Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Tell Us What YOU Want In 2010!

I'm frustrated, too.

Aside from RPatts naked in your bed. We can't help you there... And we love you, but even if we had the means to get RPatts naked in someone's bed, it wouldn't be yours. Unless you weren't home. Sorry. But we're sure you understand.

Anyway...

Not too long ago, Jenny Jerkface and I were mulling over the general content of Twitarded and began to wonder if maybe there was something missing, besides maturity and class. I mean, over time, our posts have metamorphosed from semi-chaste middle-schoolers giggling over poorly-drawn penis pictures to full-on drunken-college-freshman-at-a-frat-party slutty. And we're largely OK with that, for better or for worse.

But now we have a whole new year (or most of it - c'mon - you know how we roll) stretched out before us, and we want to make it the best year ever for us and for for you! Soooo tell us how to make that happen! Easy, right?

We've always considered Twitarded to be a group effort. We wouldn't be here if you weren't here, too. Sure, even if nobody had ever found our blog we would likely still be lobbing Twilight-related musings back and forth on occasion, debating the merits of the contact lenses in Twilight vs. New Moon and wondering where in the world RPatts and KStew are hiding out and how we can catch Rob when he's all vulnerable and on the rebound and needs a shoulder to cry on (amongst other things), but YOU are what primarily drives us. Your comments, your emails, your tweets [all of which we read voraciously whether or not we ever have ourselves pulled together enough to respond - which we don't...] - all encouraging us to keep on dishing up whatever it is we are serving here on a daily basis. 'Cause you like it. And we do, too.

That said, tell us your deepest most secret wishes for 2010. And Twitarded.

Things we already know:

  • You want to go to Forks with us (which is excellent! dates tba but we're thinking September)
  • You like poop jokes & fart jokes and JJ's tendency to get all crazy and scatological



  • Everything sounds better when sprinkled with gems from "Creative Cursing." Donkey muffs." See?

  • You want RPatts to show up at your house looking like this (yeah we do, too).

Tell us the rest! What do you love most about Twitarded? What do you hate? [it's that twat waffle JJ, right? c'mon - you can tell me - no one else is listening... just whisper it for my ears only... what? it's me you hate? ok, lay it on me, string bean! I can take it!] Do you think our posts are too wordy? Are you dying for us to be more wordy? Would you love to read about our thoughts on things that are not Twi-related even more than the amount of stuff we sneak in here under the pretense that it is somehow Twi-related even though that connection can be as flimsy as what Bella wears in most fanfics before Domward/Darkward/Beautiful Bastard rips it off of her???

Leave your thoughts in the comments! More content? Less? Changes? More underwear???

["the undies" hiding in my dresser - scares the bejeebus out of me EVERY TIME.]

111 comments:

  1. I want to be funny and write "no comment" but that isn't very constructive but then neither is my answer... I like Twitarded the way it is. Crazy, funny, filled with pictures, great followers, great stories, and the awesome JJ and STY. Sorry I don't have anything else for you but I am sure others will be able to offer you something more constructive if need be.

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  2. I am much too old to find that fart/burp video as funny as I do! Can't help it, it's laugh out loud tears running down the cheeks funny. And you want to change your blog? I think not. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Me likey youse two and the blog just like it is. It's my 'happy' place.

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  3. I love Twitarded just the way it is too! You make me laugh every day and I appreciate it. Also, you are my link to the Schmexy side...I had never even heard of Fanfiction before Twitarded. For that, certain parts of my anatomy Thank you many many many many many times over! Without you...I would not have a FSE standing in my bedroom as we speak either. Yeah..you twihotties are pretty much the bomb. Hugs and Twisses~ Fanpire in TN
    PS) I have never honestly thought I was going to pee on myself from laughing as hard as with pantygate. Classic!

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  4. For me, its the humour, and biting wit! Seeing all things Twilight from a more....."experienced" point of view.

    The Snarkier and Jerkier, the better imho!

    And I love the fanfic reccomendations, and random stories. Your point of view on the goings on of the Precious and friends.

    I don't think you ladies need any suggestions on what to do in 2010.

    I've been following you guys for almost a year now, and your blog just seems to evolve in a natural direction- intelligent, smutty and delicious- just how we love it.

    This is coming from someone who until finding Twitarded, didn't read a blog, much less than create a username specifially to make comments on said blog! Just keep it up! :)


    Can't wait to see all of you ladies in FORKS!!!!!!!!!!!

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  5. ♫ Cue cheese karaoke music ♫

    Don't go changing, to try and please me
    You never let me down before
    Don't imagine you're too familiar
    And I don't see you anymore
    I wouldn't leave you in times of trouble
    We never could have come this far
    I took the good times, I'll take the bad times
    I'll take you just the way you are

    (sniff sniff)

    Seriously. If it ain't broke, don't fix it!

    I love the way you guys find something Twilighty in just about everything. Kind of like...Six Degrees of Twilight Separation!

    BTW - I have tears in my eyes and I coughed up a lung from laughing so hard at the video.

    Only you guys would post this!

    And for that, I thank you and love you more than my luggage!

