Thursday, October 27, 2011

When Did I Become A Slave To Technology?

When I started working at my current job back in 1997, I barely had a computer to use. I think I shared a stupid PC with a few other people. And forget email. I actually had to call people. {{shivers}} I remember the day I got my very own Mac. Turns out, that day changed my life. And not long after that, I got myself a boring old cell phone. Back then, it was the best thing since sliced fucking bread. I could actually call someone from anywhere! Holy shit!


I think it was sometime last year when I realized I just might be a technology addict. And a slave to Apple. I would sell my vagina to a vampire for just about anything with the Apple name attached. Does that make me an iSlut? I currently operate on two iMacs (one at home, one at work), an iPad, an iPod and an iPhone (in fact my brand new 4s will be waiting for me tomorrow when I get home from work!) When I got the email saying the new phone had shipped, I gasped. My hubs, alarmed, asked what was wrong. I told him my new phone shipped. He shook his head and rolled his eyes, which seems to happen an awful lot lately.

Now... I like 'now' much better!

I am never without access to the interwebs -- unless, of course, Mr. Latchkey drags my lazy ass into the middle of nowhere to shoot at view the wildlife. I'm honestly not sure I could survive with no technology. I'm ridiculously excited that my new iPhone has mobile hotspot capabilities so I can use my iPad in a non wi-fi location. It's the little things that get me excited these days. I'm a sad little person...

But did you ever stop and think about what life as a Twilight fan would be like without all this new-fangled technology? We're so spoiled in this day and age... One click of a button and you're looking at some smoking hot picture of RPattz taken just seconds before.


Can you imagine a world with no Smartphones? No Twitter? No Facebook? No email? No blogs? *gasp* Would we have all found each other? Most likely not. Can you imagine no YouTube? No Biel videos? No sneak peeks and extended scenes before the movies are even released? It makes me want to throw myself on the floor, kicking and screaming like a kid with no candy.

What if the Internet never existed? I guess I would have spent my time curled in the fetal position in a forest somewhere. Can you imagine a world with no Google Image Search? Would we be reduced to buying Tiger Beat and BOP magazines along side the tweens? I shudder at the thought. Personally, I like to keep my Rob-porn confined to a secret folder on my computer which may or may not be labeled "untitled".

It would pain me to purchase this JUST for a picture of RPattz. Too much Jonas going on.

So what would you miss most if it were all gone tomorrow? Would it be the leaked stills? The paparazzi shots? The witty banter? I think I'd miss you guys most of all...


  1. I had to explain pagers to my 16 year old daughter. "So it's sort of like only being able to text a number?" "Yeah, but you needed a landline to do it." "What's a landline?" :facepalm:

    I didn't have a cell phone until 2006 and even then it was a prepaid that I bought at the grocery store. Then my office bought me an iPhone in 2009 and my mind was officially blown. It's all I use at home most of the time and I feel like a cave woman when I have to use the desktop.

    My mom still calls me to Google stuff for her even though she has a computer and Internet access. I don't even know how she finds porn when she needs it, but I'm damn glad she doesn't make me help. Damn glad.

  2. Hands down, no question, I would miss all of you the most! The leaked pics, hot vids and Rob porn are like the cherry on top of a hot fudge sundae... nice to have but not why I drove 15 minutes across town & paid good money for. I <3 all you crazy, pervy, tech obsessed iSluts more than words can say.

  3. I would miss, lurking, trolling and de-friending, oh my! And you tit-gypsies too.

    Every year I teach little baby nursing students a new skill, and to aid their learning we videotape them, and every year some shiny faced 18 year old that still reeks of diaper paste, raises their hand to ask me what a VHS tape is. So cute- Where's the vomit emoticon?

  4. Ah, the old iMac. Or as my sister used to call them, Fisher Price computers. That's why I looooove Apple. Completely moron-proof. RIP Steve *sniffle*

    I wouldn't be half the fucking Internet-addicted lunatic I am today without Twilight, and I wouldn't want it any other way. I'm completely mystified by Twitter but I'd go crazy not being able to check up on you crazy twat waffles and my daily dose of laughing my ass off. Looking up schmexy Rob pics for my spank bank without having to fire up a stupid real computer is just a bonus. An awesome bonus... ;)

  5. @Nifer: 18 year olds don't know what a VHS is?! I feel ancient...and I'm only 26 dammit. This sucks.

  6. I sat in a conference session today, iPad linked to my iPhone hotspot, hanging on twitter and emailing my twi-buddies. In the other hand I was work emailing with my (company) blackberry.

    I am a technology slut. And proud of it. EMBRACE IT!

  7. If I didn't have internet, I'd probably be forced to spend more time with my family. ;)

  8. @Nifer--I had to explain what an 8 track was to my son the other day. Talk about feeling ancient. Remember when you couldn't rewind, fast forward or repeat a song? Yeah. Let's not talk about it anymore.

