Monday, October 24, 2011

My Heart Belongs to the Violent Sports

I'm about as prissy girly-girl as you can get. I like pretty shoes and pretty skirts. Manual labor makes my eye twitch. I can't be involved in any activity that precludes four inch heels. Sure, I have the mouth of a battle-hardened sailor, but I try to look demure when I'm cursing a blue streak. It's the way of us southern belles. There is one area where my pink veneer fades. Sports.

Hockey season just started up again. I forgot how much I love this sport. I think I say that every year. I'm not very into the NHL; it's a little too tame for me. I prefer the scrappy minor leagues with the crazy team names and the fights that break out every three minutes. I always tell Mr. TK that I hate when a hockey game breaks out in the middle of a good fight.

I lose interest if there's not blood on the ice in the first period. 

We went to the season opener for the local team earlier this month. There were about four other people in the "crowd." The mascot had dingy, matted fur and looked like he had been rolled in the parking lot. A few times. He/she/it was on the ice for all of ten seconds before it tripped and took out one of the dancers. I freaking love this game.

My first love will always be college football. It's a lot less violent, but I love the rivalries and the traditions. Our schedules revolve around Saturday football from September through December. There are quite a few teams that I like and follow religiously. If you want to know the full extent of my geekiness, I e-mailed Boise State's Coach Peterson after the 2007 Fiesta Bowl and thanked him for the best motherfucking football game I'd ever seen. I nearly shit my pants when he e-mailed back. We're practically engaged now.

Naturally, being from Texas, I am a GIANT fan of the University of Texas. (Hook 'em!)  My big stress every year is trying to find new outfits to wear to the games. I can't be seen wearing the same things I wore last year. That's just unacceptable. My favorite part of the game is the band and team entrance. It's one of those things you just have to see in person — the band, the freaking huge state flag, the smoke, the fight song, the stands shaking. It's a total rush.

This isn't the best video quality, but it's really hard to take any video during the game. Trust. This is far better than anything I've ever managed to capture. 

I could write for days about how I want to marry Co-Offensive Coordinator Major Applewhite and how I know more about some of the players than I do my own friends. (That's completely normal, btw.) But I won't bore you with all of that. Er, much more than I already have.

The Texas mascot. He leads a much more cushy life than I do. 

I will hardly walk outside long enough to get the mail, but I have sat through torrential downpours to watch a Texas game. This is the South, after all, and we worship at the altar of the goal post.

 The main building tower. Behold its greatness.

I know quite a few of you are not-so-closeted college football fans. I've seen your tweets; don't try to deny it. What are your favorite teams and traditions? (Anyone who mentions Oklahoma gets their comment deleted.) I know you northerners love your hockey and I expect you to chime in as well. How do your minor leagues compare to the pros? Put your mouth guard in and let's duke it out in the comments.


  1. Aww, TK, you're like my sister from another mister! My first love is University of Wyoming Cowboy football. War Memorial stadium is my very most favorite place in the whole wide world to be. And, like you, all the fanfare at the start of a game is my favorite part - chills and goosebumps just thinking of it. I'm never happier than when I'm at a Pokes game, rockin' my brown and gold Cowboy Joe gear.
    When Texas (my 2nd fave college team) came to Laramie to play our humble (pathetic?) Cowboys 2 years ago, I shelled out 200 smackers to see the game. And even though you probably don't remember it (our teams are not really in the same league) it was one of the best games I've ever been to. YOu Texas fans were so gracious and fun to cheer with/against. All the lovely people in the stands wearing burnt orange were just awesome, even as you trounced us into the ground, as expected. So, go Pokes, and go Longhorns!!

  2. My boys played hs hockey from very early on do I love hockey?? Does jennyjerkface shit in the woods??.I love any and all hockey. Football is an ok second, and I have a pasion for UFC something about watching men pummell the snot out of each other brings happiness to my face..JS..Sports..yeah s'ok.
    TK's post fabulous.

  3. Yay TK! Yay college football! Altho I am really, really, really glad that the Pac12 opted not to take Texas 'cause that would have been just too weird. I mean, Arizona, AZ State, Utah and Colorado are stretching the "Pacific" thing to the max already.

