Saturday, December 19, 2009

Saturday Morning Randomness


You know how Snarkier Than You usually puts up videos of RPattz hawtness on the weekend?

Well, she's a little preoccupied right now so I said I would do this morning afternoon's post, which leaves you with... well, shit.


Seriously, it's really, really funny shit. Promise. C'mon, you know I love to discuss anything poop-related! I just can't help myself.

First off - you must go check out this story on fanfiction.net. It's a short one that was brought to my attention by @jittzpattzing on Twitter and holy-fucking-ass-apples is it funny. I was super stoked to read this because it combines two of my favorite topics - Twilight and butt nuggets.

Moving on.

This video doesn't have anything to do with cleaning out your colon but still includes shit anyway. As in, this guy should thank his lucky stars these Twilight fans didn't beat the shit out him.

Unfortunately, I can't embed the video so you'll have to go here to watch a bunch of Twi-fans get punked. Hard.

My apologies for this, um, shitty post. However, I couldn't leave you completely empty-handed so... Consider this the cherry on top of a pile of turd. [Ew, that actually grossed me out!]

My vagina says, "enough with the crap! Gimme my jawporn!!"

30 comments:

  1. HA! I adore poop talk. My favorite saying that make everyones eyes roll is, "it's hot as doo-do in here!" Can't wait to read and watch the items in the post.

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  2. I was trying to stifle my laughing when reading that ff story, that my fiance in the other room said "Bless You" when some of it snuck out and apparently sounded like a sneeze.It was when I started wheezing and he asked if I was laughing or crying... to which I had to respond 'both'.

    The punked thing was just MEAN - I would have totally been that girl at the end. Bastards.

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  3. I love crap talk too! Poo and Twilight... what could make a Saturday better? Uh, maybe it's the gratuitous jaw porn...

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  4. I'm SO glad I read the fanfic AFTER that video. Seriously, I don't get mad about ppl poking fun at Twilight. In fact I encourage it, but when you waste fans time and money, that's a whole nothah' story. JJ I agree, they are very lucky they didn't get mobbed by that group (although to me it looked like an audience full of barbies). Anyhow, I read the fanfic afterwards and couldn't stop laughing. oooh howwwll! that was funny shit! literally.
    WV: liess (all lies I tell you!)

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  5. Wow I would have beat the shit out of that guy!!!!!! I too encourage poking fun at Twilight but shit dude these people wasted time and money for your stupid fuckin prank! Now off to read the fanfic

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  6. He's very lucky that they were all adults in there. I'd like to see him try that on a room full of angry hormonal Tweens.....

    Dude would be neutered the hard way.

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  7. i'll go grab my lunch and THEN watch this...poop+lunch time not getting along very well...

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  8. Warning: punking twi-hards could cause death. It will probably become the latest craze in suicide with having an equal success rate with screaming "I'm Robert Pattinson!!" and then running down dark ally.

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  9. I have to wonder if that actually wasn't a set up. I honestly can't imagine paying money to see a movie that you're obviously looking forward to seeing, only to be told by some dude that the movie sucks. He's lucky he didn't get his ass kicked.

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  10. Gosh...i laughe so hard reading the circo de cullen that now my family must think i am crazy (a little more) cause i'm in my bedroom laughing like possesed. TOO MUCH!.

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  11. Just read that fic....howling with laughter the whole time....love Esme's "Bella, did you shoo-shoo?" I can't stop laughing - my stomach is hurting!

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  12. I can't remember the last time I've laughed so hard. The ff story was pooptastic and the pics you found for the post are funny as hell, too.

    @TO Twicat - I don't think that prick would have lasted five minutes in a room full of Twitards!!!

    @LJM64 - Esme asking Bella if she took a shoo-hoo (hell, I'm laughing again just typing it) had me roaring!

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  13. My favorite line:
    "I’m a shitty girlfriend."
    It would never be more true than in this fanfic.
    That was funny and horrifying all at the same time.

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  14. I read the story when you posted it on Twitter a few days ago ... and OH MY FRIGGIN GOODNESS- HILARIOUS! I laughed for like ever and then called half of everyone I know and made them read it, too. Good stuff. And, seriously, why didn't they broach the shitty subject in the book? Stephenie Meyer- I'M TALKING TO YOU!!!

