Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Beautiful Bastard is out today!

Cross-posted at Blogwaffles, too!

Guess what's out in stores today, people?
WTF is he doing with his sleeve and why can't I stop staring at it? Because UNGF.
That's right, the original Ficward, Beautiful Bastard, is here! In a real, live legal book that you can go buy and hold in your hands and everything! In fact, you should go buy it right now!

Or, walk right into your local book store and buy it there!

Seriously, folks, back in 2010 when I first got to the Twilight fandom, I never would have fathomed the day when all these fan fiction stories would be making actual paid writers out of fic authors. But it happened. Boy, did it happen. And now, here we are with our very own Beautiful Bastard out in stores today.

I think many of you reading this have read the original fic The Office by Tby789, back when it was around. For those of you who haven't read it and are curious about Beautiful Bastard, I can sum it up like this:

A strong young woman works for a gorgeous asshole at a big corporate firm. They can't stand each other, but they are desperately attracted to one another. A lot of fucking happens, but not just your run-of-the-mill wanky, boring amateurish fucking. Oh no, no, no.

Think of it this way--have you ever been super pissed off at your significant other, and then you get into a wicked argument and in the  middle of it think, "God damn, he (or she, as the case may be,) is so hot when he's angry?" And then you end up having sex on the kitchen table, in spite of how pissed off you are? And then when it's over, you're all, "Damn, I can't believe I just had sex with you, you bastard--I'm still pissed off that you put the potato masher in the wrong drawer. You don't live here all by yourself, you know."

Wait, that doesn't happen to you? It's just me? Hmm.

Well, it doesn't matter, because Beautiful Bastard is much hotter than that, and there are no potato mashers involved. Anywhere.
potatoe masher
This object does not appear anywhere in Beautiful Bastard.

Lots of writers write sex scenes. Fic writers write lemons. We all love a good lemon, right? Well, the thing that made Christina and Lauren such well-loved authors of fic is that those two can REALLY write sex scenes. And believe it or not, all that fantasy-indulging sex has a purpose--a point. Not just to titillate you, dear readers. There's a story here, between two strong-willed characters who find each other, fuck each other, and come to love each other in spite of themselves. But this ain't no schmaltzy two-bit romance, either. It's smart. It's funny. It indulges all the right emotional fantasies as well as the sexual ones. It's tongue-in-cheek, and it's tongue in other better places as well.

What I'm saying is, it's all that and a trip to the La Perla dressing room.

For those of you who have read The Office, let me tell you, Beautiful Bastard does a masterful job of keeping the spirit of The Office alive and well, yet it also updates and polishes it in ways that you'll definitely appreciate. It's been revised so there are plenty of new things to discover. The writing is as smart as ever and it's still funny. There are parts of this where you're going to literally LOL right before you gasp at how smutty something is, so don't read it at work. Okay, you can read it at work if you work from home or in the adult industry.

But trust me when I say, you will want to read it. Over and over again.

Tell me in the comments, did you order your copy of Beautiful Bastard yet? Did you read it? What other fic-turned-books have you read? What are you hoping makes the leap next?

Talk to me, people.



  1. And... I have no idea how I managed to eff up the fonts on this post. Blogger, don't ever change.

  2. Is the book a worldwide release?

  3. Erm... I actually have no idea! Wish I knew...

    But I will definitely be buying this. In hardback. Although I may have to do some creative editing to the cover. I'm not crafty, but this seems like proper motivation to break out some pics of Rob, scissors, and a glue-stick.

  4. Hi Netti - I don't know if the book is a worldwide release yet, but I know you can get it on iTunes in the UK. I know that rights have been sold to other countries, but not sure when it will be released. If you're on Twitter, you can ask @BeautifulBastrd (not a typo) and probably get a sense of that.

  5. Haha Snarkier- yes im thinking a cosmopolis Rob for the cover. Thanks Myg i might try to order it online, I'm in Australia (not Adelaide boohoo, Sydney) and it wasn't in bookshops yesterday.

  6. I totally have it on the kindle. I'm waiting for down time to read it, which might not be until March...But he'll be waiting.

  7. I wondered what happened with that fic. It just kinda disappeared, like POOF! Thanks, Im excited!

  8. Downloaded it but haven't read the original fan fic as I was a non-Twitard then. Does anyone have the original & care to share, pretty please with Edward on top or bottom....your choice?!?

    My email addy is JoliBijoux@aol.com .


  9. I think you can find The Office as a pdf if you google it, Joli, but if you have the book, I'd say go on and read the book. It's much tighter (twhs)!

  10. Ah yes..........The Office popped my fanfic cherry. I will forever be greatful to that beautiful bastard!!!! Must get my copy so I can revisit that sexy beast.;)

    Thanks for the heads up, Ladies!

    1. Most definitely the hottest fan fic, next to Master of the Universe. Gawd, this was the beginning of a very hot and steamy relationship with some hot and steamy fictional characters, whom I all pictured as our favorite sexy Rob. I miss the 'virginal' days of reading them for the first time, blushing, giggling, hiding under the covers at 2 in the morning to find out what happens next..........love the first times :-) And the fact these set the gateway for 50 Shades :-)

  11. i am going to get my hands on it ASAP this time because i wasn't lucky enough to read that fic when it still was on the net. by the time i realized how great it was from others' comments The Office has been pulled down and i never read a word form it:)

  12. i wish they could use at least Rob's amazing lips picture on that cover..lol

  13. I read BB (eBook) last week and LOVED it! Good work Christina & Lauren xxxx

  14. This site is craziness but, I love it. I don't see a contact listed anywhere. I am an aspiring author building a platformand anI would love to pick your brain. I write everything fantasy and would love to chat. This is so great!!!!

  15. Where has everyone gone, what's happened to Blogwaffles?

  16. i miss you guys :( been coming here for years and now you're gone. wahhhh

  17. Where did all the Twitards and blogwaffles go?

  18. Well either the zombies got 'em or they're in that famous freezer in Maine!

  19. Hi Ladies!

    I'm leaving for Romania in a few days and I have BB with me for my reading "pleasure"!!! Can't wait........."The Office" was first fanfic and can't wait to revisit this WONDERFUL story.:)

    Miss you guys tremendously! Will we ever see another post??


  20. How could all of you disappear at the same time? Did the wedding gremlins abscond with you? A moose attack? As far as I know, NJ is still there....hmm, might have to start organizing a search party....no, wait! Vamps are real and you have all been turned for outing them and you're all still newborns so can't stop breaking keyboards when you try to post anything, I'm right,aren't I? Miss you guys, feels like I've lost some favorite family members....if you could just say hi? we're still on planet earth?

  21. Ok, we all realise now that you've fucked off and Twitarded is no more. But a 'so long and thanks for all the fish' post would be great.
    No pressure!.............

  22. @Anon - you are right and I'm going to work on it. (See? Now I wrote it here and it's quasi-official so I have to do it and not just worry the idea of it like a loose tooth for months and months and months...)
    [Um I just have to figure out how to log back in, apparently, since Blogger doesn't seem to want to recognize me...]

  23. This makes me so sad. You guys were my favourite bloggers for so long, and I miss your posts SOOOO much. :'(

  24. Ooh that is such a tease STY! Am all excited now. Could you maybe include something about 'that' ad with the Precious in it?! Anonymous who posted before otherwise (un)known as Twirish

  25. come back sty and jj!!!

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