Monday, December 21, 2009

Robert Pattinson's...Twin?! Methinks Not!

Me: Hey, Snarkier Than You, I've got the coals! Do you have the lighter fluid?
STY: Yup! Pour those coals right here and we'll wait until they get nice and hot...
Me: Awesome! [Hands STY a rake] You ready?
STY: You bet I am. Bring it on!

Sometimes we come across things that are "funny ha-ha." Other times we come across things that are "funny what-the-fuck?" This time, we've come across something that is "funny is-this-fucking-guy-for-real?!" I debated even doing this but... it has to be done. Sure, it's Christmas time and everyone's supposed to be all peace-on-earth-&-good-will-to-all-men and all that stuff. And we are. But we are making an exception...

To begin, let me clarify a point that will be important momentarily by stating the obvious: this is Robert Pattinson:

Lllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaadies...

I mean, really, I don't need to tell you who this guy is! I'm pretty sure most of you close your eyes and see that chiseled jaw, that sexily mussed hair, and those come-hither eyes. Oh lawd, Robert Pattinson is sexy.

However, we've recently stumbled upon someone who not only claims to look like Robert Pattinson but... are you ready?... actually thinks he's better looking than RPattz.

We'll give you a few minutes to let that sink in. It's okay if you need a little time wrap your head around this nonsense. We understand - we'll wait.

Now, I still suspect this is a joke but, as STY pointed out, anyone saying “ I look like this person only better” when the person in question is like the hottest human alive is asking for it. And he's gonna get it.

Ooooh yeah, he's gonna get it.

Folks, meet the dude who is billing himself as "Robert Patterson's [sic] twin" -

Contemplating his next victim...
Just wait the world will know me soon
[Is that TOILET bowl cleaner behind him? Really? And did he steal Bella's bracelets?]

We didn't caption or title these photos, either [though we did leave our two cents in brackets]. We didn't have to - he's already done it for us. That's right: they're aaaaaaall him. And by "him," I mean "Robert Patterson's" egotistical, delusional [non]twin.

We're not including the link back to him here just in case he's tougher than he looks and comes after us...and also because even though we are skewering this guy, we don't want to actually psychologically maim any "Robert-Patterson-twins" in the making of this post. But after STY sent the link to me earlier today, I actually stared at these pictures for a good 45 seconds, stunned by the audacity of this guy.

And then I totally peed myself laughing.

I'm not sure what's bigger on this dude. His balls or his ego.

In The Woods
Fast as lighting.
["Fast as lighting"??? Nightlight? Flashlight? Indoor/outdoor x-mas light? And just how fast is 'lighting'?]

First of all, let me point out a few things about "Robert Patterson's Twin." If you think that you're the doppelganger of a famous actor, not to mention one who is currently SO hot that mere mortal women and their undergarments burst into flames at the sight of him, don't you think you would want to, I don't know, get his fucking name right? It's Pattinson, not Patterson, numnuts. Now, maybe you ARE trying to pull off being Robert Patterson's twin but I have no fucking clue who that guy is and the fact that you're wearing outfits that our favorite sparkly vampy brooder was wearing I'm going to go ahead and say... epic fail on the name, dude.

Secondly, not to point out the obvious here, but this fella does not look like Robert Pattinson. At. All. Not even after a pint of whiskey and some fucking peyote will this guy look like RPattz's twin. I'll go out on a limb and say that maybe, if I squint, there are some similarities. But no, twin of the Precious you are not.

Now, back to his balls. Or ego.

Remember how I mentioned earlier that the captions and titles of all the photos belong to Robert Patterson's Twin [RPT from here on out. I'm lazy]?

Robert Patterson Look Alike
Imagine what Robert Patterson would look like if he was perfect

I am not making this up, that's really what how he captioned this photo. Slut's honor. So, not only does RPT think he's RPattz's twin, he thinks he's the better looking of the two! I think if you look up "delusional narcissist" in the dictionary this picture is right next to it.

[Okay, this picture is just screaming "loooook at meeeeeeee!! LOOOOOOOOOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!"]

Fine, fine. I'm looking. Jawporn? Nope. Fingerporn? Def not. Piercing sexy gaze? Umm, I see piercing gaze but it's more serial killer than sexy.

Hey, listen, I'm not exactly smoking hot. In fact, I generally tend to slide down to the "cute" end of the scale, along with fucking puppies and shit but I also don't go around posting my picture up on the internet and boasting about how fuckhawt I am. This guy did. Which is why we feel the need to single him out for a good ol' Twitarded roasting.

