Monday, May 21, 2012

...And the Circle of Weird is Complete: Kristen Stewart Reads From 50 Shades of Grey.

I saw enough weirded-out people on Twitter commenting on this video earlier today, but I am sure some of you will still want to...express yourselves in the comments. Seriously - Kristen Stewart reading from 50 Shades of Grey? It's like the Nth most-deepest level in Inception. Or maybe just the third one. Either way, someone tip my chair over already!


...aaand the Circle of Weird is complete. At least until Rob's publicist isn't looking and someone slips a copy into his hands one day soon.

Thoughts???

And for added entertainment, here is Gilbert Gottfried reading 50 Shades. It is...really something. You won't be able to un-hear this once it has been heard. Don't say I didn't warn you.

47 comments:

  1. This was awesome..and GG reading it was the worst. You were right it cannot be undone. I wonder if they knew it was first written as an Edward/Bella ff.

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  2. I thought it was great, (SWATH cast, NOT GG!) and Charlize really had fun with it. I wonder if anyone has told her that her name has been kicked around for Mrs. Robinson? I've seen Chris's name mentioned for Christain, but I'm not sold on that one...

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    1. Has Charlize always been so...randy or is that a newer thing? She's like all cougared out anymore lol...

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  3. Ellen did a reading for it too. Funny!

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    1. Ellen reading was hysterical, too! Loved her props... I don't think we could embed that vid so we just mentioned it with a link. Maybe. I forget because it happened more than thirty seconds ago.

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    2. Okay, now Selena Gomez did a spoof. I think it is the end of the world.

      http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/5c061dfb20/fifty-shades-of-blue-with-selena-gomez?rel=player

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  4. Will I be banned from here if I said I would buy the audiobook if GG did read it? You all put up with my Bolton fixation..what's one more? :)

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    1. LOL according to my local library there is! Sadly, Gilbert isn't the one to read it...there went that idea.

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    2. ORLY?! And I can get this at the library?! My commute would never be the same, that's for sure.

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    3. Did you see Ryan Seacrest talking to Ian Somerhalder about Ian wanting the part of Fifty (which I'm on board with) and Ryan admitting he's listening to it on tape and he left it going during the Red Room when he valeted? Hilarious! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUgz60174jo

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  5. I think I just peed myself laughing!

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    1. Even Mr. Snarky cracked up over the GG vid! No word on whether there was pee involved or not...

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  6. Too bad there is no Twitarded reunion this year; we could make our own audio recording. Of MOTU. (Don't look at me like that - I know hundreds of you have a pdf copy of it.) It's just not the same without Edward and Bella.

    Oh - and with sound effects! I know a couple of MOTU fans who bought riding crops at the western store in Pt. Angeles last year.(You know who you are)

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    1. Some people are actually going to Seattle/Forks this year, just not us. Maybe they'll take requests. : )

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  7. Ok - Am I the only one that thinks this is just fabulous? Hello! When I was reading MOTU, I was envisioning Kristen's voice. And yes, I have a crush on Kristen's voice. There, I said it.

    It is bizarre that this has almost come full circle..full circle being if she actually starred in the movie opposite Rob. But seriously, I love it. I'd pay to hear her read more. I would. And I don't think she's read it, but I think she's REALLY EFFING CURIOUS now. That girl is kinky. Trust me. Ok.....I may or may not be getting my facts from Robsten FF, but the girl has a wild side.

    Done rambling.

    xo J

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    1. I may or may not be getting my facts from Robsten FF - lmao!

      I think she will probably break down and read it as some point - she might be a little young to embrace her inner kink but that could definitely speed the process!

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  8. i can't bring myself to read this. i mean seriously, i was too scared to read it when it was still FF. but that vid of the SWATH cast kiiiilllled me. SO FUNNY. and i love Kristen's reaction. you know she's gonna be reading that shizz to Rob now.

    peace!
    -kg

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    1. If I had to choose between the two (and admittedly have not re-read this as 50 Shades), I'd still go for the ff - sorry, but I don't think I could ever get over "Anastasia and Christian" lol...

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  9. GG was awesome!! It's read the way it should be! I love Kristen talking about people reading on the plane!! HAHAHAHAHA!!! Still hate ELJ, though.

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    1. Well, she probably has spent more time than most on planes in the last few years - I am sure she has seen some shit lol...

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  10. Wow. I think Kristen is lying when she says she has never read a word of fan fic. And I do not know who GG is, so skipped that video rather than have it mess with my mind.
    But the only tiny thing I can add to the comments above is that I was getting my hair cut yesterday and the woman who does it (her brother in law is Josh Charles, from The Good Wife and she is even more addicted to movies and TV than I am, and almost as obsessed with Twilight). Anyway, she just read the two Fifty books. She said that the movie should have two unknowns. Anybody with a past or other associations will ruin it....I agree.
    Tho I wouldn't mind if they let Catherine Hardwicke (stop screaming at me) pick the man because she hit a home run with Rob. And he never looked better than in Twilight either.

