Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Robstengate: Are They or Aren't They (And Do We Care)?

You've all seen the pics that surfaced over the weekend. Grainy, hard to decipher, impossible to determine if indeed there is tonsil hockey in play or just a little rock-concert-appropriate direct-in-the-ear conversation taking place (if I had someone claiming I was having an affair every time I practically stick my lips onto someone's ear to talk over loud music, Mr. Snarky would divorce my seemingly slutty ass faster than you can say "Nobody cuckolds Mr. Snarky!").

Honestly, I don't really give a shit. And I have mixed feelings abut the fact that I have been STARING at those pics - and that ONE - you know "The One!" - like they're drug kingpins and I'm the U.S. District Attorney.

I don't care what they're doing - I just want to go to there...

Are they touching?! Aren't they? Are they revealing state secrets of some sort??? Plotting the overthrow of a moderately-sized third world country? No?? Why do I care?! Um, I don't[-ish] . That much... I hope I'm not going to offend anyone's delicate sensibilities here [BWAHAHAHAHA!!!] but I actually hope they're out there fucking like bunnies every chance they get. They're young, they're both total hotties (I have absolutely no desire to switch teams but I wouldn't kick Kristen Stewart out of my bed, either - just sayin'), and it's obvious that they have great chemistry together and at the very least really like each other. A LOT. Kristen Stewart's been with what's-his-nuts/Oregano for what - like 5 years? In teen dating time, that's like dog years! She should be playing the field, lest she find herself reminiscing when she's 90 and saying wistfully "I shoulda tapped that." And I'm not advocating total whore mode, either. I have always been a serial monogamist and even though all my friends in high school were total sluts, I was the always the most prim chick at the burnout table. When I told the guy who I eventually lost my virginity to that I was a virgin, even he had to pick his jaw up off the floor given the company I kept (and I miss 'em!). Nothing wrong with not having a sex tape out there, and maybe maintaining a teeny touch of mystery...

I could post eight gazillion photos of Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart gazing dreamily into each other's eyes like they have a special super-fabulous "wow I've never had an orgasm like that before have you?!" secret and are doing a mental pinkie-swear to get nekkid and do nasty oh-so-good things to each other the very next possible paparazzi-free moment they have together, but I won't. You've seen them (and if you haven't, let me know and I will be more than happy to post them here because most of the pics like that are fucking awesome and make me swoon from the intoxication of passionate, young hottie crushes).

Instead, I'll leave you with a photo that for me best encapsulates Robsten best...

Can't get enough of this maybe-possibly-sordid-or-not story? Then check out the awesome peeps at TwiCrack Addict and ROBsessed for more details! Additional photos at Radar Online if you want to get all "I WILL get to the bottom of this!!!" with it (it's ok - I couldn't help myself, either).

P.S. Here's a pic that I believe is the pic above but shot from the front. I happened across it by accident while looking for another photo. IMHO it's still just as lovely and completely smitten-looking Robward as the pic above. If they're a couple now, I hope they are left left alone enough to enjoy it...


  1. I just recently discovered your blog, and I must say that I can't stop reading. Being nearly 30 myself, my friend and I no longer feel so alone! And some of your posts had me laughing right out loud, which definitely warranted some strange looks from the boyfriend. But then again, he considers my Twilight/Robward obsessions totally nuts so nothing I do really surprises him anymore!

    Anyway, back to today's post, I totally agree with you. I hope both these beautiful people are having the time of their lives with each other. They're both cute and young and deserve to have some fun. I only hope they someday get some privacy!

  2. DAMN! I hope they r together< but then agaib i'm seriousky drunk and it"s taking me twice as long to type this> anyway< i hope theyr fu kibg back togethher or just together> that is what I hope> honestly> juste effing do it> why not?

  3. oh Jess I totally get where you are coming from [hic!] - girl after my own heart!

    and Megan - you are SO not alone!! and yes, as much as I want so see the blow-by-blow, I want those two to disappear for a bit and enjoy themselves out of the spotlight...

  4. OK couple things.......

    1- it looks like Kellan is sitting behind them, completly un-interested, playing wiht his phone... idk why thats relevant, but i found it funny and wanted topoint it out...