Want more? Honestly, I think the captions are the icing on the, um, cake.

New Moon in the Moonlight
Imagine Robert Patterson but better looking

Uh huh. Suuuuuuure you are. Oh, btw, RPT have we introduced you to our the bad vampire? I'm sure you two could spend hours together, talking about how hot, fabulous, and godlike you both are...

I'm hotter than Robert Pattinson AND his (non) twin. So there!!

[Welcome back, Bad Vampire! Now go away again!]

91 comments:

  1. You seriously, have GOT to be kidding me! I haven't laughed that hard in a while. He looks more like Clay Aiken in the face...SO the exact opposite Rpattz! And it's got to be his ego..there's just no way anything could be bigger - he's NOT his twin afterall...
    Un-freakin-believe-able! What a dillweed.

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  2. OMG I think I just puked all over myself. You have got to be kidding me, right? Obviously not.

    The one with him holding his i-phone did it for me, in your dreams boy.....and definitely not in mine!

    Hearts,
    Rob Patterson's look-a-like sister (the younger one)

    x

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  3. Ewww, fucking ewwww. I mean that’s mean to say eww but fucking ewww! No, to the hell, NO! He is not better looking than Rob nor even resembles him.

    The last pic, Bad Vampire. Ah, I remember him. LOL!

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  4. Holy hell---he's absolutely delusional...

    "Slut's Honor" is my new favorite phrase!!!

    He looks like what a bad Saturday Night Live skit would use to imitate Rob.

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  5. On what fucking planet does he look like Rob? What a fucktard. And fast as lighting? Really? I think douche meant lightning. And dude, I'm not sure that's something I would advertise.

    I suspect he needs a spell check and some lovely psychiatric meds.

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  6. If he's anyone's twin, he's Simba's...you know, from The Lion King???

    Just how much Alberto mousse did Dude use to try to imitate Our Boy's totally unkempt sex-locks??

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  7. Hands up, Ladies....

    Anyone want a man who is "fast as lighting"??

    Anyone? Anyone???

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  8. Thanks for digging this shit up for us - too funny!! My fav is the pic of RPT sittin there with his bottle of toilet bowl cleaner. So he was either cleaning his own bowl or perhaps on the job somewhere, when he got distracted by his own reflection and felt the need to strike a pose. Harhar. What a sad sad little man.

    Fkat

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  9. HOLY FUCKING BAT-SHIT-CRAZY DOUCHY DICKWADS, Batman!!!!

    In no universe is this guy good-looking.

    He's ICKY!!! In the creeptastic stalker kind of way. Eeeeewwwww...

    WordVerif: germed. Totally this dude!

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  10. @JJ - I've also been given the Curse of Cute! I think it's the fact that I'm short and spunky. Mr. SV thinks I'm sexy though and that all that matters.

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  11. No fucking way! What shit is that douche-bag smoking to even think he's the same species as RPattz??? There is nothing even remotely close in appearance to Rob. Clay Aiken, maybe. EWW!! EWW!! EEEEWWWWW!!!

    Please, someone pour bleach in my brain! I need to get these nasty-ass images out of my head! You should have put some type of damn disclaimer on them, telling us to view at our own risk! ICK ICK ICK!!!!!

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  12. Are you FUCKING SERIOUS? He thinks that if he makes his hair all messy like and gives the camera a brooding stare that he is RPatz?? ON What FUCKING PLANET?? I vote like the rest on The Clay Aiken Look Alike!

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  13. WTF!!! Dude get over yourself and look in a fookin mirror! In no way does he looke like the Precious, he doesn't even look like Robert Patterson.

    Love that you ladies found these it totally made my night! That ass hat needs to get a clue!

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  14. I kinda feel sorry for this guy!!!EEwww!!! Needs serious help

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  15. Jeez...I thought that the last dude was a girl who looked like a dude....double take! Looking more closely, is he the son of Paul Stanley???....or maybe it's Paul Stanley with even more surgery! Yikes....scary picture....make it go away!

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  16. Okay, I've never seen the bad vampire and I startd LMAO. Is this person a guy or a girl?

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  17. Are we sure this isn't Jimmy Kimmel's nephew, Tyler? LOL!

