Friday, May 8, 2009

Are YOU a Twilaholic??? Take The Test!

It may have been when I first came across TwiCrack Addict's super-cracktastic-uber-blog that it first occurred to me how similar Twilight addiction is to all those other, less-openly-blogged-about and not-as-entertaining addictions are... TCA called it what it was! And we flocked to her in droves for our daily fix... Still do! Thinking about how addicted we all are to Twilight and how it relates to other addictions, I came up with this handy-dandy test for everyone to take...

Note: This is a barely-edited copy of a commonly-used quiz that is actually supposed to help people who drink scotch for breakfast decide if maybe it's time to get some help, and it was ridiculously easy to make the switch from "alcohol addict" to "Twilight addict" - just sayin'! Oh and we are total enablers here at Twitarded. Drink up!


We decided to try and face up to what Twilight had done to us. Here are some of the questions we tried to answer honestly. If we answered YES to four or more questions, we were in deep trouble with our Twilight obsession. See how you do! Remember, there is no disgrace in facing up to the fact that you have a problem.

Answer YES or NO to the following questions [sorry but the yes/no tabulation will have to be done manually - I'm a twitard not a techie]:

1 - Have you ever decided to stop watching, reading and blogging about Twilight for a week or so, but only lasted for a couple of days?
We at Twitarded have made all kinds of promises to ourselves and to our families. We could not keep them. We're ok with that.
Yes No

2 - Do you wish people would mind their own business about your Twilight obsession-- stop telling you what to do?

At Twitarded, we do not tell anyone to do anything (except occasionally to read some really awesome Twiporn and I stand by that decision). We just talk about our own Twilight addiction. No judging here! Although I will harangue you if you won't read the book when I want you to (sorry Sister Snarky and TechnoBitch! But now you thank me, right? Right?!)
Yes No

3 - Have you ever switched from one method of feeding your Twilight addiction to another in the hope that this would keep you from getting caught doing something Twilight-related again?

We tried all kinds of ways. Switch from re-reading Twilight to re-reading The Directors Notebook. Book to movie watching--maybe just the commentary--that hardly even counts... Then the dirty fanfic. Trying different blogs. You name it, we tried it. But if we read anything Twilight related, eventually our S/Os noticed. Busted!
Yes No

4 - Have you had to have an eye-opener upon awakening during the past year? A Twilight eye-opener, that is: checked your fave blog [it's Twitarded, right?!]? Maybe got up a little early to enjoy a chapter or two of New Moon in peace?

Do you need a Twilight fix to get your day started right? This is a pretty sure sign that you are not a "casual fan." [Is there such a thing??]
Yes No

5 - Do you envy people who can read Twilight without becoming obsessed or who have never even read it?

At one time or another, most of us have wondered why we were not like most people, who don't seem interested in Twilight (not that we don't do our damnedest to try to get everyone we know on board - mwahahaha... Guess what I sent MY mom for Mother's Day???).
Yes No

6 - Have you had problems connected with Twilight during the past year?

Be honest! Doctors say that if you have a problem with Twilight, it will get worse--never better. Eventually, you will end up in an institution for the rest of your life [hopefully they will let us hang our poster up in there. and blog].
Yes No

7 - Has your Twilight obsession caused trouble at home?

Things getting a little messy at the ol' homestead? Is your family living on take-out meals, and the laundry is piling up? We thought so. Us, too! However, we have found that some of the, er, "side effects" of M-rated fanfic seem to make most S/Os turn a blind eye for the most part.
Yes No

8 - Have you missed days of work or school because of Twilight?
Many of us admit now that we "called in sick" lots of times when the truth was that we were doing something Twilight-related. Stayed up too late reading and overslept, did you? Missed that important conference call because you were wrapped up in a blog [guilty!]? And admit it: you already have intentions to do nothing non-Twilight-related on November 20th. We know all about it.
Yes No

9 - Do you have Twilight "blackouts"?

A "blackout" is when we have been doing something Twilight-related and totally lost track of time or cannot remember. Sat down to read a few pages of Breaking Dawn and suddenly you realize Timmy should have been picked up from soccer practice hours ago? Spent the day you took off to write your thesis paper in a WA coma [coughJJ! cough]? This is a pretty sure sign of Twilight addiction.
Yes No

10 - Have you ever felt that your life would be better if you had not discovered Twilight?

Many of us started to read Twilight because it made life seem better, at least for a while. And fuck it, we were right.

