Tuesday, July 27, 2010

While We're Ranting About Eclipse...

Get ready, get set, RANT! Just a little one. Promise.

As I said back when we first stood from the collective rooftops of Twitardia and sang the praises of Eclipse, there would come a time when we would have to chat about some of the things that maybe were...less than awesome. Last night, Latchkey Wife (who celebrated her birthday today - the BIG 4-0! which of course we didn't mention until now because we only really freak out about about the birthday of one man and one vampire, aaand we kinda thought she might kill us if we made a big stink), finally got her beef with not-towering-over-Edward "Weecob" off of her chest. Girl's gotta right to vent; while I DO appreciate some or Catherine Hardwick's casting choices, it would have been kind of hard for her to cast someone who could capture the "holy crap you've grown a foot in the last year" nature of Jacob. Try writing "mandatory growth spurt" into a contract and see how far you get. I'm not a lawyer, but I don't see it flying.

So now seems as good a time as any to jump on the flogging bandwagon and get a few of the things that I didn't like about Eclispe out of my system. Venting is good (it's not healthy to hold it all in or you'll end up kicking puppies or something), so here goes!

While I was ok with Bella being less whiny in the movie, I thought it was a teeny bit of a cop-out to make Edward SO much less controlling than he is in the books. Actually LETTING Bella hop on to the back of Jake's motorcycle and not doing a thing about it? I don't think so. I get get wanting to tone that down, but it wasn't really true to the character (this is probably my last "serious-ish" conversation about the characters for quite a while, so humor me, m'kay? thx.).

You know what's coming...

Bryce Dallas Howard as Victoria. No. I tried, but just no. I am glad that she bought the farm in Eclipse because while I think she is a mighty fine actress and all, she just could not hold a flame to Rachelle Lefevre in this particular role. I guess we will never know exactly why Rachelle was replaced/what the real story is, but I missed her in Eclipse. {{{sniffle}}} Bryce looked...odd with her Shirley-Temple-on-steroids ringlets and didn't capture the character's feral, fierce nature the way that Rachelle did. Plus she sounded petulant and whiny. Sure, the voice was supposed to be "little girly" to some extent, but not quite that much, imho.

I miss you, Rachelle! Just sayin'...



I'd totally let you guys buy us a round in Forks... Please?

Speaking of vampires who piss me off: Bree. Or in particular, her complete lack of bloodlust in her final moments. I have NO idea how after the description in the book and ENTIRE BOOK she has all to herself how this didn't get covered, but it didn't. What happened to her practically writhing around? Digging her hands into the ground?? Being in agony because she. had. to. eat. Bella. NOW??? None of that?! WTF??? I don't get it. It seems like one of those moments where nobody was paying attention to the book at all. Obviously we've all learned to not compare the books to the movies TOO much, but I was ticked by that bit for some reason.

We've done a pretty decent job of voicing our opinions on the various wig and makeup fails, but seriously, who did Elizabeth Reaser piss off? Seriously, she looked like a man in drag. And not a very attractive one. She's a beautiful woman and she looks like she got beat to bits with an ugly stick in most of the scenes she is in.

Where was THIS gorgeous couple in Eclipse??? (twitpic from Peter Facinelli!)

And speaking of ugly vampires, how come none of the vampire army was particularly hot??? Aren't all Twilight vampires supposed to be impossibly attractive? Again, if they had hired just ONE person from the fandom - hired? hell - they could have gotten a bevvy of volunteers! We would have taken a collection and paid them ourselves! Just so long as those little details were not overlooked, because there's really no reason.

Messing with lines from the book for no good reason. Like when Bella says Edward is "old school." Which isn't really exactly the same thing as saying he's "old fashioned" when explaining why he hasn't boinked Bella yet.

I DID love Jasper's back-story, but I thought Rosalie's was a little rushed. I guess you can't include everything into a two-hour movie, but it just seemed like they could have built that part up a bit.

And the fail in the tent scene? The tent scene!! There should NOT have been any distracting fails in the tent scene, for fuck's sake! But there was: Bella's burgundy-red lips. Because the last time I checked, when you are experiencing borderline hypothermia, your lips are probably going to be blue, not red. It was one of the things that Edward found so alarming and one of the reasons that he allowed Jacob to grind against Bella right under his nose all night long.


You know you have one...

So what were your pet peeves about Eclipse? C'mon - fess up - I know there's something sticking in your craw, no matter what sexual favors we all promised to David Slade we all promised! (er, from JJ, that is...)


P.S. On a side-rant (if I can be so self-indulgent), how come when I do an image search for recent pictures - oh I don't know, say of the cast of Eclipse in character - I find NOTHING??? WTF is up with that???

89 comments:

  1. Can I be first? Squeee!

    Alright, just commented on LKW's post and kind of want to keep this ball rolling!

    Totes agree with the lack of cold continuity thing after tent scene (and during - red lips? no red nose? no frosty breath?)

    I miss Rachelle too. *sigh*

    And just this - affectless Bella, while maybe better than whining Bella - still sucks ass. Makes me worry about teenage girls. Cry for f**k's sake! Smile real big! Show the lust! Really, for that last one! Lust! Not only is the character Edward supposedly the hottest man on the planet, but, c'mon! It's Rob you're mackin here!

    Also totes agree about uggo newborn army. And in the Jasper flashback. That kid he killed? He was gorgeous, ummmm, how?

    Kisses, biotches and this was awesome. Really. And I love Eclipse and everything about Twi - even the ridiculous stuff. Just so that's clear.

    ReplyDelete
  2. As usual I agree with everything you just said (although I amazingly overlooked the red lips in the tent). I do know we are getting some extra scenes with Vera and a longer crazy bride attack scene for Rosalie on the blu-ray though (David the pimp slade said so)
    Anyways, I posted my love and anger on this post: http://dailytwimes.blogspot.com/2010/07/freakin-huge-spoilerific-eclipse-post.html

    ReplyDelete
  3. @shipstress - THANK YOU for dissing the morning-after-the-not-too-bad-tent-scene. Gah. She's fucking freezing to death half the night, and then runs around in the snow with no jacket (and no misty breath, Scummit could have at least tried to make it look cold). I live in an area notorious for snow and cold, and NO ONE gets out of a tent without wearing absolutely EVERYTHING they brought (especially that cute striped hat).

    I've had the pleasure of meeting Jay Leno, he's about 5'9" or so (my height!). So, when one of my favs is on, I know exactly how tall they are. No "standing in a ditch!" Love that line.

    There may be hope for Taylor. Men can grow until their early 20s (height, you pervs!). Scummit has taken so fucking long to start BD, maybe by then he WILL be taller than The Precious.

    ReplyDelete
  4. So many to name besides wee little Jacob.

    The fake snow. Not just because Bella didn't wear her jacket after almost getting hypothermia.

    But it looked like we were in the Christmas decoration section of Macy's. I kept expecting to see a claymation Rudolf, Hermey the Elf dentist and Yukon looking for the Island of Misfit Toys walking by.

    And not just a lack of tears from Bella, but a lack of any fear or post battle freak-out whatsoever.

    Even Edward gasped in horror as he pulled off Victoria's doll head. And he's seen it all.

    But Bella...nothing. She just stares open mouthed like she's watching TV. No big deal. I'm surprised she didn't pull out her commemorative 'Eclipse' popcorn bucket and start munchin away.

    So many more, I'm sure I'll remeber later.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Shit. How could I have forgotten the silk flowers in the meadow? Double Gah. With the money that Scummit has made on this francise alone, they could have sprung for a few bouquets from Wegmans.

    ReplyDelete
  6. The first time I saw it, I loved it, but...upon reflection Am I The Only One who hated the "I am woman, hear me roar" speech by Bella at the end in which she "she puts Edward in his place" and tells him guess what, it's not about, it's never been about you, it's all about me! WTF??? It's always been about Edward. And that's OK - when you fall in love with someone with all your heart and the person loves you with all his heart and that person is beautiful inside as well heart-stoppingly handsome and he only wants you to be happy - Jeez where's the harm? And Edward was emasculated throughout IMHO. In the scene in the meadow when he's asking her to marry him. wrong on so many levels. I loved all the closeups of The Pretty of course and will buy the DVD and watch this movie that could have been so much better 100 times or more. And, one more thing I get so tired of hearing "Oh, I loved the wolves". Really? Great but this is not a movie about WOLVES!!!!
    OK, Done.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Bella wasn't whiny because she was just - nothing. Boring and flat. I've seen KStew in other stuff when she was younger and she was pretty good. WTF happened to her?