    And my new favorite word is "fucktard." Thanks, Twi-Swears ;)

    Lisa

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  18. not even beer googles would help this fuckwad. ewwwwwwwwwwwww. fast as lightning- certainly not bright as a lightbulb. this guys elevator does not go to the top floor. and as a professional nurse- he needs to start taking his meds again-STAT. thanks for making me pee myself at work.

    wv:outfur-- my mind drifts to the happy trail

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  19. i just threw up in my mouth a little...blerg!!

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  20. Gag me with a spoon. Really, he's serious?? Hey, do you suppose he could fool KStew? This could be our big break.

    (I love "slut's honor" - hee hee!!)

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  21. I almost woke up my daughter laughing so hard. (And uh - no, RPT I'm not laughing WITH you.) Clay Aiken's more contemporary but I immediately thought one of the Bay City Rollers. You know, the homely one... oh, wait... that didn't help did it?

    BTW, I'm stealing 'slut's honor' too. Thanks!

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  22. Ohmygawd my eyes! My eyes! Is this the free door prize JJ? Fuck I knew it! I want my money back! Oh wait, I didn't pay for anything did I?

    You had me at the toilet bowl cleaner photo--totally fuckhawt! Ha!Ha! Why the hell is he wearing Bella's bracelet and prayer beads or something? Robert Patterson needs to call it a day.

    Thanks for the laughs ladies. Must go drown myself in holiday cheer now and your 15 Step update.

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  23. Gosh this Dude is incredible! And hey, The Bad Vamp I remember him!!! Cool that you took him out!

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  24. JJ and STY stop it - stop it right now!!! I will not have to telling the world that my boyfriend Robert Patterson twin is not hotter than RPattz. That's it ladies I'm officially so upset with the both of you I don't know what I'm going to do.

    See that little rant was a delusional as that guy's brain. I mean I'm not all over RPattz's ball sac, even though that pic in this post made my vagina cry for some attention. I do fully realize that guy is wacko-jacko.

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  25. Well he does look a little like Jimmy Fallon's " Robert is Bothered", so I can see where he might be confused.......fucktard!

    Fkat

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  26. pant pant pant....
    NO NOT FROM RPT! From laughing so hard at you ladies giving him the royal Twitarded roast!

    OMG that has to be a joke, right? wow. that is quite delusional.

    ooohhh. ooooh. deep breathing... needed... too mmuch funnny...

    and yes- slut's honor- the new vow amongst twitards.
    thank you ladies...

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  27. Anyone else think that Bad Vamp stole Kristen's haircut?

    Too bad his boobs are bigger. I say we hook him up with RPT/Clay-A....

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  28. Give that guy the Poopy Bella IHOP Award!

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  29. Ok...he can say he's better looking....when the world regards retarded little douche bag dwarfs with narcissistic tendencies, a 2-yr old condom in his wallet and his moms Hyundai he drives to the community college, sexier than the tall, statuesque, perfectly chiseled, shy, humble, talented, virile, millionaire Rob Pattinson. Can looking at non-twin actually give you a virus? Cuz I think I just got a yeast infection, fucker!

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  30. damnit @tsharee I snorted so loud I nearly woke up my husband! Shhhhh.......He needs his sleep. ;)

    Fkat

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  31. MY EYES MY EYES!!! Oooh my eyes! I need BRAIN BLEACH toooo! That is not the last thing I want in my brain before I go to sleep! 8O
    *clicks open "The Pretty" Folder* Oohh that's better! ummm hummmm.

    "Slut's Honor" another gem from the World of Twitard!

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  32. @tsharee - PMSL, woman! But you make a good point. I never thought of Rob as a millionaire, so scary for some reason.

    Now this dude can't fucking be serious. I mean really, he's gotta be joking, because, if he is serious, I feel sorry for him, and I won't laugh, because I never make fun or retards.

    Now, who's this bad vampire dude? WTF is that all about? Do tell.

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  33. OMFG! I laughed so hard I got cramp in my stomach!

    Ok, so I may know what happened here. He hasn't actually seen any pics of RPattz, just the bad tattoo pic.

    And from everyone's comments (which made me laugh as hard as the pics and JJ's words) I think he obviously does have a potential lookalike career, he just needs steering in the right direction. I think it's a shame for him he wasn't born 40yrs earlier because he could certainly carve a career as a slightly dodgy David Cassidy lookey-likey.

    And the bad vamp - WTF? That was obv from my pre-Twitarded days when my life was def not as sunny.

