Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Making a Love Connection for RPattz & KStew

Here at Twitarded, we are decidedly in favor of the Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy. Naturally, I'm talking about the existence of the maybe / maybe not couple known as Robsten. (What did you think I was talking about?)

Speculation is rampant on whether or not RPattz and KStew are "together-together." I honestly hope they never confirm or deny their relationship. I refused to confirm my pregnancy the entire forty weeks. People would ask and I would simply thank them for their insensitivity as it was more likely that I'd just let myself go. My Bitch Switch is stuck on high at all times.

Whether they are together or not matters little to us, as long as they are happy and keep showing up places looking pretty.

Like this. Yes, just keep doing this...

I got to thinking today (you know this is going somewhere dastardly), what other love connections are possible for this duo? I've never tried matchmaking before, but how hard can it be? It seems like simple math. You just factor in what people like and whom they've dated before and voila! You have a list of new mates. For example, Kristen used to date that kid from Sky High. Maybe she likes superheros.

I would watch this movie all day long.

She has also dated (maybe) a vampire. Perhaps mythical characters are her bag.

I can see both their zippers.

Or maybe she's just attracted to immortality. I won't judge. You never know where the love bug will bite.

Cocoon was the shit. Even KStew knows it.

What about Mr. Pattinson? What are his options for finding love in this topsy turvy world? Well, he started out his career in a relationship with a dragon, so there's nowhere to go but up.

Rawr! That's hot.

He might currently be having a fling with a certain pachyderm. I am Team Taibert all the way.

"Is this thing on?"

Let's not forget about the Amish Crocodile Dundee pics. Vanity Fair kind of did all the work for me here. You can tell by the glint in the gator's eye that she too has fallen prey to the lure of The Precious. Who can blame her?

This takes the bridal-style hold to a whole new level.

A couple really has to have something in common to form a lasting bond.

A caption seems like overkill here.

While writing this post, my cat, Shakespeare, asked me to put in a good word for him. They have a history, after all.

[Note from STY: I think every pussy would want in on that action...]

Whether this duo finds love here or elsewhere, I just hope they're happy. And keep making movies. And doing photo shoots. Discuss amongst yourselves, ladies.


  1. I was scurrred to read this post, being a huge I GIVE A CRAPSTEN type of gal & all.... However, I LOVED it. Very tastefully done Ms. TK.

    PS...I wouldn't mind seeing KStew DRESSED up as Wonder Woman...hmmm.

    PSS If that's your kitty, she's a cutie patootie!

    xo J

  2. It's just me or the first pic looks like Kstew is giving Rob a hand job?

  3. That first pic is a manip right? Because it definately looks dodge!

    I like it...

  4. Nice post TK!

    I heart your match ups. Almost as much as the TaiBert photo... my new fave.

    Oh, and your pussy is cute. hehehe.

  5. Rob and the emu look like they had a rough night. Kristen and bigfoot have similar gaits. How do you come up with this stuff? Funny.

    I am not emotionally invested in Robsten. I like how they appear together, it's cute but it wouldn't cause me a moments concern if they weren't.

  6. I don't know how you pulled this off TK but Team Taibert FTMFW! And Team StewSquatch. Definitely.

    P.S. that llama pic slayed me. I'll never again be able to watch Napoleon Dynamite without thinking of RPatts. I have mixed feelings on this.

  7. my little sister is krisbian and she isn't having any of StewSquatch....me I think it's genius

  8. I'm not sure what made me laugh harder -- the sasquatch or the llama. Or the whole fucking thing. I'm going with the whole shebang. LOL!

  9. Oh, I like the cute patootie kitty too! Eh, RobSten. They're young, they have options. Good luck to em.

  10. This is forking hilarious. I love how your twisted mind words.

    Gotta share these pics with the gals at work who love Rob but don't seem to know how to visit blogs. (if they ever figured that out, they wouldn't need me)

  11. The Alpaca Rob picture is too hilarious!!

    Love the matching picture game with KStew too - very well done :)


  12. Did Jen really compliment TK on her kitty? Things are getting kinky around here.

    TK...nothing short of brilliant per usual. The llama one made me giggle snort.

  13. Great post! Anyone who has watched any WFE press knows Rob is dating the elephant! ;-) Although I think he and the llama make quite the pair too!

  14. Ahhahha the llama is awesome! LOVE it.

    Robsten are dating. I refuse to see it any other way, and I just wrote a novel on the subject over at TwiCrack Addict. Not typing it again so please reference that. They're a perfect match. <3

    My w/v is puttione. Not the same - but anyone reminded of a certain mob insult from a certain awesome story?

  15. I enjoy your creativity. Nicely done!

  16. It's late, I've had sake and I even got a preview of this post. Nevertheless, I'm having trouble finding the words. See email for restricted verbalization. Gah1

  17. The caption on the Taibert photo made me laugh right out loud at my desk. I'm sure some nosy coworker will be in here in T-8 seconds to find out what's so funny.

    And of course... how could I not give props to STY for this gem: [Note from STY: I think every pussy would want in on that action...]

    TK - your mind scares me. There's a lot of dark shit hiding up there. Maybe this is why I love you!


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