    The lack of kissing Edward back with any enthusiasm did drive me completely nuts for a split second but then again I really don't notice Bella that much during those scenes. *wink and a nod*

    Maybe it's like that episode of Friends where Joey tells Chandler that as long as there is chemistry on stage it means the two actors aren't fucking. Once the chemistry is gone, yeah, they're totally fucking. Is that what happened to KStew? It didn't happen for Rob 'cause he was trying to kiss the hell outta her!

    Pretty much disappointed in KStew's performance in all 3 movies. She needs to get her confidence back.

    Prior to the movie even being released I was pissed at the clip where Bella rides off with Jacob in front of Edward. TOTALLY would never happen! He looked a fool! A fool I tell you! Soooo not in character. Bah!

    WV: argingl - the frustrated sound I make when watching KStew kill Bella on screen.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'm was having the same problem trying to find pics of the Eclipse cast in character...wtf?! AND I hate the new google image format. What gives?

    I totally agree with the whole BDH as Victoria beef. She was atrocious. I dont' think it's her fault, I just think they just couldn't find anyone better than Rachelle. She rocked it.

    As far as Bella's lips, I never noticed, but now I'm going to have to go see it again. Darn. Also...LMAO about Elizabeth Reaser...I kept thinking she looked like a drag queen!

    xo J

    ReplyDelete
  9. Sorry -- I'm still back on the Weecob thing. I like Taylor...seems like a nice kid and all, but I never bought him as Jacob. Babycob, maybe, but as a believable rival for Robward? No friggin' way. Especially after someone mentioned Steven Strait for the role (look him up, seriously). I saw him and that, my friends, was that. If Bella'd had to make out for what seemed like 20 minutes with THAT guy, I think I wouldn't have been cringing like I was at that ridiculous Bella-Jacob kiss on the mountain.

    And speaking of kissing, I'm also totally with those who were bothered by Kristen's not seeming to be into kissing Rob. What's with that? Her lack of comfort with PDAs is now extending to her role as Bella? Kristen! It's OKAY to act like you like him, a'right?? You're not giving the paparazzi orgasms when it's IN THE FREAKIN' MOVIE! I like Kristen, I really do, and I think she's good as Bella, but that...that is just irritating in so many ways.

    My other thing is the Volturi -- what exactly is their purpose again? They fly all the way over from Italy to walk up, do a synchronized hoodie-lowering, say a few lines, and then leave again. Oh, and kill Bree, whose purpose I can't figure out either. They just seem so...I dunno...lame. Or maybe that's just me.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I agree with all that you guys have said ...my," I can't believe they did that moment" is at the end of the fight Emett has a dirty face and everyone else looks spotless clean , how can this be?? ohh and when Bree gets kills not one tells her ( or Bella ) to close her eyes , and how after the final fight b/w Edward and Victoria, Bella does not freacks out ...I have few more but I will leave it there ..It was like there was no attention to small details, hopefully now that Stephanie is on for the next 2 maybe just maybe we will get a better more detail story ...Reading your blogs is always a pleasure ...good night

    ReplyDelete
  11. It drove me up the wall too that we didn't see blood-thirsty Bree, because that's a moment when Bella actually sees what might be in her future and doesn't change her decision. A wee bit important, no?

    ReplyDelete
  12. I'm not sure if it's been mentioned before, but one thing that bothered me was Edward's fail in the fight scene. He's supposed to be untouchable because he can anticipate moves. This bugged me in the first two movies, but even more so with this one because he had been trained to fight. I get that they were trying to create suspense, but it's a logical contradiction. Maybe I'm just nit-picking, though. Also, on the topic of ugly wigs and makeup, one thing I read (I think on E! Awful Truth) that I thought was funny was someone saying they thought Eclipse should win an Oscar in hair and makeup for making such a hot cast so fugly.

    ReplyDelete
  13. The only actor who looked fantastic in Eclipse was Rob and I didn't even say that just because I love him. Kristen didn't do it for me either. Lame back and forth one-liners and I agree with everyone with Edward and Bella kissing--it was only Edward who seemed so dying to make out. Apart from Robert and Billy Burke, only Rachelle could get away with acting the part without even saying anything, no offense to Bryce. Jackson's battle with the wigs is a lost cause :P
    I also agree with Edward supposedly being able to know and anticipate Victoria and Riley's actions in the fight scene--oh well, there's hollywood for you.
    Taylor's portrayal of Jacob is bullyish--but I never liked him as an actor so...
    I just thank God for Robert Pattinson.

    ReplyDelete
  14. 1)The wolves were too freakin small...maybe it comes from taycobs lack of tallness or something but arent the wolves supposed to be like 11 feet tall and shit? They looked like overgrown huskies...
    B)As much as I looooooove looking at Edward, wtf was with all the damn closeups, I swear David Slade hired some retired seventies porno cameramen with all the upsidedown/underneath angled nostril shots.
    Lastly, why'd they even bother calling her Bella in this one, 100% Kristen awkward mannerisms and eye rolls n shit....
    the end

    ReplyDelete
  15. Ugh! I don't visit Twitarded for a little teeny while and of course, miss some awesome posts.. Now I've gots to play catch-up.

    Yeh um totally agree w/ your stance on BDH/Victoria, STY. She just didn't convince me. And I kept on thinking-- how the hell is she supposed be seducing and manipulating this hot-piece-of-vampire-ass, Riley when she looks like a goddamn ginger poodle?! Ugh!

    Am I the only one who thought Bella's reaction time, throwing the punch after Jake kisses her was a little off??? It seemed like a good 10 seconds too long in b/w.

    Bella's speech at the end kinda irked me too ---"I've seen suffering... and death... or whatever....blah blah blah... Its all about me not you, Edward .... blah blah blah..."
    That was definitely an eye rolling moment for me. I wanted Edward to just tell her to STFU!

    I guess I'm going against the popular opinion here in saying that I thought E/B, R/K's chemistry was ON. I thought the kisses were hot, but hey what do I know.. maybe its just that Rob made 'em hot? *shrug*

    I know we're not talking lost scenes here but my overall, major gripe, which I'm still reeling over, is that they didn't include seductive Edward in the meadow, finally having a moment where he says fuck it and gives in to what he thinks Bella wants and looses himself if only for a bit. I thought that was kind of important because that put them on a more equal footing imo... in that it wasn't JUST Edward abstaining from the sexy times.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I agree with what you all have said and I wanted to add this: I thought that the scene after Bella kissed Jacob and Bella came back to Edward was important. They just skipped over that part. WTF and I hated it when Bella snacked her arm away from Edward and yelled "Don't". I also thought that they put to much emphasis on the Jacob and Bella kiss. They definitely screwed up the last scene, but one of my favorite things in the movie is when Edward (Rob)gives us that mischievous grin and says it's not all about me. But in the book it was all about Edward.

    ReplyDelete
  17. NOTHING nothing Nothing irked me as much as Kristen/Bella sauntering out of the tent after freezing her butt off the night before in nothing but a vest and a rolled up flannel shirt. The fuck?! Seriously it was so jarring to me it completely took me out of the movie. Put a damn sweater on for gawds sake. Annoying annoying annoying. And Bree hiding in the trees during the battle and then calmly standing behind the Cullens after. Did anybody there read the book? Also the fuglying up of the cast? Rosalie is the only one who looked better from movie to movie. I think Nikki Reed took that shit in hand.

    Other than that <3 the movie. Though I think New Moon is still my favourite.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Well I already posted this on LKW's post but I'm going to paste it on here too. Am I the only one who this bothers??
    The height bugged me but not half as much as Bella's scar from James! They made that fucker HUGE in Eclipse!! It looks like someone bit her (which they did) but that scar could never have been explained by her falling down some stairs and out a window! There is NO WAY Charlie or anyone else wouldn't have noticed that for what it was. Charlie would have been all "WHAT.THE.FUCK.DID.THAT.YELLOW-EYED.BASTARD.DO.TO.YOU"??!!
    Mmmmmm...yellow eyes...sighs..oh yeah,I was ranting..I'm done now :)

    ReplyDelete
  19. I really don't know why, but I have an easier time picturing Rachelle Lefevre as Tanya than as Victoria, maybe it's the hair color, or the fact that she's the only one of the vamps that was always hot in both movies. I could totally picture her as a succubus, and trying to put the moves on Edward. When I read FF Tanyas, it's her who I picture, except for the super annoying ones, because I actually like Rachelle. I guess I'm ok with BDH in Eclipse, because I want Victoria to be someone who I have no sympathy for and who I'm glad is dead at the end.