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  6. Hi, I'm new here, and I think you're perfect as you are. But then, I'm new here and I don't know shit. So maybe don't listen to me. Or do. Really, it's your choice. Okay, gotta stop replaying the Twilight fart video and get back to Eclipse!

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  7. I don't really have any suggestions, as i love twitarded as it is
    BUT my husband totally just sushed me for laughing hysterically to the fart video. He totally doesn't understand.

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  8. Feel exactly the way OutOfTheTwiCloset and Myg feel.

    Don't go changin' to try to please us.
    Your perfect just the way you are.

    FFFOOORRRKKKSSSSSSSS 2010. Can not wait.

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  9. yep. don't change a thing. i too, love you just the way you are...
    :)
    E

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  10. ok you guys are KILLING me!! i am trying not to make a spectacle of myself sitting her on the couch with mr. snarky and...it's not going well. all all. i was relatively under control even after all the wonderful "don't change" comments from Dangrdafne, Fanpire, OutOfTheTwiCloset...and then I got to TO Twicat and I fucking LOST it!!! aaaand not I will not be able to get that song out of my head. damn you!!! what have you done to me?! in a good way. ish.

    @myg sorry for the distraction! but not really... : )

    idomoodou2 - yeah, few people outside of the twidom get it. ok, make that "no people outside of the twidom get it" - but then again it IS fart jokes, so maybe if he watched it...??? and i think it's hysterical that your S/O is shushing YOU for lol-ing at fart jokes! i think we have morphed into a bunch of dudes - lol!

    : )

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  11. I'm going to agree with everyone. We all kinda lurve ya just the way you are. The writing here is what drew me in last march-ish and has kept me here. So makes those posts as long as you want.
    But that being said - I don't want you guys to crack under the pressure of a)posting every day and b)making everything Twilight/fanfic related. So go ahead - post whatever you guys want, I'm good with it. Honestly, I don't know how you guys do it.

    Oh and FFFOOOOOOORRRRRKKKKKSSSSSSSSSSSS!

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  12. Holy Mommy! I just cried myself silly and screamed with laughter watching the twilight farts! I think the neighbors will be calling! Holy farting vampires Batman and you want to change something? I hope not!! I love this blog, fart jokes, poop jokes, references to body parts and all, I just laugh myself off the chair every day. Love you bitches, like I said earlier today I just saw NM and agreed with your comments on the stinky running through the trees with the goofy clothes (that would have been lovely with the special fart sound effects), was that a male directors idea of thinking it's what women want to see on screen? let's see now, I think he and the make-up person (Edwards especially) should be dealt with, how about huge wolf farts? Then fire them!
    I just love you 2 and your humor and I laugh so much, it's too much fun. Keep doing what you're doing.

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  13. My very favorite Twitarded post was this: http://twitarded.blogspot.com/2009/04/preggers-controversy-in-breaking-dawn.html Honestly, I would love to not have to get into Rob and Kristen's personal lives. We all know he's hot, they are together and fangirls hate her for it and it would be nice to go to a Twi site and just laugh at a million things Twi. Edward, Bella, Wolves, Vampires, etc. Gosh there's tons of good stuff there. Love the Forks stuff and also love hearing about you guys cause you are so fun - stripper stuff this weekend was a blast! Everyone always seems to relate Twi to their real life somehow right? I just feel like this fandom (and not Twitarded) went from crazy over Twilight to drooling over RPattz and not that I don't wish he were knocking on my door while hubby's out of town, it just gets old sometimes. JMO Love you guys! You're hysterical!

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  14. OMFG!!!!! i can almost see to type, the fart video is a fucking RIOT!!!!!!,im sitting here trying not to wake my whole house up ,whoever thinks this shit up is a freekin genious!!!!!!! and as far as the site goes, it aint broke so dont fuck with it :)!!!
    LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!! you bring a smile to my face daily, wich lately has been hard to do, so i thank u!!!!! and as for getting rob in my bed,well i jave him over my bed ...so close enough, course hubbys pissed, but i threatened him with no sex for a year if he laid a finger on it!!!!!!
    and ive shortened my screen name from tina cullen pattinson to tcp!!!

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  15. yes yes yes, stay the way you are. I smile lovingly at my computer everytime it shows me a new post from you two, keep up the good work!

    peace , love, twilight baby.

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  16. How about a JJ & STY reality show? You could film something like....A Day in the Life -Being Twitarded. I'm sure you're just as entertaining as "Snookie" and "The Situation" from Jersey Shore. Just don't get yourselves punched in the face.

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  17. Love Twitarded! No changes necessary. :-)

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  18. Seriously, I can't concentrate because of the fuckhawt pics of RPatts you felt the need to torture me with!!!

    Oh, more comments from the Mommy na Jerkface are always fun.

    Just keep being balls out hilarious and I'll be happy as a bearded clam......uh...I mean, you girls rock!!

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  19. I love reading your blog every night. I really love the Mommy(not a jerface)emails, O-Pattz, and the adventures of FSE and Mini-E. My favorite post was when FSE met the little group. Fucking Funny. Love Ya'll

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  20. Definitely bring out O-Pattz now and then....I never laughed so hard when he was posing and dancing and doing the Pattz thing.

