Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Coconut Oil is the New Black

Hello, ladies (and the occasional gent)! You're all looking lovely this evening. I  thought it was high time we do another beauty post. I haven't been seventeen in...a while and my body is none too pleased with it. Long gone are the days where I could eat Taco Bell without grave repercussions. My knees and ankles are better weather forecasters than a meteorologist. Welcome to a world where you can throw out you back opening a jar of applesauce. Thinking about collapsing into bed without removing my makeup? Better be prepared to have a face transplant in the morning. I have vague memories of some decrepit old people trying to warn me about this when I was a nubile young thing. It's worth noting that I am now older than those decrepit old people. But I digress...



Some time ago, I fell down the rabbit hole of Pinterest. I have a touch of CDO it's like OCD, but with the letters in alphabetical order as God intended. I mean, this website is basically the internet sorted into an orderly fashion. How is that not the best thing ever? Like a veritable Ponce de Leon, I've been scouring the web for the Fountain of Youth. My face has been looking older and more tired lately, and I refuse to accept that it's because I'm older and more tired. I've seen quite a few articles and blog posts extoling the virtues of coconut oil as a cleanser. This defies all logic since I'm trying to REMOVE the oil from my face. Well, I got desperate enough to try it, and I fully expected to have to call in the crew who cleaned up after the Exxon Valdez spill to mop up my skin.



SPOILER ALERT: Nothing but good things happened. All I did was smear it on my skin and wipe it off with a damp cloth. That's it. BAM. I've always had these little bumpy things on my face (probably not the dermatological term) that I'm sure no one else can see, but I've spent a lot of time and money trying to exfoliate them out of existence. After one time of using the oil, they were gone. Apparently all I needed to do was fill up my pores with good oil and my problem was solved. My skin tone has evened out. I thought I had rosacea for the longest time (Thanks, drug company commercials.), but now my skin is just a vampirac white. I have had ZERO breakouts, which is a damn miracle all by itself. Can I just take a moment to say how unfair it is to battle wrinkles AND acne at the same time? Pick a struggle, skin.

I really don't know what to do with myself since my skin maintenance routine has gone from six steps down to one. I'm recommending it to all of my friends and neighbors. Most of them have been receptive, but are few were all "How did you get in my house again? I thought I changed the locks." It might be overly dramatic to call this a miracle cure, but I can tell you five cents worth of coconut oil has replaced eye makeup remover, cleanser, exfoliant, a mask, moisturizer, and eye cream. I might try filling the swimming pool with it next, Cocoon style.

Has anyone else tried this, or anything similar?

36 comments:

  1. Out of the pantry and into the medicine cabinet! I will definitely be trying this - my skin hates EVERYTHING and one of the few cleansers I've been able to use without my skin freaking out is off the market (thanks, Aubrey Organics, for reformulating everything!) and I was in a tizzy trying to figure out an alternate.

    That said, in the winter, I have used DHC cleansing oil, and I get the whole "how can I slather my face with oil?!"-panic - it was a leap of faith. I have more breakouts now than when I was a teen - mixed in with dry & flaky spots - lovely!

    Bonus? We'll smell delicious.

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  2. I hope I don't want to eat my own face.

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    1. I always want to eat your face. I mean....hi?

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  3. Replies
    1. Try it & report back! I'm curious to see what everyone else's experience is. Basically I'm experimenting on you.

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    2. Good call. Let the others try it first. ;-)

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  4. Definitely going to try this, coconut oil is pretty amazing stuff! I use it for a lot of other things, never tried it as a cleanser though, it sounds a bit scary...but I'm going to trust you!

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    1. In the twilight of your life, I think you'll look back & realize trusting me was where it all started to go wrong... :)

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    2. Haha, I think it all started going wrong many, many years ago! I'm just waiting for things to start going right!

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  5. I think I'll try this too. Wait, you don't even use a cleanser? It is kind of scary, but what the heck???

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    1. All your friends are doing it.

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    2. Okay, I did it last night and it all seems good. It felt amazing and I LOVE coconut so the smell is divine. I'll try it for a while and see how it goes. How long did it take to notice results?