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  34. Possibly the most delusional individual in existence! Holy FUCK, what a creepy fucking dude! And jeezus, get the fucking name right you asstard.

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  35. This "Robert Patterson's Twin" guy is delusion, and "Bad Vampire" is scary as shit!!

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  36. bahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How do you guys find this hilarious shit????? The best part of all of this, is that this guy is friggin serious! OMR.....dude, not even close! Thanks for making me pee my pants at 7 a.m......you made my day! LMAO!

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  37. SERIOUSLY?!!!!!!!!!! For the first time, I honestly don't have anything to say.

    Well actually, one comment.

    He looks like a slightly straighter Clay Aiken... ugh I don't like this little man!

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  38. Umm...yeah.....right.....

    Does this guy have 12 feet of shit in front of his eyes?


    Love the toilet cleaner in the background....nothing says "sexier than Rpatz" than that!!

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  39. Holy Fucking Shit...he's insnae. Honestly he looks more like the 4th (and less talented/cute) Jonas brother than RPatz.

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  40. Sure makes you wonder if it's serious or a joke? Either way, it's attention-seeking, which automatically makes him annoying...

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  41. Oh, and what happens when you google "Robert Patterson Look Alike"??? I intent to find out :)

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  42. Will I get in trouble for posting this?? It only links to the pictures and not his webpage (you can take it down if you want), but that picture of him with the cat is the best one yet!!!!!! http://www.flickr.com/photos/robertpattersonlookalike

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  43. I'd like to know who exactly was taking these pics?

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  44. WOW.

    I'm more impressed with his photographer in a couple of those pics than him.

    His hair is what gets me.

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  45. RPT...
    If Rick Astley and Clay Aiken had babies.

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  46. Ok, so my 4yr old just came up while I was looking at the flickr stream and asked if that's the real Rob. I'm going to hope it was the clothes that were the trigger because I really don't want to have to cast him out of the family this close to Christmas.

    @ Freaky Bella - 'Vampires love cats'? Hmm, he's obviously not familiar with Bubba in True Blood - unless that was what he meant? ;o)

    v/w truste - truste me mate, you look nothing like the Precious...

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  47. My favorite: " Slut's Honor". **WIN****LOL.
    This is best post ever during a Rob Drought!
    what a schmo.

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  48. What a good laugh. How on earth did you find this? But no - seriously - surely the guy isn't serious and just wanted to poke fun at himself doing a little parody. Pleaaaase tell me it's just this. Being self-deprecating is the mark of clever people (look at The Precious - doing it all the time). So I'll yield to the forgiving Christmas spirit and be willing to believe it's just this - a guy doing a funny prank. Because if he's serious and ever comes across Twitarded he's going to have a heart attack.

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  49. Bwahahaha I can't beleive you found this... This guy just gives me the creeps!

    If you read the profile on Photostream it says that he's doing a vamprie movie and that girls are camping out at his door?!? WTF They seriously need there eyes checked!

    He's also available for endorsements and birthday parties... Ewww can you imagine this dude showing up at your birthday party?!?

    Slut's honor... <B

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  50. Beware ladies, I'm sure he is a customer of internet dating.

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  51. BAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Not even when RPatz has his greasy hair, unibrow, and grizzly adams beard, and his very uhm...interesting wool hippy like beenie will this douche bag EVER be hotter than Robert Pattinson!! I am surprised his head fit in the frame of the camera. W-O-W!!! LOL! I am almost shocked into silence. HAHA! Almost.

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  52. I read this last night, but couldn't pull my shit together enough to comment. I swear to Edward (long may he reign) that I know this guy's twin. He looks EXACTLY like this other douche nozzle that I used to know. They must be related because they are both mentally unstable, at best.

    Normally I would be jumping on the bandwagon--who am I kidding, I'd be pulling the wagon, singing loudly & off key--but, I don't believe in making fun of the handicapped. Clearly this man/boy is not well. I think we should help him find work to bolster his obviously waning ego. Do they still make after school specials? I also think he would be amazing in one of those "This is your brain on drugs" commercials. He could single-handedly win the war on drugs.

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  53. OMG you can't even drink him pretty! Really? I am just in shock how in the bloody h could he even think he compares. I agree this man child is not well. He is the reason that certain individuals should think long and hard before procreation.

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  54. BWWWWWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA! oh dear lord, there were so many great quotes in this entry, but here is my favorite and I'll shout it among the land!