    Otherwise you two chicas are perfection - no need changing.

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  21. Love everything!
    Okay, maybe bring Mini-E back every once in a while. Quit hiding him in your cleavage couch. Yeah, O-Pattz (we did see him over xmas break) too.
    Face in hole!
    Other than that, keep on truckin' babe-ba!

    FORKS!

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  22. You know what. I love you just as you guys are. Post what you feel comes naturally that day/week/whatever. I love it all, and will always love Twitarded.

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  23. OMG the youtube vid with the farts was f*cking hysterical!!! (hadn't seen that one!)
    OMG..seriously, I thought I was the only one who found poop and fart jokes to be God-like. When I found your site, I was in heaven. And, it even inspired me to create my own. You guys are absof*ckinglutely fantastic. My request is (if I can't come along) to see and hear all about your trip to forks...from a Twitarded perspective! Otherwise, don't change a thing. Well..more Rob is always better...but u do a great job!
    Cheers and Happy 2010!
    xo
    Jen @ sotwired

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  24. No special requests from me (other than the Forks trip, that I REALLY want to do!) but I just had to say you cracked me the fuck up with "the undies scaring the bejeebus out of you". I could just imagine you opening the drawer & Edwards face scaring the crap out of you! lmfao....ahhhh See, that's what I love about your blog. The laughs. I don't get alot of laughs in my RL so I depend you crazy, witty ladies to give me that. Just keep on doing what you're doing & I'll be happy!

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  25. I DO want you guys 'just the waaaay you are.' My all-time favorite post was the RL-Twilife comparison... sigh. Suggestion: Taycob's 18th birthday, coming up soon! Celebration post complete with inappropriate jokes, please!

    I'm not one for the poop jokes, but I <3 to read about The Precious and get ff recs. After that great list of recs a week ago or whenever it was... I am pretty much willing to give you my body. Or whatever's left of it after Wideawakeward (my fav!) and the gang finish making me their bitch. There might not be much left of me; I will have Mr. XKR pack me in ice (while he's shoveling off the driveway AGAIN, stupid winter, although after TB&TC, I wanted to go put my hoo-ha in the snow because it was melting the chair) and ship me to TH!ILT Ranch. Feel free to use me or sell me for parts.

    We're here because you're awesome. So don't gooo changing.

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  26. Here's what I want in 2010. Got a pen? Write it down. I want 2 Jersey girls with a wicked warped sense of humor and the uncanny ability to string sentences together. Plus I'd like over a thousand crazy women from around the globe to make me feel that it's perfectly okay to be obsessed with four innocuous books, two movies and a British guy young enough to be my -uh- nephew (who is in dire need of a Mrs. Robinson to his Fifty Shades. Or vise-versa.)

    And once that's all handled, I'd like more mini-E, Mommy.na.Jerkface, Sister Snarky and honestly, I think it's uber cool that you two are band chicks. If it's a slow Twi-week, I KNOW you have other amazing stories and I'm good with that.

    PS - I also need a good priest to exorcise me of the demon called Fanfic. That's Latin for "You'll go blind if you keep doing that."

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  27. Oh, and I freaking LOVE Creative Cursing. More from that please!

    @suzspetals... holyeffinghell, LMAO. I should already be blind. My eyeballs should already have fallen out and rolled away as fast as they can.

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  28. I think you just supplied me with the ammunition to insert Twi into the lives of all my non-twi co-workers- Twifarts. These guys love fart jokes.

    JJ and STY - stay just as crazy and outragoue as you are! But sneak in a little Mini-E once in a while. My mini-E wants to see what his brothers are up to.

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  29. @XKR - Ooh, ditto on the creative cursing. I have to get that book.
    Re: fanfic. I held out for so long and now I can't believe that all I do in my precious spare time is read about the same two fucking characters, well, fucking. I'm sure it would enhance my marriage if I was hitched, but instead it just increases my potential for unnatural, premature blindness. FML

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  30. You gals are awesome! Thanks for supplying all the twismut and don't change a thing!!!!! I wish my real friends who are into Twilight were half as cool as you ladies are! (They don't like to pick apart the movie like I sometimes do...like doesn't Angela notice that her boyfriend is gay?)

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  31. i love you guys. the best day last year was finding your blog and realizing i don't need to be committed. keep up the deviant work.

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  32. OMG and I just watched the Twilight Farts OH DEAR GOD!!!! That was fucking hilarious! I don't care what anyone says farts are funny

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  33. From Sparkle Peen to Pantygate 2009! From Mini-E to FSE! From pooping in RPatz's trailer to Alex's Lemonade Stand!

    YOU LADIES ROCK!!! I honestly can't imagine you any other way. I think we all feel a part of Twitarded because the blog has morphed around us and with our input.

    STY & JJ - if you keep questioning yourselves, I'll have to come over 3,000 miles and cut you bitchs! Only a little though, so you could still write daily for Twitarded. And not on the face - ouch. Okay - so maybe I'll come there and just shake a fist at you condescendingly. There! Ha! I'm SO mean, huh?