    ReplyDelete
  20. After Bella kissed Jacob, Edward was not supposed to look as if he was gonna cry! In the book he chuckled and said “And I thoughtI fought dirty,”. They made Edward really lame in the movie!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Happy Birthday LKW!!!!!!

    OK now to the bitching - here it goes:

    1. Jasper's flashback - why couldn't they include the diner scene when he meets Alice? Seriously it would have been 2 minutes more and mad a lot of people happy.

    2. Clothing - again - why can't they put Bella in a dress? I know they are trying to be edgy and all, but in the books Alice forces her into a dress in at least every book.

    3. I have to agree with STY on the Bree thing....SM wrote this whole side book (which I read and will never recover those 2 - 3 hours of my life back) and then they didn't include any of it in the movie. Seriously....if you go back and watch Twilight there are a few moments of Midnight Sun, but "The Short and Uneventful Second Life of Stephanie ( I mean Bree) Tanner didn't make crap in this movie.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Ahh, the rant post! I've seen the movie 4 times and these things irk me more and more...why is Bella dressed in jeans and a plaid shirt at the graduation party? Wasn't she supposed to be in a gorgeous dress given to her by Alice? That horrible crispy Serengeti meadow with fake purple and white flowers. Meadows are green and lush, Scummit, with a variety of wildflowers. IMHO, Catherine had the best meadow. What is with the hula dancer wolf movement? The hippogriff in Harry Potter was more realistic and that isn't even a real creature! Edward looked like he had a spare tire in those fugly sweat pants during the fight training. And that huge smear of Bella's blood across the tree when she only had a little drop at the end of her finger. The hair in Mad Men is gorgeous on a weekly TV show -- WTF happened in NM and Eclipse? Well, rant over, I still loved it and can't wait for the DVD!

    ReplyDelete
  23. So I agree with pretty much everything everyone is saying... my biggest gripe has to do with the hair/make-up (what's not to rant about there...) but inparticular I absolutely HATED Rosalie's eyebrows. They were black! I'm pretty sure we all know, blondes usually don't have black eyebrows. Seriosly, Scummit, you couldn't dish out a couple of bucks to pay for some bleach and tone those eyebrows a bit???!!? Don't get me wrong, Nikki Reed is absolutely gorgeous and I wish I looked as good as her... but I really could not stop staring at her eyebrows in disgust during the flashback scene. ugh. Also, Bella's graduation party outfit bugged the hell out of me. Yet another reason why Scummit needs a Twitard on the set for BD!

    Happy Birthday LKW!!!! xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  24. I just don't know why they made Carlisle look so fucking ugly with his weird low-hairline-having awful fake blond wig. SO BAD, and he is SO ATTRACTIVE.

    Also, the tent scene, in general, was crap. Edward wasn't mad/tortured enough. Jacob wasn't dirty enough. Bella was Bella, and who cares about that bitch?

    In the Bella tries to make Edward turn in his V-card scene, Edward just didn't really seem as desperate to screw her as I think a 100+ year old virgin 17 year old with the girl of his dreams begging him for sex should be. He was way too cool about saying no -- I wanted to see him struggle, and he didn't. I mean, I love me some Rob, so I am going to blame the director for the intensity fail in that scene. I've seen Rob do intense naughty-time in Remember Me, so I know he has it in him...

    Anyway.

    ReplyDelete
  25. I went to see eclipse last night for the 3rd time with muy two girlfriends, and we spent the hole movie giggling about a few things:
    - Carlisle's accent.
    - Esme's forehead.
    - Jacob's shortness and tiny nipples.
    - The So Unfit Wolfpack. I mean, I cover my eyes when thaose jello tummies come out! WTF??? Can´t they go to the gim???
    - Kristen's BAD wigs and good wigs ("There´s the good one! ooooh that´s a baaaad one...)
    - The goddamned BLACK volvo.
    - Horrible Victoria's hair.
    - Dakota F. looking sooo ugly.
    - Edward's cornyness in the proposal scene in the bedroom... WTF is that face????
    - Edward's horrible makeup in the snow scenes.
    - Bella's outfit in the snow... yeah, right...
    I´ll add to the list as soon as I remember more facts.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Eclipse: Team Jasper! the hottest part of the movie (if not the best) is Jazz and Alice training scene. SO HOT. Beautiful Jasper with his hair wet... not where it looks like an old lady's...

    ReplyDelete
  27. Yay, ranting is is one of my fave pastimes! Excellent rant STY! I totes agree with what you are saying. I hate when there are moments in the movie when you can actually say "BUT EDWARD CULLEN WOULDN'T DO THAT!"

    Besides Weecob (hahahaha) and his teeny tiny nipples, the next worst thing for me was:

    the newborn army, specifically the Seattle scenes. Where were the speed, the strength and the amazing jumping abilities? They looked ridiculous the way they were scurrying around. Is that how David Slade's zombies move? Anyhoo, I thought those scenes were a complete failure!


    And why the fuck were multiple vamps crouched over one body? This is a city, there are more people. Don't vamps have supersmell to sniff them out?


    Rosalie's eyebrows. They finally got her right, but the eyebrows needed to be a few shades lighter.

    And I can always find lines and scenes that I wish they had left in from the book, but the top of that list for me is Jasper's line "You held out your hand, and I took it without stopping to make sense of what I was doing. For the first time in almost a century, I felt hope." Sigh.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Too much PLAID!! Who wears a plaid flannel when they set out to seduce the love of their life for the very first time?? Yuck. Bella's clothing was hideous throughout.

    Taylor's histrionic "for just one second" mini-fit scene. Hello, acting!

    BDH- total no go as Victoria. Good elsewhere, but a missfire here. Bad wig, bad clothes, bad voice, weak attitude, etc. RLF was sorely missed.

    Fake, fake, fakey fake rocks & snow. Lame.

    Wolves were puny compared to New Moon. They seem to float. And their expressions were all the same...no character.

    One compliment-Excellent performance for Bella's mom. Very sweet.

    I've been to see this 9 times now (loser). And while I adore the characters and the story, this one is quite underwhelming. I hope BD is very different.

    ReplyDelete
  29. OOOHHH I forgot... what about Edwrd´s chest hair??? Aggggghhhhh... when I see those long curly hairs coming out of his shirt I want to take my eyeball out with a spike.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Esme looked so scary in some scenes, I almost had to hide my face. WTF?

    I didn't like BDH - I kinda wanted to punch her in her face and nearly cheered when Edward snapped her whiny head off.

    I'm tired of looking at Bella's front teeth in that blank stare expression she has throughout most of the movie. And WHY oh WHY doesn't she like kissing RPattz?? If it were me, I would have made out with him (HAPPILY) through the whole fucking film.

    In general, the things that bugged me didn't bug me as much as with the other movies. I still puffy heart Eclipse so fucking much!!

    ReplyDelete
  31. OK - KNOW i should have had another watch before posting this, because (as usual) you all bring up good points!! especially the "after the storm" bella-out-in-the-cold/no-jacket thing. I was all REALLY?! at the time - lol!

    and perfect - like they're going to visit santa at macys - lol! EXACTLY, Cupcake Donna.

    I also hated the big pause when Edward is in Victoria and Riley's clutches - REALLY?! i thought all this stuff was supposed to happen so fast we can barely see it? lol...

    ReplyDelete
  32. Why is it so many actors chop their hair off, color it, grow facial hair, gain 40 pounds, etc. for film roles and no one in the Twilight series cast is willing to do anything but wear bad wigs borrowed from drag queens? Alice's hair is a travesty-- I know Ashley Greene must be making some serious dough with these films-- cut your hair! Wear a long wig in the bad slasher films you do on the side. And Peter Facinnelli could easily dye his hair back to brown when he goes back to filming Nurse Jackie-- bleach it, mofo!! Jacob and Jasper could have had extensions instead of horrible roadkill wigs. I said it before, I see more convincing wigs on SNL every week. I'd cut my hair off for a coupla grand-- they can't cut/ color theirs for a coupla mil?
    2 other fast rants that I agree with: horrible graduation outfit (even Bella isn't THAT sensory-deprived) and the whole failure of the day-after-the-tent scene. And everyone here is probably tired of my complaints that KStew can't cry so I'll just stop now.
    Happy b-day, LKW!!!
    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  33. not really a rant, but the scene where victoria finally convinced riley to kill edward--camera dramatically pans to riley's fierce and handsome face with awesome background music and then says his line "you're dead"...i burst out laughing (saw eclipse 3x and lmao at that scene 3x). i was expecting a seductive/growly/fierce-sounding voice not an almost high-pitched voice like someone strangled him. sorry but the sound of a voice is important to acting.

