Monday, October 3, 2011

Forks 2011 - The Jetlagged Post

We're baaaack!! And holyshit am I jetlagged.

It was a blast. There was lots of laughter and hugging and giveaways and some serious shenanigans that went on this year (including a ninja-puker on the drunk bus) and this trip was overall a boatload of fun.

We will have more pictures and other Forks-y related stuff for in in the next few weeks - we swear we won't take nearly a year to post all of them this time, either. In the meantime, we wanted to give you just a taste of what went down in the Pacific Northwest this year. Think of it as "just the tip".

Sadly, I didn't get my bullhorn that I had been begging people on Twitter for, but I did manage to serenade my lovely roommates in other ways that probably made them less stabby.

Amazingly, I was frighteningly sober at the time. It was also a good thing our neighbors at the hotel in Seattle were Twitards. Either that, or they killed the twitards inside and forgot to take the sign down.

The ride down to Forks was really beautiful and I alternated between passing out in the back of the van or squealing in terror at the way the driver was, well, driving. I did learn that there is one person whose driving is actually more pants-crapping-terrifying than Snarkier Than You. I'll give you hint: it starts with "L" and ends with "atchkey Wife".

The inside of our van, where I cowered. Incidentally, this doesn't mean STY or LKW are bad drivers. I'm just a pussy.

In between preparing for our parties both nights, we did the usual touristy stuff one does when they are at the Olympic Peninsula.

We went to First Beach:

 ...And reenacted scenes from Twilight.

We headed out to the Hoh Forest as well.

Some river on the way to the Hoh...

Wait for it, wait for it... A ho in the Hoh...

Penis tree!! It's a tree with a PENIS. Rainforests are amazing.

There was even a little gift shop where you could buy trinkets!

I do have to say this - even if you have zero desire to ever step foot in Forks, the Olympic Peninsula is insanely beautiful and definitely worth the trip (more on this later).

Once we finished sight-seeing, it was time to set up for the party!

We had a decorating committee of the most talented ladies (and gents!) to help us with our decorating. Seriously, they MADE this party awesome. If I had been left on my own with this... it wouldn't have looked good. AT ALL.

Once we had the decorations up and the music going... it was tiiiiiiime!

LKW molesting Edward.

That's all for now, folks! Trust me, we have a ton more but jetlag has turned my brain into useless gray matter. And that McDonald's I ate somewhere in transit is still haunting me, too.

I truly hope everyone who came had a wonderful time. It was really great to see everyone!

Until next time... be safe.


  1. Looks like you all had a fab time. I'm still PMSL over that vid of you "beep-boxing" (or however the fuck you spell it) with that SUPER FANCY instrument.

    xo J

  2. Yay! You survived. Thanks for the preview, can't wait for everyone's stories, pics and videos to get posted. The scenery is breathtaking but I'm truly afraid of what you all did with that poor little tree. Hopefully there aren't photos of that.

  3. Looks like another epic time in Fooooorks! As always, I wish I could have been there. Can't wait to see more pics!!!

  4. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. huh? Oh yeah pretty jet lagged/hungover/sick. I had a blast and so overdid everything to the maxx.. I was fighting a cold before I left and then Sunday it hit full on and after drinking/partying/drinking/dancing/hiking/drinking/hiking/partying/dancing/drinking..well you get what I mean right? Oh, and throw on top of that mix 3 hrs of sleep each night and at my age = total body/mind/soul meltdown. Would I change anything?? HELL NO (Oh and I can sign that thanks @hell_no & lindsayRae)
    You guys all rock my world and I love all of you dearly.
    JJ, STY, LKW I would have loved to joined you at the airport, but I was a hot mess, and I didn't want to breathe my raging flu germs all over you. I love you guys dearly and thank you so so much for all your hard work and efforts for the fandom. JJ I so wanted to get to rock out our kazoos to some Man Man. DAMN YOU FLU! Even still I had an amazing time reguardless of my flu bug. Epicness was truly had. thank you, than you, thank you. XOXOXOXO

  5. Glad it was a great time and wish I was there.
    I already told my husband it's "on like Twitards on Edward's penis" next year...
    (loosely translated to me going)

  6. AMAZING fun!!! This trip was good fory soul in so many ways. I know I've said it a lot, but it's the people, not the place, that made this trip phenomenal. So next year, whatever Twitards congregate, I'm THERE! #Twitarded2012

    I love you chicks HARD!!!