    FORKS?!!! WTF? I'm gone a coupla days, and NOW you're coming to MY neck of the woods (literally it's pretty wooded around here)?!

    HELL FUCKING YEAH BABY!!! I'll be there with a case of wine and my fuck-me boots!

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  34. Oh hell - I almost forgot FANFIC!

    "Twilight Fan Fiction - Improving the Sex Lives of Women Across the World!"

    And I think MORE is always good when it comes to Twitarded: more posts about who-cares-how-it's-related-to-Twilight, more Mini-E, more Vanity Fair pics (I can't get enough), more STY and JJ, more Mommy na Jerkface, more OPatz, more drinking, more dirty-filthy whores who are just like me, more Twitarded!

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  35. Well, I feel like I have nothing original to add here but you all know I am a wordy bitch so we will see how this goes down......

    All in all I wouldn't change a damn thing. I love you both just the way you are and then some...you know it is true. But since you asked........I will agree that I miss Mini E a wee bit. Gawd I love that little guy and really he is what bonded us and our mutual love for him led to our little loveline from your East Coast to my West Coast. This is important stuff and he needs to be appreciated for the funny man and Twi-buddy love connector that he is.

    I also agree that I love reading about any of your antics Twi-related or not though I must say I also love SEEING and HEARING you two the mostest. Since STY has seemingly gotten over the fear of herself being seen by all the Twitards of Twitardia I would love to see more funny vids if the feeling is right...Oh and OPattz too.

    Other than that...it is all just one big clusterfuck of pure snarky goodness, hilarity and dirtyhoor brilliance....don't go a changin'.

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  36. Oh and I CANNOT believe you just posted a sneaky candid of the "PANTIES"! Tempting fate much?

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  37. Oh my darlings, please do not change a thing cause Twitarded is awesome just as it is!!

    I could use your help with one thing, though: I casually mentioned the Forks trip to my hubby yesterday, but now I need some good arguments to seal the deal. I suspect he thought I was kidding. Does he not know me at all?

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  39. No! Don't change. You're perfect! But like Cullenary Curser said, you don't have to feel obligated to post every day. Don't spread yourself too thin. I will be a devout follower of yours forever.

    @Twilove - when I whined to my husband how my ho's are all going to Forks together, he said that I should start a fund to collect the money to go on the trip. I was like, are you fucking serious? And his answer threw me on my ass, cause this is what he said: "With those women? I'd let you go anywhere!" And you know why he said that? Because he realized that ever since I started spending a lot of time with you horny bithces, our sex life reached a new high. So that is my suggestion to you - fulfill some of his sexual fantasies, and then let him know that it is your Twi ho's who suggested that and made you open to all kind of sexually deviant behaviour. If that doesn't seal the deal, nothing won't. :D

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  40. Since sometimes I live vicariously thru you guys (esp the NM premiere loved that!)I was hoping your BIG mission this year might be to meet RPattz like at a premiere or outside the Today show and take his pic. I'm not going to TRIPLE DOG DARE you guys to make that happen and I know you've got Forks on your plate now (pun intended) but that would really make my Twitarded 2010!!!!

    Fanfic Fridays? Can we all have read the same fanfic by Friday and comment on it? I really love the fanfic comments everyone makes on this site. Guest commentary from the authors? esp since a lot of them are your followers!

    Otherwise, just keep on surprising us and fascinating us!!!

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  41. Love your site as it is now. The only improvement would be if we could somehow get Twitarted interviews of cast members. I am tired of hearing the same old stuff asked of these guys. Would love a fresh approach. Seriously, the auction for the dinner with Peter Fach and Kellan should just be the first of many attempts. I would love to hear your interview of these guys. Maybe interviews at the conventions Or get you two on the red carpet, somehow it needs to happen

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  42. Oh, Twitarded.....you ARE my life now. You rock my world in so many ways.
    The only things I could think to maybe add would be MORE pics of Rob, like that first one which just about made me fall out of my seat when I pulled up the blog today.
    Also, here is a potential blog topic (I don't THINK it's already been done)...."Who would you have cast in the various Twi-roles"?

    Also, @ TO Twicat - LOVE your Steel Magnolias shout out....You are a pig from hell!!!

    I freaking love you guys!

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  43. And....now that I just watched the fart video, I have to go and reapply my makeup before I go to work...thanks a lot.
    WV - nesse.

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  44. @ suszpetals - perfectly stated and I agree.

    I didn't realize I missed mini E until so many people mentioned him.


    wv = panifyin - made me think of that drawer picture for some reason ;)

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  45. You guys are fucking awesome! Just keep doing what your doing, i love your site soooo much!


    And thanks for posting the fart video, too damn funny!!!

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  46. I forgot about Mini E.
    (you need to find out how to get the panties in Zazzle merch!)
    Love love love you guys. You rock my morning - every morning. I call it my 'edward crack'. Everyone at work just backs away when I get it and sign on.
    Don't change.
    See you in Forks!

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  47. I am new too Twitard, and love every blasted word you lovely ladies write. I can't imagine changing a thing!

