Wednesday, March 10, 2010

My Big Screen (Wet) Dream Team.

A while back, both Jenny Jerkface and Snarkier Than You confessed that pre-Rob, they had never really been big groupie type girls. They claim to never have had a big celebrity crush (someone please tell Jenny that yes, even musicians count... *cough* Honus Honus *cough*.) I, on the other hand, am never without a celebrity crush. I started at a very young age. I remember the year... it was 1983, I was 13 and The Outsiders had just come out. Hellooooo Matt Dillon! How you doin'? I immediately had my walls plastered with every fucking page from the latest Tiger Beat. Yay me!

If I knew what a blowjob was when I was 13, I would've totally wanted to give him one.

Fast forward 20 years... I'm 33 years old, in a committed relationship, and I still can't seem to survive without my celebrity crush. Enter Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow. Holy mother of fuck, those gold teeth make my panties smolder. I've always had feelings for Johnny... wanted to ride him hard and put him away wet after I watched Chocolat... but this character brought me to a whole new level. Was this the start of my insane love for dirty, hobolicious men?

Oooh, I love 'em dirty! The dirtier, the better!

Johnny has sat perched atop my Five Famous Fucks list for a very long time. I figured I'd die with JD on top... until I saw Twilight. Now I want Robert Pattinson on top of everything, especially me! I see him and my stomach does a double backflip. I almost always break into a sweat and may or may not pant just a little. Ok, that's a lie. I pant a lot. I sound like an 80 year old chain smoker on oxygen after climbing a flight of stairs.

JDepp + RPattz = Dead Latchkey (from exploding vagina!)

So it got me to thinking... who would be my Hollywood dynamic duo? Well, that's easy. If anyone ever put JDepp and RPattz in the same movie, it might be like the fucking apocalypse for me. Since they both have the same panty-moistening effect, I may as well just wear a fucking Depends to that movie! I honestly don't know if my heart or my vagina could handle it. After I saw Alice in Wonderland last weekend, I had this brief email conversation with TexasKatherine which pretty much sums it up.
ME: Just saw Alice in Wonderland in 3D - holy shit I'm glad I didn't drop a hit of acid beforehand. If you see it, go 3D! Depp is amazing as usual and even with the fucked up makeup, I'd rail him in a second!! Is it wrong to want Rob and Johnny in the same movie? I think my vag would throw herself at the screen!

TK: Dude, I'm pretty sure your vag is attached with Velcro. That old school Velcro too that was only good for about 3 or 4 adhesions and then you had to supplement with tape. God help RPattz if you ever get within striking distance because I'm pretty sure you'll rip that shit off, toss your vag at him and it'll return to you like a boomerang.
And if I wasn't all hot and bothered already over the fantasy of those two on screen together, I recently read that Tim Burton and Johnny Depp may be teaming up to bring the old 60's television series Dark Shadows to the big screen. JDepp as a vampire? Does someone have a recording device in my brain? My dream... now just find a spot for Rob and I can die. Has anyone ever died from smoking-hot-celebrity-induced-multiple-orgasms? If not, I could be the first.

I wanna know... who's your dream duo of deliciousness? I'm thinking it's at least RPattz and someone... Come on, spill it!

91 comments:

  1. My dream duo: RPattz (of course) and Chris Pine, who was in Star Trek as Kirk - he's a devilish little hottie.

    Course, RPattz in some kind of 'Parent Trap'-esque (he's twins!) would work for me too.

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  3. Ugh... RPattz as twins. Double my pleasure, double my fun! Fuck me!

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  4. RPattz and Daniel Craig. Damn that would be one fun layer cake (get it? layer cake? no? alright then.)

    Oh you meant on screen together right? Not um..oh nevermind.

    Shit.

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  5. i'm on your team - the deppmiester and the pretty.

    it's been one long wet dream for depp the past 10 yrs, but the dynamic duo was formed upon me seeing twilight.

    here's my ultimate dream - pirates 5 (4 is already scripted & in pre-production)...

    wait for it...

    cap'n jack w/ rpattz playing his long lost son.

