Wednesday, March 17, 2010

I Really Need to Stop Watching Twilight

What? Just kidding. I could never give it up but fuck me, New Moon can't get here fast enough. I just need something to take the pressure off of my Twi-critical eye. With each viewing, I seem to find something that honestly makes me want to stop at my local post office loaded for bear. Normally I can overlook things... but when you've seen a movie about a million times, it's hard sometimes. First it was the whole 'double pumping the clutch' shit. Boy did that burn my ass.

Now I'm starting to take issue with the Port Angeles rescue scene... in particular, those fucking pussies that call themselves fearsome bad-asses.

Let's start with the incredibly stupid move on Bella's part to walk down a dark, dank alley. Bitch, stay on the lighted streets for chrissakes! Who the fuck decides to take a scary shortcut in an unfamiliar town. Aaaaaaand then, ending up surrounded by Port Angeles riffraff... ruuuuuuuuun you twitchy twat, ruuuuuuuun!

Bad dudes... try to stay out of dark alleys you dummy!

Enter Bella's knight in shining Volvo... all tires squealing and engines revving. I'm pretty sure that if I'm a lowlife troublemaker, a fucking Volvo does not scream 'scary dude!' Maybe if he pulled up on an ear-splitting Harley, or in an old Dodge Charger, but a Volvo? Seriously? I ain't scared of anyone driving a car made in Sweden. (No offense to the Swedish, but you really don't make a mean looking car.)

Not scary, but dude, I'd fuck him.

If it wasn't the mean-ass Volvo that scared our resident roughnecks, then may it was the pasty, bouffant-topped, pea coat wearing kid who leaps from the car. For the record, authentic Navy pea coats are tough. Custom-made, gray pea coats with fancy little epaulettes are not. I don't care if he did give you a really mean look and growled a little (and could tear your head of in a nanosecond,) you have him outnumbered. Fucking OUTnumbered! Put down your six-pack and stand up for yourselves! These guys give townie thugs a bad name.

Again, not scary... but still... I'd totally fuck him.

Now don't get me wrong, please... I am still unconditionally and irrevocably in love with Edward Cullen, but helloooo? Wardrobe? Give the kid a leather jacket and a kick ass hog for his rescue mission. Oh ya, and some shit kicking boots. Vampire or not, he just didn't look intimidating enough for me.

Um... ya... something a little like this. Now that's tough and HOT. (Love Jax!)

Thankfully New Moon is coming out this weekend. I need something new to focus my criticism on. Something new to watch over and over again, to make me drool on myself. I can already tell you what part I'll be rewinding and watching over and over again -- that hot ass strut across the school parking lot for one. And maybe even the moany make out scene too. I know you twats are warming up the pause buttons on the remote for something! Gimme the details in the comments!

76 comments:

  1. Hmm yes. Pause button for moaning scene, kissing scene 1, another kissing scene, nipple shot in Italy, Victoria scenes (she was badass you gotta admit those are awesome flips) and the bloody rag in the bowl that Carlisle catches on fire (don't ask)

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  2. "pasty, bouffant-topped, pea coat wearing kid who leaps from the car"

    I think I just peed myself a little from laughing so hard.

    OH, you know what drive me fucking insane...when B & E are driving past Police Station on their way back from Port Angeles and Bella says "What is going on" all stiff and stuff. Who the hell talks like that??!! It just gets my knickers in a twist.

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  3. Cannot WAIT for my New Moon DVD release party.
    Definately pausing & rewinding the moan kiss because it FUCKING KILLS ME! And nobody better talk during that scene or their ass will be kicked out of my party. Definately slo-mo Edward....and hmmmmmmm...Jacob taking off his shirt - schwing!

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  4. @Toefunny - I totally fucking HATE that part. Bad writing I think. And come on Kristin... improvise for chrissakes. Just say it like it should be said. LOL!

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  5. Helloooo, shirtless in Italy. Pasty white dude never looked so good!