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  48. @Jelena@twiholic and @Starlit Violets - my husband would let me go anywhere as long as he keeps gettin' all these blow jobs thanks to FANFICS!!!

    @CullenLover07 - I'm from S. WI, we're practically neighbors. I'm really thinking of going to FORKS depends on the dates/$$$ and all that crap

    And Twitarded, don't change, continue to be your snarky, pervy, foul-mouthed selves, I didn't know there were so many others like me out there!

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  49. Your comments are just as awesome and touching and funny as they were last night (so it wasn't just the cocktails - lol!) and i feel all warm and fuzzy and i have spit my tea all over everything. several times. so thanks for that.

    I am glad that the fart vid was a hit - Mr. Snarky was dying when I was watching it, mostly because he was in another room so all he heard were the farts and he was baffled - lol! And we'll definitely try to get Mini-E out and about more often... We have a plan for OPatts to make an appearance soon-ish (we haven't told OPattz yet so mum's the word - we kinda gotta sneak up on him and throw a bag over his head and then ply him with whiskey before we can have our way with him).

    @Suzspetals - "Fanfic. That's Latin for "You'll go blind if you keep doing that." bwahaha!! too funny. and true. be careful. but we can start the "Blinded By FanFic" donation page if need be...

    @VitaminR - somone created a Rob vibrator - a fucking vibrator with The Precious in it!! Robrator!!! I DARE anyone to give me shit about those edward-underpattz!!! lol! but seriously, it was time. and i hid them away in my dresser [please note: not in my underwear drawer because i would never wear them!!!] and the DO actually startle me - i'll be digging for a t-shirt and suddenly BAM! there's Edward glowering up at me - SCREECH!

    : )

    Love you guys to death and wish I had the time to spend replying to each and every comment but I suppose I had better work because an unemployed Snarky is never gonna be able to make it to FOOOOOOORRRRKKS!!! [no matter how many sexual favors she grants.]

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  50. i love you ladies! i know everyone has already said this, but you guys don't need to change anything! although someone did suggest a "day in the life of being twitarded" and that sounds pretty fuckin' sweet. fo sho. i've only been following you since last may-ish and you were the first ever blog i've EVER followed... i've kind of thought of you as my gateway drug to the twidom... like the marijuana to the twicrack so to speak. so thanks for getting me hooked ya whores! <3 you!!!

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  51. @STY - did you mean to say "in it"

    "someone created a Rob vibrator - a fucking vibrator with The Precious in it!! "

    What exactly of Rob's would be "in it"???? yikes

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  52. Don't change! Well, not much. I do miss Mini E. My Mini E hasn't had an outing in a while either, so I can't talk but still.

    I wanna go to Forks! I never really thought about it before, but it would be a total blast with you guys. I would like to be excused from chipping in to JJ's bail fund though, cos the flight will have cleaned me out.

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  53. whoa ladies...hold the damn phone...no need to mess with perfection.

    You guys are doing a fuckawesome job and have the knack to know what we want anyway because, lets face it, we are all the same pervy ladies on the inside.

    So keep it up, go with your gut, and most importantly, keep it dirty!! ;)

    Oh, and smutty fan fic recs. We gotta share the love....

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  54. Ok... More Underwear will be on their way soon... and I just saw a picute of Kellan that I'm Dyyyyying to turn into underwear!

    Besides the Forks trip, please don't make it on September 25 that's my anniversary and I'm sure hubby won't forgive me for slinking off then.

    What I would love to see from you ladies is an IRIFF created by you two to twilight! How ya lik'n that Arizona?

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  55. @Dangrdafne - oh yeah, that's what i meant to say - "in it" - which i realize now that i read it sounds pretty implausible, but here you go - check it (& tell JaG I sent ya'! lol) -

    : )


    http://bit.ly/7gMUB6

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  56. @Dangrdafne In fact I should have done a whole post on that thing - haha! Nobody else did and damn it was funny...

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  57. @sty oh my I should not have looked at that... As I do believe I audibly gasped here in the office, I should have known better...

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  58. @STY - I am guessing I had better wait to check that link until I am at home today ;)

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  59. LOVE your stuff, I echo the "don't go changin'" stanza! I can't believe either of you haven't become professional writers, you're so damn good! ;) (or maybe you are and your stuff is so serious you're keeping it far away from Twi-dom?)

    The only thing I would beg for is more fan-fic recomendations -- as I am now hopelessly into them and would love to just jump from one great nasty one with a decent storyline and believable characters to another. Yum! I second the vote for Fan Fic Fridays.

    Love you guys, wish I could go to Forks but prob not in my cards this year. However if you booked some talent to accompany us on the trip....I might have to rob a liquor store to fund THAT adventure! ;)

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  60. Don't.Change.Anything.
    Except one thing : if you want to write more often and longer posts, go ahead, I never get enough. You ladies rock. You've turned me into a Twitarded-addict.