    OMFG - can you image the hobolishous dirty wet dream that pairing would stimulate?!

    shiver me timbers & climb er ahem aboard THOSE 2 wooden planks...

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  6. RPattz and Bobby Long at the moment. I'm a fickle gal really but that Bobby (by the way I always type booby) has something that I just want. And Rob, well he has everything.

    x
    p.s. and if I could have a threesome of boys, can I stick in Channing Tatum as well? He can be the meat in my sandwich. Ta very much.

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  7. Hmmmm...that's a toughie. When I first read this I thought you were going to ask about our past celebrity crushes which would have been MUCH easier to answer (Rick Springfield anyone?).
    Since I'm so twi-focused right now, I'm going to have to be unoriginal & say that I'd like to be the creamy center of a Rob/Taylor Lautner sandwich.
    I am usually attracted to clean cut, muscular, dark skinned, dark haired men - which is Taylor to a T, but Rob's smoldering smexieness CANNOT be ignored. So, Team Edward or Team Jacob? Both, please.
    AWWWWWW.....hell - just saw a commercial for Remember Me - squeeeee!

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  8. Oh crap, you DID mean on the big screen didn't you? Oooops.... let me see if I can crawl out of the gutter now.

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  9. @ LKW - O M G! I am SO with you on this! I would devour a JDepp-RPattz sandwich any day of the week. I'll be the cheese please! Honestly, I never cared for Johnny until I saw "Benny & Joon" - that was when I fell in love. Then I saw "Chocolat" and "The Man Who Cried" (there is a totally fuck-hawt sex scene in it that vaporized my panties) and I fell in LUST! (Is it wrong that I was slightly attracted to Willy Wonka, too?) Then Captain Jack came along and completely fucked me over.

    I saw AinW this weekend and thought the EXACT same thing! Funky makeup, crazy red wig and ALL, baby, let's have a crazy tea party! Here's how the conversation would go...

    MadHatterJohnny: Hey Coffee, how is a raven like a writing desk?

    Coffee (that's me): I don't know, love, but you can call me Raven and fuck me on this desk!

    Johnny as a vampire?!! - HOLY SHIT, I'll have died and gone to heaven! *thud*

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  10. RPattz and Jonathan Rhys Meyers. Oh god...just thinking about it makes my heart go pitter pat and my who-ha need a shamwow... goodness gracious.

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  11. I was so going to comment something about this post... but then someone (Twi-Me?) had to go and mention twinwards... and fuck if my brain didn't just freeze right then and there.
    I was 13 in '83 as well and I'm pretty sure The Outsiders was the first movie to... move me.
    However I have never had an celeb have such an effect on me ~ Rob has ruined me for any other.

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  12. Rpattz & Ryan Gossling playing brothers please who are not fighting over the same girl.

    Depp could have played a teen again in the Nightmare on Elm Street remake with no complaints from me.

    JD and MD. Both. Still. Hot.

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  13. LKW - ooh and ahhhs on the dark shadows w/depp. did you know depp will also play tonto in the lone ranger?

    ok so now my mind is wandering. should'nt have brought up deppward.

    jebbus fuckity i get girl wood for THIS masked man...

    http://www.imdb.com/video/screenplay/vi443482137/

    "women are the closest men will ever get to god, and sex is the ultimate form of worship" *thud*

    odelay!

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  14. i can't say that i have a dream duo (although RPattz and Taycob certainly do it for me!), but more than anything I would LOVE to see either Rob or Taylor on Spartacus. If you have not watched this series on starz, you are missing out! Give them swords, dress them in skimpy gladiator clothing, and watch those muscles ripple! ALthough, perhaps with Rob's physique he'd be better suited to play a slave. hmmmm...chained...on his knees...

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  15. Hmmmm....this is a toughy for me. I don't really crush on celebs.... until now...RPattz...But I do really like me some Jacksper...so RPattz and Jacksper would REALLY do it for me. I think the only thing better would be the twin RPattz, however I'm pretty sure that woud mess up the space time continuum some how and the universe would implode. So for the safety of humanity, I will take on for the team and settle for RPattz and Jacksper.