    For me, it's Washington Husky football. I went religiously as a student - our team was so-so and we usually just got bombed at the game. (Yay Rob Weller! Inventor of the WAVE. We did it first!) But I bleed purple and gold -- esp since I've been working there for the last 11 years as well. My planting strip along the curb has a purple and gold (yellow) color scheme.

    I went to the arch-rival school as well, but it's not the same. But the rivalry made for some fun game bets with the ex! Usually their team is CRAP - altho my only foray to the Rose Bowl was to see them get their asses kicked by Oklahoma. Boo Okies! Going to one of the big bowl games was an awesome experience. If you love college football, you have to do that at least once.

    I hardly ever see a game in the stadium, but I watch religiously on TV. And there is NOTHING, NOTHING more awesome than that great overhead shot when they look down toward the East end of the stadium and you see the water and all the boats anchored up. Going to a football game by boat! Gotta love it!

    I am going to the arch-rival game next month - with the ex - so they'll be some more betting going on. UW will kick ass.

    I love Boise State too and hate how they've been screwed by the BCS, and I'm really bummed they can't wear their solid blue uniforms on their blue field anymore. Made for some weird TV, but it was cool.

    OK - true confession - I was the sports editor for my high school newspaper. Friday night lights... I was sad when my daughter was in high school and it wasn't a big deal to go to the game.

  4. Well our local minor league hockey team went belly up. I agree that there is nothing like minor league or college sports. I love me some Pro stuff as well but the minors/college are just HUNGRY, you know? They get bloody, they play with heart and don't cry when they get hurt.
    Sadly our college football team here in Fresno has sucked ass the past few years. We've had some good names that have gone on to do some greater good though. Trent Dilfer, Bernard Berrian, Lorenzo Neal are a few names. David Carr kicked ass while he was here and helped make going to the FS games kickass but he sucked as a Pro. Hell, I don't even know where he is now...his little brother isn't doing shit now for the team.
    We move to Portland this weekend and my hubs and I are pretty excited to start watching some decent football again. Ducks or Beavers is the question.

  5. Sharing the hockey pic on FB. My fav sport EVER!

  6. TK, I would never duke it out with you. Maybe buy you a drink and comment on your fantastic shoes that I could never wear, but fist to cuffs...nah. I don't mess with Texans ;)

    As for sports, I loved my Roadrunners hockey club here in AZ. They were so beyond awesome. Hopefully they will come back soon.

    My new favorite for an up close of highly toned men beating the shit out of each other is Arena Football. Love, love, love my Rattlers!

  7. I'm catching up on lost blog posts. And I am STOKED about this post!

    If there is one thing that will keep my marriage alive (besides karaoke and acceptance of each others' personal porn collections) it's college sports. Bentist and I are HUGE. HUGE college sports fans. We can't socialize on Saturdays unless it's at an establishment that will be showing the UofMich game. And now that we live on the west coast, we are having to get used to waking up early for those damn 12 o'clock games (9am PST). It's tradition in our house to have a beer completed by kick-off, so those early games really kick your ass. I, being a graduate of Temple University, am usually stuck with my game on the laptop (thank you god for ESPN3) along with three other games. No matter. GO BLUE!

    Oh...And don't get us started on college bball. I love my birthday because basketball usually starts the same weekend. March Madness rules our house. I know too much about too many players/teams.

    @Twi Twat Rot: Ducks. Unless you're Team Jacob. Then you should be Beavers. Because they're the underdog that no one really cares about. If you like winners, Yell O! :) PS join us for a Portland Twitard party once we get around to organizing it!

  8. A post about sport when I am so wrapped up in RUGBY right now, how appropriate.

    Seriously people. I only just saw the Paris Rob pics. That's how wrapped up I am.

    In case you've been living under a rock (or, umm, in America - shit, sorry, no offence) you probably know that my team, the mighty New Zealand ALL BLACKS, won the Rugby World Cup right here in my home town on Sunday night.

    This is MASSIVE. Our country lives and breathes rugby and this is the biggest of the big. I have no voice right now from screaming, crying and jumping up and down like a crazy woman on Sunday night and again at the victory parade yesterday.