    If I might go off topic for a moment, I had a dream inspiration to take on the new name of SidewalkCandy. (What do you make of THAT, Mrs. P??). So this is Twiwasgoinginforthekis..........signing off.

    Fkat

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  6. Latchkey Wife, I love you.

    Have you watched the commentary?? (duh, stupid question) The part where Robward jumps out of the volvo in Port Angeles, it cracks me up when Rob's like "Um, hey guys..." in his effeminate mocking way. Hilarious. That said, I hope the NM commentary is overall better. The best parts on Twilight are the parts where Kristen rags on how lame their commentary is, lol.

    @ToeFunny - I loathe that part, the "what is going on?" Every time, I'm wondering why they couldn't redub that.

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  7. Um so I think it is my bad boy thing (or the massive amounts of cold medicines i am currently on), but i would rather Jax in the Son's gear then Edward anyday... Ok you guys can disown me now.

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  8. Totally agreed. The Swedes don't make a mean looking car. And this from a former Saab driver. Best car I ever drove in snow, though.

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  9. @Catherine- I don't want to ask, believe me, but you can't just drop that line and leave us with nothing.

    My one complaint about Twilight is that someone should have given Rob a manicure, dirt under the nails is not sexy. Am I the only one who noticed this?

    I have a bootleg copy of NM and I still can't wait for my crisp version on Saturday. I love every scene with B & E. He is so hot. Wait until you see him recite Romeo and Juliet again. He should be illegal. I want to be KStew for just one day.
    I also have to add Jacob, with no shirt, catapaulting into Bella's room...def a pauser. Again wouldn't mind being KStew's fist on his abs for a day.

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  11. @Toefunny, that part bugs the shit our of my sis too! Normal peeps say "What's going on?" or "What the fuck?!" But now, she says "Woah, what is going ON?"

    Anyhoo STY, I just posted about the New Moon DVD release...and as I was posting I thought to myself, I wonder how many times ES & I will replay the Sex Strut. I guess it all depends on how drunk we are at that point!

    Also can't wait to have a second option now. Now it's like:

    "I'm feeling ______, think I'll watch Twilight"

    When NM is in my greedy little hands it will be:

    "I'm feeling ______, should I watch Twi OR New Moon???"

    Can't wait to have the option!!!

    XOXO J

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  12. @Toefunny--In that same scene I can only focus on the fact that their lipstick color matches exactly in the lighting of the car, lol.

    In New Moon I will be lapping up the jawporn and panting over every mindblowing Rob eyebrow twitch!

    Also looking forward to watching with subtitles. It seems I missed about 1/4 of all words spoken in Twilight until I watched with subtitles (maybe around the 12th viewing). And with all that rob mumble in new moon I'm sure I missed something.

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  13. Yep, can't wait to watch that strut over and over! Jacob doesn't do it for me but I love watching him turn into a wolf! And the very end, in spite of the grandpa clothes, Edward. Gotta replay that.

    v/w: normal - hahahahaha no "normal" people here. We're Twi-twats, thankyouverymuch.

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  14. I'm so bummed. Because of family commitments I won't be able to devote my entire weekend to viewing the NM DVD frame by frame. I may have to play hooky from work next week - so I can spend a a full day lusting over the precious.

    I'm seriously thinking about buying two copies because I actually may wear one out.

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  15. @TongueTwied: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

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  17. My pausing scene.

    When Felix is holding Edward in a choke hold or whatever it is after they had the scuffle, Edward's all panting for...breath? I suppose. Tummy, hip bone and happy trails galore. PAUSE!

    I only saw it 5 times in the theater and twice on the internet. Each time they had the moaney kiss I closed my eyes and imagined they were fucking.

    Is that too weird to admit?

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  18. @Catherine,
    bloody rag in the bowl...
    looks like book cover, no? like the ruffled tulip?

    I never read anything about it but asked a few for their opinion. They agreed as well.

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  19. the pause button isnt the only thing getting warmed up!

