We did it! Again!!! JJ, VitaminR, Myg, LKW, yours truly.
I know some of you are probably tired of reading about Forks, but
So in no particular order, here are a few of the things I learned during the encore presentation of Twitarded Goes to FOOOORRRKKS!!!
There are bigger trees in the Hoh than the one I hugged last year. THIS one is HUGE!!!
Hunters and Twitards are not on the same schedule, but both species stay at the Forks Motel. Apparently a hunter or two got bent out of shape when some Twitards pulled into the parking lot at the crack of midnight. They weren't even loud or anything, as far as these things go. But maybe if you wanted to get up in a few hours to go shoot things, headlights and voices might have made you really pissy. Which leads me to...
It wasn't a bad thing to have some men-folk around. There was a time when I would have considered myself quite the feminist, and while I still lean heavily in this direction on most fronts, if some recently-woken-up fucktard is screeching about gettin' his guns if we don't stf up and dudes want to defend the ladyfolk, I'm totally down with it. They are also great with ladders and lathes and stuff. Thanks dudes!
I like cupcakes. I like cupcakes like Gollum likes rings. Cupcakes are the perfect storm for me - a trifecta of stuff I am allergic to and shouldn't eat (eggs, wheat, dairy), so I don't. Usually. But that doesn't mean I don't want one... For me, eating a good cupcake is like discovering the holy grail, the fountain of youth, and Atlantis all at once. I made sweet, sweet love to that cupcake with my mouth (and there was a lot of finger licking - not a molecule was wasted). If anyone has video of me eating this cupcake, I will be forced to hunt you down and kill you. Or I'll have LKW do it for me, since I have no guns and no chest freezer. You've been warned.
Not me but I think I was more the chick on the left... Vodka and cupcakes don't mix.
I like cupcakes almost as much as JJ doesn't like huckleberry. She bought some huckleberry taffy at a little store on our way out of the Hoh and popped some into her mouth the second her ass hit the seat in the mini-van. I wish I had video of her trying to choke it down; it might as well have been dog-turd flavored for all the facial contortions she did, and there was a moment where I thought she might actually vomit on my lap (it was a close call, I think.).
The ferry route beats the pants off the drive-around alternative. The I-5 can suck it.
This stop at Ruby Beach almost made the six hour drive back to Seattle worth it...
I would make a shitty event planner. Putting an event together for 100+ people when you don't have a clue in the world what you are doing is TOUGH. Thanks to everyone who helped with absolutely everything! We could not have done it without you.
We are the nicest bunch of dirty twats on the planet, and we totally baffled the officers at the Elks Lodge. I don't think they knew what to make of us, or Peenward the inflatable blow-up Edward (who was quite well endowed, natch). But we donated a good chunk of change to local causes thanks to Rotty Mama and the general kitty, and they will welcome us back with open arms [note: we are not going back].
I scare easily.
I can carry roughly my body weight in luggage, with some help. Also I am the world's shittiest packer. I used approximately 15-20% of what I lugged across the country (and back).
It all went downhill so fast from here...
When you are in La Push (or near La Push, since I also learned that you can't actually go to La Push beach), everything you say sounds better when you end it with "baby."
First Beach, baby. In my office, baby. Win! Baby.
Speaking of La Push (baby), you can't take any sand or rocks or anything from the beach. Which I think I knew at some point, but of course I really really REALLY wanted a rock and/or some sand to take home with me. Like everyone else who has ever been there, I started to rationalize that if I just took a little sand or one rock, it wouldn't matter... And then LKW started making references to The Brady Bunch and the tiki that Greg should never have taken from Hawaii, and I decided against filching anything...
If we all lived in Forks - permanently - and I saw you all around town all the time, I would still be incapable of getting names straight and remembering all of them. Forget the double whammy of online name vs. irl name - I just could not do it. Back when Mr. Snarky and I started dating, he introduced me to so many people that eventually I was forced to admit defeat. If I had my way, everyone would have their name tattooed on their forehead in 24-point font at birth. It wouldn't look weird if we all did it, and it would keep that kid you named "Emily" after your great-aunt from changing her name to Kandii or Khristal or something when she runs away to join the stripper circus.
Lastly, not to get too weighty here, I think I learned that this is my legacy. I'm [probably] not going to cure cancer, invent some amazing gadget that revolutionizes the world, or leave an enormous endowment to carry my name on... But I look around, and I see all the amazing friendships that have come from our nutty blog, and how that has changed people and made them happy and laugh and connect with people in a way they might not have previously thought possible, and it's enough.
My friends are my estate.- Emily Dickinson