    2- i dont swing both ways, but i wouldnt kick her outta my bed either

    3- i dont know, and i dont care what they are or are not doing, as long as they both look hot and i can have naughty dreams about Rob while pretending whatever he may or may not be doing to Kstew, is being done to me

  5. As I mentioned on my FB page I really hope Rob is getting some (and I don't care from where--OK well that's a lie but whatever). He is way too full of fuckjawesome sexy goodness in what seems to be a really fucking dorky and fantastic personality with soulful musical talent to boot--that is just too much to go to waste. So, if he and Kristen are getting it on...so be it.

    I must add that while I am old and far, far past my physical prime (I honestly don't remember EVER being as skinny as KStew EVER) I have experience as, I assume, most of us "mature" admirers---oh, the things I could do to that boy....oh,um,sorry(fanning self). KStew may be hot, rich, kind of annoyingly hip, and famous but she is only 19 and can't possibly yet have the skills to bring that boy to his knees...she can't even buy him a beer legally. OK, enough said. Goodnight!

  6. I've really tried not to speculate, one way or the other because as Gozde (robsessed) says, "If he ain't doing me, who cares!?" That said, I think it's funny that all the pictures are fairly clear EXCEPT the one seen 'round the world. Personally, I think Kristen's knees are propped up (blocking the shot) and he's leaning in to hear her better and that's why there's no definition of her face. You can see the tips of her shoes on the ledge, I think. Now that I've typed that it's apparent I have no fucking life whatsoever. Sigh.

    You made a good point, STY - I remembered how much sex I had when I was their age (crying hysterically now, hang on...) and I also say, more power to them. However, if they hook up, break up, and mess up the chemistry for the last 2 movies I will hunt her down and make her go back to Oregano. Or basil. Or whoever.

  7. LOL do you know where Tina Fey gets lines like "I just want to go to there"? From her three year old!

    That picture in question is just the two of them exchanging shouts in each other's ears at a concert. I also think that by now they are aware of how much talk these shadowy pictures are getting and somewhere Kristen is probably disgruntled because she's so private about her love life. It's not like the two of them really need to pull any publicity stunts to get people talking about New Moon.

    I personally think the two of them would be a good match, just because they both don't fit the typical young Hollywood mold. Can't really see K dating a Chase Crawford like Ashley, and can't really see Rob dating an AnnaLynne McCord like Kellan.

  8. That particular picture cracks me up. It's like the pictures of Big Foot and the Loch Ness Monster.

    One of the other photos was a lot more illuminating, I thought. It's one where they were leaning in toward each other real close and the expressions on their faces were just so sweet and intimate.

    Whatever... they're still kids, they should be fucking like bunnies. I remember my early twenties, that was essentially my pick up line..."I think you're hot, lets fuck like bunnies".

  9. Wow, you handled that with a lot more maturity than I did, and I'm even older than you I think. Like you, I hope they are both tapping that as much as possible and enjoying themselves in every trailer and back room of that set. However, if any of this ruins any of the on-screen chemistry, then I may be doing some set stalking myself.

  10. Ok first off, in the first press pic, the shadow on Rob's head/face makes him look like he has the Bono mullet circa 1988! ;/ I look past it, cause I reallly like that pic of the two, I aww every time.

    Second, I myself was at a KOL concert last Thursday! Those are hella loud shows. My theory, they were yelling sweet nothings to each other!
    But hey if they are together, good for them!

    Thirdly, I'll be pissed if this affects E&B!

    VW-GESION - I guess they'll just keep us gesion!

  11. Hmmm.. I am in my early twenties..
    Must go find someone to fuck like a bunny, I guess.

    I just hope they're happy, whatever/whomever they are doing.. They deserve a life just as much as the rest of us!

  12. This is, by far, the best blog regarding the infamous "kiss" at KOL concert! It is freaking hilarious! Thank you for saying what needed to be said in all honesty!

  13. They both have enough batshit craziness in their lives so if they can find some peace and happiness with each other then I say "Good on you guys".