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  20. @latchkey and myg the swedes do make a car I would totally do dirty things in!

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  21. @RobzSinger: I did notice the dirt under the finger nails but just assumed that it was because he was out playing in the woods the night before eating Bambi and his friends to be prepared to be aroud Bella.

    I will take Edward in his custom peacoat any day over Edward in his "I have accepted the fact that I am 109 yeas old and am now going to dress like it" ugly tweed suit and brown cap toe shoes. Did these costume peope even read the books? He only wears a suit twice in the whole series. Prom and his wedding and even then it's a sexy ass tux. Why Chris Weitz, why?! We totally got gipped.

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  22. Hey gals (and any guys-hehe)!
    @Toefunny - Gah, I hate that part, and also the one when they're in the woods and Edward tells Bella he's killed people, wants to kill her, yada yada and she says, "I doah not care." I spell it like that because it sounds like she meant to say "I don't care," like a normal person, but then halfway through, realized the script said, "I do not care."
    D-oh! Ridiculous!
    Anyways, the parts I will be pausing, replaying and slowing down are (in no particular order):
    - Bella's dream when Edward appears in the meadow
    - the strut
    - Jasper and Bella in school
    - Edward's reciting of Romeo and Juliet
    - the moan/kiss
    - Jacob and Bella in her room
    - Victoria's chase
    - Edward's reveal in Italy (this one I will have to break down into many sections and replay each often)
    - the fight scene
    As you can all see, I have my work cut out for me. At this rate, it will take me about 10 hours to get through it the first time! Thank goodness I've cleared my schedule this weekend!! How fortuitous!
    Love to you all!

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  23. Im a Twi-hard but i know the ways of SAMCRO and Jax. Love him! A Crossover fic would have me *ded* for reals. Can't wait for New Moon! im in Phoenix so I hopefully get to see Esme somewhere on Friday! Wooooo!

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  24. One of my twi-peeviest parts is right after the Port Angeles rescue scene, when they're "speeding" down the street in the Volvo doing about 20 mph. Sheesh. Yea Bella, put your seatbelt on. Gah.

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  25. Yeah-watched Twilight again last night..luckily my son wants to watch it all the time..so I have an excuse & can bond at the same time ;-)

    Fave NM: Def the strut-gahhh-fuck me if guys were ever that hot in high school! Love Jasper/Alice..my son's fave is "Dating an older chick-Hot"
    Meadow-Romeo & Juliet-I don't care much for Jake so won't need to rewind for Ab viewage..unlike my friend who's ovaries exploded the moment he turned 18...I'm the most hardcore of my friends..don't think any of them will be up for a midnight viewing..wish I knew somewhere local where I could go hang out with equally obsessed peeps!

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  26. @Laura
    I think the line you're referring to is "it doesna matter". Gets me every time. Also Edward's weird flustery bit when Bella asks if he ahs contact lenses. I'm sure it's been mentioned a million times before, but but if Edward Cullen ever actually gets flustered, it happens so fast that no human can actually see it!

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  27. I have the same problem with picking faults. I CAN'T WAIT for NM to come out. I'll be pausing the moany kiss, the car-park strut and the Volterra striptease. I never did any of this pausing and rewinding shit before I discovered Twilight. Damn you, Meyer...I won't be pausing any of Taycob's bits. He does nothing for me. Not even now he's 18.

    @ToeFunny: I have a hard time watching that scene without putting it on mute. Who the hell talks like that?!

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  28. Ok....so...hello?! Am I the only one who has seen New Moon almost as many times as she has seen Twilight? Not only have I gotten to know the attendants at the $1 theater super well (Holler to Andrew and Shanae) b/c New Moon is showing, but also, thank you free movie websites?

    Back to the subject at hand: I'm with you, LKW, on the rescue. Does it really, ?really? only take a good looking white kid in a pea coat and an assumed growl (b/c we couldn't really hear it in it's true dark and dirty glory) to push you quasi-thugs away? Then again...it is Port Angeles. It's not 17th & Diamond in North Philly or anywhere in Trenton or anything. I personally would not be afraid for my chach if I saw those guys. If anything I'd ask for a beer and use it to pound in their skulls. But that's just me.