  7. There was much fun had by all!! The Hoh was filled with trenis (tree penis - All Twied Up's awesome hubs came up with that, btw) both big & small. I had an awesome time & am so grateful I got to experience JJ's kazoo playing first hand (I may or may not have a video of said kazooing that I may or may not be planning to post.) *insert diabolical laugh here* I fluv you all & totally vote for a 2012 twitard gathering...New York anyone???

  8. FUCK ME RUNNING!!! I need to reread b4 I hit send! Anyway... Good for MY soul... WHEREVER Twitards gather. Gah!

  9. Ah-may-zing! The people even more than the place as I said in my blog post! Great times and can't wait for next year, wherever we may reunite!! I'll bring the glow sticks and train people how to make more Jello shots <3

  10. If the bullhorn thing had worked out, this trip might have gone horribly wrong. I could see it maybe falling out of the minivan as we careen around a sharp corner or something...possibly with you attached to it...

    I have so much to say about this trip but I am about to face-plant on my laptop. Much more to follow later, I am sure!


  11. I had a fucking blast and a half. I found a new soulmate in @StarlitViolets (I have about 10 now, thanks to this blog), I serenaded Edward (erm, sort of. Can't wait to see THAT vid), I got to spend time all up in that Hoh, and my besties from home fit in GREAT with all of the other Twitards, and loved every minute of it! Success!

    Once again, I came home with a sore throat and sore abs. So much laughing, singing, laughing, and squeeing...Let's do it again, somewhere bigger next time. Like Portland. So I can drive.

    I have a million other things to say, but I'm sure we'll get through it all in the other posts.

    Are we gonna have a place for everyone to post their pics?

  12. What an amazing time! I got to meet and hang out with so many more people this year. Rottymama and Twitardmom are now added to my list of best roommies ever! Can't wait to do this again!

  13. I can hardly believe it's over. So much fun, I miss you all so much. Muhwa! @StarlitViolets makes the best jello shots!

  14. We are still in Seattle. We did all the touristy stuff today. Bought the US Magazine Sexy Stars of Breaking Dawn to enjoy on the plane tomorrow!

    Much thanks to STY, JJ, LKW and all of their helpers for organizing this. I know you worked your asses off to make this happen. [Sorry that doesn't actually cause your ass to shrink.] Also special thanks to @Red_Bella for all the sexy pillowcases. I'mma hafta fight my daughter for the one she won!

  15. Forks 2011 was absolutely amazing.

    I didn't realize how hared STY, JJ & LKW worked to make this all come together. Thanks for everything y'all did to make Forks 2011 happen.

  16. Oh yeah. I still wanna know which one of you h00rs left your blue-green thong on the sidewalk across from the Forks Motel Saturday night!

  17. Ditto finding a place where we can all post pictures. Because mine, as usual, are pretty much out of focus.
    @JJ - I have a great picture of your owl dress. Literally. No head attached.

    Forks 2011 was awesome. This year wasn't about being nervous; it was about seeing old friends and making new ones as well.

    Just one quick FAVORITE story: on Sunday we were getting our ferry ticket on the way back to Seattle with our "Honk if you're a Twitard" sign on the car. The ticket lady asked what that was - we explained we were crazy ladies with a Twilight obsession. She said she'd met some others already that morning - they came through the ticket line with a blow-up doll in their car.

    You know who you are! And what went down with that doll over the weekend. :)

  18. Looks like you guys had a great time! Thanks for sharing this and all the great Forks Fuckery yet to come. ;)

  19. BAHAHAHAHAH Kintail, that lady totally chatted with us!!!! She said something like, "Oh, is it Edward?" and we were like, "No, it's Rob!" and she was like "I can tell, you guys are more classy." And we just about died. Yes, the ladies with the blow up doll in the car have class just rolling off of us in waves!! Oh man, I'm so glad she spotted you guys!

    I had an AMAZING time, but that was a given with you hoors. It's always amazing to get everyone in one place, and I know it's a given, but I'm always amazed at how NICE everyone is!! So good to see everyone.

