Okay. So by now I'm sure that all of you have heard about and/or seen those fuck-awful pap pictures of poor Robert Pattinson trying to have a boy's night out. Honestly, we feel bad for the guy. But, being who we are, we feel compelled to address this situation in the only way we know how: by fucking making fun of it.
Speaking of the "paps", I find it humorous that the nickname for them is the same thing we ladies have to endure once a year. So, basically, the paparazzi are to RPattz what a freezing cold speculum and a set of stirrups are to us.
Anyhoo. You know us: we love us some Robert Pattinson. You can't commit to the time suck that is being a Twilight blogger without feeling the luuuurrrv. But, as everyone who has been paying attention for a little while knows, we poke fun at everything. No exceptions. When the shit hits the fan, the fan makes shitty jokes.
That being said, since we're just as shameless as the next person, when we heard that, er, RPattz [cough**OPattz**cough] was in town, we decided we were gonna beat those paps fuckers at their own game. Frankly, I think our stalk-y efforts yielded superior results! We're not gonna quit our lame day jobs, but if we did , those assholes better watch their backs.
Plus, we'd rather you check these out instead of those other fucking photos.
I mean, seriously, we hounded poor OPattz...
We snapped pics of him "takin' care of bizness"
Doin' his laundry...
Hangin' with some celebs...
Chillin' at home with his peeps...
We even got him headin' into his new "home base" where someone cough**KStew**cough may be waiting!
In the end, despite the fact that OPattz was more than a little pissed that we made him drop his shit, he was nice enough to show us some of his mad shiznit dancin' skillz.
We heart you, OPattz!!
Here it is...your moment of Robert Pattinson
2 hours ago