    I think the technology I'm most grateful for is JJ's autocorrect. It's brought so much joy to my life.

  9. I want to say Robward, but the truth is, without you h00rs, my addiction would never have a chance.

    I'm thankful for all of you for your support & enabeling! I'm thankful for the technology that brought us all together!

  10. I fought getting a smart phone (and a Lap top for that matte) for some time but the hubs decided last year we should get them. I think its one of his biggest regrets, cause I am always online, lurking, facebooking, searching for the pretty and reading FF updates.

    The bestest part for me is the connection with all you.

  11. I would miss all of you!

    I would have to do a sit down protest at City Hall just so I could be on TV and spread the word. Won't you join me? LOL

  12. I am admittedly not tech-savvy, but I think that considering the fact that my first mobile phone was hard-wired into a used car that I bought (remember those???), I've come a loooong way.

  13. Holy Shit STY you had one of those "Car Phones" cool!
    I am a big techno geek, Hubs keeps talking about buying big plot of land and moving to the interior of BC. My challenge is to figure out how to get internet access on said plot of land.

  14. You guys are fun, but I'd miss FanFiction. When I first found FanFiction I had to look up what "slash" was and I ran into the history of FanFiction (The first known slash fic was about Kirk and Spock people... UGH!). Fans actually created "fanzines" (photocopied or mimographed newsletters they typed on a typewriter) and people had to pay for a subscription to get fan news. Sometimes they would include a new chapter of fanfiction. Can you imagine having to wait for your postman to come to the door to deliver a new chapter of the ONE STORY some dweeb decided to serialize in his "fanzine"???

    Last month there was a huge power outage here in SoCal. I drug out my wired emergency landline phone since the wireless one was dead. I asked the kids to call their grandma to see if the power was out there too. They actually had to ask me how to use the phone. The conversation went something like this, "Where is the button to turn it on?" "You just pick it up and it's on." "Oh, wow. And how do you know who is calling?" "There is no caller ID on this phone." "Why?"

  15. I had to survive being without instant internet access during the #Forks2011 trip. I wasn't prepared to use the data connection via my cellphone (UK call/data charges suck!), so I was reduced to using my iPod Touch whenever I was within free WiFi range. To say that gave me palpitations would be an understatement...

    That said, without my handy little Apple device I would have been completely bereft! So gimme an iPod Touch any day!

    I almost bought an iPad while I was in the US. Goddammit, I was waiting for MrCC to give me the nod, but it arrived too late. Lord only knows why I waited for his input...

    wv: phautt - yeah, that's exactly how I feel right now...

    CC x

  16. Wow, you're so right. I've never thought about this. I remember the days of Bop & Big Bopper. I have no idea how I'd get through the work day without twitter, google image searches, blogs and all that good stuff. I wonder, would Rob still be as famous as he is though, without it? I wonder if he wishes it was 1990 again...

  17. My only regret is that the internet wasn't around back in the (cough)60's(cough) cause it would have made Beatlemania a hell of a lot more fun. Tiger Beat and its ilk was pretty much it. I think it's pretty funny that it still exists.

    And I would have had an outlet for my fan fiction... besides those spiral notebooks we passed around in English class...

    WV - excon. I beg your pardon?

  18. I tried to explain to a much younger co-worker about making mix-tapes from the radio once. About how you would have to sit there for hours upon hours listening to a crappy radio station waiting for the song to come on and how people who could time it perfectly so the song ended just before the DJ came on were fucking geniuses. I was not one of them. My mix-tapes inevitably always had the first two seconds or the last two seconds cut off from each song.

    Now all I have to do is drag and drop on my computer and voila! I have an awesome playlist.

    Anyway, I cannot live without technology. I am most definitely, unequivocally addicted and in love with it. A few years ago when I went to the Catskills and had no internet/phone service? DEVASTATING.

    I would miss all of you so much. And pictures of beardy Rob.

  19. I am tech-addicted, but I have never and will never own a Mac. PC all the way.

    Remember all of those AOL internet cds you'd get in the mail? God, those things were horrible. I do miss AIM a little, though. It made college worth it. And I was was on board with facebook when it was still only for COLLEGE students. In fact, it was still only for EAST COAST colleges! Now my G-ma has a facebook account. ...Oh how things change.

    Thanks, technology. I need you for porn, fanfic, and sometimes school/work-related things. But mostly porn. Thank you.

  20. I, too, am an iSlut and I'm not ashamed!

    I would miss fanfiction the most. Without it, my house might be clean, my child might be well-fed, my life might be more full - the list could go on and on....

  21. This has caught me in a weepy mood. In fact, I have tears thinking about what if I never met any of you and/or if this all went away tomorrow. I can't even imagine my life now without all of you. You are my family now.


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