    ReplyDelete
  34. hey there twitarts, (thats not a typo i call everyone 'tart')

    first of all happy happy birthday LKW, the naughty forties - we all know that your already toooo naughty for words.

    second of all this is my first time commenting.

    third of all can i get a mother fucken SQUEEEEEEEEEE - always wanted to say that to u all since i've stalked you for months now.

    and fourthly, i'm still far too much in love with eclipse to bag it yet (if at all) fave book, fave movie, fave, fave, fave!!! gonna see it for the FOURTH time on friday - what my friend and i are calling the 'mummy matinee' - the kids will be in school!!!

    maybe after four times the rose coloured glasses will come off!!! NOT

    xxx

    ReplyDelete
  35. I really disliked BDH as Victoria. I'm sure she's a good actress and is beautiful but she didn't have that kind of feral look that Rachelle had as Victoria.

    I also thought the whole scene with the volturi on the rooftop in Seattle was a little... awkward. I mean, I get why they had to put that in there but I hated the fact that Jane pulls her mind trick on Felix (mainly because I kind of want to do bad things to Felix). I don't remember if that was in the book or not.

    ReplyDelete
  36. I got so busy ranting that I forgot to wish LKW a giant HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Bad twitard!

    And since I'm already here: Edward would not run with Bella at human speed during the fight with Victoria and Riley. He. Just. Wouldn't!!! Plus he would totally kick Carlisle's ass in a fight and never get knocked down by him at the end. Edward can read minds, he doesn't Lose Focus! Just sayin'.

    ReplyDelete
  37. One teeny more rant...when the Volturi are watching the newborns from the balcony, there is a female newborn who runs over to the same body twice as the camera pans back and forth between Volturi and newborns. And the tent scene where Edward says "Would you please keep your thoughts to yourself" and I hear "farts" instead of "thoughts" since reading the EW article where Rob explains that "thoughts" sound like "farts" and Kristen tells him that's because he's a "British person".

    ReplyDelete
  38. My dislikes:
    -I don't like Dakota Fanning as Jane. She is just too 'ho hum' for me.
    -I hated how Bella got on the bike with Jake in front of Edward.
    -Carlisle's wig & accent.
    -Esme look - WTF?
    -The B/E kiss when he is delivering her to Jacob (and the New Moon 1st kiss) sucked. What's with the little peck before the deeper kisses. That's not passion.
    -The way the whole Bree thing was done - her name isn't even mentioned.
    -Wolf pack with love handles.

    And my biggest complaint is that they cut out the Edward trying to seduce Bella in the meadow at the end.
    Otherwise, I freaking LOVED it.

    ReplyDelete
  39. oh oh oh, and I totally hate that not only do we not get that first sight moment of Edward like in the other 2 movies, but Jacob gets one?!? WTF is with that? That's just wrong! I miss the smexy cafeteria look and that fuckhawt strut!!!

    ReplyDelete
  40. BDH as Victoira - FAIL
    BREE in general - FAIL. Im so thirsty, what the fuck ever, she was crap.
    SNOW - Fucking fail. WTF was that. Reminded me of when our friends got married and we empty about 6 bags of bean bag beans throughout their house while they were on their honeymoon.
    No Edward deciding to give it up to Bella in the meadow after the fight - fail
    My main annoyance is though that I love the baseball clearing in twilight. If I can ever go to one location from any of the movies (besides Roberts Pants obviously), that is where I would go. Isn't the fight supposed to happen there, isn't the training supposed to happen there? The training looked like they had found some little walking trail out the back of Charlies, it was such a small enclosed space. Same with the fight scene, I wanted it to look the same as the clearing that it is supposed to have taken place in, to have the waterfall in the background. So that was a fail for me.

    ReplyDelete
  41. I have many pet peeves, but I'm not Team Edward. I can't be. Sorry folks I can't, I spend my RL being an advocate for women to be break free from controlling and possessive individuals and can't just be like well Edward is hawt and it's fiction so no big. I'm not really Team Jake either, but it's a bit easier to take his asshoodness because he's a 16-year-old and I don't know many true 16-year-olds who aren't assholes at most of the times.

    Oh, to point, there are many, many, many things that annoy me about the book vs. movie aspects of these films. But one of the main one was the kiss between Bella and Jake. In the book he takes those long strides (2 maybe) to get to Bella and lay the smack down on her lips. The kiss was just wrong, just wrong. It wasn't supposed to be full-submittal in the beginning, she was suppose to battle with herself and then what, breakdown down and get all up in Jake's mouth. And then we were suppose to see dark-haired tots and a happy Bella (shock).

    I'm short and long strides are weird so the quick-step Taylor did, I forgive. But the whole emotional play out of the kiss, I can't. And I wanted to see some dark-haired tots running around. I wanted to see the alternate future. Yes, that may have been hard to play on film, *whiny voice* but I wanted to see it!!! *foot stomp*

    ReplyDelete
  42. quick rant: i hated how when edward gave bella the supposed BEAUTIFUL heart diamond charm, she was just like "oh, thanks." in the book she pretty much had the complete opposite reaction and couldn't stop being amazed by it and his thoughtfulness....

    i know i get all gooey when Boyfriend thinks to buy me flowers, much less an expensive ass diamond charm!

    ReplyDelete
  43. Happy Birthday, LKW, my fellow Leo!! (Mine's tomorrow... there will be mimosas... on the couch... while I watch Twilight and New Moon... and read fan fiction... and eat really bad for me food.)

    I'm still sorta in the honeymoon stage with Eclipes too. I've seen it two times, hopefully will squeeze in a third. But honeymoon or not, I still totally agree with all the rants posted so far.

    But proably my biggest is Kristen. And that sucks because I love her but she's just not bringing it as Bella. I want emotion. Seriously, she's in love (unconditionally and irrevocably in love, BTW) and I don't think she shows that at all. I'm so tired of the blank stares, mouth agape, chicklet teeth exposed, it's friggin frustrating. She's so much better than that.

    Ditto on bad wigs, Weecob's itty bitty nips and munchkiness, flabby wolf pack, faux flowers and snow, Jasper's hair (again) and BDH as Victoria... all FAILS. But it's all about Bella and Edward so what really gets my goat is changing the story to make Bella pull shit she would NEVER do or say to Edward... EVER.

    Ok, so this post is not all about the rants, I have to say that I LOVED that Peter Murphy had a cameo. I got so excited when I saw him, I had to whisper to my fellow moviegoers and I got blank stares. They had no idea who I was talking about. FAIL on them!

    ReplyDelete
  44. I've seen Eclipse 3 times(sad I know. I was up to 5 for New Moon by now) and I don't love it. We went to the triple feature opening night and at the end of Eclipse I was like wtf was that? I HATED the movie. My absolute hands down fav book and I hated the movie. heartbreak.

    Anyways, I am learning to love it(I feel like Charlie saying that lol) The filming, stunts, special effects rocked. Rob looked sooooo hot but to me something was missing and I can't put my finger on it.

    And yes, Bryce as Victoria simply did not work. She wasn't fierce enough and her voice? I wanted to stab my eardrums. Bella's wig, my mind started to block that from my view lol. When Bella jumped on Jacob's motorcycle, I couldn't believe that he just let her go; what was that?

    But my biggest rant is the leg hitch; yes we got it, yes it was hot(ish) but it seemed so totally rushed. And like laphipps commented what was with Bella's reaction when Edward gave her the diamond charm? And where was Alice knowing about them being engaged? U-G-H.

    I'm seeing it again tomorrow :p

    ReplyDelete
  45. I hate that they replaced Edward wanting to finally bust a move with Bella at the end with that "Here's why Twilight isn't anti-feminist" speech from Bella.

    I also can't stand people who think Twilight is anti-feminist and that Edward is controlling. Can they not read at the third grade reading level that Stephenie wrote the books in?

    That speech Bella gives about never fitting in anywhere before is what you read at the beginning of the first book before she even meets Edward and sets the precedent. She doesn't feel a tie to the real world nor does she feel like she fits into it. She's not giving up anything she doesn't want to to be with Edward. Jeebus.

    Also, Ummm...Edward may attempt to be controlling mostly b/c Bella could find death in a petting zoo. Does he not have reason to fear for Bella's safety around Jacob? Hello? Emily's Face??? That wasn't a love tap.