    "SO hot that mere mortal women and their undergarments burst into flames at the sight of him"

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  55. He's the twin that fell in the toilet bowl during childbirth. And was left there for a while. That's why the cleaner is needed.

    If you are going to go there, and you can't even get your "twin's" name right, you deserve to be skewered. Although, I will admit that last shot of him ain't bad...

    Now I don't know what that thing is in the final photo, but I don't think I care.

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  56. @ FKat: LOL!!! That shit was funny

    @ Twilove1: He could maybe fool K Stew in the dark during one of her mad blinking fits

    Ladies: This is the saddest, funniest, most disturbing shite I have seen in a while.

    Please tell me one of you lives close enough to hire him for "a birthday party?" Can no one else see the EPIC POTENTIAL in that????

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  57. AW WTF! That was possibly the funniest and most insane thing I have seen this week! Completely delusional..."Patterson"--Classic! Maybe he can lure KStew away from Rob...LOL

    Thanks for the laugh, girls!

    TigerlilyRose

    PS. I am with Mrs. P..."slut's honor" is a fabulous phrase!

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  58. Ahhh now it all makes sense. I just realized that the bottle we think is toilet bowl cleaner is really a douche bag applicator for men...geez how did I miss that before my post last night?

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  59. sweet baby jebus... I need rob porn NOW to stop my eyes from burning!!

    Um, but seriously.... That was freakin HI-larious!
    I'd say more but Bad Vamps tight shirt is scaring me and I need to get off of your blog now!

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  60. @Rob's Bitch - oh that's too funny. Reminds me of an old movie called "Twins". One twin was Arnold Schwartzeneggar (pre-political career, in the middle of his bodybuilding years) and the other twin was Danny DeVito, the premise being that one twin "got all the good genes", leaving only crap for the other twin. Lol

    Fkat

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  61. @tsharee- damnit! You're either my new favorite commenter or my LEAST! First you make me wake up my hubby with my loud guffaw last night, now you've got me spitting my lunch all over my Iphone over your observation of the male douchbag. Heh heh.

    Fkat

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  62. That has just made my day :D I'm still going to be laughing about that when I go to bed tonight tee hee

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  63. I'm still loving everyone's comments, fab! Perhaps he should join the UK X-Factor twins Jedward as their missing triplet, because they think they look like Rob too apparently. They can all live deludedly together.

    OMG, the best VW ever! ishiz! hahaha!

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  64. This kids has just GOT to be kidding. There's no other explanation. Well, I guess insanity could be another one.

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  65. What a crack head. He looks more like a cross between Giovanni Ribisi and an old lesbian.

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  66. Ok, potty humor comes to mind here, as in butt-crumb, butt-drool that's why the toilet bowl cleaner is there as a prop for this overinflated fartbag!
    (Sorry for this LIndsay Lohan) but he looks like a bad version of her with a bad haircut and no makeup and starting hormones for the big sex change thaing, Clay A. should be insulted too. EWWWWWWWWW to the hell infinity!!!
    OH, and the girl/boy thing with the disco belt, even bigger EWWWWWWWWWW is that on hormones too!!! Oh for the love of Gawd where do these idiots get any idea they are even close to being thought of as wet panty material much less masculine, I can't tell what sex they are!!!! They look like ugly women with terrible fashion sense, where the hell are those fashion police when you need them!! Seriously these schmukers should have their own cable show as in Wayne's World...they are definitely in their own poor little basturds!
    OK, so I laughed my butt off and cleared the tears away and went back to the VF web site to see the RPatz photos again. OH PALEEEZ you girl/boys are hysterical! Thanks for the big gerfawww!

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  67. oh wow...all I can say is ick! Not Rpattz twin. Not sexier than RPattz. Not RPattz! On a side note ladies, I did finally give birth and luckily it wasn't until the 24th, I did however lose a bet with the SO about naming our son a twilight name if I went into labor at New Moon on the 20th. Damnit!

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  68. I've read the post twice, and I still don't know what the hell is going on. That guys poor family needs to get him the mental help he so obviously needs! LMFAO

    I agree, the whole look he has going on is more serial killer than sexy or hot. He has puffy alcohol eyes, is washed out with no definable features, and hello - he BLOW DRYS HIS HAIR! Something The Precious would never do.

    And really, new moon in the moonlight? I threw up in the back of my mouth and pissed myself at the same time.