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  61. So, I don't think I've ever posted and I'm trying to change that so I'm not just out here lurking. But I'm concerned about you thinking about change. We follow you the way you are for a reason. I check Twitarded before I check my email for a reason. There are SSSSOOOO many Twisites now, and they pretty much cover everything. Except drunk freshman sluttiness and Twifarts. So you HAVE to stay you! Although, since you asked....More scruffy, brooding, fresh out of the shower pics of RPattz.
    More fan fic recs. Because we trust your judgement to lead us to the best smut!

    Much love!

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  62. It ain't broke - don't fix it!! I love Twitarded just the way it is!!! You ladies rock and always make me laugh - especially appreciated now that my job has become a shit factory! As we used to say, "Keep on keepin' on!"

    Hugs,
    R

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  63. @Dangrdafne - the link only goes to Random Acts of Rob but there IS a picture of a sex toy, soo... your call!

    : )

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  64. i'll just let the romcom classic "bridget jones's diary" do my speaking for me;

    "I don't think you're an idiot at all. I mean, there are elements of the ridiculous about you. Your mother's pretty interesting. And you really are an appallingly bad public speaker. And, you tend to let whatever's in your head come out of your mouth without much consideration of the consequences... But the thing is, what I'm trying to say, very inarticulately, is that, in fact, perhaps despite appearances, I like you, very much. Just as you are."

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  65. I don't have time to read all the comments yet, but promise to go back this afternoon and read every word. First of all, JJ and STY you rock my world, and I love the variety, witty humor, good writing (I don't know if people ever tell you that both of you write really well!), and general snarkiness.

    If all else fails, post a video about farts because I cannot stop laughing!

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  66. Well fuck me gentle with the chainsaw! That Robrator is some serious shit! I wouldn't dare put THAT in me, I mean fuck! haha

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  67. If you didn't change a thing, I wouldn't love you any less. If you changed everything, I wouldn't love you any less. Twilight and Rob are why I found you. The shits and giggles are what keep me coming back.

    I agree with VitaminR. I would love more videos of you two. I'm at work or I'd spend more time looking for the video of you two working on your Reelz Channel Spotlight on Twilight segment. It's funny as hell, as was your guest appearance on the Twigasm podcast. Maybe it could be something as simple as a weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly "mailbag" type approach where you answer questions submitted by Followers and let Mini-E give his two cents, too; you could comment on what's pwning your ass at the moment; O-Pattz could make guest appearances; the possibilities are limitless. Just thinking out loud.

    Bottom line: do whatever you need to do to stay energized. For example, I love JJ's music reviews and hope she does one about her upcoming SXSW trip. Can't imagine anything you two write (wordy or otherwise) that we wouldn't eat up.

    @suzspetals - LMFAO!!! You know you're staying up late and reading too much fanfic when a co-worker asks if you're hungover because you're eyes are red and bloodshot. Not that that's what happened to me ;)

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  68. I am a new reader and I love everything about the blog. Besides FF, this is the only connection I have to Twilight now..keeping it simple and smutty.
    I need to go back and read some old posts but I would say..don't change a thing. You gals are funny as hell, you pick great topics and tell great jokes.
    Keep up the good work into 2010

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  69. "From Sparkle Peen to Pantygate 2009! From Mini-E to FSE! From pooping in RPatz's trailer to Alex's Lemonade Stand! YOU LADIES ROCK!!!"
    @starlitViolets

    I could not have said it better!

    Just one tiny request: based JJ's recommendation somewhere in Twitardia (the now departed Twilightheaded perhaps?) I started reading The Women of the Otherworld series and love it but now almost at the end! Whenever possible, could you guys post some book recommendations? That would great :-)

    Love Twitarded!

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  70. LMFAO at the Robrator and everyone's comments! No changing STY and JJ. I love all of your antics and funny stories, and no matter how fart (typo but it stays) the connection is to Twilight is, it's always hilarious and it just goes to show how you can link anything in life back to Twilight.
    FOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRKKS!

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  71. @Mthep - I actually thought about posting exactly that last night. HA!

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  72. let's just be honest here...i live for your smutty fanfic suggestions. so, keep 'em coming! look at me i could have said "cumming" but i didn't. i are mature.

    i have to say that i love your RL anecdotes even if they don't technically have anything to do with twilight.
    you're some damn funny gals, and you always make me smile! which is why i love this blog so much. you're intelligent women with great taste (from what i've gleaned) in music, books, movies, etc. and yet you have no qualms about making shit jokes and talking about sexual deviance.

    love it. more please.

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  73. Well, ain't you a bunch of the sweetest bitches ever!!

    I have to say - it was STY who found that video. I was watching it last night and d-y-i-n-g and ML was upstairs so all he could hear was the farting and me laughing and he yelled, "I thought it was sTY's turn to post tonight." LOL!

    No way in hell am I going to check out the Robrator at work. I want to keep my job, thanks. But I am dying of curiosity.

    We will keep the fan fic recs coming!

    Thank you, lovlies, for all your input! We love you just as you are, also. :)

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  74. @mthep - Ooh, thanks for the Bridget Jones quote! Now I have to go rent/buy that DVD. That movie gives hope to single, lushy, brain filter-less women everywhere.

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  75. Leave it as is!!!!

    Regards from freezing southern mexico!! These houses have no heaters!!!