  14. PS: I always let out an "Awww" when I see a photo of someone looking at another with an obvious look of love/compassion/admiration, and I'm not a traditionally sappy person. Won't see me in a chick flick.

  15. Great blog!

    I would really like to see those photos you mentioned of them gazing dreamily into each others eyes.

  16. they are both too beautiful to not be together...

    our Edward and Bella...

    I wish it was me...


  17. oh and would love to see all the pics you have with them gazing at each other... or even just together... so please share!!

  18. First off, I saw KOL in May and they rawked!...Caleb is hella sexy!
    Anyway, I have a love hate relationship with this pic: One I cannot stop looking at it and critiquing it. Two the pic's so damn ambiguous, I can't stand it.
    So after moments of staring at it:
    I noticed that if you look closely you'll see that Kstew's legs are up with her knees in front of her face, so that would explain the big ass shadow in front since she's wearing black jeans... Any who, at first I was like every annoying Robsten fan 'OMG they're totally mackin! Rob and Kristen are sucking face!' But then I looked closer and most likely it looks like he's leaning in to hear her better, she's slouching in her chair and so it looks like he's hovering over her. So there you have it! BUT kissing or not, it does look intimate: how close they're sitting to each other whilst everyone around them giving them space.
    P.S. luv your blog, first time posting!!!

  19. I say if he ain't fucking me, she's my next choice for him. And I hope they're fucking because fucking makes people happy and with all the shit those two have to endure, they need to be fucking happy!

    PS: Word Verification = scrotrem (what. the. fuck?)

  20. I don't know...I think I might kick KStew to the curb...she just doesn't do it for me. Anna Paquin on the other hand...wouldn't throw her outta bed unless she opened up her mouth and showed the gap between her teeth...ew. I don't know if they are doing it or not doing it...but I'm leaning towards doing it. And really, isn't there nothing better than a semi-under the radar tryst to get the blood pumping?

  21. I think it's great and hope they enjoy the hell out of it! I like any confirmation that Rob is a one-woman man, and not a man-whore. That just increases his cachet that much more (and I didn't think that was possible)!

  22. @suzspetals - lmfao - good point! and "basil or whatever" - i am crying... tea spewing... and WHY ISN'T MY TWITARDED MUG HERE YET?! lol...

    @LKW - only you would get that veri-word, my dear, only you... and yes they look happy and yes it's probably from all that good fucking... and yes, if not you, me, JJ, or any of these other fine whoreflaps here at Twitarded, then I suppose I am OK with him tappin' Kristen. I'm even calling her "Kristen" more and not "KStew" so I must be thinkin' more favorably of here these days. WTF is happening to me?! lol...

    @IPW4F - def kellan - there's a whole cast-nearby-breakdown shot (stephenie meyer! and producer dude! and some other folks!) with arrows and shit. find it - it's funny!

    @VR70 - agreed - i just hope they are gettin' some somewhere!! ah young lust... : )

    @Lisa - maybe so, maybe so - I doubt they would be sucking face full-on in public, too, but i loves me a good semi-story, you know? girls gotta blog about what she can - lol.... but with Robsten it's like they waited too long to come out (whether or not there was face-suckage going on here I DO think they are together or at least have been together at some point)and now if they are a couple they hide it. I mean, fuck - Brangelina was less secretive and he was effing married and shit. not fair!

    @SFT - er - see above - and yeah I heard Tina Fey say that on some talk show And I was dying - what wat it, Letterman, I think, oh now wait I think it was when she was on what's-his-names first show - jimmy fallon - the very first night i think. I heart her.

    @onoimatwitard2 - right?! that's perfect - like nessie (eek - not THAT nessie - the original nessie!) of sasquawatch (however you spell it) for sure - perfect analogy! too bad i was too effing tired when i wrote this to think of it - lol! nice...

    @Kementari - that didn't occur to me when i was thinking about them being together but you and whoever else said it have a good point - if they ARE together and then split up, then what?! recasst bella for Breaking Dawn?!? I kid, I kid, but really - it could fuck things up.. now I don't know what i wish!

    @Track 10 - agreed - probably nothing, but it sure is fun to speculate - lol!

