Friday, September 23, 2011

I Love Boys in Baseball Hats

I've been a fan of baseball since I was a kid. I remember so vividly going to Fenway Park for the first time when I was 8 with my dad, grandfather and great grandmother. I still love baseball -- except right now I pray every night that the Red Sox at least hang on to that wild card spot so they aren't known for the biggest September choke ever in the history of major league baseball. If that happens, I will never hear the end of it from my Yankee-fan husband. But that's another whole blog post.

And with my love of baseball comes a love for boys who wear baseball hats. Mr. Latchkey Wife never goes anywhere without one. Lately he's been favoring the hat I bought him in Kalaloch last year -- even though he has no idea how to pronounce it, or what the fuck it even is! But he wears it, and that makes me happy. So needless to say, one thing (on a very long list) I love about Robert Pattinson is his eclectic collection of head gear.

As much as I hate the Yankees (being a Sox fan, it's just in my blood), I will love no photo of RPattz in a baseball cap as much as I love this one. I've even scoured the interwebs for this hat because as much as I hate to see my hubs pledge his allegiance to the evil empire on his hat, I wanted him to have this one. I may have needed him to have this hat. But alas... my efforts have failed.

Just everything about this picture is perfect: the black t-shirt, those jeans, now if only there was a red B on that hat, I could call it my heaven.

Sometimes I think that he picks up hats at the thrift shop -- hats of last-place teams that their previous owner has discarded in disgust over their lackluster performance. Like he just picks it up off the shelf, brushes the dust off it, and plops it on his head without even a second thought about the sweat stain ring on the inside. I hate to break it to you Rob, not even your magical touch can rescue either of these teams' seasons. If I thought you could, I'd hunt you down and glue a Red Sox hat to your head. For realz.

Padres circa what? Sometime in the 1990s? Any SD fans out there? How old is this fucking hat?

This Baltimore Orioles hat bears (haha, see what I did there?) such a striking resemblance to the SD hat in the above picture, I almost think he bought them both at the same place. Errr, what's up with TomStu and the Grizzly Adams look? I think he's scaring the poor puppy!

And then there's the Dodgers hat. The first time I saw RPattz sporting this LA hat I immediately thought it was a publicity stunt by Frank McCourt to pull his team out of bankruptcy. Sorry Frank... some incredibly hot young British hunk actor wearing your team's hat is not going to save you. As a matter of fact, I just saw today that MLB has asked a federal judge to order the sale of the Dodgers. Did Manny put a curse on you guys or what?

I won't be sad if I never see this hat on that pretty head ever again. 

While filming Remember Me, Rob was often seen roaming the streets of NYC in a hat with a lobster patch. Between you, me and the lamp post, I once had a conversation with a former fan (that has pretty much vanished off the face of the earth) who was convinced he wore this hat at her suggestion. Uh huh... I'm sure that's exactly how it happened. Or maybe it happened because he bought it at a fucking lobster joint in Montauk. I think that sounds more like it.

This hat makes me happy. I'm from Maine. We love lobster. We love RPattz wearing lobster hats.

And eating lobster. Or pretending to eat lobster. Where am I?

There's just one hat that I want to burn. I'd like to douse it in gasoline and set it a blaze (with the puffy brown jacket of course). I'm so tired of seeing it, when I do I almost feel repulsed which is saying a lot considering whose head it's on. Mainly I hate it because of its overexposure. And the ridiculous fact that he still actually believes it's a good disguise. Dood... you wear it like every. fucking. day. It stopped hiding your identity a bazillion months ago.

LB = Live Birth (as in "let me gnaw the demon fetus from your dying form"). The beard is the only thing that saves this photo.

After the stressful couple of weeks I've had, I really needed a good, ol' fashioned, Rob-filled post of hawtness to usher me into the weekend. What about you? Doesn't RPattz make you forget your worries from the week? I only wish he were going to be the mint on my pillow at the Forks Motel.


  1. Rob's Yankees hat looks like the adult version of this hat:


  2. I've never been a huge baseball hat fan either, but I'm a convert now fo sho! I'm feelin you big time here sista.

    Plus, you've brought some of my alltime fave RP pics together, for that I love and owe you!

    I don't mind the Long Beach or whatevs hat that is, but it is so over (stupid saying for stupid hat) but you are absolutement correct the beard and his crankypantsface save the dayyyyyyyyyyyyy
    (sorry, started drooling and fell off keyboard there)

    where the fuck is mine? that's all I wanna know, the man, not the hat--I may be ruined for life. Wish I'd already found a dude before this ahole happened to me, who will ever compare?