Did you answer YES four or more times? If so, you are probably in trouble with Twilight. Welcome to the club! You've found kindred spirits here at Twitarded, and we won't plan any embarrassing interventions or anything like that... Why do we say this? Because we understand. We're just like you! But only you can decide whether you think Twitarded is for you. Try to keep an open mind on the subject. If the answer is YES, we will be glad to show you how we became completely obsessed ourselves. Twitarded does not promise to solve your life's problems. But we can enable your addiction "one day at a time."
Twitarded is a fellowship of men women and the occasional unicorn or Twilight Widower who share their collective Twilight experience, strength and hope with each other that they may continue to fixate and help others come to the Twi-side.

25 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. er, reboot brain...
    the other day i wished that i would get fired, quit, or go on maternity leave just so i could spend more time with my twilight addiction. i need help! =D im so glad you gals are here to help me through this... you are here to help right?!

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  3. "Have you ever decided to stop watching, reading and blogging about Twilight for a week or so, but only lasted for a couple of days?"

    Uh. I have exams at the moment. And look where I am...here.
    I promised myself I wouldn't read the blogs or follow anyone's Twitter updates until my exams were over (11 days more to go!!!)
    Absolute FAIL. The only thing I managed to succeed in is that I haven't opened TweetDeck since last week.

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  4. I heart Twitarded. STY & JJ, you make the addiction so much easier to deal with. Thank you. :)

    I often wonder what my life would be like if I had never read Twilight. I'm not sure if I should love or hate the person who got me hooked. Truly, it all started out so innocently, didn't it? Why wasn't there a warning? Like on the side of a cigarette carton? Yeah know? They should start that... sorry I'm rambling now.

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  5. Considering it's 1:18 am, and I was only able to tear myself away from reading Wide Awake by saying, OK, I'll check out the fellow addicts at Twitarded - and only THEN maybe go to bed where I'm re-reading the end of New Moon (just adore the apology/big kiss scene)with my custom made cute as a button Robward bookmark - when I actually have some responsibilities in life and should probably be asleep - I just don't think I even needed the quiz. Thanks anyway Twitarded women - you make me feel like it's all OK.

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  6. LuvsMeSumEdwardMay 9, 2009 at 1:34 AM

    Hi, my name is Jessica and I'm a Twilaholic! I almost died when we decided to go on a family camping trip a few weeks ago. Just the thought of being away from my comp for a week made me freak out! I jammed my ipod with all things Twilight...movie, audio books, music, videos. Needless to say, my family was super annoyed with me by the end of the trip, but atleast I was able to to get some kind of fix :)

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  7. I am most definitely an addict and am so grateful to have found this little Twi-dealin' Twitarded crack den to hang out with all of you in.

    It is truly scary how I just gravitate to my laptop several times a day without evening thinking and make the blog circuit. After my kids wake me up way to early in the morning and my brain unclouds I realize waking up is good because I can check in on all things Twilight.

    @cuteangiek--there most definitely should be a warnin--though, even if there had been, I would have just wanted to read it that much more.

    @GiveMeVenom--I too just took a little break from Wide Awake to pop in here and catch up. I am loving Wide Awake so far.

    @JJ and STY--I noticed in your little blurb you are no longer trying to exorcise the Twilight demons--yay!

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  8. I've already told you I heart Twitarded! I never had anxiety issues, until Twilight happened to me!!! LOL!

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  9. @VitaminR70 - honestly when we started the blog the blurb about "trying to exorcise our Twilight demons and get over it" was totally true. However when I read it the other day (two seconds before deleting it...) I realized it had become a big fat LIE. I don't want to get over it! And clearly, I'm not going to - lol...

    And if it makes anyone feel any better, I dream about the blog and Twilight all the time. My mind races at night. And in the morning, too, for that matter. If I were a stronger person I would probably seek
    professional help, but I'm not so you all are stuck with me. : )

    @kdgrimmer - maybe to keep from getting swine flu we should all stay home for the next few weeks. You can't be too careful with things like that. Just sayin'... I am nothing if not cautious. :)

    @danilovemuffin - JJ was totally not kidding about almost failing because of Twilight & fanfic... And it is possible that the "missed conference call? thing I mention here has happened. possibly multiple times. We feel your pain! But just think of all the free time you'll have after finals! I wonder what you'll do with it... (actually i have a pretty good idea.)

    @cuteangiek - i am not sure but i think everything happens for a reason and damn it i was meant to read Twilight and start a blog. apparently you were, too!

    @GivMeVenom - i JUST read that part in New Moon this morning! I am really really enjoying this re-read... maybe it's knowing that the movie is on the way and i am kind of thinking about the new cast as i read, but i'm lovin' it!