    @Zwolsche Diva - yes you should! jk - lol! but really go for, ok? : ) And I hope that they are happy too. I don't know why I care, but honestly I think I do just a little bit. Eek.

    @Narelle from Aus - I'm not a really sappy person either but I love me some of those pics where they are all ga-ga looking - you can't fake that look, ya' know? Aw... : )

    @Anon - I will see what I can do! And thanks! Now go sign up for blogger and be #500, dang it! lol...

    @CTB - well i calls 'em like I sees 'em even when you can't really see anything too clearly - lol! we are always late but we gotta put in our two cents on stuff like this for sure!

    @Sarah (SA) - agreed - they do make a beautiful couple! Hope it's true, and that they come out and people let them have a life (ain't gonna happen but I can hope). I will see if I can find pics!

    @THparkle - agreed - I don't even want to admit how long I stared at that pic, hoping I would see some nom-existent detail that would confirm or deny kissy-facen' - but it is not to be. If pressed, I will admit that I think they were talking. But i am sure they TOTALLY made out (and other things - woo-woo!) later! ok i feel dirty now and better go shower... and thanks for the props - hope to see ya' around these parts more in the future! : )

    OK all - once again I am bloggy happy but late for work - later! But you guys rock and I love starting my morning with you...

    : )

  23. STY, I completely agree with you!! I hope they do it every freakin' chance they get. And if they aren't doing it with each other, I hope they're doing it with someone else. Rob is way too hot and sexy to be NOT doing it!! That would be such a shame!!! :}

  24. @BR549 [love them btw] - true - i'd still like him if he was a man-slut but probably not at much... : )

    @Fire Crotch - idk Anna Paquin is like a two-face - sometimes she looks totally hot and sometimes she looks feckin' rough. not sure what it is with her... And I am also leaning towards "it" even if this pic was probably nothing but a mouth-to-ear chat.

    OK NOW I really am late - lol! later!

  25. HAHAHAHA you guys are fuck funny! Now pretending I don't have naughty dreams abt Rob/Kris, they are so cute! In my dreams they have two purposes: a) make my heart melt or b) make my crotch melt. so i do hope that they fuck like bunnies at any chance.

  26. STY - loved the "dog years" & "shoulda tapped that" LOL !!!! I am a prideful Robsten lovah! want it bad! why? who cares! First i think they'd go far but perhaps not the kiss when the whole gang is out as well as scummit execs close by. so I say she gave him a come hither look along with talking softly! You can see that he doesn't touch her in all the photos - restraint Robsten fans! They're on! Because if she just was his close friend he'd be touching her! Ha! Fab Logic right! Anyway. Kstew's been-a-smilin a ton lately - all on her very own..and we know she's not about that normally. they are on but don't think their lips are smakcin in this photo. But all that restraint is paying off in the bedroom ladies! No doubt.

    and @Latchkey..I'm so bummed -kstew is your next choice if he ain't doin you? throw *me* your leftovers bitch! now! (please)(i'm begging).

  27. Firstly, I think the picture shows Rob with his ear close to KStew's lips so he could hear her. I also find it odd that the clarity of this pic is so horrible directly where their faces would meet, yet all the others are clear.

    Secondly, the fairy tale lover in me hopes they are together and enjoying every minute of this time of their lives...it does not last forever. If that means putting the elevator on hold and jumping each other's bones, so be it. They deserve some fun, they are both young and good looking and at the top of their games.

    Having written all that, does that mean I have no life,(smiling) "NO", it means I remember what it was like to be young and in love.

    The pic of them from a back angle is wonderful I had not seen that before...thanks.
    The other pic from the front is not the correct angle. In that pic their chins angle in towards each other.

    (the den mother of you all)

  28. Oh man you guys crack me up! Honestly, who would pass on Rob?? I probably wouldn't kick her out of bed either and she severely lacks a penis which is normally a deal breaker for me.

    But LOL when you put it that way she should tap that because you don't want to regret passing that one up... hell I'm not even out of my twenties yet and I know how that feels. Coulda shoulda didn't with the sexy Irish exchange student *sigh*.

    Don't let that happen to you KStew!