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  15. I was also laughing and crying at the same time at the FF post. It would have been easier to just howl with laughter, but that would have been pretty hard to describe to DH, who thinks the whole Twilight thing is pretty strange.

    For the love of all that is holy, that was very, very fucking funny.

    If that dude had been in a room of true Twitards, I think we would have left him in pieces.

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  16. I just got around to watching the "Funny or Die" vid - those, folks were seriously calm. I'm wondering what was conveniently edited out of that video.

    That took serious ovaries to do that.

    I only saw the one security guard up there, I wonder what was going through his mind as this went down.

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  17. Reading that story made me stressed out FOR her! GAH! Thats horrible! And hilarious.

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  18. OME, I thought I was to die I was laughing so hard at the ff. I was completely embarrassed for her, but couldn't help myself. My boyfriend wanted to know what was wrong because he just knew there was nothing on TV and there was no video playing on the computer. He just thought the whole idea of the story was gross.

    And, I will be calling it a shoo-shoo from now on...I think my mother will approve.

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  19. I just watched the video and that guy is lucky he hasn't had a horrifying night-rape by fucking fangless, sparkly, Twihards!

    As much as an asshole this guys was for the punk, did anyone else think that maybe it WAS kind of stupid to think you could see the movie the night of the premiere? Just sayin.

    Okay - now off to read the funny FF...

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  20. HOLY SHIT!!! Literally! LMFAO!

    So - I read it twice, once by myself - laughing nonstop to the inescapable knowledge of my daughter, then to my daughter - who laughed SO hard! See - we think "shoo-shoo" is pretty f'n funny around our house, so I just edited out the f-bombs and the rest was fine.

    Mr. SV is going to have to read this!

    @JJ - Fucking Fabulous find! THANK YOU! And thanks for reposting my new favorite Robcrack. He's pretty damn beautiful damnit.

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  21. Oh...my...God, you're not going to believe this, but I just popped my fanfic cherry on Shits and Giggles! Bwahahaha!! I had printed off the first two chapters of Wide Awake, but was unable to read it yet (this after I promised Under My Edbrella I would be cherry popped by last Monday), and your description of it being "short" enticed me. Seeing as how I was endlessly entertained by your post of Twilight with Farts, this was just perfect for me. Apparently I am not a 47 year-old mother of three, I am still in middle school.

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  22. @Z Any Mouse - Was this not the most hilarious one-shot ff ever?! I died laughing.

    Off topic - Did you get together today with Twilove1 and F-Kat?!

    It's still game night here with my daughter's friends, but I snuck in here on our break to check in.

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  23. I have never tried SO hard to not laugh out loud at work before. That FanFic story was freaking hilarious! When they tried to flush and it overflowed, I audibly cracked up at my cubicle lol.

    Crappy post JJ! :P

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  24. @17foreverlisa - Yes! F-Kat, Twilove1, and I had a raucous time together. Thank you so much for connecting us. I'll send pics as soon as I get them off my camera (I don't have an iPhone like everyone else in the world). I'm off to the gym first though, to work off the tamales I'm going to be shoving in my piehole for Christmas.

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  25. @Z Any Mouse - Thanks for the update! Can't wait to see the pics. I'll wait for you to send them to me then before I do the post I have in mind :)

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  26. new moon movie of twilight saga is outstanding !enjoyed a lot watching twilight new moon!!

    http://www.twilightnewmoon.info

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  27. Congratulations Z!!! I'm SO happy you've joined the other side of Twitardedness - FAN FICITON!

    Now - you MUST read another. Check out JJ's 15 Step. It's good stuff. And don't worry, the chapters in most ff are short enough to be read at one sitting, just not continuing on to the next chapter is the hard part. Well - for me at least.

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  28. @Z Any Mouse - Was this not the most hilarious one-shot ff ever?! I died laughing.

    Off topic - Did you get together today with Twilove1 and F-Kat?!

    It's still game night here with my daughter's friends, but I snuck in here on our break to check in.

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  29. My favorite line:
    "I’m a shitty girlfriend."
    It would never be more true than in this fanfic.
    That was funny and horrifying all at the same time.

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  30. Warning: punking twi-hards could cause death. It will probably become the latest craze in suicide with having an equal success rate with screaming "I'm Robert Pattinson!!" and then running down dark ally.

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