Sunday, October 9, 2011

Breaking Dawn is NEXT MONTH! HOLY CRAP!

Sorry for the shouty caps but some time in the last couple of days I realized it was October and OH MA GAHD Breaking Dawn Part 1 (or as JJ has so affectionately nicknamed it, "Before the Spawn") will be here before we know it! Like I could actually stand to start a countdown on my calendar... 17 months ago it was just too depressing to think about how many days I had to wait.

So in order to quench my Breaking Dawn thirst, I did a little perusing on Google images for some yumminess. I found some. I know we've all seen the stills from the movie but I'm feeling sentimental tonight and I'm in need of some good old-fashioned eye candy. The BD stills get my insides all fluttery and well, you get the idea...

In my opinion, THIS should be the official Breaking Dawn movie poster. Don't you agree?

I think there's something wrong with this picture -- oh right, it's not ME laying in that bed. And jftr, I would NOT be sleeping. Geez, Bella, wtf is wrong with you? Dummy.

Honeymoon: You're doing it wrong.

Seriously, if all I had to do was plaster a frightened look on my face to get this treatment... color me fucking scared. Edward, hold me!

And then there was some weird shit that just fucking scared me... the un-yummy stuff. The stuff that made me wish I never Googled "Breaking Dawn Honeymoon". There's always that picture of Bella with the demon spawn handprints on the inside of her stomach that I just can't bear to post anymore. That shit gives me nightmares. For realz.

 What. The. Fuck? Is this for the same Breaking Dawn that I read by Stephenie Meyer? Or did she do an extra scary version that I missed? *shivers*

 I have no words. Oh wait, I have two words: floating heads. Definitely having some sort of fucked up dream after this one.

Ok, that's it... I can't torture myself any longer with this weirdness. Now I feel the need to cleanse my pallet with something... oh yes, this will work! You can thank me later. November 18 needs to get here right the fuck NOW!


  1. Gosh, it IS only one month away! I too remember over a year ago thinking how could I wait that long? What if I died beforehand?
    Pretty pissed the second half is a year away, why not summer like Eclipse? Fucking Scummit.

    I am seriously soiling panties waiting for this movie. I'm not sure I can see this movie in the presence of small children...

    On another note: the word verification I have to type is "braphail" LOL, makes me giggle

  2. Unngggghfff. One month!!! And my birthday is in one month, too!! This will be one kick ass bday present...Nothing like leaving panties on the floor of a theater to say "Thanks for the memories."

    Haven't we run into this before? You think we would learn from the past. Never google Twilight related shit unless you are prepared for the onslaught of bullshit. Wait. That makes me want to google "Breaking Dawn Art."

  3. Did anyone else notice in the floating heads picture that Bella is FEEDING Edward? When did he start eating solid food? I thought she was painting his lips at first (a completely normal honeymoon activity), but I'm pretty sure she's feeding him.

  4. LOL, whatever she's feeding him I believe she's using chopsticks...

  5. TK- I saw the Bella feeding Edward photo too and just assumed she's giving him a midnight snack..her tampon.

    Oh wait, gotta stop talking about tampons or my Forks roomie might throw up again.

  6. Yes. Right the fuck now!

    I heard about the Twilight Tuesdays coming up in November, and I thought "How could they possibly have something that I haven't already seen on the interwebs?" Then I said, "Well, I haven't seen those deleted scenes or outtakes on a big screen." And besides, who are these special presentations for, if not for people like me? And what else do I have to do on Tuesday nights?

    So . . . I'mma go. Every Tuesday. AND, I'mma read Breaking Dawn again [for the 10th time.] And I'm OK with that.

  7. OK Seattle-area Twitards - lets get our shit together for once and go see this en masse. Pleeeeese?

  8. Dear Twitarded,

    Do you still want me to write you a super dooper amazing spoiler-free review when I see Breaking Dawn on November 16th (US time)?

    Call me.

    Love, TwiKiwiFifty x

  9. Is anyone going to the Twilight Tuesdays? The nearest theatre in Maine is like 2 hours away from me. Really? Come on! SOOOOOOOOOOOO excited for November!

  10. Oh MAN I can't believe it's so close! Lindsay Rae, I hope the Bentist is prepared for you to lose your favorite pair of panties in the theater.

    And LOL Rugbymama! I adore your ownership of your Twi-obsession. While I don't think I"ll be able to make the Twilight Tuesdays, I am totally planning on re-reading all the books in preparation for it. For like, the hundredth time. SO WHAT DON'T JUDGE ME



    (sorry for the shouty-caps but HOLY CROW it's almost time!!!)

  12. Newbie lurked checking in. I worship the ground that you Twat Waffles walk on!

    I live an hour away from Baton Rouge. Had I not been a JaneComeLately to the party, I would have pulled a few legislative strings to get my ass in proximity to the Precious...and probably scored a restraining order or ten simultaneously.

    As much as I fear what will flash before my eyes on November 18th, my overall philosophy is if it has ample Edward Cullen scenes, I can and have endured worse.