  29. Team_Six Pack-

    LOL- Re deal breaker.very funny!!
    That coulda should didn't doesn't go away LOL!!
    You are going to remember that guy till your dying day.

    Jaima who remember her 6ft 6" dark haired boy...

  30. I'm pretty sure they've hooked up. Like quite a bit while filming Twilight. They have way too good of chemistry with each other to not be attracted to one another. You can tell by the way KStew looks at Rob. She doesn't give those fuck me eyes to anyone. OK, so I can't help but be a little jealous. Guess fucking Rob likes them young. Well whateva!! j/k. I have to admit, I like him with KStew better than say like Megan Fox which the thought bugs the shit out of me even though I like Megan Fox. Just not with my Rob!

    @LW your comments are hilarious!

  31. I know I'm old because I keep thinking, "They're too young!"

  32. Well, if it can't be me (or one of you, of course, cause I know you'd fuck and tell), then I hope Kristen is getting a piece of that Rob awesomeness. I'll just live vicariously through her... And I agree with @Honalulu Girl. I don't think you can fake that kind of chemistry.

  33. @Jaima Mmmm 6ft 6" dark haired boy...that sounds nice, especially because I'm 5'9" I like 'em tall ;)

    But yea I'll never forget that accent. I swear I'm destined to marry someone from the UK (England, Ireland or Scotland maybe even Wales hell I won't be picky) I LOVE the accents!

    Anyway back to KStew and Rob, if they are hooking up good for them, but damn they're both so young whats with the rumors (which I know were shot down on gossip cop) that they're going to move in together... Hooking up does not mean dating...hell dating doesn't even mean they have to live together. Why does everyone go that direction in relationships?

  34. Like I said before, one thing if for sure. Rob is in LOVE. He is in love with that Stoli shirt. And dear God, I hope he is rocking the boat with KS or ANYONE. It sure would help us get over the Rob-is-SINGLE-so-I-can-dream-all-I-want-fantasy! When I first saw these, I thought, FREE AT LAST, free at last! Obsession goes down a notch once the pretty boy is taken, yes? I still adore him though. I like my cup of Rob every morning … a little sugar with his cream. ;)

  35. I totally agree with you! I hope they are going at it like rabbits and although i don't swing both ways I wouldn't be at all upset to find myself in the middle of a Rob and Kristen sandwich...

  36. I'm on Team I Don't Give A Shit. It's no secret I'm not a fan of KStew but I'd rather Rob bang her than some hosebeast like Paris Hilton. That would call for a serious Moxie shunning and I'm not prepared to lose him over something like that.

  37. I just wish Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart would get the chance to read this blog of yours! I'm sure they'd be laughing their asses off! Haha!

  38. Saw these pictures posted on Dlisted the other day. Stared at them for about 10 minutes trying to figure out what was going on - with much fail. I think he summed it up nicely though in his commentary...

    "Okay, in reality, they are probably just talking really close, because the music is loud, but let's just go with it.... Kristen is totally playing with his sparkly dick butter while RPattz flicks the fleas off her crotch nest with his feet. *Romance*."

    Peed myself. Amundo.

    (Sorry Kstew)

  39. @mmMoxie - Come on. Tell us what you're REALLY feeling and stop beating around Paris' bushes. And can I join your team? Best one yet!

    @Anonymous - I like to think that his is the ONLY Twilight site they bother reading at all. Rob has that kind of sense of humor. We hope.

  40. First , I love you blog I don't have to hide like a teenager that I'm not , as to the point are or are they not , here is my take ( please hold on English is my second and very miss used language thanks ) He is hot , she is hot and they do have a so much sexual tension than you can even feel it even thru a picture , so if after a long day at work where they did do a scene of them kissing and making out , they go together and have sex it is only to be expected , were I her , would do the same , so I say they are doing it or have done it ..with that said , I think in the pict they were just talking , if they were to kiss it will not be in a place with so many darn people around ... that is all I have to say ....thank you one more time for a great time love coming back here .

  41. I. Heart. Your. Blog. and all the chutzpah that surrounds it. Your neurotic-ness makes sense to me. Your reader's comments brightens my day as well.

