Thursday, March 4, 2010

Twitarded Central Has A New Address!

Twitarded has a new home!!!

No, no - not a new online home - we have a new brick & mortar home!

Fort Twitarded. Reinforced concrete and electric fencing. Take THAT, Twi-haters!

OK I kid... Sort of... Let me explain all proper-like:

We get occasional emails from our fellow Twitards asking us for our address. People send us the most amazing stuff! We'll save the details of "awesome things you give us" for another day, but suffice it to say that a day when the mailman shows up with something addressed to Jenny Jerkface, Snarkier Than You, or Twitarded is a happy day indeed. We always wait until we are together to open stuff (and ML had almost been harmed for "accidentally" almost opening a package addressed to Jenny - hands off our things, dude!) and it usually involves a lot of squealing, mayhem, and giddiness.

And we wanted a place that Twitarded could call home. And where Latchkey Wife and her minions won't be able to find us [I kid!]. And now we have it!

I am please to announce the grand opening of our home-away-from-our-homes (which is conveniently located about half way between where I live and where JJ lives)! From now on, you can snail-mail things to us here:

Snarkier & Jenny
55 Raritan Ave STE 2142
Highland Park NJ 08904

If you do a super-panic-inducing google-world satellite image search of this location, you will not see a satellite photo of Jenny Jerkface or me passed out on our front lawns - yay!

Not us! Swear! [but Google Earth = paranoia-inducing shit!]

We had a little conversation earlier about whether to post our new addy or not...

To: Jenny Jerkface
From: Snarkier Than You
Subject: should we or shouldn't we?

Just to get all paranoid for a sec, do you think it’s ok to put that up on the blog for anyone to use or are people going to send us dead animals and beheaded mini-edwards?

Fro: JJ
Re: should we or shouldn't we?

I’m not sure. Of course we are being paranoid... Oh and btw our paranoia is apparently a regional thing and people in other parts of the country don’t seem to understand why we think everyone is a deranged psycho killer who may or may not send us used panties if we give them our address. Or a bomb. [note: used panties will be sold to the highest bidder on eBay or given to weirdos on Craigslist.]

From: STY
To: JJ
Re: should we or shouldn't we?

Hey if The Bloggess can post her addy we can too. It’ll be fine. Probably. I think. Ok someone will murder us but we’ll be LEGENDS. I smell my legacy, and it smells like an anthrax-laced letter bomb. [note to the FBI or CIA agent reading this: I KID! And besides I was saying someone would send that to US not the other way around – see? It’s funny!! laugh, dammit!]

So there you have it.

In conclusion: Send us stuff. If you want to. Nothing alive (or formerly alive unless it's Edward), stinky (unless it's Eau de Hobo), blow-y upp-y (unless it's a blow-up Edward doll), or illegal (unless... OK no unless here).

P.S. This address is a UPS store. So you might see this:

Uh... Yeah I should stick to writing and leave the photo manips to the pros. Even I am creeped out. A lot. Don't blame me for FACEinHOLE's lack of non-toddler UPS-man templates, ok?


  1. I think that's the creepiest fucking photo I've ever seen. Scratch that - those are the TWO creepiest photos. Did the GoogleCam not notice that person passed out? WTF, Google? Photoshop much?

    Now, where did I put my anthrax...

  2. Is that a real Google Earth photo?? LMAO

    Thanks for the new address...adding to book now :) Oooo what should I send to Twitarded first?? hmmmm :)

  3. OK STY I love you dearly, but you are correct that you should stick to writing and NOT photo manips. That is one horribly creepy photo!

  4. Um, so if that is a UPS store, are you guys so famous that they just automatically know who Snarkier and Jenny are? LMAO

    Um...toddler UPS Rob is super creepy. Shit, who am I to say, I can't manip for shit.

    xo J

  5. too funny--I'm thinking the only reason google-cam DOESNT have a pic of you two lying in front of your homes because you were INSIDE passed out drunk, with your laptops and wine glasses askew...aka JJ after the Twitardia united dvd-a-thon last week...

    that UPS pic is like the pictoral answer to the question "what do you get if you cross Rob Pattinson with a circus carney?" lol...never wanted to know the answer to that and now we all know why. *shudder*

  6. hey and jftr i was talking about OTHER people - random non-twitarded-lurkers - who make us paranoid! not YOU guys - i love YOU crazy whore flaps! (true story)

    : )

    p.s. this is what happens when JJ leaves me alone with the blog for the night.

  7. Oh, I have a feeling that Christmas will come early for you gals now. haha Can't wait to see all "the awesome things you give us" post.

  8. Sweet, congrats on the new address and here, this is a good picture of Rob the hot UPS driver!

  9. So I wonder what The UPS store would do if they were to have a damaged box, and the contents where a sparkle peen, a blow up doll with Rob's faced afixed to it (much like that UPS dude, creepy) and a giant tub of lube... Maybe we should find out!