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  76. @Jelena - I'm hard at work right now (ha ha) and only had time to quickly skim your post. So, the only words I caught were "start a fund to collect the money to go on the trip" and "fulfill sexual fantasies." Are you suggesting I try prostitution? I'm down with it (pun intended); just wanted to confirm. Maybe I could also become the local Robrator dealer, kind of like a Tupperware Lady.

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  77. Oh my gosh!! The twilight farts. I have never seen that before. Holy monkey, it was hilarious! I'm crying sooo hard. I laughed so hard I think I joined in there, too. That's what I want more of. Bring on the funnies.

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  78. IIIIII LIIIIKE YOUUUUU!

    yes! Although I love to hear from Mommy na Jerkface, as always. And keep us updated on Forks!

    And also I love the fanfic recs... it's a great thing that I have an adventurous boyfriend.

    I love you ladies!

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  79. I agree with whomever said that this is their happy place. It's the first place I go to when I need my happy dance.

    You are brilliantly funny (and just plain brilliant!)

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  80. @STY--Yep, I have seen that photo before on FB. Personally it like like minimal effort went into the photo insertion...I am just saying if it were me makeing that I would have used tweezers and placed the photo just so.

    Acutally you know what I want? I want you all to be fans of Twitarded on Facebook!!!!! If you haven't already you should become a fan of Twitarded. Just search 'Twitarded' and click "Become a Fan". We are really close to 1,000 fans. Come on Twitards!!!!

    v/w: 'slatpo' I just sounds dirty..teehee!

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  81. @mthep OMGawd it doesn't get any better than quoting Bridget Jones. My fave word from her? 'Fuckwit'

    More MiniE - Love him.

    Um- more FF recs would be gr8.

    Wow- never wanted to go to Forks until ya'll suggested the trip. Party Bus :-)

    You gals make me laugh everyday - and everyone should laugh this hard. THANK YOU.

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  82. I meant 'looks like' above--sheesh. Me and my spazzy caffeinated hands! Oh and I was referring to the Robrator.

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  83. Totally agree with what is being mentioned by all. In line with suzepetals, jalena and cookie- FanFic recommendations are appreciated by us (and our S/O!), so keep them cuming (@janeinsavamp- nope, I'm not mature). Speaking of, any chance we can get an update on 15 Step???

    Your real life meets Twitardia has been especially hilarious and makes me feel as "normal" as a fellow 30-something who obsesses over this fandom and hasn't done jack about the quickly breeding dust bunnies in her previously immaculate home can feel.

    I thank you for introducing such gems as "twatwaffle" into my vocabulary and for the many nearly-peed pants, snorts and ruined makeup mornings you have brought me. I heart you both.

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  84. @TO Twicat - NICE!

    I agree w/ the rest of them, why mess with perfection? Or at least the twisted version of it that us Twitards love and hold dear to our hearts.

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  85. PMSL! I've already seen the Twilight Farts video many months ago, but for some reason, it was SO much funnier this time!

    See? It's the fact that you two appreciate the same stupid stuff we all do, but you're able to offer it through the funny ass filter of your two brains. Mix in some delicious RPattz and we're all your hoors for life!

    WordVerif: fuene. I think one of the farts in the vid made that sound.

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  86. Is it me or is RPattz a little bit cross-eyed?? Particularly in that top pic.

    @sty duuuude you've totally got those pants in your underwear drawer! YOUR FUNCTIONAL FOR-USE UNDERWEAR DRAWER!! Your I-select-my-daily-drawers*-from-this-drawer drawer. Not framed on the wall with a little note of explanation placed next to it like a museum/gallery (as i would), not packed away in a little bag of shame, not tucked in a hidey spot somewhere with your porn stash. Hmmm, maybe yer 'brator is tucked in that drawer somewhere too?

    Ok ok, i won't mention it again.

    *drawers are yer knickers. Gawd, do you say knickers? Pants? Help!

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  87. you guys r great, would love more or any nude twlight guys, ive stoped narrowing it down to just rob and thought maybe any of them would look hot nude they do in my head anyway. lol, thanks for putting me onto fanfiction, other half sarkasticly thanks you as well as now i don't cook much or clean the house, i would also like to say that i lost weight reading fanfic as you know its hard to put a good story down no matter how hungry you are and well darkward...... lets just say the other half lets me read more for that workout lol wishing he was edward and strangly liking the idea of a little bdsm thanks master... I would like to know if you are going to Forks can i come too, was hopfully going over roughfly when they start filming bd (set stalk alittle)I'm an Aussie so i need help over there, let me know thanks. amanda123d@yahoo.com.au

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  88. just putting in my vote for "it's perfect"
    -Cat, Catherine, Cathy

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  89. @Karen i can be frightfully immature when the mood strikes. that was just my lame attempt at being funny :)

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  90. ok so this day has totally blown monkey nuts and i needed a break and i watched the video again and i LAUGHED so hard! again! and this is the third time i have watched it in 24 hours!! wtf is WRONG WITH ME?! ok i'm going to go watch it one more time because that's what chicks our age do to cheer themselves up after a shitty day at work. they make fart jokes. right?? right??? that's totally normal???

    oh and i can't find it now but whoever said something earlier about us focusing on more important things like "how come angela doesn't notice her boyfriend is gay" [paraphrasing] that was fucking priceless and also a good question. hmmm...