    Every time he even attempts to ask her not to do something she wants to do she lays the smack down on his ass. How i don't know. It's not like she can withhold sex. It's certainly not pussy whipping keeping him in check. Edward gives in to her every single want and whiny desires. She wants to visit her werewolf friend even though he could claw her expressionless face off, he lets her. She wants to be a vampire, he doesn't want her to but says fine but he's not doing it. She wants him to do it, he says fine. She wants him to literally fuck her to death as that's the likely outcome, he doesn't want to but says okay, if that's what you want. I mean do I need to go on here? She calls ALL the shots and he lives to give her everything she wants and this is considered anti feminist? Ooooo kayyy.

    Sorry, that rant was slightly off topic but I couldn't hold it back anymore.

    ReplyDelete
  46. Bella's wig..it changed constantly, in one scene she is outside and her hair is straight and parted in the middle, then she goes inside for the whole " I'm a virgin speech"and he hair is parted in the side and curly... now either she has a salon in her Foyer or it was really humid in the kitchen.

    The wig in general did not look natural in many scenes

    ReplyDelete
  47. Bella's wig..it changed constantly, in one scene she is outside and her hair is straight and parted in the middle, then she goes inside for the whole " I'm a virgin speech"and he hair is parted in the side and curly... now either she has a salon in her Foyer or it was really humid in the kitchen.

    The wig in general did not look natural in many scenes

    ReplyDelete
  48. First I want to say that I loved the movie. But of course there are things that bugged me. I hated the speach Bella gave at the end. Give me a break that she's always felt different. They should just stick to the book!

    ReplyDelete
  49. there's one main thing that has bothered me from the beginning and will continue to bother me until this saga is over...

    EMOTIONLESS KRISTEN.

    girl can't cry to save her fucking life. all she does is breathe hard and make whimpering noises.
    there is no chemistry between she and rob. i try to feel something and i feel nothing. just...nothing.
    therefore i don't care about bella. at all. because i don't feel like she cares about anyone else.
    that bitch thinks she's way too cool for school (pardon my expression) and you can tell. a lot.

    i like RL kristen and have enjoyed her in other movies, but there should have been another bella from the beginning. and if she was being honest, she'd agree with me.

    ReplyDelete
  50. My pet peeve- Alice's necklace/choker. The one she wears in every damn scene.

    Perfect for ... lounging around the house? Check. Going to high school? Check. Graduation? Check. Kicking some bad vampire ass? Check.

    WTF?

    ReplyDelete
  51. I never thought of Edward as controlling. Just like Jacob says in Breaking Dawn, he always gave Bella whatever she wanted. I hated the speech that Bella gave at the end of the movie. I don't understand why they had to make the changes that ruined the movie. Now I am pissed off about this because I loved most of the movie. After reading these rants and thinking about this, I remembered something that Rob said during the New Moon Comic Con. He said that after reading the Eclipse script, he was being very argumentative about it. I bet he was talking about the changes from the book that we have been ranting about.

    ReplyDelete
  52. Tons of things I loved, tons of things I hated. I'll just put up one thing I hated more than Edward's insanely bushy pubic hair sideburns.

    Dakota Fanning's un-plucked eyebrows.

    Can someone please explain this to me? I've never seen someone in more dire need of a Mr. Tweezer in my whole God Damn LIFE!

    The End.

    ReplyDelete
  53. @ Jane is a Vamp- I TOTALLY AGREE!!!!

    I remember thinking in NM when Jacob pulled her from the water what terrible acting it was!! Look, you knock your head on a rock and nearly drown. Your lungs take in water. You need to cough that shit up!!

    Kristen just kinda crossed her eyes and looked like she just woke up! HELLLLOOOO!!! Where's the sputtering, the coughing, the fear of almost drowning!!!

    I should win an Oscar....

    ReplyDelete
  54. I was going to say my pet peeve was only seeing the film once but after reading all the comments, I think I will stick to seeing it just once and then I won't have any pet peeves. I can't remember most of the stuff pointed out but I do have the memory that I loved the movie and had a great time with the people I went with that night :) That is good enough for me (until the DVD of course).

    ReplyDelete
  55. My Eclipse film hates:-

    1. Taycob not sexy enough to entice Bella away from Edward - I am looking for a big muscled tight black t-shirt wearing Harley riding biker - not the boy.

    2. Wolf pack - meh.

    3. Tent scene - everytime the camera moved from Edward to Jacob - Edwards hair moved up and down his forehead. The reshoot is obvious.

    3. Seth - pointless two seconds of screen time for Booboo.

    4. Bree - see above. Why bother to write a book about her when she made not impact at all in the film.

    5. BDH said in an interview that she wanted to use a baby/girly voice just like the book because Bella hadn't heard her voice before - what about the baseball game when Rachelle spoke about her wicked curve ball?

    Feel better now.

    ReplyDelete
  56. I saw it 6 times (yeah I know *eye roll*)and I hate, absolutely hate BDH as Victoria and the more I saw the movie the more I couldn't stand it. Same with Jake and all his "I know you love me" bullshit. I would almost be in physical pain waiting for his scenes to be over. Some of the wigs and make up was absolute fail. In IMAX you could see how poorly they applied the Stew's eyebrows and don't get me started on Nikki's black brows and light blonde hair, they lightened everyone else's why not hers?

    I guess I'm the only one who really didn't have a problem w/the way Carlisle spoke or I just didn't pay much attention to him idk.

    But god yes whoever said they were sick of Kristen's emotionless disconnect. I AGREE! I'm not a fan of her anyway, I don't think she's a great actor and she proves that ro me time and time again. Bella is supposed to completely and obsessively in love with Edward, she's supposed to be the one pushing him to go further but it seems to me she holds back and that as it goes along her chemistry with Rob gets worse and worse. There is no passion at all. So that's one good reason why I'm not a fan of whatever the hell they've got going on- it's bad for business.

    Okay, making Edward the bitch of the story. Seriously? Some of that stuff wouldn't have happened. In the book I've never seen him as controlling either. He's a vampire, he has heightened everything including emotions. So to me that's his mate and he's going to do anything and everything to keep her alive and sometimes that makes him a little irrational and do stupid things because he's not thinking about anything other than keep her alive. The whole leaving him in the parking lot thing and making him seem like he's just gonna be okay with every way she screws him over was not cool.

    Some of the CGI was really bad like the punch and the way the background looked during the Victoria fight, not to mention the powdered sugar they used for snow.

    The whole sequence with the vampire army and then the Volturi watching them was not needed at all- that's 5 minutes they could have used in someone's backstory or something. Someone told me it was from the Bree book, well I don't give a shit, the Bree book isn't Eclipse so why is it in the movie? Oh and Bree was all kinds of lame too. Some scary blood thristy newborn ya got there- not. *deep breath* okay I think I'm done now lol.

    ReplyDelete
  57. 1) Kristen - Thank you for not over blinking and vurping every time you were on screen. Now, can you do that AND act at the same time?

    2) meadow - There are like a million twihards in north america. Try using that resource to find a REAL meadow. I also don't like how Edward was all hot and bothered in the beginning meadow scene nor did I like Bella's speech at the end.

    3) Training - The Cullen's would not have changed clothes for it. Wear once and toss, that's their motto. Alice wouldn't let them HAVE work out clothes.

    4) tent scene - there were issues and i could have overlooked them had the bit about when their truce would be over been included. It wasn't. The tent scene was lacking.

    5) Ming reading - Summit, try reading the BOOKS. Edward can read minds. He's not going to get his ass kicked like you've been letting him.

    6) Esme - Her eyes had a green tint during the battle scene. Guess Summit ran out of money in their CGI account.

    7) Camera work - Did someone forget to tell DS that it's a romance/fantasy film and not a cheesy zombie movie?

    8) Bree - I liked the novella for the most part. It had a lot of potential as added story for the film. it's too bad it wasn't at ALL utilized. She should have just been cut all together. Waste of payroll.

    9) Volturi - I don't get the choice to make Demitri an uber creepy stranger danger type. Shouldn't he be more stalkery? Felix and Alec just shouldn't talk at all. The synchronized hood drop was a bad choice. I laughed at all of these little moments. TG Dakota Fanning could keep it real.