    Not too sure how I feel about them making Dark Shadows. That show was kinda weird. I guess if the stay away from the freeky 10 inch vamp fangs, it would be a bit better.

    @TooMuchCoffee: I think this post makes you silly. I'm entertained. A crazy tea party. LMAO

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  16. I am an all Twilight kind of girl...I would have to do ( I mean pick) Rob and Kellan! I loved Kellan in the movies but when I saw him in the Calvin Klein underwear ad my panties went up in flames!!!!

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  17. This one is easy for me. Rob and Hayden Christensen. Swoon!!

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  18. Dream duo - Rpattz and Paul Bettany (but it would have to be the Legion version of Paul Bettany)

    tho - it's hard to find someone who compares to the pretty.. **sigh**

    you ladies crack me up- I'd probably be peeing my pants from that email conversation alone :)

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  19. @brenkden. roger that KLutz calklein money maker...

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YqaKX02F0p4

    and ummm gah. fernando verdasco @ :11

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  20. @LKW--You are a whore, but we already knew this. I only have eyes for RPattz. I like a lot of actors, but I've never lusted over any of them. As always, thank you for making me feel like less of a slut.

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  21. ruh roh. i guess i'm a h00r too!

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  22. Im going with RPattz and Bruce Willis. Ive loved Bruce Willis since forever and I would just explode if they were together in a movie.

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  23. it's possible that this post reminded me of the fact that I also had a MAJOR crush on a very young matt dillon - anyone other than me remember "Little Darlings"?! ok i admit it - major crush! bad boy - yummy!

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  24. I'm with you LKW, before Rob there was Johnny...now the two of them together...oh my!

    Alongside Johnny for a little while was Orlando...and then before Johnny was Sean Bean (his younger self - Lady Chatterley's Lover anyone?)

    I have a LOT of pics of my fave boys on my laptop at home....unfortunately due to forgetting to turn off screensaver function and using laptop at a seminar I was speaking at, about 100 boring accountants now know of my little crushes....did I mention that I had a couple of nude Sean Bean ones on there....oops..

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  25. Herein lies the problem.

    While I find loads of other actors hot...ya put them anywhere near the Pattz and they immediately lose their appeal.

    Like watching a scene of Matt Damon in "Ocean's 11." He's so totally adorable. But when Brad Pitt walks in and stands next to him, poor Matt Damon looks about as attractive as a troll doll.

    Everyone is doomed.

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  26. @edwardsisobel: That must have been awkward!

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  27. @edwardsisobel: omg that is too funny! kinda happened to me too bu sans nudes - big presentation on my laptop, and my rpatzz wallpaper popped up. all the ladies in the mtg kinda gasped - and w/o missing a beat i said "oh yes, while i pull up the slide show, please enjoy some raptzz eye candy. and no calories, ladies!"

    ps. got the sale. :-)

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  29. obviously Rob is at the top of my Five Famous Fucks list and everyone else is lagging way behind. I guess #2 on the list is Jake Gyllenhaal. I can't picture what that movie would be. I can't even imagine a Rob/Jake sandwich. They seem so different. I can't wrap my head around it.

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  30. Rob nd chace crawford :)

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  31. Robert Pattinson (fucking duh), and Olivier Martinez. If you don't know who he is, run (don't walk, skip, or mosey) and see 'Unfaithful'. Now.

    xx
    E

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  33. @hippievag - gah. fucking gah. ...makes me wants me some dbsm w/DM

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  34. @Living with Edward and @neverthink: Yes it was SO awkward!! Lol! My presentation rated well on the feedback forms though - not sure if it was what I said (it was about tax so I highly doubt it) or the women in the audience enjoying the pics or for providing the men with a laugh at my expense...LOL

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  35. oh hippievag you've got me inspired for a kissing scene now. mmmmm here's my softer side *lites candles, pours wine*

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZWrvjli88mw

    matthew goode - freebie 5. sooo got a thing for the accent. *sigh*

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  37. I too have to have a celeb crush - always have. Even as a kid, I super crushed on Davy Jones from the Monkees (yes, I am that old...shush). As a teen it was Donny Osmond (still love me a little Donny-O), Vincent Van Patten, Parker Stephenson (he was the cutest Hardy Boy!) and...gasp...the Bay City Rollers.