    We all rock here in Twitardedland. ;D

    Rob and Kristen? I don't really mind if they are hooking up. But I WILL mind if they fuck up their chemistry in the next Twilight installments. just sayin'..

  42. mmMoxie- EWWWWWWWWW Paris Hilton. That would be the end of my fixation with Rob, I would have to go crawling back on hands and knees to David Gandy (Ok you harlots, get out of the gutter)

    Team-sixpack. I am also tall,6ft. I also love tall men.

    Anonymous-great english for a ESL post.

    Goodnight all you strumpets.


  43. Snark-Damn you for being so spot on...now I'm an addict to your site. It was visual poetry to put the front and back robstensex shots together. Heartyou.

    @KinTheFlo-Good point about the Scummit Execs!!

  44. OK OK Based on his head position you're all WRONG!

    He's totally licking her nipple!

    Go ahead prove me wrong...

    I really don't care whether or not they're together. But she's a dumb cunt for passing on Robward for that other douch. That's my opinion. And if she doesn't we all aleady know how much she'll regret it one day.

  45. @scarlet phoenix - you are RIGHT! lfmao - why didn't I think of that?!

    holy crap too funny - : )

  46. Anntastic (aka Anne)August 19, 2009 at 1:27 AM

    STY??? I HEART YOU. Big time. I want to hop a plane to the east coast & snuggle you. As a huge Robsten fan (I feel like we're all declaring our political affiliations here!) AND as a huge Twitard fan, you now offically "pwn" me. Your post was hilarious, brilliant, witty, and oh....do I love the photo you picked to sum up how you feel about them. It's always been a favorite of mine, and I've always loved the way he looks at her. I have no idea why an early 30's bitch like me wants to see the fairytale in them. But I do. I hate that I want privacy for them but at the same time I want to see all the pics.

    I also have to say that @VitaminR & @Latchkey - I heart you two also. Ditto your comments.


    PS - word veri = TROUT

  47. anntastic (aka Anne)August 19, 2009 at 1:28 AM

    PSS - If they are always "leaning close to hear one another b/c the music is so loud" then why are none of the other cast & bystanders leaning THAT close too? Just sayin'

  48. @jaima - you may be den mom but not by much - you are in good company here & we're glad to have you - lol!

    @faith from oz - thanks! i heart all you guys and am SO happy that we are all together to share in the Twitarded madness!

    @Vampsus - aw shucks you are too kind! but I DO love that pic - so intimate, somehow... {{{sigh}}} : )

    @honolulu girl - i agree - i think this has been goin' on for a while! and why not? please let it be so... don't know why i care but here i am lol...

    @cheryl - i hope that they are showing up at the set all chaffed & stuff - lol! ok not really but maybe a tiny bit...

    OK waaaay too long of a day - talk to all you [pulls out creative cursing book 'cause it's late & i'm brain-dead] 'gina monkeys (er, "cooch wipes"? better? lol...) tomorrow... um, or later today... fuck, is it the weekend yet?

    @anon - your english is waaay better than my grasp on any other language and i totally agree that you can feel the chemistry in their pics! : )

    @Pirate Princess Pickle Bunny [LOVE the name!] - also love dlisted!

    @Team_SixPack - i love me a guy with an accent too - Mr. Snarky is american but i'll bet he'll pretend for me - and do it well! - if I ask nice...

    @heather - i want in on that sandiwch!! oh feel dirty now but don't care...

    @groovininthesun - agreed - PLEASE just let that not be going to waste & let SOMEONE be gettin' some of that!

    @Twilove1 - agreed - can't be faked...

    @KinTheFlo - well observed - if kristen is all smiley, sumpthin's up for sure - lol!

    @kathcom - oh come on - they are in their sexual prime (er, or he is) - they are not children! sure they are young, but not TOO young - methinks they are juuuust right... : )

  49. Ok I decided to join, instead of being #500, I'm 519. Anyhow, how you getting on with those "gazing dreamily" pics??? I'm pretty new to this after just reading the twi books so I need some catching up in the whole Robsten department.

  50. AH! THE photo I manipulated my head onto of Robsten. Please see here:


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