    ReplyDelete
  58. I agree that they totally emasculated edward throughout - he did NOT require bella's help in the fight in the book and their scene after she kisses Jacob was cut to like one line?WTF? Any chance they had to beef up Jacobs role they did at the expense of Edward - guess what team Jacob? She doesn't end up with him!! Unless summit plans on changing that in breaking dawn...agree that her speech at the end was lame - yes it IS about Edward! You have the hottest guy to hit movies in a generation and you spend 2 movies minimizing his role. M Rosenberg is so team Jacob...

    ReplyDelete
  59. Edward is supposed to look lika a marble sculpture. Couldn´t he wax his chest??? marble with hairs... meh.

    ReplyDelete
  60. First of all I want to stand up and say I stand by my BJ offer to Slade. He raised the bar so high that the next director is going to have to learn to pole vault (and we all expect him to).

    Now on with the rant.

    Bella's lips (although easy enough to fix) don't botter me one TENTH as much as Edward's lips. He's supposed to look like WHITE MARBLE for crap's sake... why are his lips so many varying shades of pink and red? Absolutely RIDICULOUS!!!

    And I blame 100% of the Edward emasculation on that LAME script writer. Why she's been allowed to continue after that FAIL of a script that is Twilight. She is the one who is changing Bella's character into something it's absolutely NOT. Maybe she's trying to be more PC or something... I don't know, but it's lame, Lame, LAME!!!

    ReplyDelete
  61. I really hated when Bella jumped on the bike with Jacob because that is not at all how it happened and the book was way better than the movie. Granted I haven't read the book again since I found fanfic (which by the way is far better) but still...how could they change such a huge part.

    Besides that I just liked looking at the pretty.

    ReplyDelete
  62. Has anyone made sense of the date usage? The newspaper Charlie had at the beginning said June 2010. But later the Missing Riley flier said last seen May 2010. Hadn't he been missing for a year, not a month?
    Why insert dates if they don't make sense.

    BTW, I'm cracking up at how annoyed these flaws in the film make us, yet we still love it and watch compulsively. In so many ways it's crap, but also so compelling and addicting.

    Also, I have no free time whatsoever. Why am I on this site reading comments every day?!

    Mysteries, indeed.

    ReplyDelete
  63. The thing that I can't accept as a legitimate criticism of the series is that the stalking, controlling, harrassing theme should have been purged. Edward's a vampire, for fuck's sake. It's what they do. They stalk their prey. And they enthrall their love objects. I think we are all supposed to believe that, because Edward is supposedly a virgin, he doesn't have the awareness of his vampiric abilities in this respect. IMHO SM handles it effectively enough when she has Bella declare she's Switzerland. Then of course Edward goes to the opposite extreme, suddenly being overly tolerant of every-and-any idea she has! OK - I'm going to derail here.

    I love this blog and all of you here who help me make sense (probably not) of this ridiculous obsession I have that is a compilation of all things Twilight & Robward.

    Elle207

    ReplyDelete
  64. Hey Ladies! HAPPY BIRTHDAY to LKW, and Jacksonstat!!!

    Okay, so I still luuurrvvved Eclipse, like, a lot. David Slade, you will have my eternal gratitude. SO. FUCKAWESOME.

    A lot of stuff that other people had problems with didn't necessarily bother me. *Ducks behind desk* For instance, I adore Taycob and his teensy weensy nipples, and his brilliant white teeth, so much that I don't even care how short he is. I don't care. I LOVE HIM AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT.

    Additionally, and I know this one is gonna get me killed, I didn't hate BDH as Victoria. EEeeeeeee don't kill me! I know, I know - she's no Rachelle. I was as disappointed as the next person when I heard she wouldn't be on Eclipse. But I came to terms with it before I saw the movie - I decided that it wasn't going to be as awesome, but I would deal with whatever BDH put forth. And to be honest? With those expectations, I quite liked her. Especially her angryface when Edward finally breaks through her shell... "You'll never get another chance like this!" *Victoria growl* Oooh. Pimpy liked.

    The things that bothered me were: 1) ROSALIE'S EYEBROWS. For fuck's sake. I was so excited to be watching this part - I had pictured it in my head so many times, and I was dying to SEE Rosalie's backstory. I love this part of the book, because it really fleshes out her character. But ALL I COULD DO WAS STARE AT HER FUCKING EYEBROWS. It tooootally killed it for me.

    2)Someone up the thread (forgive me for being too lazy to check back) mentioned giggling when Riley was like, "You're dead." I'm kind of with you on that one. I LOVED Riley (and want to bang him til the cows come home) but with the music building to that point, I was expecting something.... more? I don't know.

    AND the Bree thing bugged the shit out of me. No digging her nails into the ground? No screaming? No "How can you stand it"? It would have been so easy to include, I just don't understand.

    AND FINALLY. Let me just say that I consider myself a feminist. I believe that I am, in every way, equal to a man, and if in real life, my boyfriend stopped me from seeing my best friend by DISMANTLING MY CAR I would have it out right there. Done. Over. This shit does not fly with Fooorkspimp.

    But the thing is, Twilight is not real life. And that is why I love it. I can't explain why I think Edward is so fucking sexy, or why his extreme protectiveness somehow ends up being adorable instead of creepy. But I'm okay with that. It's a book. A book that I love, in spite of and because of all its faults. It's fantasy.

    That being said, Bella's little speech at the end struck me as weird. It's not so much what she says as it is the fact that they felt like they needed to include it. I feel like it was put in there to appease the haters, the people who are like, "Bella is setting women back 50 years!" But the thing is? If you need that to enjoy these movies, then they. Are. Not. For. You.

    And seriously? No, Bella is not setting us back. Because this is FICTION, and while we enjoy it, we know it is not real life. I know it is hard to believe that *gasp!* we can enjoy a story without wanting every little bit to be true, but I find the "anti-feminist" criticisms to be condescending. ZOMG, she can use her ladybrains to decide that even though she likes the books, she does not actually want a stalker to watch her sleep! Don't tell me I can't be a feminist and a Twitard at the same time. Let me enjoy my motherfucking Twilight in peace. Shit.

    Wheeeeww! Sorry, that turned into a crazypants rant, directed at no one at this site, at all. I'll let you get back to your regularly scheduled programming! Fuckawesome post, as always, STY :)

    ReplyDelete
  65. @ forkspimp...."let me enjoy my motherfucking Twilight in peace. Shit".... PREACH IT, SISTER!!! I could NOT agree more.

    ReplyDelete
  66. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  67. Amen, sister! Finally, someone else disses on Esme's shit pile of a wig in the last fight scene of the movie. That was the nastiest ass thing I have ever seen! In fact, all the wigs in that movie were hosed - especially Bella. How in the hell could they fuck up the hair so badly? That is the easiest thing to get right and they screw it up!

    ReplyDelete
  68. Yeah, they need to up the ante in the next movie on dangerous, scary Edward. He's getting too nice and he needs the "bad boy" element to balance out the pretty-and-devoted a bit -- the mix is the secret to his success.

    I was totally let down at the end the first time I saw it b/c I was totally anticipating the moment when he "gave in" to her and was ready to go for it. But then it just ended. Took the wind right out of me. I liked it better the second time, for all its flaws. RPattz is truly the best thing about the series.

    ReplyDelete
  69. Lolz @ Twilight Junkie :-D TESTIFY!

    ReplyDelete
  70. *princesspottymouth*July 28, 2010 at 10:32 PM

    Ya, It bothered me that bella seemed like soooo much more of a bitch to Edward. She was especially mean when Jacob hears Edward say "Mrs. Cullen. ***But ok this is SUPER funny. Durinng the fight scene when Jacob gets hurt and is on the ground in his naked human form and he says "Bella", you insert " dont look at my weener". It cracks me up every time!!

    ReplyDelete
  71. On my fourth viewing, things that annoyed me a bit before really started getting on my nerves.

    But first the good: Charlie. I love him. The scene with him and Bella talking about sex I think was my favorite scene in the movie.

    Another plus in the movie was the Alice/Jasper scenes (even with his bad wig!)

    Now, the bad (or puzzling):

    1. Did anyone else notice that when they got back from Jacksonville and Edward discovered someone had been in her room ... they went to the Cullens, and ALL the vampires had black eyes. Why?? Up until that point, they weren't on Bella patrol. I think something must have been cut that would have had that make sense.

    2. I'm not a Kristen fan, and this movie did nothing to change that. I wanted to scream at the screen, "Close your fucking mouth!" Seriously, her mouth was always open. Maybe her teeth are too big for her to close it properly.