    And okay, I know I'm not old enough ha! to remember this, but I've seen Once Bitten so many times my MOM can quote it...The scene when Edward is walking into school with Bella...does anyone else think of Jim Carrey walking around with the same Ray Bans on?! It kills me. EVERY time. I fucking love that scene for that very reason. Pardon my instagasm.

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  30. Yeah--I never got why she didn't turn around and run back to the big burly guy in the book store and call a cab at the first sight of scary dudes in the alley. She did turn around once...she should have run back uphill..LOL!

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  31. I am going to watch the motorcycle dude in Port Angeles over and over again because he was fucking hoooootttttt.....just kidding.

    I kind of want to watch the scene where Edward is in Rio over and over again. I like phone crushing Edward...very passionate....I can work with that kind of passion. I also need to pause and study the details behind nipplegate. I need to try and understand why CWeitz put that in there. Maybe he has a nipple fetish? Dunno.

    Pretty much all the Volturi scenes will get worn out because, well, The Precious is shirtless...and there is that little teasing trail of happy.

    Don't get me started on Twilight and all its issues. I love it out of loyalty but holy crap is there some crappy moments in that flick....some great ones too.

    @LKW Great post my friend. You must have found a nice constant supply of blogagra because your posts have been kick ass. Shall we have another go? <3

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  32. Agreed with all of the above regarding New Moon and the serious re-watching that will be going on this weekend (my bf is so lucky he will be out of town because I honestly think I will need to watch it a few times before I feel satisfied).

    @LKW- you are so right about the port angeles scene, and I can't believe that never occurred to me before...lol...he is SO NOT intimidating looking in that scene at all.

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  33. @LKW, lmao! I am going to watch the whole thing the second I get NM into my sweaty paws. Including a lot of shirtless Jacob. YU-U-UM! I also intend to rewind and listen to Edward say "I love you" and "marry me" over and over. I won't be pretending that Rob (Rob, not Edward) is talking to me. Promise...-ish.

    Currently bugging me the most in Twilight, other than freaking spider monkey (I hope one of those attacks MR, and soon) is Rob's lack of proper inflection. "youdon'tknowthevilerepulsivethingstheywerethinking." "myfamilywe'redifferentfromothersofourkind." SERIOUSLY, kid, you're pretty, but that was not right. You speak English, yes? People from your land do, right? You did better in NM. I hope Eclipse is another improvement.

    @Totally... I just guffawed in a very non-flattering way at your comment about other things getting warmed up. Hubs just asked if I was okay. Yes yes, just snorting wine, and not the fun way!
    @Laura, agree about "it doesna matter." The movie was that rushed that they couldn't dub over that? C'mon, CH, have some standards!
    @Cupcake Donna, holy hell, you are so right about the headlock/stomach thing. The heaving chest/exposed hip bones are SO hot it makes my... well, let's not go there.

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  34. OMG LKW! That is so funny that you posted a picture of Jax.

    Jax is HOT! I was watching that show for a minute (which btw, is freaking ruthless) and then I lost track of the time. Is it still on?

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  35. O-M-G! I had no intention of posting until I read the blasphemy about Volvo's being an ill-fit for scary...Seeing that I love car-porn more than I love some RPattz (I know! If I ever have the opp. to throw him in my trunk I will hand him over to you gals sans his Audi)- I was aghast.

    Volvo's may not scream rough and tumble but they DO scream, or moan in my case, SPEED- as in Let's get the hell out of here! kind of speed as well as some seriously fine tuned and optimally functioning never-to-let-you-down Swedish engineering.

    Can't wait to shred New Moon. : )

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  36. SORRY LK! Thought this was a STY's post...it was kinda tame for you ;)
    JK...lmau *muah!*

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  37. OK, so I'm not just twitarded, but apparently shortbus retarded as well. I swear I submitted a post and hour ago but don't see it.