    My pet names for the movies are:

    "Breaking Dawn: Finally Getting It On" and, similar to the name given here to Part 1, my Part Deux is called "Breaking Dawn: After the Spawn."

    No matter how bad it may all be I'll be packing booze and lust for Edward, so there's gotta be some "win" in there somewhere.

    So happy to have found my people!

  13. Fucking AutoCorrect...

    1st line should read: Newbie lurker checking in...

    Also, I frequent Maxwell's Market...the preferred sandwich shop of the Precious and I am going to fully interrogate this bitches on all things he did, etc., while simultaneously bitch them out for not having candid photos of Presh. FYI, Maxwell's serves complimentary draft beer while you shop. Oh, the mischief RobWard & I could have gotten into in a storage room--multiple orgasms with a cheap beer buzz? Yes, please!

  14. Dammit...I hate to appear to possess poor Grammar skills...correction: interrogate those bitches.

  15. So, I may or may not have contacted my theater to PLEASE participate in the Twilight Tuesdays. (Hint: I totally did) I have never seen Twilight in big screen, surround sound glory. Hello, cafeteria sex walk... Anyway, I thought it would be a great way to build anticipation for Breaking Dawn. Not that I don't own them all and could watch any time I want. I can't believe it's only 38 days! Seems like it was just 138.

  16. Even some of those pics can't ruin the anticipation of BD. Bad thing being that so far the official stills do not seem to bear out Bill Condon's assertion that for BD, he want back to the look of Catherine Hardwicke's original Twilight.

    But how nice to know that I am not the only one who has never seen Twilight in theatrical release (or New Moon, btw)--only seen both maybe hundreds of times on TV. (And after @Spottysmom asked me in Forks, I am 99% sure that I like the New Moon soundtrack best.

    So I am going to Twilight Tuesdays for those two, even if it has to be totally, utterly alone (sighs, but head held high....).

  17. Serious SQUEE alert... It's SO freaking soon! Thank you so much for not posting the pic of spawn baby's hand print on the inside of Bella's stomach. I wouldn't be down with that in any way.

  18. I am anxious to get my tickets. I am hoping to do a midnight showing party ..and why havent' they gone on sale yet in MY town? This needs to be fixed...I can't wait.


    39 DAYS!! So much to do, so little time. I can't believe it's almost here! Damn Summit for making us wait so long. I still am trying to grasp the fact that we will walk away on November 18th with half the story...and a WHOLE friggin' 12 months to wait for the rest. But I'm least the ride won't be over yet. That's the glass half full observation.

  20. @JoliBojoux--You are cracking me up. I hope you don't start lurking again.

  21. Hey LKW - i knew right away that it was your post "color me fucking scared. Edward, hold me!". lol. Do we have any twilight Tuesday happening around us?
    back when we weren't sure if they would do BD - i couldn't imagine this book on film but now I can't wait !
    Bring on the sippy cup-o-blood and the feathers.

  22. @Danielle...Brunswick isn't too far for me but it's a worknight...
    I'm considering taking every Weds. off in Nov. so I can catch the Tues show & sleep in the next day...of course, I took 11/18 as a vac day last year! but haven't seen any midnite show tix yet- hoping for Saco Cinemagic though...
    or the one in SoPo (they have a lounge/bar for beforehand libations-love that word, liiiibaaations, mmm! I sort of consider Rob a very delectable liiiibaaaation-uh oh....there they go again, damn panties, no stamina at all!)

  23. Squee I got my Breaking Dawn Tickets today.... Happy Happy Hoor I am! 10pm on the 17th...

  24. I just bought our tickets yesterday for the midnight showing. Woot!

  25. I'm going to see BD with "I Give Up"; can't fucking wait!!!

    Yeah, the floating heads pic is kinda disturbing.

  26. @ Texas Katherine...that's one helluva compliment, as your shit has made me laugh out loud at the most inappropriate times in the office causing my staff to wonder, as I fucking well *know* they do on an hourly basis any way, whether the time has finally come to order an involuntary psych commitment.

    Now that I have discovered my version of Mecca here: incredibly snarky, witty, sluttish women to whom I can relate, you may regret being so receptive...just sayin'. Fear not, my staff has those commitment papers within arms reach should I become more than a handful.....those fuckers!

  27. @KInTheFlo -- well look what the cat dragged in!! So nice to see your comment... shall we make a plan to see BD Part 1??

  28. @Rikki_DD - feckin! hilarious!!

  29. Ok Ladies... i have to ask. What if they fuck this up? The calendar was a disgrace, ComiCon wasn't a sellout and the preview magazines don't appear to be selling in my neck of the woods. We all know in our heart of hearts that Breaking Dawn as a book had "some issues". What if they don't pull this together? It's hard enough to be a Twitard sometimes.
    I hate to admit that I'm losing faith a bit... but I'm losing faith a bit.


  30. OK Seattle-area Twitards - lets get our shit together for once and go see this en masse. Pleeeeese?


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