    Mini J and I (yay!!!!) are currently shivering back home, in the weather that is WAY COLDER than it was in Forks. Cannot wait to see everyone's pictures and fabulousness from the weekend! Also: if you are one of the few who videoed the, ahem, karaoke extravaganza that Lindsay Rae and I performed, I am dying to see it, but could you post it privately? Or password protect it or something? I really like my new job. :)

    Miss you bitches so much already! And a HUGE thanks to JJ, STY, and LKW (and Vitamin R! and Myg!) for putting all this amazing stuff together. I can barely get through my life as it is, let alone planning a Twilighty extravaganza for me and 100 of my closest twatwaffles! You ladies are flipping amazing. And if it weren't for you, I wouldn't have met some of my best friends in the world.


  20. What an fucktastic weekend! MoniJo and I drove by Escala Sunday and watched WFE in our room (the damn reception sucked). Home on Monday night and now, back to RL (yuck)! You pick a location next year and we are soooooo there!!

  21. That was our door..."We Love Twitarded...Forks or Bust". Quite the conversation starter it was. I find Twitarded, Pocket Es, and fake fangs to be huge assets (twss) when it comes to making new friends in a new place, especially with the locals. (<---I'm not even shittin' you. Totes serious.)

    This was the BEST trip EVAH. I swear. It's hard for me to even pick a highlight because pretty much from the time I saw Rob in Tulsa International (ok, I jest), to stepping back off the plane in Tulsa (even after 19 hours of traveling), it was all highlights in my book.

    I need a new vocabulary because I keep saying cliche words like "it was awesome"..."amazing"..."more sparkly than Edward's peen".

    As tired as I still feel today, I would hop back on a plane and do it all again tomorrow.

    Thanks so much for making #FORKS2011 happen and bringing so many soulmates together. It's a beautiful thing! You guys have definitely done your good deeds for the year, so you're off the hook 'til next year.

  22. Oh, and @jennyjerkface, I can't believe you were holding out on the rest of us. You've got mad skillz on the kazoo, yo! You should have serenaded us!!

    Maybe next year (wherever we may be) we should have a talent competition??


  23. I can't even start to process this weekend because every time I start to think about it I get that tight feeling in my chest - you know the one. This weekend was AMAZING. I love you girls.

    Listen up, Head Twitards, and listen good! This group is too much fun to NOT do this every year. I say we go to Portland next year so that we can see the movie sights (Edward's Volvo was here! Edward's sex strut was here!) but I'll go wherever - someone suggested NYC too. Just, please don't let this be the last reunion. xoxo. Thanks for creating this magic.

  24. @TwiredJen - i'm an awesome Kazoo player. Sorry you missed it but your wedding looked BEAUTIFUL and you made a gorgeous a bride. CONGRATS,bb!!!!

    Speaking of kazoos - for those of you who have incriminating video of my mad kazoo skillz, please PLEASE do not post those videos. kthxbye.

    @Kintail & Forkspimp - that story is hysterical!!

    I'm at work madly trying to catch up on stuff or this would be a longer comment but I just wanted to say I am SO happy you guys had a good time. And thank you so much for all of you helped pitch in for the clean-up/decorating/karoake, etc.

    Myg, Gus and VitaminR70 - you have my eternal gratitude for all you did to help make this an amazing moment.

    I love you all. You ladies are the greatest group of bitches EVER. I wish I had been able to sit down with each and every one of you and chat.


  25. Also, I'm not entirely sure any of the above comment was actually English. SUPER jet-lagged... {{faceplants onto desk}}

  26. It looks like you had a lot of fun. Again. Maybe some day I'll get to actually experience this epic get-together. In the meantime, all I can do is live vicariously through the pics and stories, so just keep 'em coming ladies... I mean hos. :)

  27. Oh you Ho's had so much fun! And JJ snort-giggles ;D SNAP!

  28. Awesomesauce! I feel like I was there... well, I was there, but not when you were... sigh. If only I could have stayed on!

    Man, you guys did an awesome job reinventing the Elks Lodge! I hardly recognised it. Can't wait to scroll through the rest of your Forks posts and catch up. xx

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