It read "FWD: Exclusive Hon" but only because my phone cut off the rest of the subject line and I got all excited because I thought Twired Jen was sending me some exclusive news on Honus Honus.
Instead, she sent me something even better. I think. The JJ jury is still out on this one, actually.
What she forwarded to a bunch of us was a short clip of the Breaking Dawn "honeymoon" scene.
I have to admit that I kind of squealed a little when Edward picked Bella up and walked her over the threshold, because that's just romantic and shit and I'm pretty sure that there is no way ML would be able to do that unless I went on a serious diet and he started working out. Plus, our idea of romance is shouting into the other room "get me a drink, whore!!" So, yeah. He hates when I call him that.
Not me and ML. Obviously.
Then I sort of creamed myself over the decor, even though it's really not my style but I thought it was perfect for the island house. Seriously, I could totally picture people having massive orgies in that living room, which is exactly what I do if I was going to be an eternal, youthful hottie with more money than I knew what to do with. Not sure about the glass walls though. That would be dangerous if people were drunk. Plus, the inevitable smudges would drive me mad.
Most of all, I just stared at Edward. It's been awhile since I've honestly thought about Edward and not RPattz. I mean, that line blurred so long ago that I just have a hard time separating the two.
I'm sorry but Twilight Edward will always have a special place in my heart...
Edward is Hot, yo. With a capital H. As soon as I saw the bed in this little clip, I dredged up all those images of his beautiful, muscular back as he crumbled the bed into bits during the sex scene (I'm assuming they will keep that in, unless they want an army of enraged estrogen storming the doors of Summit Entertainment).
Holy. Shit. On. A. Stick.
But then something ruined it. At first I couldn't figure it out and I had to watch the clip about twenty more times before
Why the long face, Bella? C'mon, man, you just fucking got married to the hottest sparkly vampire ever and he's about to pile-drive your virginity into oblivion and you look like you had a bad slider at White Castle.
WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM??? Just... be happy, Bella. God dammit, he's going to BONE YOU. Pillows will be bitten and headboards crumbled and you've got a mother fucking sour puss on.
I want this movie to be good, really I do. But I have had less awkward conversations with strangers on an elevator than Bella did with her new husband. I'm really hoping the entire movie isn't going to be like that because I will definitely get kicked out of the theater on November 18th.
I'm scared, people. What do you think?