    Currently, my cele crushes are (aside from Rob): Jon Bon Jovi, Patrick Dempsey, Colin Firth, Keith Urban, Ian Somerhalder, Peter Facinelli....

    But I think my dream twosome would have to be Rob and Jon Bon Jovi.....both of them can play me like their guitars and make me sing!

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  39. @To Twicat & Hypoallergenic Vagina - Thank you! Your posts made me feel so much better about myself cause I've taken some major ribbing from Cullenary Curser and Mrs P for my mad Donny crush :)

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  40. @ LWE - I am silly. It's what these fuckers do to me. Dammit! Now I have to add more to the list!

    Paul Wesley and RPattz - I'm diggin' on the vamp vibe.

    If he could stay sober long enough to make another movie, I might consider Robert Downey, Jr. for a role next to the new Rob.

    My fave, all time, hands down - Harry Connick, Jr.
    Even crazy "Copycat" Harry! I'm a jazzy whore like that! Harry on piano, Rob on guitar in a coffee house and they're both in love with the same...uh...barista girl, yeah. We could do a caffeinated piano-top love scene (a-la Pretty Woman.)

    OK, I got a little carried away with this one. But, ungh, it was so much fun! I'm gonna have nice dreams tonight.

    (*bows to LKW* thank you, o gifted one)

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  42. (re-post #2) My duo nomination of crotchsplosion movie magnifica would have to be Monica Bellucci and Christina Hendricks. The movie would be a gas lamp fantasy of mad science, action and romance! (a whole lot lest wandery and mad than the original post that was eaten.)

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  43. Okay this movie/theme/duo would me make fucking lose an ovary.

    Martin Scorsese director

    Name of the Movie; Sunshine Boys set in Florida late 60’s. Mafia. (war within the mafia families)

    Rob Pattinson and Leo DiCaprio as ruthless hitman. Since it’s a Scorsese film, we also cast Brad Pitt and Benecio Del Toro.

    (Can you tell I’ve thought this fantasy out?)

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  45. Love all the 40+ fangirls chiming in. My last crushes of this magnitude were Paul Michael Glaser and Shaun Cassidy. Kevin Costner also had a long run in the 90s that I'm quite sentimental about.

    Now if I could cast Rob in my fantasy sandwich movie it would probably be Ewan McGregor or Christian Bale. Age is just a number baby, right?

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  46. PS - Snarky - I loved Little Darlings and vividly remember seeing it at the drive-in with my best friend who personified Kristy McNichol in real life. I wish Matt Dillon did more now - he's just getting better with age.

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  47. I have had a crush on Johnny Depp for as long as I can remember. So, the Depp-Pattinson duo is definitely the one for me. However, for the sake of diversity I'm gonna say that Pattinson and Josh Holloway, running around half naked would make my vagina quiver with painful yearning.

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  48. Ummmm..well,I am with LKW on this one. A JDepp/RPattz sandwich would be awful nice. If I had to choose another combo I would keep it all British and go for the Ewan McGregor/RPattz special--they would be great together...all hot badboy, smokin', accent talkin', stubbly goodness. Yep. That would be goooooood.

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  50. I would be thinking about a RPattz/JDepp combo or always with RPattz but maybe Christian Bale, Antonio Sebato Jr (when he was younger), or a young Tyson Beckford.

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  51. I am a Johnny fan too...Daniel Radcliff (mmmmm....Harry Potter)....James McAvoy...Orlando Bloom....and...Rob for dessert...and that ladies is just my list for actors! I have another list for musicians! David Bowie, Kurt Cobain (in my world he is still alive), Bob Dylan (via the 60's...in my dreams he stays frozen at that age), and Elvis Costello (who my husband just happens to look like)...I think I may be a bit of a whore.

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  52. RPattz and James Franco....mmmm

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  53. Mine would be RPattz and Jensen Ackles. Yummy!