    Ah well. It was something about how I love the on-demand aching chest and hands feeling that the months of abandonment/Possibility song time can elicit.

    But that beyond that, I can't remember shit (not just about NM after [only] 3 viewings, but in general, as it's apparently a condition of mine) and so I look forward to cringing at the painful parts and gooing over the wantful parts as I experience them again.

    And, I agree with HypoVag- I do recall that Vamp Bella's little scallop edged dress and gold flats were almost as stupid as Edward's vest. And what about in the book when they each wore a sleeveless white shirt and tan sweater on The Meadow day? Does ANYONE really think it's cute to coordinate with your SO? Well (recalling some couples I've seen in public, let me rephrase) does anyone I would ever want to so much as play a game of darts with desire to wear matching outfits with their SO? Tell me no, or I've lost all hope.

    Gotta run now, just notified that the next EP chapter is posted...

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  38. "ruuuuuuuuun you twitchy twat, ruuuuuuuun"
    Lolz! I think I need to add this phrase in my everyday life!

    "The strut" oooh goodness the struuuuut! that will be gettin' many a rewatch!
    Also the special features, hoping for some good random word vomit from Rob.

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  39. I always wondered why the guy at the bookstore didn't tell her to stay away from the alley-it's almost dark!

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  40. @italhurts,
    YES! Any of the outfits that are described in the book are so horrid.
    I wasn't botherd as much by the matching tan outfits as I was by Edward's sleevelessness! How gay can you get!

    Bella's wardrobe is so full of Gap khakis and prairie skirts, a red "blouse" (does anyone besides our mothers say "blouse") I am more offended at those wardrobe choices than anything.

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  41. Omg...true that...double true to everything in this post.

    And LKW...Jax and I are having a dirty steamy love affair...eff Tara.
    I offing love Sons. I made the Mr go as a SAMCRO member for halloween two yrs ago. Hehe.

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  42. I can't believe I am going to have to wait until next week to watch the extra footage and other goodine - booo!!! thanks a LOT for going away AGAIN, JJ!

    New Moon moooooan or no, Twi will remain my fave dvd... That said, there is going to be a lot of pause/rewinding over the good stuff! that whole half-nekkid fight scene? sllllloooooow-moooootion for sure. imma go thru that frame by frame.

    : )

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  43. @HV-Wait, how does the name SidewalkCandy have anything to do with Rob's voice? Is there something about Rob that I don't know?!? Really???? Please explain!

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  44. @ Lindsay Rae: I too am not nearly old enough to have watched First Bitten a gagillion times, however I know EXACTLY what you're talking about!! Good call!!!

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  45. I don't know if I'll be watching NM this weekend or not, I preordered and not sure if it will arrive by Sat. or not. :(

    TongueTwied--I love to watch movies with subtitles too. I think I did with Twilight, but by that time I had seen it so much I knew most of the words, LOL

    The bloody gauze in the bowl--I never saw it as tulip shaped. To me it always seemed heart-shaped. Which is then the perfect segue into the Satellite Heart song that starts playing, so I figured it was intentional.

    I can't wait to see the deleted scenes and bonus stuff.

    With Twilight it seemed like every time I watched it I would catch something subtle I missed before. New Moon was so well made and I saw it 4 times in the theater so I will be interested to see if there is anything "new" I missed.

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  46. No kidding. SM's wardrobe descriptions were gawdawful. Sleeveless button down anyone? And that's supposed to be sexy? {shudder}.
    @MK - sidewalk and candy are apparently Rob's choice of words when demonstrating his American accent, as I've heard him do it on three separate occassions. It's pretty awful, too. Lol. He says caaaandy really pervy like, and siiiiiiiiiidwock like, I dunno, kinda nasally. I woke up from this dream thinking I was Rob's American sidewalk candy which, I know doesn't sound very appetizing being on the ground and all, but inspiration doesn't always make sense.