  3. If Rob could elevate a team's status and record just by wearing their hat... the Chicago Cubs could use a little face time perched on the awesome bronze locks of RPattz. Those poor bastards choke when it counts. So Rob, please put this hat on your head so that the Cubs can win in my lifetime. My whole family will die out without ever seeing a win, can you have that on your conscience? Are you like the reverse of a curse... a good luck charm perhaps?

    He is a good luck charm that I'd love to rub on!

  4. I love you LKW!! This was an awesome post filled with RPatz goodness!! Give me any hat with that beautiful head under it! But you are right, that first one with the black vneck always gets me hot and bothered!!

  5. I love how he's gripping th ear of corn-those are some lovely long limber fingers! hey, I'm from Portland, Maine (hi, LKW! Look me up and we'll hang out in the Old Port some eves) so I like to pretend we're on Peaks Island watching the sunset together-eating lobster can either be very messy or very sensual (cue image of tongue licking buttery lips...uh oh, feeling faint)...thanks, that's one of (many) all-time fave pics!

  6. Thanks for the eye candy. You gave us all the good hats & not the stupid trucker hats! And button fly jeans . . . Mmmmmmm. Were there some words in this post?

    I was just thinking today, that since it's going to be raining in Fooooorks next week, I need a hat. Does anyone recall seeing a cool hat in the shops in Forks last year?

  7. Mmm...Bearded, baseball hat wearin' RPattz. Yessir, I'm there. I love, love, love a man in a baseball hat. I flove baseball. If I could get him in a Phillies hat, I'd be one happy chick. Just please...burn that fucking spankee hat. No one should wear that, especially you, Precious.

  8. why can't my hubby look that good in a hat?

  9. I needed this too. Thanks, LKW :). The mint on your pillow, LMAO! If only...

  10. Awesome pics, I'd love to see him in just a hat..nothing else..just a hat..then he could have a "hat on" get it?? hat...oh nevermind.. Anywho..I saw a similar hat at Newburry comics, now I'm going to have to go and look just to be sure.. see you soon.. XOXOXX

  11. Being employee of the LB (Long Beach State) i got giddy seeing him in it, but it's well worn and needed replacing.
    Having been born and raised in Baltimore, imagine my increased giddy behavior at the Baltimore cap emergence (although I would have rather him get a vintage cap with just the bird on it- ah well)

    But I will always love him in the yankees cap (please don't tell my family- they'd flay me alive)

    But what concerns me more is the fact that the boy will go bald if he continues to wear the caps... I mean- i know we only see him in them when he is out and about... but if he walked around without a cap... perhaps we'd never notice him , lol

    Go bare, Rob... come on.. save the locks! let that hair get some sun and fresh air!

    switch things up. JS....

  12. I SO agree that this was a breath of fresh Rob-scented air. I too share the love of baseball hats. I've always dated, and well married, guys that wear them habitually. This man is, ugh, delicious. Thanks, LKW! :)

  13. I felt a personal connection with RP when I saw him wearing the hat from my team (Baltimore Orioles!). Hoping it would bring them some hot luck. :) And YES RPattz is like a much needed cock-tail (yum) on a Friday night happy hour!

  14. Wow, LKW, you didn't realize "LB" meant Long Beach? I appologize if I sound so blunt. It's just that I grew up near Long Beach and my mum attended CSULB in the 80's, so the place is really special for me.
    That said, I couldn't supress my glee when I saw him wearing that hat. GO PROSPECTORS!

  15. Gee - my cousin's a professor at LB! Does that get me within 2 degrees of Rob?

    My ex was a bb-hat wearing dude and had a huge collection -- mostly fishing companies. Several had actual fish scales on them from being used at work. I think I hauled them all to the dump when I cleaned out the house...

  16. I am not a huge fan of baseball hats unless they are on The Precious. He could wear dance pants and it would make me twitch in unmentionable places. I do wish he would wear the beanie more again. Sigh.

  17. I love guys in baseball caps too. The pic of Rob in the NYY hat is a fav. of mine. Oh, and him in those button fly God! I'm a huge Yankees fan too, so it's a win-win for me.

  18. That top picture is my favourite pap pic of ALL TIME. And that hat has quite a lot to do with that. Hubba hubba.

  19. Great post. But long live LB. Been worried about it. Haven't seen it in a looong time.

  20. I think he gets his shirts at the thrift store too. Did anyone notice the "Welcome to the Jungle" Bengals sweatshirt. My husband has an old one like that from his high school days in the late 80's, early 90's. Who Dey, I'd like to visit that "Jungle". Too much?

  21. @holdmeRansom....seeing as I am on the other side of the harbor (Pedro/PV), I kind of like seeing him give some love to LB!

  22. *high fives* Way to combine our two loves, LKW!

    Unfortunately, the Yankees hat looks totally yummy on him. And I think you're right about him finding old hats and adopting them. LOL!

    Have a safe flight tomorrow.




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