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  11. Omg, now I've heard everthing - the Aflac duck reading Fifty Shades. LMAO!

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  12. I can't even with this. I just.....GAH, I just can't.

    But then, you already know this.

    Before everyone loses their shit...I DON'T HATE FSoG or MOtU. I am motherfucking SWITZERLAND on the issue.

    But I will go on record saying that I liked they entirety of this clusterfuck MUCH MUCH more when it was our "dirty little secret". The hype of it all is so out of proportion to this "book's" (term used loosely since we all know it was originally free Fanfiction) contribution to the literary world in general. And I think, if asked, the author would probably agree with me.

    Conversely, SQuID/ELJames/Erika is laughing her ass off all the way to the bank and I cannot reliably say that I wouldn't have done the exact same thing. ;-)

    MC

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  13. Hahahaha - loved the SWATH video. And Kristen saying "happy trail" and knowing we use that term often for her boyfriend was totes #embarrassing.

    Yes, British accents are the best for "erotica". I was the designated Penthouse Letters reader in college, and always did it in a Britsh accent, since it sounded WAY funnier that way.

    P.S. Would someone be so kind as to send me the MOTU pdf? I really want to read this thing with "Edward and Bella" as the leads. rpatzb@gmail.com, puhlease!!!!

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    1. Well, shit - now I might be a little embarrassed, too. But just a little. I'll get over it. : )

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  14. Aaaaaaaaaaamazing. Oh god....GG reading was the most disturbing and hilarious. I can totally see GG grabbing some panties and huffing them. But I would probably call on the proper authorities, not so much my Inner Goddess.

    SWATH was awesome, though! The full circleness of it is a little disturbing with KStew reading it aloud, but I'm pretty sure Charlize was drunk, and that made it a billion times awesomer.

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  15. OMFG!Dying right now! Everytime my s/o tries to talk dirty to me now I will always hear Gilbert's voice! Thanks for that!!

    p.s: listened to this on my kindle while on the bus and I totally looked like an idiot as I tried to stifle my laughing.Old lady looked like she was going to offer me one of her crazy-pills.

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    1. Sorry. That may require your own RX for crazy pills lol...

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    2. Based on experience, it's just better to start guffawing like a mad-woman on the bus. If you try to stifle it, you look like you may shit yourself and that concerns people. :)

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  16. Josh Horowitz is the greatest though isn't he? He always gets people in the most forgiving, playful moods and it's a joy to see them that way..As for Kristen reading FF...ew, imagine reading that stuff knowing the writer had your face, hair, body, stammers, Converse, hoodie in mind when it was written...

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    1. If I was Kristen that thought would totally have me yelling TURPENTINE!

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    2. haha someone's been reading the submissive/the Dominant

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  17. Given the nature of some of the jokes Rob told during various Twilight promo interviews (glitter lube, grotesque sex toys with his face) I can't help but think that he would find the MOTU version of Edward(a fucked up-megalomaniac-sex-freak-with-mommy-issues), hilarious, and a much more interesting character than preternaturally perfect Twilight Edward.

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    1. Rob also said (in the GQ interview, I think?) that he had looked at/read some fic soooo there you go!

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  18. Well shit Blogger won't let me reply to any more comments...

    was it something I said???

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  19. Charlize Theron is amazeballs and incredibly funny. I do think KStew had a really good sense of humor about it.

    I want to somehow download the Gilbert Gottfried video into my phone and make that alarm every morning. I guarantee you I would never EVER be late for work again.

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  20. OMFG, I finally got to watch GG and I'm dying - love the women's expressions! bwahahahahahahaha

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  21. Honestly, anyone is better than the chick who reads the audiobook.

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  22. I LOVE FIFTY SHADES! I never did see the similarities between FSoG & Twilight though. I also never read the FF version. SO there you have it. :-) Can't wait to watch this video on my phone!

    ~Amers425

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  23. I can't get the duck out of my head now. Ugh! Ellen's reading was really funny too. When is Rob going to read it???

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  24. Does anyone know where there might be a link that's available to viewers outside of North America? Everywhere I have seen this video embedded, I can't view it and I really want to!

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  25. TwiKiwiFifty - You just asked my question!! I'm in Canada and those MTV bastards won't let me watch this clip anywhere...I've searched other sites and YouTube only to be blocked because of my "region"!! Scum suckers!!

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  26. JoliBijoux@aol.comMay 25, 2012 at 1:14 PM

    Original Edward with the Sex Hair will always be my Fifty....period.

    I had a tragic computer meltdown a while back and a certain MotU pdf had NOT been backed up....Fuck me and not in the good way.

    Can anyone help a Twitard out here?

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