    Fkat

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  47. @Cupcake Donna-speaking of "blouse" being an old fashioned word....who is Melissa R. Blowing to keep getting the script writing gig? Some of her dialogue is just horrible. Have you heard anyone besides your grandpa use the phrase "do you have some kinda beef with that guy?" If I wasn't in my 40's I don't think I'd even know what she was talking about. And who refers to themselves as "I used to be a good kid .....". Again, grandma talking about her" good kid" not teenaged boy talking about himself. AND I always feel KStew's taking a potshot at us when she says "I'm not into the whole cougar thing" --thanks Melissa! Not.

    Those are a few of the things I have a "beef" with. Lol

    Fkat

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  48. @SidewalkCandy
    When she makes that cougar remark, I always mutter "Fuck off virgin" to the screen.
    Know your audience Rosenberg! Tweens are a fickle bunch. But the moms and cougars are usually a pretty loyal group. Don't piss us off.

    At least Emmet makes up for it by saying dating an older woman is hot. Love that monkey man.

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  49. @Cupcake Donna--I'm really on board with the book cover in the bowl. I sort of saw it too! I gave CH big props for the apple scene in Twilight.

    Supposedly there is an upside down wolf in the bowl amongst other hidden wolves in the film.

    I didn't see it, but hey good use of your time CW! I guess that is what he was doing when the awful wigs, clothes, and contacts were being fitted.

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  50. @SidewalkCandy - Here, here! I've been hoping beyond hope that Melissa Rosenburg will not write the script for Breaking Dawn. I even checked out Dexter to see what all the fuss was about, but was not impressed. I must be a script snob, much like I am a chocolate snob. I don't do Hershey's.

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  51. Yeah, I always thought MR threw in that line for Jacob, "age is just a number, baby" to try to make up for the cougar diss. Pschaw! Suck it Melissa I ain't having none of that.

    Fkat

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  52. Haha I know i'm being a bitch for dis but I haf got the New Moon DVD already!! Whuahhaha it's been 31hrs since I haf it already n have watched it over 4 times since!! Can't wait for ur post on NM DVD release to be up!

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  53. Hey! Which DVD are people getting?

    Target?
    Borders?
    Regular 2 Dics?
    Blue Ray?

    I can't decide.

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  54. I agree with this post 100% and yes if EC was more like Jax from "Sons of Anarchy" I could understand why those lame ass townie-thugs would have went running for the hills. On a side note, Charlie Hunnam who plays Jax is my husband even if he doesn't know it yet.

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  55. I'm going for the Target version of the DVD. No special reason...

    @TJB: That two-timing bastard, he's MY husband!!

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  56. Even though I am totally Team Edward, I LOVE all of the Bella/Jacob banter & look forward to that. I'm can't wait to see a good copy as the one I have been watching (ahem) is NOT good quality at all.
    @RobzSinger - I agree with 'wanting to be Kstew's fist on his abs for a day'. Every time I watch that scene I wonder how she keeps from opening her palm & just rubbing it all over Jacob's abs & chest - cuz that's what I would do...just saying.
    @Cupcake Donna - not weird at all to imagine other stuff during the kiss/moan. I do the same thing. I close my eyes & imagine that is what he sounds like as we are doing the deed & he is coming! (wow!!! that sentence felt really dirty to type....I think I need a cigarette).
    One of the things about Twilight that bugs me other than gay Eric is when Alice jumps off of the tree branch during the 'meet the family' scene, I HATE how there is a big thud when she lands. Don't the books always describe her as light on her feet. Don't know why, but it bugs me.
    What bugs me the MOST though is how much of the meadow scene they cut out.

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  57. The part of Twilight that Rob (yeah, we are on first names) ruined for me in the audio commentary. It's right after the scene that you talked about in Port Angeles when they are supposed to speed away. Except, as Rob pointed out, the footage outside the car window is going...very...sloooowly. Still, I love it when he says "Slow down!! I can't go any faster!!" I love Rob. That will never get old.