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  54. I have never felt about an actor the way I do about Robert. So it's hard to say. I'll take a date with RPattz with a splash of Edward Cullen please.

    I remember thinking that I needed to know who Matthew McConaghey (sp?) was in A Time To Kill. But ever since then it's been... meh.

    I like Brad Pitt, Johnny D., Jake G., Ryan G. I also have a thing for Ben Affleck. Cheese, I know.

    But it's really all RPattz all the time.

    Oh, and I would love to see him in a remake of 16 candles just for the last scene. Had a huge crush on "Jake".

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  55. So many beautiful men and so little time... as much as I'm in love with JDepp, I also wouldn't hate seeing RPattz team up with James McAvoy -- both speaking with their native accents. {{melts}}

    @HonGirl - I love your scenario - Scorsese, Pattinson, DiCaprio... genius. Just please don't let Marty off the precious in this movie.

    Thanks for all the beautiful, wonderful comments. I seriously love you all!

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  56. So many beautiful men and so little time... as much as I'm in love with JDepp, I also wouldn't hate seeing RPattz team up with James McAvoy -- both speaking with their native accents. {{melts}}

    @HonGirl - I love your scenario - Scorsese, Pattinson, DiCaprio... genius. Just please don't let Marty off the precious in this movie.

    Thanks for all the beautiful, wonderful comments. I seriously love you all!

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  57. RPatz of course!!! And than Stuart Townsend...sigh...dressed as Lestat....double sigh ;)

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  58. I'm really trying to think of a pairing that would get me all hot and bothered (though RPattz does it quite well on his own) but I just can't. I mean, Jake G.admittedly makes my ladybits but tingle and I used to kind of have the hots for Matt Damon (and until someone said he looked like my brother and now I'm fucking scarred for life) but there really is no one that makes me as gooey as RPattz, actor-wise.

    I'll have to mull this over some more while I'm listening to Man Man... oh, Honus Honus...

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  59. Do we get to see a pic of JJ's brother? Strictly for comparison purposes.

    @smartEpantz--The accents of Oliver and Rob--together?
    Done & Died at that thought. Why is OM not in more movies?

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  60. i want two robs. and one has to be acting like bb from the office. or maybe rob and chris evans (the dude that was in that lame movie "push" with dakota fanning). on a totally unrelated topic, did anyone see kstew on jay leno? how hard must rob have been watching kstew work her master wrist action! and with that look on her face, you know that was what she was thinking too! ok, i feel sick and twisted that this is what i am thinking about at 7am. gonna go crawl back under my rock now...

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  61. Ugh, I have to get this out even though it's completely unrelated. I'm at work and can't watch the trailer, but I looked through some of the stills pulled from it... What.in.the.hell??!!?? Is that pancake make-up REALLY that bad?! It's worse than in Twilight. I am so afraid...

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  62. I'm with @mmMoxie and would have to have Jake Gyllenhaal (I have to google his name every time I type it) as my #2, RPattz is #1 of course.

    I've always had celebrity crushes, but I've never looked at a celebrity and gotten turned on, until RPattz that is. Christ, I've dreamt of him the last few nights, WTF is wrong with me??

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  63. Oh wait, just read further and @HonoluluGirl, you've hit the fantasy nail on the head!!

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  64. James McAvoy and RPattz! Pant pant pant... please excuse my vagina.

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  65. The man-candy pinata has exploded! Why not add a little Brad Pitt and Sean Connery (from my little girl days).

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  66. @Julie Winters - "what the fuck is wrong with me?"
    That's easy: You're Twitarded!

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  67. Please tell me there weren't two references to "The Outsiders" in two days?! I feel old.

    I'd vote for Orlando Bloom. The accents, the jaws... it would be delicious.

    That said, there are some other yummy suggestions here too... would love to see him with Leo DiCaprio, James McAvoy. And Dermot Mulroney, OMG.... LOVED him in "The Wedding Date."