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  69. Awww fuck! Not "Bad Vampire" again! It took me months to forget about him from the last time! AAAHHH! LOL!

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  70. I don't know if I've said this lately but I love all of you. And holy fucking shit are some of you BRUTAL! LOL!

    For those of you who are newer, about six(ish) months ago, STY and I stumbled upon bad vampire - he has a gazillion pictures floating around on the web. Anyhoo, we like to torture you folks with them every once in awhile but kind of got away from the habit.

    Shame on us. :)

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  71. What. A. Douchebag. Ugh. PUL-EEZE! In his dreams. Gah, he can't even get RPattz's name right, and the toilet bowl cleaner out of his 'hot' picture. And he can't be very bright (wink wink) if he says, "lighting" and not "lightning". A HUGE fucktard. I hope he's reading this. In your dreams baby, IN YOUR DREAMS.

    mmMoxie - LOL!!! Snort!

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  72. Ok, I just figured this out. Obviously he has trouble with the English language. He was trying to say he's "Robert Pattinson's Turd" and it came out "Robert Patterson's Twin".

    (Or is that an insult to Rob's shit?)

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  73. I just vomited a little in my mouth...

    Take that effin' twin.

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  74. Ang, I just threw up in my mouth too. ((shudder))
    Geez, Rob is going to get a complex if he finds out about this guy. Rob already thinks he looks like a burn victim that had reconstructive surgery. poor dude is being compared to THAT guy...now he's gonna think he looks like a transgender burn victim.
    oh Rob, you are so humble and adorable for not realizing you are a freaking gorgeous sex god.

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  76. I don't believe in making fun of the handicapped, but I believe that the just plain stupid deserve it. What. A. Wanker. Literally a wanker. He can't possibly get anyone to shag him. He looks just like this total serial-killer-of-the-future I went to school with. He couldn't get anyone to shag him either. Way to give this asstard the roasting he deserves, JJ! Keep those coals nice and hot.

    @Stan: Those Jedward wankstains make me want to burn my Irish passport. And birth certificate. Anything that says I come from the same country.

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  77. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  78. What a douchebag!! I bet he jacks off to picts of RPatz daily. (Not that there is anything wrong with that....)

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  79. At best this guy looks like RP's inbred 3rd cousin 4 times removed. MAYBE if he didn't have the beady shit brown eyes he could pass for RP's inbred 2nd cousin once removed.

    I'll be sending you a bill for my medical expenses. I laughed so hard I think I tore something fairly important in the breathing process.

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  80. OMG!! is this guy for real. I had to do one of those cartoon head shakes to make sure I was reading the captions. And he got the name wrong too. Come on, if your gonna try to say you are someones better looking tein, you could atleast get the name right. And the captions, seriously??? And the last one, is he channeling Joan Jett?? Thank you for sharing,this made my day.

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  81. Holy bejezzes, Batman, is that guy fugly or what? I have nothing else to say except delusions come in all shapes and sizes. Oh and that last pic totally looks like he's a drag queen. Just sayin'.

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  82. Great post., thanks for the laughs. Let's hope it is a joke and he does not really believe this...

    While I personally find confidence sexy as Hell...there is a line that once crossed puts you right into a Fantasy World...where Gollum is your brother.

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  83. NO FUCKING WAY!!! I can't even begin to tell you what a complete loser that guy (?) is. ROB is one of a kind and the nerve of that guy-geez....

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  84. Will I get in trouble for posting this?? It only links to the pictures and not his webpage (you can take it down if you want), but that picture of him with the cat is the best one yet!!!!!! http://www.flickr.com/photos/robertpattersonlookalike

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  85. Sure makes you wonder if it's serious or a joke? Either way, it's attention-seeking, which automatically makes him annoying...

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  86. Umm...yeah.....right.....

    Does this guy have 12 feet of shit in front of his eyes?


    Love the toilet cleaner in the background....nothing says "sexier than Rpatz" than that!!

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  87. pant pant pant....
    NO NOT FROM RPT! From laughing so hard at you ladies giving him the royal Twitarded roast!

    OMG that has to be a joke, right? wow. that is quite delusional.

    ooohhh. ooooh. deep breathing... needed... too mmuch funnny...

    and yes- slut's honor- the new vow amongst twitards.
    thank you ladies...

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  88. Gosh this Dude is incredible! And hey, The Bad Vamp I remember him!!! Cool that you took him out!

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