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  58. Well, I have to agree that Volvo ans Saab doesn't really scream "I'm a bad fotherfucker". But as myg said: Saab is the best when it comes to snow. Which we tend to have in Sweden. Like, a lot. I have an ooooold Saab. Love it. I also have a Citroën. Fucking french car, it sucks. I hate it.

    Anyway, this too is a swedish car. Maybe that would look meaner? Not sure it drives well in snow though...

    http://www.koenigsegg.com/

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  59. Well, I have to agree that Volvo ans Saab doesn't really scream "I'm a bad fotherfucker". But as myg said: Saab is the best when it comes to snow. Which we tend to have in Sweden. Like, a lot. I have an ooooold Saab. Love it. I also have a Citroën. Fucking french car, it sucks. I hate it.

    Anyway, this too is a swedish car. Maybe that would look meaner? Not sure it drives well in snow though...

    http://www.koenigsegg.com/

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  60. OMG! I can't spell and my comment was added twice. I need to sleep.

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  61. @Cupcake Donna- "Fuck off virgin" = I heart you and wish I could watch NM with you just to hear your commentary. ha ha!

    Does anyone know the difference between the target and walmart dvd? must get the most edward bang for my buck.

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  62. @RobzSinger and @Cupcake Donna
    yep- the one where it is supposed to look like the tulip on the cover of the book. I saw it three times, but still can't see the tulip, therefore I need the Pause button!

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  63. I am finally back from vacation and a bought of bronchitis. I am SO behind on blogging. No use trying to catch up. I just have to jump in and start now :)

    @LKW - Yes, there are tons of flaws in Twilight, but it still takes me to a "happy place" when i watch it. Is it wrong that while I was on vacation I paid $14.99 to watch New Moon on demand in our hotel room and spent one night rewatching Twilight on my iPod Touch?

    @ToeFunny - You pushed a button with that scene. Another thing that bugs me is that Charlie doesn't ask Bella what the hell's she's doing there and how she got there in the first place. Just sayin'.

    I've missed all you Twihards!

    Lisa

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  64. OMG. You guys are awesome. Not only to I get to revel in my Twihard-ness but see pictures of my Jax? I LOVE YOU GUYS!! Sparkles have nothing on Jax's SOA tat. Not a damn thing. Can't wait for season 3...

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  65. Well here in Aus I won't be able to drool over any NM scenes for a few more weeks so decided to watch Twilight last night again after my teenage sons went to bed to get my fix....

    I was into my 3rd rewind of the closeup of Edwards eyes in the lab (sigh) when my younger son sneeks up behind me and yells out, "Mum you're a PERV!"

    What could I say but YES I AM.

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  66. @powerpuffgirll (Tina)March 18, 2010 at 9:58 PM

    my DH just told me to shut the fuck up because i was laughing so hard (hes trying to watch something) and i think i peed my self a little, (have to wash edward blanket now, because im sitting on his face)this might sound sad but i watch twi EVERYDAY, when im getting ready for wk, i have it taped from show time!!!!! and THANK GOD i will be getting 2 copies of NM tomorrow, my bootleg copy has about had it!!!!!!
    LOVE U HO0RS HARD!!!!!!!!

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  67. OK, I don't know how I could have forgotten this before now, but it's topical enough (and by that I mean tangential, but sorry you'll just have to deal): By far, hands down, my most loathed component of both books and movies is that FUCKING EVERYONE who is paired up in these things (even in most fanfiction) is IN LOOOOOVE as in the one and only, soul mate kind of shit. Hello! Diminish the power of the supernatural-degree love story why dontcha? Carlisle/Esme, Emmet/Rosalie, Jasper/Alice are all in major, permanent swoon. Fine, write it off as a vampire thing, but no: even Angela and Ben can't part long enough for him to go to a kung fu movie without major longing and declarations of love. Please! I want Edward and Bella to have something that is unusual, not just be keeping up with the Jones's here. Fuck me. Pisses me off.