    I have been intending to post on TwiKiwi about it but am too busy recovering. Oh, and looking at semi-naked All Blacks posing with the trophy. Yes that's right, semi-naked. I shall post photos, I promise...

    Until then, follow me

    Oh, and TK - love you. Love a bit of bloodshed in my sport. But you can keep your American Football with your shoulder pads. Give me some real beef on the field any day ;-)

  9. I too am a Longhorns fan. While I get the Major Applewhite thing (if for no other reason than his name!) my current love is Defensive Coordinator Manny Diaz. That man is a god!! The game against OSU (while NOT the desired final score) was masterful! Experiencing a game in DKR Memorial Stadium is like nothin' else. Soooo Texan, sooo Southern. I love it!! Texas Fight!

  10. @JonahField--Of course I remember the UW game! I always hope the UT fans are nice at away games. It's always shocking when you see ill-behaved fans from another team. (I'm looking at you, OU fans who spit at my then 13 month old baby.)

    @Double_Dippin--I don't like boxing or any other type of true fighting sport, but I love hockey. Go figure.

    @kintail--I would LOVE to see the stadium with the boats behind it! How cool!

    @Twi Twat Rot--Sucks the hockey teams failed! We used to go to some indoor soccer games & they were like hockey on turf. Actually played in the same arena, but they went under too. :(

    @Carly Fall--I've wanted to see an area game, but I haven't made it to one yet. Fail on my part.

    @TwiKiwiFifty--I did hear about the NZ team! Congrats! Rugby is def a tougher sport, but it's never caught on in the US, unfortunately.

    @Papercut--I love Manny Diaz! He is a freaking genius. I love going to the Mack Brown Women's Clinic & meeting all the asst coaches. So fun! One of my favorite pics is of me & Mad Dog. He's like 4 times my size.

  11. it ate my much for a gentle first timer commenter

    I marched 4 years in the Mississippi State University band and the 12 minute pregame fanfare was always my favorite part. Stepping out, tilting my trumpet bell 30 degrees, and blaring the first note. Still makes me giddy watching as an alumni.

    But now I have time to ring my cowbell to my hearts content! And it's long as you follow SEC regulations. At least now I can walk in the stadium with my bell in my hand and not stuffed down my pants.

  12. I'm about as interested in sports as I am in getting a tabasco enema. That being said, I played field hockey in high school. I wasn't half bad at it but I think I loved the fact that I could hit shit with a really big stick that I loved the most. So, TK, I do understand. In some way.

    @Emaily - the idea of someone trying to sneak a cowbell into a stadium had me laughing so hard I nearly snorted wine out of my nose. LOL!

  13. Fuck me. I meant @Emily, not @Emaily. I need more booze.

  14. WISCONSIN...need I say more? We don't have much to do here but play/watch sports and drink beer.

  15. Oh, TK, I feel ya, Sistah! I am an LSU alumni and there is no greater place to be than Death Valley on a Saturday night! (well, except in RobWard's bed, of course)

    Also, I am a HUGE New Orleans Saints fan. If y'all ever have the opportunity to attend a game in the Superdome, do so! The excitement, both pre game and during, is nothing short of amazing!

    Love hockey, too!

  16. 'CUSE 'CUSE 'CUSE!


    This is my game - Gaelic football. Often used to break into fights still does in the club games but in the Championship not so much anymore. Stephen Cluxton is a legend :)
    And Twikiwi - well done to the ABs!! Unfortunately Ireland didn't make it to the semis, after we beat Australia I really thought we'd go further.

  18. Well it's no secret my heart belongs to baseball and football (NFL, not college). It saddens me after the Superbowl and I have to wait for pitchers and catchers to report.

    I used to love hockey but got sick of it after spending my teenage years as a rink rat...for a while, hockey was the only college sport I would watch. Unlike most of you, I enjoy the game of hockey and started to get tired of the fights. Weird coming from me...I thrive on violence.

    College football and basketball make me want to poke my own eyeballs out with hot daggers... Sorry.

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  20. You do like violence is sports, I also like it, provides more excitement to the sport.

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