    3. Speaking of teeth ... Riley's teeth annoyed me, especially in the first scene. His bottom teeth jutted out.

    4. Esme = so ugly. Good grief!

    5. The whole campfire/third wife scene could have been cut completely, and I would have been happy.

    6. Jacob's teeny-tiny nipples, which I didn't even notice the first three times. Thanks, Twitards!

    7. Carlisle's stupid accent.

    8. Edward being a pussy. The scene where he takes a part out of her car so she can't see Jacob? In the book, I loved how he told her she could keep her window closed if she didn't want to see him. She slammed it shut, and then opened it back up.

    9. BDH. No. She was bad. Her voice drove me crazy.

    10. Sam Uley. He's a bad actor and not attractive in the least.

    ReplyDelete
  72. I agree with everything you said here. Parts of the movie were physically painful to watch because they were so TOTALLY inconstant with the characters that we know and fantasize about.. oops I mean... love.

    BDH washed out whiny Victoria did not hold a candle Rachelle's feral, vicious, plotting Victoria.

    Rose's black Caterpillar eyebrows were like a slow torture for me. During her flashback scene I swear it was the only thing I could watch. It looked like someone drew on her face with a sharpie marker.

    Bella's "3rd wife" scene was So TOTALLY unconvincing! "I'm going to scrape my arm with a sort of sharp rock while making a pooping face. But I'm not going to actually watch what I'm doing. Even so, blood is going to GUSH down my arm from this unseen gash as if I'm in SAW IV."

    I don't know what Jackspur did to piss off the wardrobe department but he better make up to them before they start filming BD. If not I think they are just going to duct tape a live animal to his head in place of a wig.

    Lastly, I'm not exactly sure when ugly became the new pretty but I'm really not OK with it. Based on how hideous they made Esme and Jasper it's possible that they actually did hire a gorgeous cast and then proceed to beat the crap out of them with the ugly brush in the makeup trailer.

    ps: Riley... YUM!!! Skummit apparently asked all the talented makeup artists to work on him. That vamp can steal my pillowcase anytime.

    ReplyDelete
  73. OMG I forgot to mention something! Did you guys notice that in some scenes one of Jacob´s nosetrils looks like its closed??? Check it out the next time you see it!
    Oh you all know you will see it AGAIN.

    ReplyDelete
  74. Saw it for the third time last night. Still trying to turn myself from the initial disappointment I felt when I saw it first. It's getting easier but these two things still cause me to dig my fingernails into my palms:

    1. Edward staying away from the fight. Bella emotionally blackmails him in the book. Where the hell was that in the film? It was like Edward came up with the idea himself. HATED IT!
    2. The post Jacob kiss scene. "I don't know what happened" "You love him" "I love you more" "I know" End of scene. I honestly want to stab my eyes out when I see this scene. It disappoints me SO much.

    My other bug bears which whilst annoying, don't ruin the whole film for me:
    1. Android Bella - no emotions... like at all. Except in the virgin scene with Charlie.
    2. Android Bella part 2. "Well maybe hurry back a bit" One of the problems I have with KStew is that she is just so monotone. She puts no inflections in her voice at all. When she said this line, it was like Edward had just suggested they go do the groceries, not just snogged her face off. She just sounded bored. Having done a fair bit of acting myself, I know that monotone is NOT GOOD.
    2. Shrinking Jacob - is it just me or did he look bigger in NM?
    3. Jane - Dakota Fanning rocked in NM. Here? Epic fail. And those eyebrows? They were eating her face.
    4. BDH as Victoria - nuff said.
    5. Carlisle's bouffant - how to make a handsome man look shit 101.
    6. Dimitri - Scary vampire? Er no. Camp vampire? 100%.
    7. The score - The incidental music of a film should totally mirror the emotions of a scene. The New Moon score was amazing and can reduce me to tears. There was nothing in Eclipse of any note and Jacobs Theme on the soundtrack is just a total letdown.
    8. Edwards fight pants - Kept expecting him to shuffle sideways and yell "You Can't Touch This"
    9. If vampires are now made from stone in David Slade's world, how do they catch on fire?
    10. Where was Rosalie in the fight scene? Was she busy getting her eyebrows dyed the right colour?

    I know I'm probably sailing this boat alone but I actually preferred New Moon and that's even with Edward missing for half of it...

    ReplyDelete
  75. i've already ranted about emotionless kristen.
    but now that i'm perusing these comments, another big problem is gnawing at me.

    we care about the books because of the emotions, yes? and these emotions motivate the characters to act as the do, yes? otherwise it's a different story, yes?

    even though the events in eclipse are basically the same, the emotions behind them are totally different. i tried not to let it bother me, but it really. fucking. does.

    bella getting on jake's bike basically just to be a bitch while edward does nothing. never. happen.

    edward getting angry (although it was HOT) when jacob kisses bella. edward is above such things, thankyouverymuch.

    edward making the choice to stay out of the battle when in the books, bella clearly (important plot point!!!) manipulates him.

    bella kissing jake for real and realizing she loves him but then feeling no emotions or heartache at all when she breaks it off.

    and finally! bella's bullshit feminist speech at the end. what. the. fuck. was. that?

    wow, didn't realize how angry i was about this stuff...

    ReplyDelete
  76. TOTALLY agree on Bree. I thought she was good, but why oh why didn't they have her writhing around, yearning for Bella's blood?! I don't get it! That's one of the things I found so haunting about her in Eclipse. I just remember being disturbed by her whole 5 minutes in the book and I did not feel that way about the movie. Total fail there. I also agree about Bella's lips in the tent scene. While they looked beautiful, they should have looked more like blueberries.

    ReplyDelete
  77. It's so sad, but I agree with everything that's been said and...I have one more thing that I just hated. The opening sequence. In what universe would Victoria ever have taken a blingingly fast running leap at Riley like that and "scratched" (cuz it didn't look like a bite) his wrist???? WTF! Victoria would have seduced him, perhaps picked him up in the bar and she would have "invited him in with her devasting, inhuman beauty, her smell and her voice". She would have wanted to establish some sort of relationship with him, I mean he was going to be her main man, her love (at least that's what she wanted him to believe) and the commandant of her newborn army. How in the hell was she supposed to have done that when he didn't know who the fuck she was and was an out of control, blood thirsty newborn for the first year?????? And, of course, at some point, she would have leaned her head in for what Riley thought would be the kiss to end all kisses (and indeed it would) and SHE BITES HIM IN THE NECK. Now that would have been a great opening sequence!

    ReplyDelete
  78. OMG, I can't belive that I am the first Texan to comment on the "amazing" scenery they created for the Galveston scenes.

    I live on Galveston Island, where Jasper was born and I will tell you there are NO mountains anywhere near by. Not two years ago, our island was splahed all over the news thanks to Hurricane Ike - because our very flat sandbar of an island was completely covered with water - it is incredible that no one who was helping make Eclipse happened to stumble across the distinct lack of mountainous ranges anywhere in this region.

    At the premier, when the Galveston scene popped up, the theater ROARED with laughter - it is ridiculous. I can't believe that Summit couldn't "Google it" and see some images of the battle of Galveston and the landscape that would be within an hours horseride of our island!!!

    Oh yeah, why can't Jacob do something about that mess of a schnoz that ruins every scene that he's in?

    ReplyDelete
  79. I have a few things to moan about too. Mostly I agree with the tent non-blue lips scene and how Bree wasn't screaming blue murder or trying to get close to Bella to rip her throat out (that's a completely stupid oversight. She's a friggin newborn near to the only human around. How daft can you be to ignore what her obvious reaction would be. Especially when she even has her own friggin book now *rolling eyes*)

    Here are mine:

    Alice's vision of seeing Bella's red shirt in one of the vamp's hands. Jacob was right there and isn't he supposed to stop her from seeing these things? Think they forgot that.

    Rosalie should have been more protective and pissed off when Emmett and Paul have a go at each other. She's supposed to be furious about the confrontation cos Emmett was in danger at that point.

    While, thank God, Jasper looks hotter than those promo pics lead me to believe, Esme on the other hand looks bloody awful (like it has been said already).

    The "forced" kiss from Jacob. Forced?? Are you sure?? Jesus this scene pissed me off! He's supposed to grab Bella and kiss her roughly, so much so she has to limp to get him to stop. Where was the panicked "no Jacob, no!" and his sexual aggression? I had a hard time believing in this scene. On the page, it's near worrying cos he's so intense.

    I would've liked to have seen the bed scene a bit longer and dammit Rob, get your bloody shirt off! Grrrr.