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  68. Just got my early copy of NM ready for a night of twi-love - the dvd wont play!! Gutted!!

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  69. I'm going to claim that I can speak for all my fellow Swedes (Sweden FTW) and say: We don't think our cars are bad-ass either. We more or less pick on Volvo's any chance we get.

    I got my New Moon DVD today, and have been watching everything non-stop. It's so awesome!

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  70. YES! Im screamin like a whore on a porn, YES!

    Im so glad you pointed out the flaws in the wardrobe department. I get that they were on a budget and I get thatthe Cullens try to look urbane and sophisticated, but damn! If I were in charge and I had to visually picture Edward in my mind, I'd envisiage him in soft worn jeans, black kick ass boots, a tight black tshirt and leather jacket. If not a leather jacket then definitely somthing hotter then a fucking pea coat! I mean, daaaamn! You know, I hold the bitches from fanfiction completely responsible. They've describes dishevelled homless Edward all the way to domward. We're so fucked!

    On another note, Summit needs to hire one of us as interns to say exactly what the fandom wants to see. Though I did appreciatethe pants hanging off his hips in New Moon. Mmmmmmmmm... shmexy visuals.

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  71. LKW- great post! LMAO. and throwing in jax - fucking perfecto.

    luvs me some jax. SoA is fuckhawt for a weekly shot of testosterone fuckery. oooh and sometimes jax fucks somebody on screen!

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  72. Yeah, I always thought MR threw in that line for Jacob, "age is just a number, baby" to try to make up for the cougar diss. Pschaw! Suck it Melissa I ain't having none of that.

    Fkat

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  73. No kidding. SM's wardrobe descriptions were gawdawful. Sleeveless button down anyone? And that's supposed to be sexy? {shudder}.
    @MK - sidewalk and candy are apparently Rob's choice of words when demonstrating his American accent, as I've heard him do it on three separate occassions. It's pretty awful, too. Lol. He says caaaandy really pervy like, and siiiiiiiiiidwock like, I dunno, kinda nasally. I woke up from this dream thinking I was Rob's American sidewalk candy which, I know doesn't sound very appetizing being on the ground and all, but inspiration doesn't always make sense.

    Fkat

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  74. O-M-G! I had no intention of posting until I read the blasphemy about Volvo's being an ill-fit for scary...Seeing that I love car-porn more than I love some RPattz (I know! If I ever have the opp. to throw him in my trunk I will hand him over to you gals sans his Audi)- I was aghast.

    Volvo's may not scream rough and tumble but they DO scream, or moan in my case, SPEED- as in Let's get the hell out of here! kind of speed as well as some seriously fine tuned and optimally functioning never-to-let-you-down Swedish engineering.

    Can't wait to shred New Moon. : )

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  75. OMG LKW! That is so funny that you posted a picture of Jax.

    Jax is HOT! I was watching that show for a minute (which btw, is freaking ruthless) and then I lost track of the time. Is it still on?

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  76. OK, so I'm not just twitarded, but apparently shortbus retarded as well. I swear I submitted a post and hour ago but don't see it.

    Ah well. It was something about how I love the on-demand aching chest and hands feeling that the months of abandonment/Possibility song time can elicit.

    But that beyond that, I can't remember shit (not just about NM after [only] 3 viewings, but in general, as it's apparently a condition of mine) and so I look forward to cringing at the painful parts and gooing over the wantful parts as I experience them again.

    And, I agree with HypoVag- I do recall that Vamp Bella's little scallop edged dress and gold flats were almost as stupid as Edward's vest. And what about in the book when they each wore a sleeveless white shirt and tan sweater on The Meadow day? Does ANYONE really think it's cute to coordinate with your SO? Well (recalling some couples I've seen in public, let me rephrase) does anyone I would ever want to so much as play a game of darts with desire to wear matching outfits with their SO? Tell me no, or I've lost all hope.

    Gotta run now, just notified that the next EP chapter is posted...

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