    @LuvsMeSumEdward [cute name!] - Hi Jessica!! (picture a room full of us saying that all at once - lol!)The very thought of going without the computer for more than a few hours throws me into a panic. I don't think I could do it!! JJ is going camping or something later this summer and I think we may have to start a collection for a laptop before she goes because otherwise i don't know what's gonna happen here, but it won't be pretty. i might have to take the week off just to blog! sigh...

    @Huntress88 - i think Twilight just refocused my anxiety issues onto something more bearable - instead of my head being filled with deep dark thoughts, it's "all twi, all the time" in there now. definitely an improvement - i'll take it - lol!
    :)

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  10. @ STY - You make a compelling point. If that fate filled day had never come. If I had never known the joys, sorrows, embarrassment & complete ecstasy of Mr. Cullen, I never would have become a Twitard, thus never would have stubble upon this world... Oh SHUT UP! What a horrible thought!

    That's just the worst thing I have ever typed. THANK YOU LORD! Thank you for my Twi-session.

    Oh & this morning I woke up in a panic cause I realized I had spelled someone's name wrong on the blog... What the heck was that all about? Am I now Blogtarded, as well? Good Lord. This is just a slippery slop, huh?

    @VitaminR70 - I'm starting to rethink that warning label. Misery loves company, right? Let's get them all suckered in. What do you think?

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  11. P to the S: I forgot to mention, it was three in the morning. My husband thinks I am CRAZY now!

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  12. Erm, embarrassingly almost all of the above! haha But feel soo much better I am not alone.

    I really think that we have been brainwashed, in a good, obsessed, addict kind of way. Plus Twitarded would never have been founded! GASP! What would we do without you now?

    So we Twitarded Fans thank the one and only S.M. and of course JJ and SNY, So Cheers! To all us crazy arse TWI addicts out there we are the sane ones everyone else is crazy. God I need a drink! haha

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  13. Umm, I scored a 10! I love my twi-obsession and I don't know when/if I will ever kick the habit. Many moms can't wait for summer vacation (sleep in, no homework, etc.) I on the other hand am getting nervous about how I will get my fix with two children around all day. My youngest is around all the time but he is able to wander away when he sees me online with "mommy's Twilight stuff." My oldest will be "all in my business" and probably tell on me!! I am starting to sweat just thinking about it.

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  14. Stop the addiction??? hell no!!! this is my support group, not for recoverin addicts though, for moral support in my life style choice. hahaha

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  15. I bought a mascara JUST because it called DAZZLE!
    My Mom went to visit her sister, and called to say she bought me a gift, I was like awesome!, I go to get her at the airport, she hugs me, gets this big smile on her face and pulls out an Eclipse bookmark out of her purse! And says "I knew it was your favorite!!!" I love my bookmark! I mean my Mom!!!!!

    I think I'm tooo far gone! I don't see any hope for this addiction!....But it's so much fun :D

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  16. My hubby turned a blind eye to the messy house and the barely edible dinners when he realized that he really enjoys the "side affects" of my Twi-addition!!! He actually promised to watch "New Moon" with me when it comes out!(talking about enabler!)

    I love Twitarded! You gals make me lol every morning, while my teenage sons look at me like their mom had lost her marbles!

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  17. I am a tad addicted. I own it proudly. I am not ashamed to admit I am a 32 twi-mommy.

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  18. I didn't take your test but I will admit that there's a crazy kind of addiction that goes along with Twilight. I recall, after finishing reading the series the first time, feeling empty because there was nothing left to read and fill that void, lol. I'm glad I found your blog where I can preoccupy myself with Twilight and a double dose of snark! Yeehaw!

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  19. I didn't need the test to know I was in trouble.

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  20. I love how all the 'addict' stories are so similar! LOL! From the messy house to feelings of emptiness once the series was over... I think it's like what 86Rabbit said - we all KNEW we had a problem. LOL!

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  21. Do you have Twilight "blackouts"? ugh I'm like 2 or 3 weeks behind schedule on my thesis paper.
    2 years ago when "Eclipse" found its way into my life (gift from my ex) I never knew it would become such a huge part of my life. Read it, wanted to know everything that had happened before Eclipse, so I went out and bought Twilight and New Moon (which was a nighmare casue I live in a spanish speaking contry so finding the books in english was nearly imposible). Needless to say I became addicted to the Twi-universe and as soon as I found out Breaking Dawn was out I did everything in my power to get it. After I had read the complete saga like 4 times, the movie came out. I had my doubts about watching it, cause everytime I've watch a movie based on a book I've read, I'm really disappointed n I've hated the movie. Well I went n watched RPattz play my lovely Edward and of course I hated it, I hated the movie soooooo much! But being the addict I am I said t myself "give it another chance, don't compare it to the book" so after I watched it for the 5th time I think, I finally got didn't hate it. A month ago when I heard of a deluxe edition DVD that had come out in the US I did everything I could to have it. Been waiting a month and now I finally have that precious DVD in my hands. Was up all last night and watched all 3 discs.
    you know what I realised after I woke up this morning? I'm way more obsessed than I ever thought I could be. And I'm so glad to have found this group of people who are as obsessed as I am.

