Ever since THAT picture hit the interwebs there has been quite a buzz in Twi-land. I mean, I swear to shit this picture is more buzzworthy than the grainy fuzzy shots of Bigfoot or the Loch Ness Monster or something.
We've caught a glimpse of the Elusive Peen.
Sure, we've all seen cock before in all its purple headed glory (or not so much), but I'm pretty sure NONE of us has seen a cock that just happens to be attached to Robert Pattinson.
But here's the thing -- is that bulge really the outline of his Beefy McManstick or is it something more innocent, like a banana or possibly a very large tube of chapstick? Maybe a billy club? I'm not sure.
If it's not a billy club, RPattz really needs to invest in one. Twenty bucks says the paparazzi won't be so cunty if he did...
Either way, whatever is lurking in RPattz's pants in that picture is... large and if it is what we all hope it is, I'd be frightened if I was KStew because that looks more like a poon pounder than a fucking fiddlestick, if you get my drift.
My first thought upon viewing this photo (besides, huh? I don't see anythin-- ooooooh, yes I do!!!) was "is he sportin' a chubbie, or is that One-Eyed Willie in his "lazy" state? " If it's the former then I can only assume that angry RPattz is "at-least-semi-hard RPattz". If it's the latter, well, then KStew, I feel for your vagina. And your uterus. Because if that's at it's shrinky-dinkiest... that's not a cock. It's a fucking machine. And it's coming to beat the shit out of your vagina.
And let's not even start on how unfair it is that not only is RPattz extremely good looking in the first place, but he's also packing some serious heat? What the fuck? He just totally screwed the bell curve of hotness for all other guys, that's for sure.
But is it really his man-sword? I have to say that (as slightly disturbed as I am even posting this) I don't think it is. I think it's just the way the fabric falls, if you will.
What do you think?