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  68. OMFE -- early 90's was ALL about Antonio Banderas. It started when his bewitching hotness showed up in Interview With a Vampire (as the Vampire Armand) and then exploded over Desperado. I literally moan and pant during that movie. My husband used to refuse to watch it with me. Lately he put it on trying to drag me out of my Robward/Twilight obsession. It didn't work -- but I was sure hot & wet to see him again!

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  69. I would have to say that I LOVE Kellan & Jackson but if it needs to be someone not in Twilight...
    I'd like to see Rob in a movie with either Jason Dohring or Henry Cavill. I think I had heard that Stephenie Meyer originally wanted Henry Cavill to play Edward but he was too old by the time this all happened. MMMMMmmmmm...

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  70. rob and gael garcia bernal.
    if you don't know who he is, google him. god knows i want to.

    on second thought...here ya go: http://www.worleygig.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/gael-garcia-bernal.jpg

    and if i wanted to be extra kinky (and let's face it, i DO) i'd throw in spike from buffy. yeah, i said it.

    and my mind wanders...

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  71. Just two? Come on, LKW...You know we need to do a gang-bang edition of this, right? I'm voting for RPatz & Edward Norton. ...Jesus. Just thinking about them in the same room makes me wonder why I bother with undergarments at all.

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  72. @TongueTwied I know right??? That's why I'm posittve that seeing Bel Ami is gonna fucking kill me ded. Just hearing Rob say 'Guy de Maupassant' makes my vagina whimper. I totes have a thing for accents!!

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  73. I discovered this blog when I was searching for punky brewster pictures so that I can dress up appropriately for my school's (I'm a middle school teacher) 80s day and as it turns out I am addicted to Twilight too. I fucking looooooove reading your blog. I've been reading it every day at lunch for the past week. You guys crack me up. I love it that there are people just like me who talk about twilight and specifically Rpatts the way me and my comadre (spanish for gossip mate) do. Keep up the brilliant work! I'm so sharing your blog with other friends.

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  74. My dream duo is definitely Rpatts and.....Bradley Cooper. aaahh dream.

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  75. I will cop to the Matt Dillon crush and I go back a wee bit further than 1983....it was 1979 and a little teen rebellion movie called "Over the Edge"....he was the bad boy and damn did I want him bad! And then "Little Darlings" (1980) with Kristy McNichol....so hot! Ok, I need to stop right now!

    I now realize this is where my inner slut began making her self known to me!

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  76. Ya know, I have been pondering the duo of deliciousness and I swear nobody has made me stop breathing and say "who the fuck is that??!!" like RPattz has. Nobody has me reading multiple fan blogs daily, posting on said blogs, collecting pics like some ridic 13 year old, making them my desktop background and screen saver (home lappie only), squee like a fan girl, inhale fan fiction as fast as I can (he will always be any variation of Edward) and other assorted obsessive behavior....even a year later it boggles my mind....so I am going to stay a one man girl....at least for now.

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  77. GAWD so hard to choose... but I would have to go with Rob and Colin Firth as others have recommended. But James McAvoy...hmmmmm. If only Heath Ledger were still with us!

    I think Rob would outdo Firth as Mr. Darcy in Pride and Prejudice, I didn't like the guy in the latest remake... all wrong, shoulda been Rob with Keira Knightley and McAvoy as Mr. Bingley.

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  78. I looove Johnny Depp. Even as the Mad Hatter (glad I'm not the only one, TooMuchCoffee!). So him and the Pattz would be a good one. But if I wanted to go back to my teen crush, it would have to be Ewan McGregor as Obi-Wan Kenobi. Oooh, did someone mention Stewart Townsend? Me likey him too. Mmmmm. If I got to pick musicians, it would be between Chris Cornell, John Frusciante or Tim Commerford from RATM.

    Jake Gyllenhall? Really? He scruffs up pretty well for Prince of Persia, but otherwise he doesn't do anything for me. James McAvoy does't do it for me either, but he has THE BEST fake Irish accent I've ever heard.

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  79. I think this would cover the bases for me:
    Robert Pattinson
    Lee Pace
    Johnny Depp
    Alexander Skarsgard

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  80. Rob and young Elvis. A little impossible, but this is a fantasy right?
    In a movie or my bed.