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    3. I saw results the first day, but I was really sold after about the 5th.

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  6. Added it to my shopping list...

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  7. I don't know, the thought of smearing oil scares the absolute hell out of me...

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  8. Jesus...What don't I use Coconut Oil for? Besides cooking with it, I've been using it on my face parts (with similar results!), my hair parts (best conditioner I've found), and my body parts (ashy no more!). I can't get behind the oil pulling thing, though. That shit is GROSS.

    Did I mention that you couldn't pay me to eat raw coconut?

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    1. I'm going to try it on my hair next. I've been making my own salt scrub with it for ages.

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  9. What's next, people smearing this stuff on their who-ha to make it look brand new? Actually....... *runs to kitchen and then to the bathroom*

    PS- SO GLAD YOU'RE ALL BACK!!!

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    1. Um, I kinda wondered the same thing. If this shit is so great everywhere else, why not slather the bits with it, ya know?

      Someone else should try this out and let me know what happens...

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    2. Yeah I'm not so sure I want a greasy, oily downstairs area. I'll pass but you two let me know how that goes. ;)

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    3. Not sure I want to smell like a macaroon....

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  10. OK, I'll try it on my ever-so-glam pregnancy back-ne. If coconut oil will make that go away, I will be eternally happy!

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  11. Now I have to find coconut oil here in lard heavy South Carolina. Oh joy! But hey, if it will remove my stubborn eye make up and get rid of my middle age breakouts (hate that shit!), I am all in. Thanks!

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  12. Well hello there!

    I loved using coconut oil all over my face (that sounds like every man's porn fantasy) and then someone scared me by letting me know it was highly comedogenic - pore clogging. So now I just use it on my eyes and body.

    I want to go back to being unafraid. Any one find it causes blackheads??

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  13. How did I not even know that this post was live? I feel like failure. Anyway, I tried the coconut oil on my face and immediately got 4 zits the size of Ur Anus. Maybe it wasn't the coconut oil, since I'm going through such bad acne in middle age it makes me long for 7th grade again. I did use it in my hair, which was lovely. I used it as a moisturizer on my arms, legs and WOW. Amazing. But face? I sort of want to try it again but am a wee bit terrified. Anybody else have this issue?

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  14. I've been using coconut oil as a face (and body) moisturizer for about eighteen months and I LOVE IT. I'm also happy not to be rubbing chemicals into my skin, especially while I was pregnant. Also mix it with baking soda for aluminum-free deodorant. And I cook with it. And rub it into my rough feet. And cure my babies' diaper rash and teething rash and hand-foot-and-mouth rash with it. It's magical.

    Good to see you blogging again, TK. Very good.

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  15. Oh and screw aging. The fine lines are coming up fast and suddenly my normal makeup routine makes me look like a ragged old crackwhore instead of a dewy-faced teen. It might be the combination of three-year-old and three-month-old (can I blame them)? Or I'm old. Nope, can't be that *plucks gray hairs*

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  16. I'll have to try this soon. What is your recipe for the salt scrub?

    So glad to see all your names again!

    P.S. Is anyone else addicted to Outlander yet?

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    1. Soooooo late replying. "Recipe" is not the word I would use. I just scoop out some oil & add kosher salt (or other salts/sugar) until I like the consistency. Maybe almost 1:1 ratio?

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  17. Imma give this a try. This damn Texas humidity is killing me!

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  18. Hey, just went to read Going Down from the fanfic rec list and the link isn't working. Is it still available, TexasKatherine?

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  19. I've been using coconut oil for about two years now. I cook with it, eat a spoonful here and there and use it as moisturizer, I've never thought to use it as a cleanser. Read about mixing it with baking soda (another miracle substance) but never tried it. Hopefully my little bumps will go away and instead of being told I look 23 I'll be told I look 13, like I feel and act!!!

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  20. so the jar of white solid coconut oil? Gonna go to Trader Joe's & get some, even though I don't grocery shop - cuz I Fn hate the grocery store

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