"I'm pretty sure I saw my dog trying to turn his doghouse into an ark." - OMFE i thought that was THE funniest thing ever UNTIL i read the rest of this post - lol!! WOW that killed me!! If you get "TWITARD" I'll have "LTCHKEY" and/or "TWI SLUT" tattooed on my ass...

Jenny Jerkface said...
You kill me. I'm kinda sorta (not really) in your neck of the woods this weekend. But please, please get a Twitard license plate. I want to see STY get her ass tattooed...

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Hope you enjoyed this trip down memory lane! I must have spent a ridiculous amount of time typing all those possibilities into the "online license plate generator." Sometimes I'm just floored at the amount of time I spend with this whole blogging thing.

UPDATE: It's been a long time since I've searched for any Twilighty or bloggy-related license plates online, but I'm here to tell you that THIS one is available for anyone in Maine with the balls big enough to display it! Anyone?


My work here is done.

But really? Do any of you out there have a vanity plate? If so, what does it say? Would you ever get a Twilight-related one? Incidentally... I still don't have a vanity plate.

26 comments:

  1. Don't tempt me woman..you had to put this up...you know how I get, I mean I already have the hat, shirt,sweatshirt, "I heart twitarded" chucks, "I heart fifty" chucks.. I'm so going to so this..Now which one?? Cause there's no way in hell I'm driving into church with Twislut on my plate.. funny stuff..you always make me laugh..Love ya

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  2. so this???? DO THIS..What?? I'm veeeery tired..I had a rough night..

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  3. Gotta always love vanity plates! I'm a proud owner of one and have no shame of my love for Twilight because the plate is TWLTFAN with an OCD - Obsessed Cullen Disorder border around it.

    Even convinced a Burger King manager to give me the window decals of Jacob and Edward so I can put them on the windows. If someone tried to get into the car on "Team Jacob" I was locking the door on their ass! Team Edward all the way!

    Never got the chance to go pick them up, maybe for Breaking Dawn.

    PS- Twitard isn't allowed where I live, I asked when I was there

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  4. @Rikki_DD - wow! love the place - maybe next time on the window decals! are they the see-through kind?? that would be AWESOME! i bought some doodads to add to my little collection of twilighty gear when i was in forks but haven't gotten around to actually putting it on my car (yes, i do EVERYTHING late - there is no selectivity there!).

    @Double_Dippin - Twitarded chucks?? What's this now?! tell us more!!

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  5. That last vanity plate cracked me up. My sides are killing me cause of laughing soo much. I'm a new reader, and with every post I'm loving you girls more and more :)

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  6. and TWATWFL looks so nice with the bird & forest border! It really has become one of my all time favorite words because of you bimbos - goes well with fucknutz.

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  7. He-he. Yep, I have a vanity plate. GLMB3RT. As in GLAMBERT... Adam Lambert fan. My husband and kids think I'm crazy, but they're over it. I also have a sticker in my window that says "Who is John Galt?". My car is a hybrid and I think it makes the John Galt reference especially apropos. By the way, the Atlas Shrugged movie is out April 15. YAY!

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  8. Aww I love trips down memory lane. I do not have Vanity plates, nor do I think I'd ever spend the time & money to get them. However if I had to, I'd probably go with Twired. It's not blatantly obvious...

    xo J

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  9. First of all, I can't believe people ask Mr. LKW to say "Jizz Nuggets" in a NY accent. That's just insane. ;)

    Secondly, I've always wanted a personalized plate but then I figure what if someone finds out its me and then they ALWAYS know that is my car. I guess they would know by the fact that I have a "Be Safe" sticket on it and horrible dents/scratches (I'm ghetto) but still.

    Hmm how many letters do you get? 6? JASLVR OR RATHGSM if I was allowed 7. Sadly Borderline Phenomenal wouldnt fit :(

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  10. I have a set of these!

    They're called personalised plates here in NZ and you get 6 letters.

    I'm a nurse, my name is Amy... hence I have NRSAMY.

    Have had it for nearly ten years and I am over it. So, any kiwi nurses called Amy out there who wanna buy my plates? Call me...

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  12. OMG those would all be hilarious. I don't have vanity plates, and can't imagine ever wanting them. I am by no means ashamed of my obsession, but also don't want to advertise it to the world at large.