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  81. Alex O'loughlin ( vampire in Moonlight and almost my age so it makes me feel better! )

    Gerard Butler in 300!!! OH MY GOD I LOVE HIM!!!

    Karl Urban in Doom, SO HOT!!

    and yes I have loved Johnny since 21 Jump Street, by the way I am almost 37 :)

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  82. Damn, i was trying to think, "who was I in love w/ before Rpatz?" and I seriously can't fucking remember, he's consumed me! So I guess I'll just stick with what I need - and that's him! That being said..As a 32yo, if I wanted to think of the opposite spectrum- I got my boytoy Rpatz, I'd take a side dish of Dr Dru! He's a lil older than what I'd normally go for, but something about that man is hot!

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  83. @Twi-Me? I guess I can no longer deny that I have fallen fast down the rabbit hole. I have arrived.

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  84. @Honolulu Girl: Will you be requiring a Fluffer for this movie? *whips out resume/dossier*

    @Twicat *ahem* Shaun Cassidy was the first album I bought, I had a life-size cutout, posters all over my wall..I beg to differ over who was "the cutest Hardy Boy" ;-)

    On to present day..I have never had a crazy obsession with a celebrity before..this has gotten ridiculous. I've always loved Johnny Depp..but that's as far as it goes-no posters/trolling the internet..just a wallpaper & wistful sighs at his mention.

    Enter: Twilight..RPattz has turned me into an "obsessed 12 y/o girl" as my son likes to say lol. I suck up anything/everything that has to do with The Precious. I am obsessive about changing my desktop at work..diff pic everyday-at work, people who don't know me say "oh-you're the Twilight Girl" and everyone buys me Twilight themed stuff for all holidays.

    I was at a passion party last night and we went sofar as to say we should get a life-size cutout & one of the vibes with the suction cup...goddamn we're so far gone...

    So my dynamic duo could be Rob-who is mandatory..and any combo of Depp/Askars/Somerhalder/Holloway/Wesley/Christensen. And I might let Lautner lick the outside of my panties now that he's 18.

    *wait-what is the topic of this Post? LOL..Top 5 fucks or sandwich ingredients?* Off topic yet again..

    I know!! We'll make it like that Imaginarium movie..and they can all play the same character & I can hit all 5 and call it a day...A fucking glorius fucktastic pantypalooza poppin unforgettable day!! Who's with me?

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  85. Ladies,
    Please consider a pairing of the Precious and Darth Vader. Hear me out. Notice the curl of Rob's mouth as he smirks at Bella in his bedroom. "I could Make you." Same curl to Hayden Christensen's lips in almost any scene when he's lusting at Padme.
    They're both tall, slim, elegant. Oh so pretty.
    I know that it might never happen. But, it would be so GOOOOOOD.

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  86. Back in the day it had to be Rob Lowe. What can I say, I let 'em pretty! Rob is all I think about now. Sick, really ;)

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  87. LOL @ Twicat We're sharing a demographic, friend!

    Oh, I could hide 'neath the wings
    Of the bluebird as she sings

    And I used to have a Donny Osmond album cover taped to my door...at kissing height, of course!

    But what, no shout out to Bobby Sherman? Poor Bobby gets no lovin.

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  88. @To Twicat & Hypoallergenic Vagina - Thank you! Your posts made me feel so much better about myself cause I've taken some major ribbing from Cullenary Curser and Mrs P for my mad Donny crush :)

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  89. @Living with Edward and @neverthink: Yes it was SO awkward!! Lol! My presentation rated well on the feedback forms though - not sure if it was what I said (it was about tax so I highly doubt it) or the women in the audience enjoying the pics or for providing the men with a laugh at my expense...LOL

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  90. @edwardsisobel: That must have been awkward!

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  91. Herein lies the problem.

    While I find loads of other actors hot...ya put them anywhere near the Pattz and they immediately lose their appeal.

    Like watching a scene of Matt Damon in "Ocean's 11." He's so totally adorable. But when Brad Pitt walks in and stands next to him, poor Matt Damon looks about as attractive as a troll doll.

    Everyone is doomed.

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