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  22. Do you have Twilight "blackouts"? ugh I'm like 2 or 3 weeks behind schedule on my thesis paper.
    2 years ago when "Eclipse" found its way into my life (gift from my ex) I never knew it would become such a huge part of my life. Read it, wanted to know everything that had happened before Eclipse, so I went out and bought Twilight and New Moon (which was a nighmare casue I live in a spanish speaking contry so finding the books in english was nearly imposible). Needless to say I became addicted to the Twi-universe and as soon as I found out Breaking Dawn was out I did everything in my power to get it. After I had read the complete saga like 4 times, the movie came out. I had my doubts about watching it, cause everytime I've watch a movie based on a book I've read, I'm really disappointed n I've hated the movie. Well I went n watched RPattz play my lovely Edward and of course I hated it, I hated the movie soooooo much! But being the addict I am I said t myself "give it another chance, don't compare it to the book" so after I watched it for the 5th time I think, I finally got didn't hate it. A month ago when I heard of a deluxe edition DVD that had come out in the US I did everything I could to have it. Been waiting a month and now I finally have that precious DVD in my hands. Was up all last night and watched all 3 discs.
    you know what I realised after I woke up this morning? I'm way more obsessed than I ever thought I could be. And I'm so glad to have found this group of people who are as obsessed as I am.

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  23. Considering it's 1:18 am, and I was only able to tear myself away from reading Wide Awake by saying, OK, I'll check out the fellow addicts at Twitarded - and only THEN maybe go to bed where I'm re-reading the end of New Moon (just adore the apology/big kiss scene)with my custom made cute as a button Robward bookmark - when I actually have some responsibilities in life and should probably be asleep - I just don't think I even needed the quiz. Thanks anyway Twitarded women - you make me feel like it's all OK.

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  24. er, reboot brain...
    the other day i wished that i would get fired, quit, or go on maternity leave just so i could spend more time with my twilight addiction. i need help! =D im so glad you gals are here to help me through this... you are here to help right?!

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  25. @VitaminR70 - honestly when we started the blog the blurb about "trying to exorcise our Twilight demons and get over it" was totally true. However when I read it the other day (two seconds before deleting it...) I realized it had become a big fat LIE. I don't want to get over it! And clearly, I'm not going to - lol...

    And if it makes anyone feel any better, I dream about the blog and Twilight all the time. My mind races at night. And in the morning, too, for that matter. If I were a stronger person I would probably seek
    professional help, but I'm not so you all are stuck with me. : )

    @kdgrimmer - maybe to keep from getting swine flu we should all stay home for the next few weeks. You can't be too careful with things like that. Just sayin'... I am nothing if not cautious. :)

    @danilovemuffin - JJ was totally not kidding about almost failing because of Twilight & fanfic... And it is possible that the "missed conference call? thing I mention here has happened. possibly multiple times. We feel your pain! But just think of all the free time you'll have after finals! I wonder what you'll do with it... (actually i have a pretty good idea.)

    @cuteangiek - i am not sure but i think everything happens for a reason and damn it i was meant to read Twilight and start a blog. apparently you were, too!

    @GivMeVenom - i JUST read that part in New Moon this morning! I am really really enjoying this re-read... maybe it's knowing that the movie is on the way and i am kind of thinking about the new cast as i read, but i'm lovin' it!

    @LuvsMeSumEdward [cute name!] - Hi Jessica!! (picture a room full of us saying that all at once - lol!)The very thought of going without the computer for more than a few hours throws me into a panic. I don't think I could do it!! JJ is going camping or something later this summer and I think we may have to start a collection for a laptop before she goes because otherwise i don't know what's gonna happen here, but it won't be pretty. i might have to take the week off just to blog! sigh...

    @Huntress88 - i think Twilight just refocused my anxiety issues onto something more bearable - instead of my head being filled with deep dark thoughts, it's "all twi, all the time" in there now. definitely an improvement - i'll take it - lol!
    :)

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