    And also, Mr NotSmitten would have a fit... which isn't exactly an argument against... I can see him now, trying to hide while driving around with plates that read: ROBLVR, ROBPORN, ROB4EVA or TEAMROB. Heehee ;)

    xo

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  13. As a Main-ah myself, thanks for taking the time to see which ones are still avail! :) I have checked a few times on which Twilight/Edward/Rob ones I could covertly get without being completely exposed. Now I'm going to have to rise to the challenge!!

    I don't have one now but have had many vanity plates before - my last one said "QTRTHNU" (cuter than you)which I had in my early 20's during my going-out-clubbing when I was young, skinny and hot days! :)

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  14. Oh dude, if I had a car I would totally get the twatwfl. That's just amaazing.

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  15. **Snarkier Than You these are my Chucks.. http://twitpic.com/3w72w6 and these are my favys too http://twitpic.com/48l6zj I'm NOT obsessed...much.. Licence plate WILL follow..why didn't I think of that??

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  16. *snort* These are awesome. If I didn't have to drive clients around, I might consider one. I'd get "MyB4Car" :) because although I drive a Volvo, duh, I would so want a fast and dangerous sports car (like... the XKR) as the After Car. You know, for when I become a Cullen... and a vampire. What?

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  17. I love you people who aren't afraid to let your Twitarded flag fly. I'm counting on Double_Dippin to get that Twitard license plate!!

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  18. I dont have vanity plates...but a woman I see driving around has vamplvr on her plates & a twilught bumper sticker. If I was single I would soooooo get TWITARD or TWATWFL either would be epic!

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  19. Last year,when I was on a road trip from Virginia Beach to Baltimore, I saw a car with "Twilight" on it's plate & I almost got in an accident trying to catch up with it. I finally did & started waving my Edward bookmark at her like the psychopath that I am & we had a nice little squeee moment right there on the highway. I would totally get a Twitard plate if my husband wouldn't leave me. He already occasionally drives my care which has a small Team Edward sticker on the back.....muahahahaha.

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  20. This post is so timely because I just realized the other day that there is a new, mysterious car that keeps parking in front of my house with a license plate that reads 017 TWI . It has to be a Twilight fan yes? Right in my neighborhood. I have yet to see the person park or get in their car.....when I do, I will decide whether to pounce.

    At this point I need to figure out my tattoo before a vanity plate. Maybe someday....TWITRD is available here in Washington....at least last time I checked.

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  21. The Bentist has a BENTST plate...I want one, too. I haven't been able to decide. Something Twi-friendly that only my twat waffles would understand, or something a little more...less...you know.

    Unfortunately, the Oregon DMV doesn't tell me what's available or not, so I'll just have to go in there to see. 6 letters/#'s limit you, but here are my ideas:

    TWITRD
    TWTWFL
    OSABLA
    SLRWRD
    FICLUV
    174EVR
    ROBWRD
    50 SUB
    EDCCUL

    It's enough to make me wanna move back to a state that has 7 spaces...

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  22. Addicted2TwilightMarch 22, 2011 at 8:58 PM

    I don't have one, but I too have always wanted one. I've never been able to settle on one thing. I did however just find out that I can get DRVLKCLN which is kinda funny. TWATWFL would be a lot more fun!

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  23. Awesome ideas for the plates. I do not have a vanity plate but I do have a story about my current plate. PA has 3 letters for the beginning of their plates and mine is DNC. I was devastated as DNC is a not so nice medical procedure - so my Dad thought he would help and say, "no DNC is Dance and you like to do that!" Awww so sweet Dad. And then Mom chimed in... "Or if could be Dunce." LMAO!!! I remember at first being mad but then just laughing my butt off. So depending on my day, my plate can be bad, good or hilariously funny.

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  24. That last vanity plate cracked me up. My sides are killing me cause of laughing soo much. I'm a new reader, and with every post I'm loving you girls more and more :)

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  25. so this???? DO THIS..What?? I'm veeeery tired..I had a rough night..

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  26. @Rikki_DD - wow! love the place - maybe next time on the window decals! are they the see-through kind?? that would be AWESOME! i bought some doodads to add to my little collection of twilighty gear when i was in forks but haven't gotten around to actually putting it on my car (yes, i do EVERYTHING late - there is no selectivity there!).

    @Double_Dippin - Twitarded chucks?? What's this now?! tell us more!!

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