  10. @ HG - THANK YOU for that UPS Rob picture. I knew it was out there somewhere. That is MUCH better to see before bed :)

  11. YAY! Now I don't have to feel all creepy-stalkerish for wanting to ask for an address for you two!

    And yes STY - please no more toddler-UPS-Rob - UGH!

  12. My manip skillz may suck balls, but fuck me if that's not the creepiest thing I've ever seen *shudders* That will haunt my nightmares tonight.

    Congrats on the address, now I need to think of something cool to send you...No, JJ, I'm not going to send you a bottle of Irish whiskey.

    Veri-word: whing. Bella's whing-ing is a large part of why I don't bother with BD any more.

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  16. OMG! That UPS toddler photo is uber creepy!!! So wrong.

    @HG--Thank you for giving us the way better version.

    @STY--Do you remember how many times I told you I wasn't a stalker when I asked for you address way back when? Yep, I think the UPS address will save you from people like me. ;-)XO

  17. Hmmm...what to send, what to send... Well, if I took a hint from my grandmother-in-law, it would probably be a plastic jello mold. (Yup, she gave me that at my bridal shower.) Or I could take a page from my brother's book, and send you a t-shirt that says "Wanna bump uglies?" (Yup, he gave me that for my b-day one year. I didn't have the nerve to wear it and it creeped me out that it was from my brother anyway.)

    I'll have to stink on it. Meanwhile, it will be so much freakin' fun seeing what all these other crazy bitches start sending!

  18. Thank you. I just saw a run over rat on the street, and thought it'd make an excellent gift for STY, you know, just in case her cat got hungry for some exotic food like Serbian rats. :D

  19. Fantastic! Looks like it'll be harder for me to fuck up that address!

    Now what am I going to send you two next...*peers over at knitting needles*

  20. apologies to everyone who had their sleep disturbed by "little person UPS rob" - he is absolutely nightmare-inducing - lol!

    uh @Jelena - um my cat's a vegetarian?? or something?? nooooo!!! not a serbian rat!!!

    : )

    & penis-shaped lip gloss??? hmm... make sure they sparkle! (and is it wrong that i am 99% sure they sell that very item on etsy?).

    RL beckons llllllaaaaadies! catch ya' later! i might try to post something early this afternoon since i realize the fact that we now have a PO box is not all that exciting or entertaining - lol...

    veriword = fecterat - you keep that fecte-ing rat away from us, jelena!

  21. hel-looo. sleep over at the twitarded house!

  22. I'm going to send you postcards from all my travels this year! Including one from Forks, even although you will both be there too. Adding address to my phone, be afraid, very afraid.....

    p.s. you don't have @texaskatherine's address by chance? I would love to send her something real special......

  23. Rob showing up at my door with a large package especially for me...WIN

    Three feet tall with elastic waist pants...FAIL

    Can't wait to see all the goodies you receive!

  24. I'm warning you ahead of time. If you get a package that's hopping around like a Bumble Ball, it's just RPattz. I'll send him to you once I'm done with him.

  25. Jeebus Chrispies that UPS RPattz is fucking TERRIFYING.

    @Jelena - don't let STY fool ya - she wants a rat. I suspect that there is only one set of keys to said mailbox so basically every package is going to have to go through STY - the good and the bad...

  26. What the...who...No. You know what? Just for trying to do the manip, you get a point. But for utter FAIL, I'm going to get it made into a life size (yes, it will be toddler size) cardboard cutout and send THAT to you. Because you deserve to have to look at that thing as often as possible. And when it arrives, I want it to be the new Mini-Edward. Oh, the places he'll go....

    Anyone wanna go in on this with me? I can't afford it on my own!

  27. @Lindsay Rae - Noooooo!!!!

    @Z any Mouse - just clean him up a tad - or not - he's still hawt when he's all diiiirty - lol! I'll be waiting...

    : )

    veriword = hoard "i'm totally gonna hoarc up my lunch if i have to look at mini-delivery-man-rpatts again!"

  28. i just have to say that is the nicest ups store i have ever seen.
    you guys are like sooo famous now!:)

  29. @Lray - i'm in on the cost sharing for upsweirdward. but i want one of my own when we order it. heh.

  30. very disturbing Face in the hole!

    Want to play DML tonight?

  31. I went one step further and did a google maps with DIRECTIONS search, from Sydney to Highland Park... very interesting.. especially the bit about kayaking across the Pacific Ocean.,+NSW,+Australia&daddr=Highland+Park,+NJ+08904,+USA&geocode=&hl=en&mra=ls&sll=7.240445,-153.140265&sspn=122.963627,223.242188&ie=UTF8&t=h&z=2

  32. Oh, I have a feeling that Christmas will come early for you gals now. haha Can't wait to see all "the awesome things you give us" post.


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