    : )

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  91. @mysharona - Us Americans call them: panties, underwear, undies, drawers... and I wish we called them knickers, but we all know what you mean when you say it. No worries. :)

    WV - blusead. Shoes.

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  92. That was a gas! Im at work too and I had to keep turning the volume up and down. There were a few good burps in there too! YOU BLOW ME AWAY! Im quoting Mr. RM when a good toot comes out!

    Ssshhh listen...ttthhhhhttttt! Get'em everytime!

    And the most famous, pull my finger!

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  93. My secret wish for 2010: to become a mommy (fingers crossed) for the 1st time. My secret wish for Twitarded: that it never, ever ends. I can't easily recall a post I didn't like on this website...so keep it coming! :-)

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  94. Simple - more of everything, please! Especially naked RPattz and am developing a liking for Jackson Rathbone. Anyway you can cater will be most appreciated. Thanks Ladies!

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  95. @janeisavamp- I knew I was in the right place! You're my kind of people. :)

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  96. Just picked myself up off the floor and wiped the tea off my keyboard - that fart video is hysterical! Love this blog, check it several times a day! I second that "just the way you are" sentiment though a smidgen more of Mommy (not a)Jerkface and OPattz would be fabulous. Love you gals!

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  97. I am a shirt-wearing, button wearing Twitard who is glad to be part of this seriously twisted bunch of chicks! Of course, I want Rpatz like in so many of my twisted driving fantasies. (Takes my mind off the traffic.) We need to fund Twitarded Productions so we can have Rpatz star in the remake of "The Graduate" with Rpatz in the role of the young man that Dustin HOffman played as a young guy. Hot!!! Its a classic!Keep doing what you're doing going into 2010. The fart thing scared the cat-I was crackin up!

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  98. Ladies, you are hysterical! My husband & I have a don't ask don't tell policy on Twilight related stuff, but because your posts are so funny I find myself sharing funnies with him. Now, I've only just started reading your blog, but I'd say keep doing what you're doing.

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  99. I agree with WhyIstheRumAlwaysGone
    I seriously laugh hard everytime I read your posts - keep the funny and everything else that follows! No need for change unless that means more of what you are already doing!

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  100. You're PERFECT! Don't change a damn thing! I wanna be on that September trip....keep posting about it!

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  101. So if y'all even read this far down in the comments... I love Twitarded! This is my absolute favorite Twilight site - the first one I followed, etc. I think it's time to focus on Eclipse - maybe highlight some great YouTube videos made for Eclipse. I enjoy living vicariously through you two - I'm a single 30 year old mom with no time to party it up like you ladies do. So even when the posts reek of vodka and hangovers - I still love it!!

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  102. So, it turns out, that while chronologically I am a 36yr old woman, I'm really a 12yr old boy. I could not stop laughing at the fart video. OH MY GAWD!!
    I so needed that laugh. Please do not change a fucking thing. You chicks rock. Posts from you are guaranteed amusement.
    Take a lesson from Billy Joel, "Don't go changin' to try and please me...I'll take you just the way you are."

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  103. interview ROB! you can do it. i know you can. it would be HILARIOUS!

    i put that on the top of my list over Forks for sure!!

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  104. Well I just started reading your blog not to long ago so do what you like with my suggestions, but Im a sucker for fan fiction. It would be awesome to have a section on the side where you have your top fanfic recs. I would totally read them as long as they have any type of Edward and a tree full of lemons :)
    Other than that, I crack up at your shit anytime I read it. Oh and Forks sounds totally fun!

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  105. I am a shirt-wearing, button wearing Twitard who is glad to be part of this seriously twisted bunch of chicks! Of course, I want Rpatz like in so many of my twisted driving fantasies. (Takes my mind off the traffic.) We need to fund Twitarded Productions so we can have Rpatz star in the remake of "The Graduate" with Rpatz in the role of the young man that Dustin HOffman played as a young guy. Hot!!! Its a classic!Keep doing what you're doing going into 2010. The fart thing scared the cat-I was crackin up!

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  106. @mthep OMGawd it doesn't get any better than quoting Bridget Jones. My fave word from her? 'Fuckwit'

    More MiniE - Love him.

    Um- more FF recs would be gr8.

    Wow- never wanted to go to Forks until ya'll suggested the trip. Party Bus :-)

    You gals make me laugh everyday - and everyone should laugh this hard. THANK YOU.

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  107. I agree with WhyIstheRumAlwaysGone
    I seriously laugh hard everytime I read your posts - keep the funny and everything else that follows! No need for change unless that means more of what you are already doing!

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  108. @mthep - Ooh, thanks for the Bridget Jones quote! Now I have to go rent/buy that DVD. That movie gives hope to single, lushy, brain filter-less women everywhere.

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  109. @janeisavamp- I knew I was in the right place! You're my kind of people. :)

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