    When Bella runs after Jacob after being pissed off with Edward and tells him to kiss her, I would've liked to have seen Edward look more wounded by that instead of just shrugging his shoulders like it was nothing.

    This is the best Bella yet definitely, but when she says "I'm Switzerland" OMG did that line jar. They really didn't have to keep that, it was so out of place in that scene - jumping from her narrative to her saying it. Didn't work.

    There were other things here and there but on the whole, it's still my fave out of the three and BD is gonna have its work cut out (like it doesn't already! Almost feel sorry for it).

    ReplyDelete
  80. @Fooorkspimp

    Just wanna say I LOVED your response. I agree. Although I loved Rachelle, especially cos of NM and she didn't even talk then!, and was SO disappointed/ticked off she wouldn't be in Eclipse when it would have been her chance to really shine and show us her stuff, I knew I wouldn't care for Bryce whatshername so much, so that when I saw it I wasn't as disappointed as I was expecting to be. I thought she did great growls too - and when she looked pissed off, I thought she did good in the fight scene. Rachelle will always be my fave Victoria - if not the only one - and I'll always wonder what could have been, but on the whole it could have been worse. (They should have got Bryce to dye her hair back to its normal red though cos that wig was terrible. As only a Twilight wig can be)

    And that speech at the end was so not necessary like you said. You can tell it was thrown in cos they think they should be passing on a "message" to teen girls about not needing a man to make you whole blah blah blah. Yeaaah most teen girls know that already and are either banging that drum themselves or are beating the crap out of their own fellas verbally or otherwise. It totally talks down to all age groups. Grrrr.

    ReplyDelete
  81. Just wanna ALSO say, I don't care how many times or how many ways Edward is described as "marble" thank YOU people for not telling Rob to wax his chest!!! Enough friggin "men" in Hollywood do that as it is. Urgh and beyond. Rob is perfect how he is, and it makes him sexier to NOT have the smooth chest of a pre-pubescent boy. (that's for Jacob/Taylor, lol). Besides, if there's gonna be an argument for marble = hairless, then how come the hair on their heads/arms/legs and anywhere else wouldn't disappear the moment they become immortal. If they had it as a mortal in the beginning then they'd bring it over to their vampire self. Simple as that.

    ReplyDelete
  82. @RobsFire - Holla! We're on the same wavelength, bb :) Also with you on Bryce's hair - although I think it might just be a rite of passage for the cast. You HAVE to have a shitty wig! :-P

    ReplyDelete
  83. So, I went to Eclipse for the 5th time last night. I have such a love/hate relationship with it. There is another scene that is so totally fucked up it's just beyond belief. When Bella is going to Edward's house the night before the big battle with the newborns, SHE DRIVES HER TRUCK THERE ALONE! Now remember, a significant story line here is that BELLA MUST BE PROTECTED!!!! Then she walks up to the front door in the pitch black dark with the forest just steps away where newborns and/or Victoria could be lurking, and Edward opens the door and says "Hi, what are you doing outside? What's wrong?") Hell yes, what are you doing outside ALONE. And "What's wrong" is just every single thing about that scene. If you want to know what really happened, go to pages 436 & 437 in Eclipse and read the beautiful and absolutely romantic way Bella really got to Edward's house and inside. The way this scene is written in the book is the reason we are all so in love with Edward and these books and this story. At the last scene last night, as soon as Bella stands up and backs away from Edward to start her "I am woman, hear me roar" "its never been about you Edward, it's always been about me and you're not as important to me as you think you are Edward - joke's on you, ha ha" I got up and walked out. I think I am done ranting now!

    ReplyDelete
  84. Carlise is a doctor, right? How come he cant put a bandage on properly? After angrywards scene, when they are at the cullens he wraps her wrist. Pls.

    Not like it ruined the film but still!

    And Jacobs bellybutton, is it huge? I think so.

    ReplyDelete
  85. hey bb! Me again. I had to comment on this post! I honestly didn't have many pet peeves - I let alot of things go - I barely said a bad word against Twilight and New Moon and we both know they had alot of WTF moments. I think Eclipse may very well be my fav of the three (some days I still prefer twilight so I dunno..) anyway a couple of things pissed me off
    1. Bella's reaction when angry Edward gets in Jake's face after the kiss. She's meant to want him to kick his ass not be all "no Edward don't"
    2. Victoria. Bryce might be a lovely lady and I have nothing against her but she really isn't Victoria. She had absolutely nothing on Rachelle and I jsut wish Summit could have worked something out with Rachelle instead of employing Bryce
    3. The smashing - what happened to "TEAR THEM APART and burn the pieces" when did it say smash them? I actually laughed at Victoria's decapitated head.
    4. I never realised vampires were so flamable - someone needs to warn Edward to stay away from the bunsen burners in chemistry - did you see how Victoria pretty much exploded? Maybe it was the leather coat...I dunno...
    5. Bella not even apologising or looking particularly guilty over kissing Jacob. WHAT THE FUUUUCK. Call me old-fashioned but when you're engaged to someone and you kiss another guy shouldn't you at least apologise - she seemed more embarrased that he heard Jake's thoughts about it than felt bad.
    6. Bella seeming to want to be a vampire more than she wanted to be with Edward if that makes sense?

    I think that's it. Oh and what do you mean no one in the vampire army was hot? Did you not see Riley? I wouldn't kick him outa bed. Js

    ReplyDelete
  86. hey bb! Me again. I had to comment on this post! I honestly didn't have many pet peeves - I let alot of things go - I barely said a bad word against Twilight and New Moon and we both know they had alot of WTF moments. I think Eclipse may very well be my fav of the three (some days I still prefer twilight so I dunno..) anyway a couple of things pissed me off
    1. Bella's reaction when angry Edward gets in Jake's face after the kiss. She's meant to want him to kick his ass not be all "no Edward don't"
    2. Victoria. Bryce might be a lovely lady and I have nothing against her but she really isn't Victoria. She had absolutely nothing on Rachelle and I jsut wish Summit could have worked something out with Rachelle instead of employing Bryce
    3. The smashing - what happened to "TEAR THEM APART and burn the pieces" when did it say smash them? I actually laughed at Victoria's decapitated head.
    4. I never realised vampires were so flamable - someone needs to warn Edward to stay away from the bunsen burners in chemistry - did you see how Victoria pretty much exploded? Maybe it was the leather coat...I dunno...
    5. Bella not even apologising or looking particularly guilty over kissing Jacob. WHAT THE FUUUUCK. Call me old-fashioned but when you're engaged to someone and you kiss another guy shouldn't you at least apologise - she seemed more embarrased that he heard Jake's thoughts about it than felt bad.
    6. Bella seeming to want to be a vampire more than she wanted to be with Edward if that makes sense?

    I think that's it. Oh and what do you mean no one in the vampire army was hot? Did you not see Riley? I wouldn't kick him outa bed. Js

    ReplyDelete
  87. Just wanna ALSO say, I don't care how many times or how many ways Edward is described as "marble" thank YOU people for not telling Rob to wax his chest!!! Enough friggin "men" in Hollywood do that as it is. Urgh and beyond. Rob is perfect how he is, and it makes him sexier to NOT have the smooth chest of a pre-pubescent boy. (that's for Jacob/Taylor, lol). Besides, if there's gonna be an argument for marble = hairless, then how come the hair on their heads/arms/legs and anywhere else wouldn't disappear the moment they become immortal. If they had it as a mortal in the beginning then they'd bring it over to their vampire self. Simple as that.

    ReplyDelete
  88. @Fooorkspimp

    Just wanna say I LOVED your response. I agree. Although I loved Rachelle, especially cos of NM and she didn't even talk then!, and was SO disappointed/ticked off she wouldn't be in Eclipse when it would have been her chance to really shine and show us her stuff, I knew I wouldn't care for Bryce whatshername so much, so that when I saw it I wasn't as disappointed as I was expecting to be. I thought she did great growls too - and when she looked pissed off, I thought she did good in the fight scene. Rachelle will always be my fave Victoria - if not the only one - and I'll always wonder what could have been, but on the whole it could have been worse. (They should have got Bryce to dye her hair back to its normal red though cos that wig was terrible. As only a Twilight wig can be)

    And that speech at the end was so not necessary like you said. You can tell it was thrown in cos they think they should be passing on a "message" to teen girls about not needing a man to make you whole blah blah blah. Yeaaah most teen girls know that already and are either banging that drum themselves or are beating the crap out of their own fellas verbally or otherwise. It totally talks down to all age groups. Grrrr.

    ReplyDelete

Comments are our life now. Leave one!